Health Depression

[Run n Spread]

Question. What do you do if you simply do not have the energy or motivation to fight another battle, solve one of a multitude of problems (that just seem to multiply) or handle basic interaction/functions anymore. Am out of ideas, plans and just can't see any improvements. Also constant trying and failure grounds you down after a while.

Frankly I just don't know where to begin or what the next step is. So how do you just keep the status quo without falling further into a hole?

 

[Jmac2225]

Question. What do you do if you simply do not have the energy or motivation to fight another battle, solve one of a multitude of problems (that just seem to multiply) or handle basic interaction/functions anymore. Am out of ideas, plans and just can't see any improvements. Also constant trying and failure grounds you down after a while.

Frankly I just don't know where to begin or what the next step is. So how do you just keep the status quo without falling further into a hole?

Look mate I'm pretty much where your at in my life right now. I have no idea what to do which way to or how handle things. At times I will just sit and do nothing but panic and worry about my life's issues.

But you simply have to will yourself on and keep moving whether you know you are making the right decisions. Today I moved out of my home that I live in with my 2 girls and now ex fiance into the spare room at my sister-in-laws. This is the last thing in the world I want. But I know I HAVE to keep moving because nothing is going to improve if nothing changes.

 

[toxic]

Look mate I'm pretty much where your at in my life right now. I have no idea what to do which way to or how handle things. At times I will just sit and do nothing but panic and worry about my life's issues.

But you simply have to will yourself on and keep moving whether you know you are making the right decisions. Today I moved out of my home that I live in with my 2 girls and now ex fiance into the spare room at my sister-in-laws. This is the last thing in the world I want. But I know I HAVE to keep moving because nothing is going to improve if nothing changes.

tough move but obviously a move you needed to make for yourself.
Did the same thing 5 years ago, 12 months of heartache and blame, but it does get better
my only advice is don't bottle up your emotions, talk and vent or you'll go mad.
good luck with everything

 

[_Christoh_]

Question. What do you do if you simply do not have the energy or motivation to fight another battle, solve one of a multitude of problems (that just seem to multiply) or handle basic interaction/functions anymore. Am out of ideas, plans and just can't see any improvements. Also constant trying and failure grounds you down after a while.

Frankly I just don't know where to begin or what the next step is. So how do you just keep the status quo without falling further into a hole?

Taking one issue at a time in isolation and looking at them from this simple equation. 1. Can i do something to fix the situation? If yes work out a the best solution and then go do it. If it is out of your control dont invest emotionally in a problem you cant control. The next step is taking control of your emotions. Just because we make a mistake or fail at something does not mean we have to feel bad about it. There is no emotional rule book or happy police. We can choose how we want to feel about situations.

When im faced with a situation or problem i first work out how to feel about it to best deal with the issue. I never choose feeling bad or feeling sorry. I work out what i have control over and what i dont. I then do what i have to so i can move past the issue. Once its dealt with i learn from it, draw a line under it, high five myself for getting shit done and move on from it and only reflect on it to ensure i remember what i learnt. Never feel bad about doing what you have to do to solve an issue if it means you can put a line through it.

One thing i did was to stop doing the things i got enjoyment out of. When we lose motivation to do things we also lose motivation to do the things we like too. When i was depressed i stopped going fishing, stopped goin to the footy stopped goin out for a meal once a week stopped goin out for a drink and stopped seeing my friends. I was trying to figure out why i was so miserable and the biggest problem was me. I was pointing to work, to my partner, to my diet, to my sleep, to my up bringing and all sorts of stuff. Then when you feel shit every god damn bit of crap that you have to deal with just compounds it and makes every problem seem like a mpuntain and then stuff festers. When we dont take time out from that stuff and bury ourselves in doing something we enjoy we cripple underneath it.

Sometimes we focus on why we are depressed and it can.explain some stuff but the answer lies in what am i going to do that makes me happy, what am i going to change that doesnt work for me. Only you can do it and once you start you're already moving forward.

Once i made the decision to act on the things in my life that i wasnt happy with, i was able to get thru the back log of shit i needed to deal with, upset some people i had be honest with, let go of the shit i had no control over and actively sought out things i enjoyed and new experiences i got to a place where i was proud of myself and happy with my place in the world because i dealt with my depression my way. The only commitment you have to make is to yourself and to making change then its time to get to work.

 

[Sebastian Balboa]

Like Jmacc225, I moved out and away from my kids, however my move was interstate. Of course, it's had a huge impact on me but where I've moved to the work opportunities was so much better; now I have a great and good paying job. Still, missing my kids heaps, phone calls don't really do much, will be seeing them over Xmas, though, so looking forward to that.

Had my second session with a psych yesterday and, let me tell you, old mate was hopeless. I won't be going back there again so will just have to wing it.

Being fairly active, I might have overdone the whole personal fitness thing and just going by the symptoms from what I've read I may have mild Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, you wouldn't know it though 'cos I'm a picture of health. Will see a GP about this.

Sorry to keep rambling but this may have been touched on before... After many years of marriage, I think the lack of a regular, steady girlfriend may be contributing to my state. Maybe after being together throughout my 20s and 30s (early 40s now) that that conditioned me to needing a companion. Just struggling with that at the moment.

 

[raskolnikov]

The 20s was the worst decade of my life. IMO life gets better as you get older. I'm in my 40s now and extremely content with my life. I used to dread getting older but in a way I now welcome it. As long as you plan properly for it middle age is great without any of the hassles facing younger people.

 

[timtamWB]

When I'm out with people, then I want to be home and just chilling out by myself. When I'm at home I feel lonely and want to hang out with other people. I get jealous of people who go out partying all the time, but I absolutely hate parties.

Anyone have any ideas on how to change that sort of mindset?

 

[Mitchell Madness]

When I'm out with people, then I want to be home and just chilling out by myself. When I'm at home I feel lonely and want to hang out with other people. I get jealous of people who go out partying all the time, but I absolutely hate parties.

Anyone have any ideas on how to change that sort of mindset?

It's social anxiety
There isn't really a hell of a lot you can do, other then slowly accustom yourself to it, such as an hr out one night a week, then 2 hrs and so forth

 

[WCErevival]

Maybe hang out in smaller situations.

 

[rocker_oz33]

Yeah smaller situations/crowds is a good idea.Maybe something you enjoy like gong to the footy or seeing a band etc.

 

[timtamWB]

It's social anxiety
There isn't really a hell of a lot you can do, other then slowly accustom yourself to it, such as an hr out one night a week, then 2 hrs and so forth

I think that might be the problem, I tend to go in bursts of 3 or 4 days out, and it's probably a bad idea. It's hard when your best friend lives 45 minutes away and doesn't drive though... But I'll try to scale it back a bit and then accustom myself to it, thanks

Maybe hang out in smaller situations.

I usually do, it's mostly just me and maximum 4 other people. But usually just me and 1 or 2 others, and usually just at their house, or on a road trip somewhere.

 

[timtamWB]

Yeah smaller situations/crowds is a good idea.Maybe something you enjoy like gong to the footy or seeing a band etc.

Two of the things I love doing Think i might frequent the pub scene a bit more with some mates and see how it goes.

Thanks for the replies guys, New Years always comes with depression for a lot of people I've found. It's good to have people who are willing to give advice

 

[CLUBMEDhurst]

Two of the things I love doing Think i might frequent the pub scene a bit more with some mates and see how it goes.

Thanks for the replies guys, New Years always comes with depression for a lot of people I've found. It's good to have people who are willing to give advice

Do you find that you become increasingly anxious when in those social situations (or prior to attending)?

 

[timtamWB]

Do you find that you become increasingly anxious when in those social situations (or prior to attending)?

It really depends on the situation and the people. If it's with one of my two best friends, I usually don't feel anxious, unless it's an actual party or similar. But if it's not with them I usually feel anxious, and it'll be worse beforehand, but usually not anxious during the actual event. Unless I feel like I don't fit in, in which case I find it hard to think, sometimes hard to breathe or to talk and usually have to go outside for a bit.

 

[CLUBMEDhurst]

It really depends on the situation and the people. If it's with one of my two best friends, I usually don't feel anxious, unless it's an actual party or similar. But if it's not with them I usually feel anxious, and it'll be worse beforehand, but usually not anxious during the actual event. Unless I feel like I don't fit in, in which case I find it hard to think, sometimes hard to breathe or to talk and usually have to go outside for a bit.

What sorta thoughts're goin' through your mind that increase the anxiety?

 

[rocker_oz33]

I am sure there plenty of pubs in Melbourne that have that nice mix of busy with a chilled vide or somewhere to chill.Before heading into the crowd maybe something like going to get a coffee at one of the late night coffee places then going into the theeth of the fire.

 

[timtamWB]

What sorta thoughts're goin' through your mind that increase the anxiety?

What am I going to say to make it feel like I belong?
Why am I even here, I don't fit in.
It feels like my friends prefer everyone else here to me.
I'm not as good as everyone else here, everything to them is so easy and to me it's so much harder.

You know, the general sort of things that people with anxiety think about.

 

[CLUBMEDhurst]

What am I going to say to make it feel like I belong?
Why am I even here, I don't fit in.
It feels like my friends prefer everyone else here to me.
I'm not as good as everyone else here, everything to them is so easy and to me it's so much harder.

You know, the general sort of things that people with anxiety think about.

Check this out Timtam, hopefully there's some useful stuff (it's jargon free as well)

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=40

 

[nicky]

When I'm out with people, then I want to be home and just chilling out by myself. When I'm at home I feel lonely and want to hang out with other people. I get jealous of people who go out partying all the time, but I absolutely hate parties.

Anyone have any ideas on how to change that sort of mindset?

Go to things that are more suitable for you - OR, just hang out one on one with people. As much as i love a good party i can often not be in the mood and prefer one on ones or small groups.

 

[Caesar]

Just going to throw this in here, see if there's anyone who wants to join in:

http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/learn-a-new-skill-in-2013.985206/

I had mixed results last year, but it was definitely worth doing.

 

[Stratton_Gun]

This thread (although I haven't read all of it) has really opened my eyes about how many people have been going through shit. Like most, I feel down at some stages but I've never seriously thought about killing myself or anything. Hope you all get better soon

 

[rocker_oz33]

My Nan used to say your health is your wealth.But I reckon being happy is up there too.

 

[SuperCats9]

Not sure if I've ever suffered from depression but I do have a few days here and there when I'm pretty down and think 'I can't do this'. Never thought of killing myself or anything like that though.

Just the daily life demands sometimes get to me, work, money, sports etc

But yeah, hope you guys stay strong and keep positive.


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[BarneyBent]

Not sure if I've ever suffered from depression but I do have a few days here and there when I'm pretty down and think 'I can't do this'. Never thought of killing myself or anything like that though.

Just the daily life demands sometimes get to me, work, money, sports etc

But yeah, hope you guys stay strong and keep positive.


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Yeah, that's not unusual. That said, don't fall into the trap of thinking that because the odd day or two every now and then is normal, that feeling like that for a week or a month or even longer is normal. Keep an eye on it, don't just accept it!

 

[SuperCats9]

Yeah, that's not unusual. That said, don't fall into the trap of thinking that because the odd day or two every now and then is normal, that feeling like that for a week or a month or even longer is normal. Keep an eye on it, don't just accept it!

I am keeping an eye on it, I'll know if it starts getting worse, and I'll do something about it straight away. I'm happy most of the time with life, it's probably a few days every month I'll feel down, I'd say that's pretty normal for most people.


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