Certified Legendary Thread Delusional Pearlers IV

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Bjchan13 said:
I'll confess, i had a look at him on Facebook. He actually works at fox footy
. He looks like the type that would be very comfortable behind a keyboard. Not so much without
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He was probably responsible for that garbage ‘highlights’ package they put together for his 200th last year
 

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Falcon27 said:
Yeah haven't they got the most spoons now of anyone?
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St Kilda has won the most wooden spoons of any existing AFL team, with 27. Its most recent wooden spoon came in 2014. This is followed up by North Melbourne, with 14 wooden spoons.
 
HirdyLannister said:
Disagree, when a team has no other avenue to goal McKay gets majority of the ball kicked to him. Just like Daniher for us when he kicked 65goals in a season.
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Daniher had Hooker kicking 40 that year right next to him, he was hardly the sole target.
 
Kyptastic said:
Daniher had Hooker kicking 40 that year right next to him, he was hardly the sole target.
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yep, daniher could fly higher than an eagle, but Hooker was the wind beneath his wings.
 

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Didn’t want to post this in the Cale Hooker thread but did anyone see this guys tweet about Hooker? Has since made his account private because everyone ripped into him 0A76AA95-8BB1-438D-89D9-0DBD8207BD33.jpeg
 
Hamez said:
Didn’t want to post this in the Cale Hooker thread but did anyone see this guys tweet about Hooker? Has since made his account private because everyone ripped into himView attachment 1209292
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Basically asked the Swamp on twitter how many players have had more drug suspensions than finals wins
 
Was searching Hooker to read what opposition posters thought of his retirement and came across this absolute gem


Given that this is not in general a thread for reasonable discussion, people need to cool their jets a bit when discussing their prospects. People are behaving as though they're suddenly super young, when in reality they've been setting themselves for this particular tilt for a while.

Their top players this year are Parish (24), Wright (24), Merrett (25), Stringer (27), Hind (26), Stewart (27), Tippa (28), Smith (28), Shiel (28), Heppell (29), Hurley (31), and Hooker (32). They can talk up Laverde's year as much as they like; he's playing as an unaccountable third tall beside two of their oldest and most experienced KPP.

Harrison Jones is averaging 7.3 disposals, 1.3 tackles and 1.3 goals a game; the goal average is something to look at, but as a medium forward he's lead up. He's not big enough to challenge a proper KPD, nor is he fast enough to beat them straight line; he's a clever footballer, and while they have their place they're always a chance to go through a game goalless or possessionless. Archie Perkins, for all the dare of his play, averages 12.2 disposals and 2.2 tackles a game as a HFF/midfielder; he's young (the three players everyone's raging about are) so he has every chance to improve on those numbers, but they aren't screaming AFL quality, either.

We finally get to the unicorn himself, Nick Cox. Nick's tall, in case you haven't heard; he's built like a giraffe. He's a midfielder. My issue with him - as, in general, with most hybrids - is that while he's fast and agile, it's for his size not his position. Nick Cox is not faster than Andrew Gaff, he's not got better skills than him, he's not more agile than him. What he is is taller. Cox is averaging 12.9 disposals, 2.4 tackles as a utility, but mainly on the wing or manning a 3rd tall down back. That's hardly gamebreaking, and the real problem is this; his best attribute is his speed, agility and ball handling for his size, the former of the two are endangered if you bulk him up some. And if you don't get some muscle onto him, he's going to get out-muscled by other talls. So, there's a quandry there: do you keep what he does well and let him be a jack of all trades (which entails that he cannot truly beat the best KPP or smalls) or do you change him into a conventional tall, and if you did that why'd you pick the unicorn in the first place?

Hooker and Hurley are on their last legs, and they've Wright and Stewart to compensate at either end. Wright's done okay in his first year at his new club; how's he going to go without Hooker? How's Laverde going to go if Stewart goes down and he has to sit Harry McKay, Charlie Dixon, Tom Hawkins? Plowman could manhandle Cox if they put him forward to have a matchup, much less Jones.

Then you have a look a little deeper. Heppell's struggling to stay on the field. So is Shiel. Smith has played 1 full season in his entire career, Stringer 2. Stewart is being held together with some ducttape and a fencing pole. Laverde's done well given that it's come out of the blue; wonder how he'll go without help and/or now that people know the jig a little better? And it isn't as though he hasn't had his own troubles with injury, either. Wright's had a good year - note, the word here is good, not great; he's performed on an acceptable level, as did Mitch Brown on less coin a few years back - but it's really his first reasonable year ever; can he back it up? Merrett and Parish are the only ones from that list who you could call durable.

Then, you've got their second tier: Langford, Redman, Snelling, Clarke, Draper, McGrath. Some will object to me putting Draper and McGrath in here, but those people would be wrong. For all that McGrath has terrific AFL traits, he's essentially just a straight line player. The best mids all have a kind of 360 degree awareness that allows them to know if they're being tackles; McGrath doesn't have that, and because he doesn't have that he's never going to be more than a wing, and even then that's if he has a very intelligent coach. He could still be a very good player; just, he's not going to be that in/out gun mid.

Draper is legitimately the most overhyped player in the competition. He's big and aggressive and he plays for Essendon so of course he was always going to be the next big thing. Firstly, he's a ruckman and a ruck's contribution to the game is overemphasized in the first place, and secondly he concedes free kicks because - and this is my real issue here - he's distractable. His entire game is getting in a good ruck's face and smashing into them. His job as a ruckman, though, is to give his team first use, not to bludgeon his direct opponent as often and as legally as he can. If you want to beat him, talk sh*t at him and distract him and he's done for the day. You're guaranteed first use and they're left with an angry big bloke with sh*t hair.

I rate Redman, because he flies under the radar a bit. He's essentially pre Geelong Zac Tuohy. Snelling is Newnes but shitter. I have less memories of Clarke than I do my last bowel movement. Langford's a bit like Jack Silvagni, in that he's underrated. Send him into the middle and he'll win you a clearance, put him up forward and he'll give you a target, put him behind the ball and he'll fu** it up but look extremely frustrated while doing it. He's a bandaid you can put on any given problem, and he'll give his best to sometimes surprising results.

The key here is: this is a list in prime age to contend. They have a whole bunch of players who are genuinely into their prime years, and as a team they're underachieving as much as we are. On the basis of list demographics, they should be sitting roundabout 6th+ on the ladder; on the basis of output, they're exciting to watch but extremely disappointing. They're somewhat lucky to be able to pull Hind, Laverde out of cloth and have them compensate for where they're weak, and to have Wright play so well for the first time in his career, but make no mistake: Essendon are not going to get that much improvement out of their current 22. Perkins and Jones are the ones to watch there, and two players do not make a team.
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For those who can’t be bothered reading highlights are:

- Laverde playing unaccountable 3rd tall next to Hurley and Stewart.

- Cox/Perkins/Jones are overhyped

- McGrath will always be a B grade wingman

- Ridley doesn’t exist

- Draper is too “distractable” not even sure that’s a word

There’s plenty more.
 
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