Health Depression

[Bush_Chook]

There is no easy cure, however there are steps you can take to help combat it. I'll offer some advice that has certainly increased my resilience and helped me recover to a large degree:
1) Change your definition of happiness.
When we tend to think of happiness, we chase more of that 'feeling good'/euphoric mindset. The problem with chasing this 'happiness' when we feel depressed, is that it is only a temporary feeling, and soon after feeling it, this happiness vanishes, leaving us in our depressed state. The best action you can take is to change your definition of happiness. For the Greeks happiness wasn't a feeling or a mindset, it was a life lived with virtue, spent chasing pursuits that would maximize your self worth- character building in a way. Happiness comes from reviewing your progress daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.

You might say that it's difficult to live virtuously, chase pursuits and measure self progress with the demands of everyday life, but a pursuit doesn't have to be some goliath task or hobby! Waking up 5 minutes early and appreciating the sunrise each morning, attempting to live more in the moment, heck, even drinking one less beer. These all serve to reinforce willpower, build character and self-worth. If you're able to put your head on the pillow that night and say you've done at least 1 task, regardless of the size, you've just improved yourself and made progress in your life. These small, seemingly insignificant tasks act a bit like a workout on your mind, it develops resilience, habit, and you'll find slowly, but surely that the negative thoughts will start to lessen.

2) Find purpose in your life.
Having a cornerstone to anchor yourself against will help you to find meaning in your life, and give you something to fall back on when things get tough. For some people this is religion, a life philosophy, helping others, or it may be something completely different. For me personally, I use a mixture of religion, and a life philosophy called Stoicism. Not going to blow my own trumpet, but stoicism is great mate, you should give it a try. It's the belief in developing self control, and resilience, that help in overcoming negative, destructive emotions. Perhaps the best analogy I have for it is a rock on the beach. That rock is you. The waves coming in and out? Your emotions. Stoicism teaches you how to be the rock, unmoving and untouched. When you get good at Stoicism, your emotions come and go but they have no overall impact on you (trust me, this helps with depression). If you're interested, i'd suggest reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, there's a good modern translation available on amazon by Gregory Hays. There's also loads of good youtube videos on the topic.

Hope these points help you as much as they've helped me,
Chookie.

 

[EFL Boy]

Got knocked back from being an Au Pair overseas today because I've been taking medication for depression the past 5 years & it's not in the agency's best interests & I'm a risk to the program. The woman on the phone "It can be really hard being away from home & can be very stressful at times".

All of this even though I've been working overseas at a summer camp the previous 4 years & the family I was going to be an Au Pair for, I have been working with at said camp.

Good to see the Mental Health stigma is alive & well.

 

[Perth gal]

Got knocked back from being an Au Pair overseas today because I've been taking medication for depression the past 5 years & it's not in the agency's best interests & I'm a risk to the program. The woman on the phone "It can be really hard being away from home & can be very stressful at times".

All of this even though I've been working overseas at a summer camp the previous 4 years & the family I was going to be an Au Pair for, I have been working with at said camp.

Good to see the Mental Health stigma is alive & well.

That really sucks. I hope you get another job soon.

 

[Rooz90]

Currently going through a rough patch as well. Into my second job in 3 years and really struggling to find my bearing, feet and settle in. Anxiety gets the better of me and I often over think and dig myself into a whirl wind of paranoia about my performance. Not sleeping well as thoughts of the next day scares me. I tend to always see myself as a failure so anything I do I always think "I'm not going to be good enough"

Because I live at home people would think "I have it easy"! I don't I've always hated myself in every aspect; looks, personality, work ethic you name it I disliked! Just recently I started to see a psychologist and they started to show me ways to help me improve my outlook on life.
This was tough because while living at home my folks never understood 'mental illness' and what I was going through, this would often brush it under the rug and not provide any assistance. This made me distant from my folks as they would not comprehend how much I was struggling.

 

[Upgrayedd]

For what it's worth, anyone at uni stage feeling the weight of the world needs to breathe, relax, and understand it's a long, long race this life thing.

I have a mate who spent 7 years getting a three year degree, and he's currently earning $180k, building his dream house in a nice suburb for his wife and three awesome kids.

Another close friend took 3 years to complete year 12, ****** up Uni, and has been in a great job that he loves for 15 years since, owns his house and is marrying his fiancé this spring.

I know this doesn't "fix" what's happening for you, but I promise you - at uni you are YOUNG. It doesn't feel like it, but if you're not doing something you can't take back (having a kid, major crime, drugs, etc), you're also not screwing up your life. There's a million ways to have a great one and very few are "ruined" so early.

Take it easy. Fail some shit. Get into and out of some dud relationships. Drink too much. Rent a shitty house. Have a shitty roommate. It's living, and you'll survive it, and you'll be ok. I get how much it can feel like THIS IS IT and I'M LOSING or I CAN'T DO IT... But you can because damn near all of us can, and do. It might not be to script, but you'll be ok.

Huge

Just copped results back, Failed 2 of the maths pathways in my course. Will have to re-do, pushing my course out to 3.5 years instead of 3. However missed a month because i broke my leg in week 3, I was shattered because i feel like i actually tried

Really wanted to just quit, but even if it takes me 4 years, will finish it

 

[Faz 2000]

Huge

Just copped results back, Failed 2 of the maths pathways in my course. Will have to re-do, pushing my course out to 3.5 years instead of 3. However missed a month because i broke my leg in week 3, I was shattered because i feel like i actually tried

Really wanted to just quit, but even if it takes me 4 years, will finish it

I promise you, failing a maths subject at uni is not something you'll look back on as the moment your life went off the rails.

Get a bit of help, tutoring if needed, re-enrol and get yer degree in 3.5 years. I took 3.5 years and went straight into a massive global corporation as a graduate and haven't been unemployed for a day in the 17 years since.

And make sure you have some fun at uni. The thing I look back on is.... did I go to ENOUGH great parties and hook up with ENOUGH girls?

 

[vanders]

Feels like my fog is starting to clear and it feels good

 

[stmookeyj]

I agree with the sentiments here that there is a strong perception that you have to feel happy, or at least appear happy. I log onto social media and see everyone so happy and 'winning' at life. The media also encourage this appeal of appearing to be 'winning'.

Can only agree with this, I can assure people (and I often spin it as a joke with some I try to connect with for the first time) that I haven't been happy for 21 years, and will never truly find this again. I won't feel comfortable talking about the circumstances regarding why I'll never feel happy again (privately or publicly) until my parents are no longer on this earth, probably for fear of offending. Yes I have a job, even if I keep feeling insecurities about it. Yes I am in a reasonable financial state. Yes I'm content that I don't use a vehicle or have a licence to operate one. But it doesn't mean that I'm automatically a happy person, far from it.

What keeps me going is looking for a something long term to make sure I can reach that goal. Right now the next date I have to live for is May 12, when I am eligible for Long Service Leave, then June 10 when I can get back on the start line in South Africa for another crack at the Comrades Marathon.

I will say however that those that decide to hide their depressive thoughts aren't as weak as many will believe in this era of coming out and seeking help. If you don't feel comfortable seeking help and can find ways to manage this then to me that's being as strong as someone who admits their problems.

 

[Mitchell Madness]

People on this thread bag me. But there is something seriously wrong with me. I'm not sure what to do anymore. (Not terminal) and I should be in a happy place but I can't deal anymore. I lose my shit over (what really is the most mundane stuff) everyday events. I just don't get it. Maybe there is some secret maybe I should've done something but I'm tired atm. I literally can't get up anymore.

What I found worked for me was simply doing my own thing. Walking away from drama etc.
I’m still clinically depressed, I always will be, but surrounding yourself with the right energy goes a long way

 

[The Old Dark Navy's]

What I found worked for me was simply doing my own thing. Walking away from drama etc.
I’m still clinically depressed, I always will be, but surrounding yourself with the right energy goes a long way

Yep, just put your hand up in front of your face and refuse to take anybody else's negativity on board. It has taken me a long time to put myself first. Ended my marriage so I could find peace. My anxiety is still there and will probably always be because I'm wired that way but I instinctively shut down anything that is going to trigger me. You just have to have some self compassion and recognise you are worthy of empathy.

 

[Drakescoffeecake]

People on this thread bag me. But there is something seriously wrong with me. I'm not sure what to do anymore. (Not terminal) and I should be in a happy place but I can't deal anymore. I lose my shit over (what really is the most mundane stuff) everyday events. I just don't get it. Maybe there is some secret maybe I should've done something but I'm tired atm. I literally can't get up anymore.

What medication are you on, if any? Think a trip to the GP would be worthwhile. You don't need to be going through this.

 

[Power Raid]

People on this thread bag me. But there is something seriously wrong with me. I'm not sure what to do anymore. (Not terminal) and I should be in a happy place but I can't deal anymore. I lose my shit over (what really is the most mundane stuff) everyday events. I just don't get it. Maybe there is some secret maybe I should've done something but I'm tired atm. I literally can't get up anymore.

that's not a great place to be. Do you have a good GP?

 

[Donkey Chop]

People on this thread bag me. But there is something seriously wrong with me. I'm not sure what to do anymore. (Not terminal) and I should be in a happy place but I can't deal anymore. I lose my shit over (what really is the most mundane stuff) everyday events. I just don't get it. Maybe there is some secret maybe I should've done something but I'm tired atm. I literally can't get up anymore.

Ok, so you need to see if you can just push a bit further. Take some time to do something that takes you away from everything, whatever that is, gaming, sport, gym, boxing, some stuff that adults enjoy to just escape, doesn’t matter as long as it helps your brain stay in the moment. Go see a good doctor. I don’t know your situation so whatever is relevant, take time off work, spend time with people who you are comfortable with but don’t agitate you. Just hang in there.

Everyone is different, we all have different triggers. Be selfish, find what makes you feel good and push for that.

 

[jedi mind tricks]

Ok, so you need to see if you can just push a bit further. Take some time to do something that takes you away from everything, whatever that is, gaming, sport, gym, boxing, some stuff that adults enjoy to just escape, doesn’t matter as long as it helps your brain stay in the moment. Go see a good doctor. I don’t know your situation so whatever is relevant, take time off work, spend time with people who you are comfortable with but don’t agitate you. Just hang in there.

Everyone is different, we all have different triggers. Be selfish, find what makes you feel good and push for that.

I agree with this

I was pushed into mindfulness that wasn't for me. I found it frustrating

My new job is very physical and the work environment polar opposite to my old work. I feel like my mental state is very strong and when I'm not working far more relaxed

I still get anxious easily but my depression has lessened and my outlook on life is better.

I hope all posters on here find what they need

 

[HARKER]

What I found worked for me was simply doing my own thing. Walking away from drama etc.
I’m still clinically depressed, I always will be, but surrounding yourself with the right energy goes a long way

Not saying this isn't a sound method and it may work for many but is walking away from drama the best bet?
You don't have to engage, but isn't it worthy of asking where this drama emanated from and ways it could be dealt with?

Surrounding yourself with the right energy is good, but being a part of casting out the right energy is every bit as good and important.
The numbers of people with mental issues are somewhat horrific and we should all be charged with not only working for oursleves but for helping others.
Sometimes the two can be mutually bound and result in multiple win/wins. Care for yourself whilst being still able to care for others.

 

[Run n Spread]

What medication are you on, if any? Think a trip to the GP would be worthwhile. You don't need to be going through this.

None. Comes and goes. Don't know why the shit hit the fan yesterday. Thanks for replies will think things over.

 

[Mootsy]

My depression is work related combined with low self esteem, i can't seem to shake off being stuck in mediocre jobs. Factory, food, and usually i hang around for too long because i feel guilty for leaving as i tend to become one of the responsible ones. Then once you are trapped you feel too exhausted to look for new work and then years pass by and it never ends, you feel like your feet are stuck in quicksand, your managers also don't want you to leave because they kind of need you, so you feel horrible thinking about leaving etc and the cycle just goes on and on...

ugh!..

*shakes head..

In my free time i start feeling good again and my confidence returns, i keep busy, i feel relaxed, but when it comes to work, nope!

Would be far happier either working from home or outside in the garden or something..

But it's just so hard to get anything started when you feel tired and depressed.

 

[Mootsy]

Anyway for those struggling, this video is awesome and is helping me a lot, it's not really about depression but it might be what is leading to feeling down and or stuck. Not usually a big fan of ted talks, but this one is something else.

 

[Power Raid]

I've had bad experiences with Doctors (and they with me). Doesn't work.


I did and I'm back. I really don't understand myself. I think I'm just built and wired a certain way.

Work = Problem. I won't ever do with a full time job or fit in. I lack it.

People= I can be pretty blunt but no one agitates me long term. But I have a long long fuse but when it blows it blows right up.

I actually think I annoy others. I don't mean to but I get on peoples nerves. ( But the feeling goes both ways believes me). I honestly don't think I'm a a bad person. I just have made stupid decisions and let my emotions run away with me. I just need a real 180 and a way to somehow spin it all around

You're probably lucky that doctors don't work as I feel prescriptions aren't a great solution. I was just hoping that talking to someone and someone independent could help.

Personally I'm lucky with down moments as they come and go quickly. I don't talk about them to anyone as they do pass and generally occur when my auto-immune issues are attacking my body resulting in the inability to walk. So I have no choice but to take a seat and let time pass.

Have you found a correlation with triggers? too much computer time, sleep, work, relationships, pr0n, computer games?

I hope you keep your chin up and come out the other side soon!

 

[olivia89]

Exercise works great for me.

I started cycling for kicks, not to get exercise or anything, but because it seemed like a fun way of getting around. It took me a couple of weeks to normalize that, but I noticed that when I got home from work everyday, sweating and panting, I was upbeat.
I don't think it needs to be intense exercise. I believe even 30 minutes of fast walking could have a very positive effect (a hunch, no data to back that up) if done daily.

 

[Run n Spread]

Anyone heard the saying things are going to get worse before they get better? In a position now where I probably just need to act decisively and get it over with rather than suffering death by a thousand cuts so to speak. Just don't have the energy to deal with more shit thou.

 

[Angus Young]

I'm a mess Sunday nights.

 

[matt_bas]

Social media is rubbish if you take it too seriously. Chasing constant happiness is impossible too. Everyone has their down periods no matter how great their life looks.

A good book I read recently if anyone is interested was the Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. Explains that life is always up and down and how to deal with it better. Found it actually useful and realistic compared to the normal self help stuff around. Was recommended to me when I was going through a tough patch.

May hunt this down

 

[matt_bas]

I've got ways I cope as well, and I would feel judged for it too so I don't disclose it to anyone really.
You can only deal with what you have experienced, the worst thing you have been through may appear to someone else as not being as bad as something they have been through. Nonetheless it is still the worst thing you've been through.

I've had bad experiences with doctors, I've broken down and gone to doctors just to be rushed out. One gave me a picture book to take home and read once.

I know the feeling. Some docs just don't have a heart or only care about the $$$

 

[matt_bas]

Anyone heard the saying things are going to get worse before they get better? In a position now where I probably just need to act decisively and get it over with rather than suffering death by a thousand cuts so to speak. Just don't have the energy to deal with more shit thou.

As hard as it is to see, things will get better.