Health Depression

[Tulip]

Feel for you guys, I really do. I had a really bad period 5 or so years ago and got through it. Hope you guys do the same.

I never, however, got over my anxiety and magical thinking (wiki link) that's been running my life for a while now.

Really hard to tell what's real and what isn't during the moment

Anyone else had it?

 

[the fly]

I can identify with a lot of people who have posted in this thread. I've recently turned 30, but I've found myself feeling trapped from moving on in my life for as long as I can remember.

Social anxiety is a major problem with me. I don't really have a circle of friends outside of the people I talk to when I go to Swans and Mariners games, and occasionally go out in an attempt to rectify that, but when I do, I nearly always end up doing laps of the pub and not talking to people which essentially defeats the purpose of going out in the first place.

My mental issues contributed to me hitting the wall in university, and instead of getting the degree that I was working towards, I eventually dropped out (and probably would have been excluded anyway) and am now working 20 hours a week on average in a shitty job, and am still yet to leave home, partly due to the belief that I can't live independently on what I'm currently earning.

Some guys on here have talked about the support that they get from their significant others, but I can't because I've never been in a proper relationship.

 

[BarneyBent]

I can identify with a lot of people who have posted in this thread. I've recently turned 30, but I've found myself feeling trapped from moving on in my life for as long as I can remember.

Social anxiety is a major problem with me. I don't really have a circle of friends outside of the people I talk to when I go to Swans and Mariners games, and occasionally go out in an attempt to rectify that, but when I do, I nearly always end up doing laps of the pub and not talking to people which essentially defeats the purpose of going out in the first place.

My mental issues contributed to me hitting the wall in university, and instead of getting the degree that I was working towards, I eventually dropped out (and probably would have been excluded anyway) and am now working 20 hours a week on average in a shitty job, and am still yet to leave home, partly due to the belief that I can't live independently on what I'm currently earning.

Some guys on here have talked about the support that they get from their significant others, but I can't because I've never been in a proper relationship.

I've suffered from social anxiety. Not quite the same experience as you, mine was mainly through school, and I was able to overcome it to an extent at uni, though I'm still very insular and tend to stick to a very small but tight group of friends, and my girlfriend, who is even more anxious! I still find it a huge effort to socialise, and tend to shy away from social events where I'm not 100% comfortable, but I'm much better than I used to be.

On that note, want some advice? Go back to uni. As a mature age student, you won't have the same pressures to socialise with other students (in fact, they won't want anything to do with you). You should be able to complete your degree. That in itself which be a huge confidence booster.

Get a degree, get a better job, find your own place, get all that stuff sorted before you try to tackle the problem itself. You need to set your life up around you so that it is as conducive as possible to acquiring and maintaining relationships. Doing laps of the pub isn't going to do you any good if you're not going to be able to talk to anybody, and you don't have the know-how, life structure, and even genuine inclination to maintain any contact that is initiated.

The other thing you've got to remember, once you've got other parts of your life sorted out and you try to be more active in socialising, is that all those things you worry about, all the conversations that could turn out disastrously, they aren't actually real. Nobody gives a shit. You try to talk to a girl and screw it up? Big deal. Do you realise how many guys do that on a regular basis? Maybe you're particularly bad at it. So what? Nobody is going to know your fail rate but you. Keep trying, and you'll get better.

And don't tell yourself that you just lack social ability. You seem perfectly comfortable talking to people at footy games. You just don't have the confidence to be social in a setting that you're not totally comfortable with. That's fine, it's understandable, but you can also overcome it, which is the important part. I was similar, at school I was really comfortable talking to people, I was well-liked, on the quiet side but more or less normal, but I couldn't/didn't have the courage to translate any of those relationships to outside of school and actually build on them. Only when moving to college, and so my home and social lives were basically forced together, did I actually start to be able to socialise more regularly.

Finally, something I know I've worried about is explaining to any new friends why I seem to have had such a sparse social life previously. I discovered that it's amazing how open and understanding people are when you say, "Oh, I was dealing with some stuff, I was getting a bit anxious and withdrawn for a while there, but I'm getting things together now". People don't think you're a freak, they often actually find it interesting and endearing. I'm not sure if that's a concern for you, but it was for me.

Sorry, bit of a rant, but I'm procrastinating (have an exam in 7 hours, appropriately enough on abnormal psychology). Hope you can take something from it!

 

[stuart27]

This is a snapshot of my head space to put things in perspective...

Last year, when my depression was at it's worst, it feel like everyone began warming to me (Things like being elected School captain and such). But now, as I'm having a good patch, it feels like being happy has made me more secluded somehow, and that people seem to like me more when I'm depressed.

The irony being, that just makes me depressed thinking about how I feel I fit in more when I'm depressed.

It's a catch 22. People with depression can sometimes be much more extroverted than usual amongst groups, as a coping mechanism and a way of compensating.

I know that before I was first diagnosed, I was quite popular, and the 'funny' one in the group. The highs were higher but the lows were devastating. When I've felt better, I've resigned myself a bit more and it's had some effect on my standing in the group. End result, though, is the highs are lower, but the lows are higher, and that's better for me.

Personally, I've still got a long LONG way to go, but dealing with that kind of thing helps.

 

[Upgrayedd]

I just had a major swing recently, All to do with a shitty ex girlfriend bringing up unresolved issues when she was drunk which put me into a bad headspace bringing up stupid shitty feelings. Started feeling very stressed at work just having crap running through my head and heading into easter

Girlfriend started pulling the piss out of me in a shop in the city and i threw my keys at her and told her im walking home, Took me about 3-4 days to really get my head out of the ****

Then basically i no showed to open my shop up 2 days later when we were expecting a visit from the CEO of the company (one of the part timers came in and worked a 13 hour shift) and none of the regional guys are too happy with me (I dont disclose my illness to people in public/half my friends/workplace)

Again, i've found the best cure is to buckle down, play about 2-3 hours of basketball a day just on a half court and im usually fine, exercise just does it for me

 

[the fly]

Go back to uni. As a mature age student, you won't have the same pressures to socialise with other students (in fact, they won't want anything to do with you). You should be able to complete your degree. That in itself which be a huge confidence booster.

I'm not sure if it's the right time to go back to uni. It may have been 2 and a half years since I was there, but I just didn't want to be there in that last semester, and ended up getting something like 15% in the only subject that I took. In my current state, I can't see anything being different if I was to come back.

 

[nicky]

I'm not sure if it's the right time to go back to uni. It may have been 2 and a half years since I was there, but I just didn't want to be there in that last semester, and ended up getting something like 15% in the only subject that I took. In my current state, I can't see anything being different if I was to come back.

Are you seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist and or are you on anti depressants?

You should try st johns wort.

 

[BarneyBent]

I'm not sure if it's the right time to go back to uni. It may have been 2 and a half years since I was there, but I just didn't want to be there in that last semester, and ended up getting something like 15% in the only subject that I took. In my current state, I can't see anything being different if I was to come back.

Perhaps not right now, but I think it's definitely something you should aim for.

 

[CLUBMEDhurst]

I can identify with a lot of people who have posted in this thread. I've recently turned 30, but I've found myself feeling trapped from moving on in my life for as long as I can remember.

Social anxiety is a major problem with me. I don't really have a circle of friends outside of the people I talk to when I go to Swans and Mariners games, and occasionally go out in an attempt to rectify that, but when I do, I nearly always end up doing laps of the pub and not talking to people which essentially defeats the purpose of going out in the first place.

My mental issues contributed to me hitting the wall in university, and instead of getting the degree that I was working towards, I eventually dropped out (and probably would have been excluded anyway) and am now working 20 hours a week on average in a shitty job, and am still yet to leave home, partly due to the belief that I can't live independently on what I'm currently earning.

Some guys on here have talked about the support that they get from their significant others, but I can't because I've never been in a proper relationship.

I feel for you, Fly. Social anxiety is a really debilitating problem, but also one that can be treated. I'd suggest you see a GP about getting a referral to a psychologist (covered by medicare rebate) or a psychiatrist as well, depending on your current mood. Because of the nature of social anxiety, people can be terrified of one-on-one appointments. There are now several online options for psychotherapy.

The University NSW has a virtual clinic
http://www.crufad.org/

Here's another that might help
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/online-therapy/

Good luck with your recovery Fly

 

[stuart27]

I just had a major swing recently, All to do with a shitty ex girlfriend bringing up unresolved issues when she was drunk which put me into a bad headspace bringing up stupid shitty feelings. Started feeling very stressed at work just having crap running through my head and heading into easter

Girlfriend started pulling the piss out of me in a shop in the city and i threw my keys at her and told her im walking home, Took me about 3-4 days to really get my head out of the ****

Then basically i no showed to open my shop up 2 days later when we were expecting a visit from the CEO of the company (one of the part timers came in and worked a 13 hour shift) and none of the regional guys are too happy with me (I dont disclose my illness to people in public/half my friends/workplace)

Again, i've found the best cure is to buckle down, play about 2-3 hours of basketball a day just on a half court and im usually fine, exercise just does it for me

I had exactly the same situation a couple of weeks ago, rugby helped me through it. Good idea.

 

[Power King]

Are you seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist and or are you on anti depressants?

You should try st johns wort.

Not without knowing his medical history first. SJW interacts with a lot of significant meds. By all means it's an option that might help but don't just blindly tell someone to try it. Come on Nicky.

 

[nicky]

Come on PK, I don't need to when i have the fairy of 'know it all' to pick me up when i fcuk up. You really are a know it all annoying person aren't you, i'm trying to help the guy..


Try St john's wort, you can buy it off the shelf in a pharmacy. If you are on any strong medications or the pill then perhaps consult your pharmacist for advice (or power king for more thorough and accurate advice).

 

[jacqui9]

Try St john's wort, you can buy it off the shelf in a pharmacy. If you are on any strong medications or the pill then perhaps consult your pharmacist for advice (or power king for more thorough and accurate advice).

If you are already on antidepressants you can't take it.

 

[nicky]

Of course - i was suggesting this in the absense of anti depressants and as a better alternative.


but mostly i was just offering the guy an idea because he seems distressed and i know of lots of people who have benefitted from them, including myself.

 

[Power King]

Yeah there's no issues with informing people of options, but they should also be aware that there are protocols around initiating/ceasing whatever options they may currently be undertaking in order to ensure safety. I know your heart is in the right place.

and yes I'm an arseh*le.

 

[shibz_1989]

Then basically i no showed to open my shop up 2 days later when we were expecting a visit from the CEO of the company (one of the part timers came in and worked a 13 hour shift) and none of the regional guys are too happy with me (I dont disclose my illness to people in public/half my friends/workplace)

I've always been 50/50 about disclosing my illness to workplaces. The nursing home I worked at were very understanding. It took me almost 6 months before I told them, and it was because I broke down at work.

Maccas - don't even ****ing bother telling them. Some of the managers were alright, the store manager rang me up and demanded to know what was going on (because I had called in sick so many times) then when I told her she informed me she had a business to run. Yeah, thanks a lot bitch. Bet you wouldn't say that to someone with a broken leg.

EDIT: Just got to go to the doctors and I will be down to 5mg

 

[nicky]

Yeah there's no issues with informing people of options, but they should also be aware that there are protocols around initiating/ceasing whatever options they may currently be undertaking in order to ensure safety. I know your heart is in the right place.

and yes I'm an arseh*le.

Yes the protocols...

*jingle tune

Just remember, we all want to have a good time, but there are protocols around everything.

 

[Power King]

Yes the protocols...

*jingle tune

Just remember, we all want to have a good time, but there are protocols around everything.

I'm a bit dumbfounded by your ignorance and disregard to be honest...

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0004531/

Protocols in the world of medicine aren't just there for fun and games, they're there to ensure safety, which is what should be at the heart of any discussion relating to health. In this case, protocols or safe measures to ensure the condition in the above link doesn't occur when commencing, ceasing or as per your post, changing treatment. If it was your parent or child, you seriously wouldn't want their physician to manage them according to best practice guidelines because in your opinion they exist for jingles and fun?

Last word between us is all yours.

 

[shibz_1989]

I got down to 10mg and have not had the time to go back to the doctors. I missed a dose last Friday, then missed another on Saturday and decided maybe to just not take it anymore - I've missed two, may as well just not bother. I feel awful now - maybe I should just stay on them for life?

 

[nicky]

I got down to 10mg and have not had the time to go back to the doctors. I missed a dose last Friday, then missed another on Saturday and decided maybe to just not take it anymore - I've missed two, may as well just not bother. I feel awful now - maybe I should just stay on them for life?

Maybe yes, maybe no, just don't go off them cold turkey because that obviously doesn't work for you - follow your doctors advice regarding coming off them.

 

[BarneyBent]

I got down to 10mg and have not had the time to go back to the doctors. I missed a dose last Friday, then missed another on Saturday and decided maybe to just not take it anymore - I've missed two, may as well just not bother. I feel awful now - maybe I should just stay on them for life?

It's not good to just stop taking SSRIs. Withdrawals can seriously worsen your condition and in some cases can be quite damaging.

See your doctor about weaning yourself off at a pace that suits you, and in the mean time, start taking them again.

Well, that's my advice anyway.

 

[western royboy]

I got down to 10mg and have not had the time to go back to the doctors. I missed a dose last Friday, then missed another on Saturday and decided maybe to just not take it anymore - I've missed two, may as well just not bother. I feel awful now - maybe I should just stay on them for life?

Go easy if you are trying to get off them. It can be done but just do it slowly over time. Take care

 

[Hodgepodge]

I'm coming off my medication at the time with my psychiatrist's supervision, which is important.

Once I weaned myself off my medication, and even though I thought I was doing everything carefully I ended up with some pretty bad anxiety which took some time getting over.

I also had some physical symptoms when I was going through this sudden withdrawal, and I now am wondering if it caused me any lasting brain damage.

 

[drd23]

I got down to 10mg and have not had the time to go back to the doctors. I missed a dose last Friday, then missed another on Saturday and decided maybe to just not take it anymore - I've missed two, may as well just not bother. I feel awful now - maybe I should just stay on them for life?

You should never stop taking SSRIs cold turkey. There can be some significant medical consequences from stopping taking them suddenly (or even from weaning too quickly - ideally it should take months to wean down from a therapeutic dose to nothing).

See your doctor about stopping them if you feel that you dont need them anymore

 

[No_choice]

Having had experience with depression personally, (both myself and my father) and having overcome it years ago by shear fluke...I now run courses for a wide range of people including those suffering from depression.

The first step to overcoming depression is realising your personal responsibility. You choose to have depression, and you can choose to take steps to overcome it.

Once you realise this, then you can take the next steps.
The next steps are realising that Depression gives you something. It gives you connection from people who care about you or from those that also have depression, it gives you significance from others...you need to find the things that depression gives you and replace these with positive stimuli. For example, rather than hug someone when they are depressed, hug them when they are happy or make an effort to be happy. This creates a more effective neurological strategy that aids in overcoming depression.

Every person that claims to have had depression before coming to this course, no longer has depression or anxiety and no longer takes meds. They love life.

But like I said, the first step starts with you. You need to realise that you are in control, and only then can someone help you learn to overcome depression yourself.

There is alot more involved, however I don't want to write a book here and now...