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Dear Santos

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Originally posted by Shinboners
Dear Santos

There is a problem with Adelaide water and I believe that it is a Melbourne conspiracy to stop the Crows from winning the premiership. How are the players going to be performing at 100% if they can't get their shampoo to mix in with the water properly so that all that grit and grime can be removed? They're going to be on national television, so it must play on their minds that their hair doesn't look 100% - anyone would be so self conscious of a national audience laughing at greasy hair. Those bastards in Melbourne have good water so they can wash up properly, so they don't have the same problem as our heroic and underrated Crows do. How is Andrew McLeod (who is underrated by Victorians) supposed to win the ball (in a way that is underrated by those Victorians), set up the play (in an underrated way by those Victorians), score brilliant (and underrated by those Victorians) goals when he has an itchy scalp to contend with? I think it's unfair. What do you think can be done about it?


ok.crows
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Dear ok crows,

I have a shampoo for your boys. Ever heard of jism? Rub large amounts in and watch those follicles squeal with delight.
 
Originally posted by Santos L Helper


Dear ok crows,

I have a shampoo for your boys. Ever heard of jism? Rub large amounts in and watch those follicles squeal with delight.
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Dear Mr. S. L. Helper

We will be considering issuing legal proceedings against you as our clients (Mr. Hird and Mr. Lloyd) have a patent on the use of "jism" as shampoo. Please refrain from promoting "jism" as shampoo.

Sue, Grabbit, and Runn
lawyers
 
Dear Santos,

I'm one confused boy. Recently my CD collection of AC/DC, Metallica, Soundgarden and Tool has been replaced by Kylie, Maddison Avenue and Britney..

Instead of deriving pleasure out of kicking a ball in anger, punching a punching bag and shirtfronting a opponent, I now get turned on by picking up a bargain on Chapel St and the many fine fashion houses of Melbourne..

To top it off my feelings and attraction for girls such as Shannon Elizabeth, Brooke Burke and that fine piece off the cartoon show have been replaced by the stunning sex appeal of Stunning Steve McKee...

I'm worried, any suggestions?
 

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Dear Santos,

I feel that BigFooty's elite group of posters don't really respect me. This is acting as a daily dagger to the heart (replacing the dagger of not being invited to the "BigFooty meet up").

Why don't elite posters such as DCFC, Hitman and yourself respect me? Please I need to know cause I really want to change.

Rocco Jones.
 
Originally posted by Shinboners


Dear Mr. S. L. Helper

We will be considering issuing legal proceedings against you as our clients (Mr. Hird and Mr. Lloyd) have a patent on the use of "jism" as shampoo. Please refrain from promoting "jism" as shampoo.

Sue, Grabbit, and Runn
lawyers
Click to expand...

Laywers...hehe, I've dealt with your types before and I bet you guys can't even get it up.
 
Originally posted by Rohan_
Dear Santos,

I'm one confused boy. Recently my CD collection of AC/DC, Metallica, Soundgarden and Tool has been replaced by Kylie, Maddison Avenue and Britney..

Instead of deriving pleasure out of kicking a ball in anger, punching a punching bag and shirtfronting a opponent, I now get turned on by picking up a bargain on Chapel St and the many fine fashion houses of Melbourne..

To top it off my feelings and attraction for girls such as Shannon Elizabeth, Brooke Burke and that fine piece off the cartoon show have been replaced by the stunning sex appeal of Stunning Steve McKee...

I'm worried, any suggestions?
Click to expand...

Dear Rohan,

My diagnosis is schizophrenia. So why don't the both of you **** off then?

;)
 
Originally posted by Rocco Jones
Dear Santos,

I feel that BigFooty's elite group of posters don't really respect me. This is acting as a daily dagger to the heart (replacing the dagger of not being invited to the "BigFooty meet up").

Why don't elite posters such as DCFC, Hitman and yourself respect me? Please I need to know cause I really want to change.

Rocco Jones.
Click to expand...

Dear Rocco Jones,

Stop your whining you sissy and get out there and prove you are worthy.
I suggest that you get really drunk, bone up on your Star Wars knowledge and argue about the fact that the minor premier is disadvantaged by the current AFL finals system.

People love drunk nerds.
 
Originally posted by Santos L Helper


Dear Rocco Jones,

Stop your whining you sissy and get out there and prove you are worthy.
I suggest that you get really drunk, bone up on your Star Wars knowledge and argue about the fact that the minor premier is disadvantaged by the current AFL finals system.

People love drunk nerds.
Click to expand...


LMAO, great call.

This thread has the potential to become the second greatest thread on BigFooty of all time (Jod's thread wins for obivous reasons).

In the words of Mike Tyson, Santos "I take my hand off to you".
 
Dear Santos,

I went to a private school, yet still can't get you're and your right. I live in the shadow of a couple of footballing legends, and cannot live up to my name.

Where have I gone wrong?

Klueless in Kew.

The Hitman
 
Dear Santos
I'm having a bad day, I've had a thread deleted, have been called an Eagles supporter and now a Hawks supporter. This girl, lets call her S has been picking on me. What should I do?;) :p
 
Dear Santos,

I am a aspiring Journo but I think I have to get thicker glasses so I can truly look like Gerald Whateley. I'm undecided, should I do this or cater for the many adoring female fans that are turned on by my Harry Potter qualities and leave myself as is.

I am also confused by my dress sense. I think wearing football boots to a footy match is sexy but the chicks don't dig. What shall I do?

Dumb in Dandy!
 

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Dear Santos,

I seem to have this shadow that won't go away. Even at night time with no lights, it is there, pestering me in a girly annoying voice. While the shadow is very short, it seems to talk big. The divide is big, big enough for the sun to shine out...

Anyway, the shadow is rarely seen, but often heard. Isn't that the opposite of the famous saying?

Yours sincerely,

Harry

The Hitman
 
Originally posted by Rocco Jones



LMAO, great call.

This thread has the potential to become the second greatest thread on BigFooty of all time (Jod's thread wins for obivous reasons).
Click to expand...

WRONG, PC28's Bar & Grill is the greatest thread on BF. :mad:
 
Originally posted by Sly77
The prob is that he only rates my friend a 6 out of 10....she is now distraught.
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*yells* ROHAN!!!!!!!

Anyway, my scale is quite harsh, Sly. Six is very good. :)

8's, 9's and 10's are nearly impossible to get on my scale. :p

Change teams however.....
 

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Dear Santos,

What is the meaning of life? And how will Carlton go next year? My girlfriend is also a Blues supporter, and I have seen her go through so much pain (due to obvious reasons), and I don't want that to happen anymore. What does future have in store for us?

Regards,

Thrawn
 
Unfortunately I am announcing the closure of my clinic for the present. My step-father passed away suddenly and unexpectedly this evening and I'm not really in the frame of mind for hilarity.
Out of respect, I would like no more questions to be added and I'm sorry to disappoint those awaiting enlightenment from 'Dear Santos'.

thanks.
 

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