Health Depression

[checkraiseulite]

Some choose to call this introspection. It can be a beneficial thing, not necessarily a burden. Some Greek ****wit once said, "Know thyself."

perception isn't necessarily reality though in this instance.

 

[skilts]

Diagnosed recently. Its been suggested more than once over the years, but I never took the suggestions seriously. One therapy session in and I had no answer for an obvious question, where do I want to get to with it. I don't know.
I don't seem any worse than I have been since childhood, and certainly better than I was for much of that time. The simple fact is I cant answer a question like that, as I have been this way for 30 years and don't know how to be, or what it is like to be, anything else. I had basically assumed everyone was much the same. I knew I tended to be more negative in expectations than many people, but have never really tied that to any sort of emotional state.

Its not that I'm miserable all the time. I just can't maintain an interest in anything (that bit has got worse in recent years but I had largely put that down to age), and don't really understand the idea of "happy" or even "content".

There are people who would kill to even have this question occur to them. Without any qualifications to advise you, and no personal knowledge of you at all, other than this post, it is possible that you have misunderstood the nature of the issue. Maybe your expectations were too positive, meaning that they were always going to be left unrealised, and a source of disappointment? As I said, I don't know you, nor your situation, but this may be worthy of some consideration.

The pursuit of 'happiness' is fraught, ephemeral, transient and unknowable at its achievement. A realistic encounter with 'what is', as displayed in your post, is far more likely. Build on your undoubted strengths.

 

[skilts]

perception isn't necessarily reality though in this instance.

'Perception' and 'reality' are terms I rarely, if ever, use. I find them both meaningless.

 

[TheFreshBanana]

Your perception is your reality. Quoted by me. Just googled it, apparently no

 

[TheFreshBanana]

Huge props to anybody willing to share their story on this forum.

For those who are willing to answer, I am curious to ask a few questions where relevant:

How was the diagnosis of depression made? How long did it take, what tests were run, etc.
It probably took less than a year of my depressive state to get help. After I cut myself with scissors, my parents saw me and we agreed to go see a GP. This was when I was 17/18. But I remember a few times during my teens, that I had a few bouts of very very low moods, that probably would have been signs of depression. My parents always said I was pretty moody and miserable some of the time, and I do remember feeling this way, but put it down more to teenage angst against my parents tbh.

How skeptical were/are you about psychology/psychiatry/pharmaceuticals etc?
I don't ever remember being skeptical. I just felt shit and after my first session talking about it with my psychologist, I felt that it helped. So I was never skeptical about it helping. I was always anxious before sessions, because I was worried I wouldn't have anything to talk about, which to my surprise, there was always too much to talk about. And my depression got to the point where I just couldn't cognitively function, so I was more than "happy (lol)" to be prescribed anti-depressants.

What improvement (if any) have you noticed on medication?
Not on medication now. I only took them for maybe 6 months, even a little less than that? But after the first initial 2 weeks, I felt major change. I describe it as a sort of fog lifting, like I could think a lot clearly and my mood lifted, not to happy, but just not severely depressed.

What proportion (if you will) of the treatment recommended to you by your doctor/specialist to treat your diagnosis was/is drug-based and what proportion was non-drug based?
For me, the antidepressants really only worked as a sort of push in the right direction. It still took a lot of counselling and positive training I guess, to kind of get my head straight. Right now, I'm not on them, and I feel fine, not happy, most of the time. There are certain triggers, which I'm aware of, that easily put me back into a depressive mood where I struggle to find the motivation to live.

The reason why I don't currently take it, is because I've been off them for a while now, I know it will take at least 2 weeks for it to kick in. TBH, I'm not sure if I could survive those 2 weeks that it would take me to "recover". This is probably an area I haven't quite figured out yet, or maybe I'm just exaggerating, not sure.

I won't be offended if anybody chooses not to answer any of these questions. I'm sure that to some people they might seem too personal or unreasonable. Cheers to those that do have a crack at them, though.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

There are people who would kill to even have this question occur to them. Without any qualifications to advise you, and no personal knowledge of you at all, other than this post, it is possible that you have misunderstood the nature of the issue. Maybe your expectations were too positive, meaning that they were always going to be left unrealised, and a source of disappointment? As I said, I don't know you, nor your situation, but this may be worthy of some consideration.

The pursuit of 'happiness' is fraught, ephemeral, transient and unknowable at its achievement. A realistic encounter with 'what is', as displayed in your post, is far more likely. Build on your undoubted strengths.

Thank you skilts
The question was raised in the context of whether I was going to continue or not. I suspect she asked the question partly because she could tell I had (and still have) no idea what might be acheived. I suspect "acheived" might be the wrong word in some ways, and to be meaningful the process needs to be ongoing.

I don't have any (conscious?) expectations at this point. My biggest task, at least at the beginning, is probably going to be understanding what is possible and actually siezing on whatever threre is.

 

[timtamWB]

So a question on relapses.

I had a severe battle with depression about 2 years ago, culminating in a 2 week stay in hospital after my (then) best friend found me trying to commit suicide.

Since then i've battled it on and off, but mostly i've been alright. But over the past couple of weeks, i've been losing interest in a lot of things, I can't talk to people normally, I can't socialise, I find it extremely hard to get up and face the day. I can't sleep properly. Basically all the signs leading up to my last bout of depression are resurfacing again.

I fear that i'm heading for a relapse. But I really don't know how to stop it. My best friend isn't talking to me at the moment because I hurt her, my other best friend just doesn't know how to talk about this stuff. All my other friends are either not close, or too new, to ask for help. And I don't want to go to a psychologist again, I had bad experiences with doctors and medication.

What really helped me last time, as stupid as it may sound, was getting a girlfriend and surrounding myself with new positive friends. But seeing as I find it difficult to talk to my friends I honestly can't go out and talk to new people at all.

Does anyone have any advice?

 

[TheFreshBanana]

I think seeing a psychologist would be the best idea. Especially if you don't have anyone to talk to.

Look for other psychologists out there if you have bad experiences with your past ones.

I don't think it sounds stupid. We're social creatures but I think learning to be comfortable by yourself is just as important as being social with others. Just food for thought.

 

[Lost_Deputy]

Look at this thread and its full of of courageous statements with little in the way of encouragement. In no way is this a slant at the support networks of the site but more an accurate snapshot of the disease. Depression is deeply subjective and to dump our issues on others is inefficient. I was hammered by a major depressive episode this year and tried to end it. I didn't. I'm lucky. I'm here to listen which is all I ever wanted from my friends when I was struggling.

 

[timtamWB]

I think seeing a psychologist would be the best idea. Especially if you don't have anyone to talk to.

Look for other psychologists out there if you have bad experiences with your past ones.

I don't think it sounds stupid. We're social creatures but I think learning to be comfortable by yourself is just as important as being social with others. Just food for thought.

It's hard once you have an idea in your head of what a person is like, that whole profession becomes clouded due to your experience with that one person. But I think i'm going to try again thanks

I have heard that before and been told that before. But honestly I just am not happy with myself. I've changed to try to make myself happy with who I am but it just doesn't work at all, and I still end up being miserable with myself. And I don't know how to change that. If you don't know how to love yourself it can be one of the hardest things to achieve.

 

[timtamWB]

Look at this thread and its full of of courageous statements with little in the way of encouragement. In no way is this a slant at the support networks of the site but more an accurate snapshot of the disease. Depression is deeply subjective and to dump our issues on others is inefficient. I was hammered by a major depressive episode this year and tried to end it. I didn't. I'm lucky. I'm here to listen which is all I ever wanted from my friends when I was struggling.

Depression, despite what anyone else says, unfortunately has this negative stigma attached to it. A lot of people don't understand, and are scared of it until they actually go through it, or have someone close to them go through it. I can truly say that I would have though someone with depression was crazy, before I went through it myself, and realised how blind I was towards this disease.

Listening is an underrated tool. Sometimes people don't want advice, they just want someone to be there and just listen, and do nothing else. I'm glad there are people like you that can realise how hard it can be to reach out, or to recant a dark period of your life, and appreciate it.

 

[Lost_Deputy]

Depression, despite what anyone else says, unfortunately has this negative stigma attached to it. A lot of people don't understand, and are scared of it until they actually go through it, or have someone close to them go through it. I can truly say that I would have though someone with depression was crazy, before I went through it myself, and realised how blind I was towards this disease.

Listening is an underrated tool. Sometimes people don't want advice, they just want someone to be there and just listen, and do nothing else. I'm glad there are people like you that can realise how hard it can be to reach out, or to recant a dark period of your life, and appreciate it.

Oath. No judgements. No compliments. no criticism. Just a person who is there. That's the hard stuff

 

[Jay C]

I've intended to post here for a while but never really felt comfortable putting it out there. Tonight though I'm feeling more depressed than normal so I thought why not get it off my chest.

I recently turned 21 and have always been a quiet, introverted guy, I don't really have any mates which basically has meant my social life is non-existent. I know I have social anxiety issues which means I struggle to have conversations with people, which gets me down a fair bit.

Another thing is not having a job and not having any clue what career path I want to take. I have qualifications in accounting which has got me nowhere so I'm thinking about not pursing that line of work any longer.

I have an appointment with a counselor at my employment provider tomorrow so I guess that will tell me where I'm at and the steps I need to take.

Posting this has helped in a way, but still I can't get over the feeling that I don't have much to look forward to in the future and that I'm wasting what should be the best years of my life.

 

[skilts]

I've intended to post here for a while but never really felt comfortable putting it out there. Tonight though I'm feeling more depressed than normal so I thought why not get it off my chest.

I recently turned 21 and have always been a quiet, introverted guy, I don't really have any mates which basically has meant my social life is non-existent. I know I have social anxiety issues which means I struggle to have conversations with people, which gets me down a fair bit.

Another thing is not having a job and not having any clue what career path I want to take. I have qualifications in accounting which has got me nowhere so I'm thinking about not pursing that line of work any longer.

I have an appointment with a counselor at my employment provider tomorrow so I guess that will tell me where I'm at and the steps I need to take.

Posting this has helped in a way, but still I can't get over the feeling that I don't have much to look forward to in the future and that I'm wasting what should be the best years of my life.

I too have little to look forward to. It bothers me little. My expectations have rarely been disappointed.

The issue lies with being bothered about this, and, as a consequence, disappointed. This is where the pain starts.

 

[Jay C]

I too have little to look forward to. It bothers me little. My expectations have rarely been disappointed.

The issue lies with being bothered about this, and, as a consequence, disappointed. This is where the pain starts.

I don't really understand this at all?

How can you expect to go through life with nothing to look forward to? How can someone expect to get through the days, weeks and months if they have no hopes for the future?

Anyway my counselor has confirmed that I have social anxiety and wants to try exposure therapy. While I understand this will probably be difficult I'm hoping it will go someway in helping me get over it.

 

[Matthew2708]

I thought this may be relevant to the thread. It's an interesting view on how depression affects the brain in certain areas.

PET scan of the brain for depression

A PET scan can compare brain activity during periods of depression (left) with normal brain activity (right). An increase of blue and green colors, along with decreased white and yellow areas, shows decreased brain activity due to depression.

 

[dales.girl38]

Small update. I've been needing sleeping pills to sleep every night, on the nights where I've tried to sleep without them, it's taken at least 3 hours to fall asleep and I'll then have a nightmare filled sleep and wake up at least twice during the night. My doctor has switched up my prescription to Fluvoxamine, so that I hopefully don't have the sleeping problems anymore. I get to start them in about 5 days when my current lot run out.

I heard on the radio today that they're saying antidepressants are linked with weight gain and type 2 diabetes. Do you think that it's more a matter of people comfort eating while they're depressed, and that causing the weight gain and diabetes, rather than the antidepressants as such being linked?

 

[nicky]

I don't really understand this at all?

How can you expect to go through life with nothing to look forward to? How can someone expect to get through the days, weeks and months if they have no hopes for the future?

Anyway my counselor has confirmed that I have social anxiety and wants to try exposure therapy. While I understand this will probably be difficult I'm hoping it will go someway in helping me get over it.

It's logical that if you have low expectations then you'll rarely be disappointed. It's like someone getting angry when another car cuts them off. The only reason they're able to get angry is that they aspire to this ideal that the roads should be harmonious heavens. Therefore they feel angry when this ideal is ruined by reality.
If they had the expectation that all other drivers are selfish who will cut you off at the first opportunity they'd not get angry when it happens, and be pleasantly surprised by all the drivers who don't cut them off. Driving would become a pleasurable experience for them.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

I heard on the radio today that they're saying antidepressants are linked with weight gain and type 2 diabetes. Do you think that it's more a matter of people comfort eating while they're depressed, and that causing the weight gain and diabetes, rather than the antidepressants as such being linked?

That is a possibility, unless they had some method of catering for that. Maybe control groups of people with similar depression types and levels who are not on anti-depressants for whatever reason and the effect still showed.
I would expect any reputable study to have such measures before announcing such a finding, and to stress that the findings are preliminary, etc. Unfortunately there are a number of institutes (usually commercially focussed) who do not take proper care when performing studies or announcing findings. Nor does the media tend to report responsibily on things when they are released, or differentiate between the peer reviewed science and the public relations driven findings. The media usually take the easily understood part of a press release and headline with that.

 

[shibz_1989]

Small update. I've been needing sleeping pills to sleep every night, on the nights where I've tried to sleep without them, it's taken at least 3 hours to fall asleep and I'll then have a nightmare filled sleep and wake up at least twice during the night. My doctor has switched up my prescription to Fluvoxamine, so that I hopefully don't have the sleeping problems anymore. I get to start them in about 5 days when my current lot run out.

I heard on the radio today that they're saying antidepressants are linked with weight gain and type 2 diabetes. Do you think that it's more a matter of people comfort eating while they're depressed, and that causing the weight gain and diabetes, rather than the antidepressants as such being linked?

I'm overweight and on desvenafalaxine. I comfort eat...always have. Nothing to do with my medication.

 

[Jay C]

It's logical that if you have low expectations then you'll rarely be disappointed. It's like someone getting angry when another car cuts them off. The only reason they're able to get angry is that they aspire to this ideal that the roads should be harmonious heavens. Therefore they feel angry when this ideal is ruined by reality.
If they had the expectation that all other drivers are selfish who will cut you off at the first opportunity they'd not get angry when it happens, and be pleasantly surprised by all the drivers who don't cut them off. Driving would become a pleasurable experience for them.

I guess it's just hard for me to lower expectations and conform to a defeatist attitude, even though this should leave me less disappointed.

 

[timtamWB]

Small update. I've been needing sleeping pills to sleep every night, on the nights where I've tried to sleep without them, it's taken at least 3 hours to fall asleep and I'll then have a nightmare filled sleep and wake up at least twice during the night. My doctor has switched up my prescription to Fluvoxamine, so that I hopefully don't have the sleeping problems anymore. I get to start them in about 5 days when my current lot run out.

I heard on the radio today that they're saying antidepressants are linked with weight gain and type 2 diabetes. Do you think that it's more a matter of people comfort eating while they're depressed, and that causing the weight gain and diabetes, rather than the antidepressants as such being linked?

When I was on Fluvoxamine, I actually lost weight, because I didn't feel like eating much so stopped eating, and as such lost weight. I think it's more to do with comfort eating, but I wouldn't know i'm not a doctor, so it's just my guess!

If you find that you're gaining weight while on it, and you're unhappy with it, just contact your doctor and tell them, you'll be able to work something out

 

[Power Raid]

It is so refreshing to hear people share the way they feel.

Thanks guys

 

[neroblack]

It's logical that if you have low expectations then you'll rarely be disappointed. It's like someone getting angry when another car cuts them off. The only reason they're able to get angry is that they aspire to this ideal that the roads should be harmonious heavens. Therefore they feel angry when this ideal is ruined by reality.
If they had the expectation that all other drivers are selfish who will cut you off at the first opportunity they'd not get angry when it happens, and be pleasantly surprised by all the drivers who don't cut them off. Driving would become a pleasurable experience for them.

I think I've reached that point where I assume everyone else can't drive properly. Now when someone does something nice/courteous, they get a wave from me.

 

[shibz_1989]

Question...when people are at their lowest, does it feel as if every single bit of your body is in pain?