Health Depression

[Shell]

I am single (and i have now been thus for years since my one and only LTR), so I cannot relate much at all to the above.

But I do know if I meet 'the one' he will know me inside and out.


Good job MP.
/no patronizing/sarcasm, its fantastic.

 

[PoppedCorn]

Bit of an update on my depression, about 6 weeks ago my marriage was almost over, I knew things weren’t that good and that we were both ignoring issues and just co living by our life. My mental health was not great and was progressively getting worse to the point I was having constant dark thoughts. For about 6 years I’ve been living with some horrible skeletons that very few knew about and I was just pushing it all inside (not a healthy thing to do) . So 6 weeks ago my daughter sent me a random message saying that she loves me and that she would choose me as her dad every single time. This broke me because if she knew the stuff about me then she wouldn’t think that way. Anyway I thanked her and told her it’s nice to feel loved (because I honestly hadn’t felt loved in a long time). That night my wife and I had a huge talk about everything and I mean absolutely everything. Things were revealed that I had no idea about, things I though were secrets were known by everyone close too me. Some had known only recently others for years. We talked genuinely for hours and I probably slept the best I ever have in ten years and it’s been great ever since. The amazing thing for me was that I was so concerned about judgement from everyone that just became a hermit when in fact no one’s be judged me at all, not my wife, parents , in laws or kids. They forgave me, they didn’t condone me but forgave me and Inturn I have now forgiven myself which has led me to finally be at peace and to move forward in my life with my marriage and my relationships with everyone around me.

TLDR- forgive yourself, ****ing talk.. as hard as it is you just need to do it, it’s uncomfortable it’s hard but it’s so important to do. Be open with your partner, I almost threw 24 years of marriage away because I wouldn’t talk and my wife was ready to walk.

I feel really good at the moment best I’ve felt in soo long.

Sorry for the long post but I don’t have a lot of real life people to tell and I really hope my post gives others hope.

thanks for this
things arent great at home my side either
few diffs to you, like no kids
but ive been told to sort out what ever is going on in my head

im quite an introvert, not massively and i will go out and do things i like but id rather chill, movie, book, music etc
apparently thats not great and i need to be more sociable and get some mates so we can go out and do things
most times i just cant be ****ed with the stupid small talk that is just meaningless.
i also let little shit bother me which the other half absolutely hates, i do see the point on that and have begun working on not letting small stuff effect me, like why the hell would someone park next to you in an empty car park etc etc

ive been told im rude arrogant and totally self centred
pretty hard to take, especially when you cant see it
i guess not giving a **** about listening to someone dribble on about MAFS or whats happening at work and gossip means im all of that

my only outlet atm is the gym.

 

[Electronic_Renaissance]

ive been told im rude arrogant and totally self centred
pretty hard to take, especially when you cant see it

That's a pretty common theme for people with mental health or autism spectrum disorders.

You don't mean it, you don't even know you are acting like that.

 

[Run n Spread]

Been a big week for me.
I've burnt my sick leave and not gone to work. Not sure I'll go again ever.

 

[Run n Spread]

That's a pretty common theme for people with mental health or autism spectrum disorders.

You don't mean it, you don't even know you are acting like that.

At my age I'm getting tested but it's all too late and it won't be for another 6 weeks

 

[Electronic_Renaissance]

At my age I'm getting tested but it's all too late and it won't be for another 6 weeks

Tested by who? A medical place, NDIS or an employee?

Don't need to respond if not comfortable.

 

[Run n Spread]

Tested by who? A medical place, NDIS or an employee?

Don't need to respond if not comfortable.

Medical and work.
Needed referral but honestly was just as crazy as me.
I needed help but it ain't coming

 

[Electronic_Renaissance]

Medical and work.
Needed referral but honestly was just as crazy as me.
I needed help but it ain't coming

So if you pass the medical you will be OK to work without further tests?

Referral to who and who asked for it?

 

[Run n Spread]

So if you pass the medical you will be OK to work without further tests?

Referral to who and who asked for it?

No

 

[Run n Spread]

Look it's fine. We're all tired. I'm sick of working and life.

 

[Run n Spread]

I'm just not coping with liife

 

[Madas]

That's a pretty common theme for people with mental health or autism spectrum disorders.

You don't mean it, you don't even know you are acting like that.

Yeh but hang on ER
Before we start throwing the “disorders “ around the rest of what PC was saying is very normal

I lose my f*n mind when people park near me when there are a tonne of empty parks and I don’t really like small talk either .
And don’t even get me started on that MAFS shit , I don’t think I’ve ever even watched an episode but I hate it with a passion

See ……. Totally normal , rational behaviour

 

[Shell]

I wouldn't park next to a car in a completely empty car park, but ones with cars scattered around, it is easier to line up/park next to someone, using the other car as a guide. Imo

 

[Shell]

What makes me rage are the actual spaces seem to be getting smaller and narrower. I'm literally holding my breathe as I'm trying to get the stupid car dead centre it's that ****ing narrow

 

[PoppedCorn]

Yeh but hang on ER
Before we start throwing the “disorders “ around the rest of what PC was saying is very normal

I lose my f*n mind when people park near me when there are a tonne of empty parks and I don’t really like small talk either .
And don’t even get me started on that MAFS shit , I don’t think I’ve ever even watched an episode but I hate it with a passion

See ……. Totally normal , rational behaviour

Thanks mate lol
i have a few more to tick off, driving is one of them ( )

i have access to a programme where i can talk to someone, and i have an appointment so we will see what that brings

 

[Soldier Of Misfortune]

Thanks mate lol
i have a few more to tick off, driving is one of them ( )

i have access to a programme where i can talk to someone, and i have an appointment so we will see what that brings

Autism isn't even regarded as a disorder now. Just a different brain functioning. My son has been diagnosed and it's helped him massively in regards to self identification and being able to access info on how and why his brain works in way it does. Doesn't fix it all but the understanding has been helpful to everyone. It's probably way more prevalent than society yet realises cos we're all taught to fit in above all else.

Definitely worth reading up on because it just might be the 'holy crap, that's me!' moment like my son had when he read the booklet on the way home.

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

What makes me rage are the actual spaces seem to be getting smaller and narrower. I'm literally holding my breathe as I'm trying to get the stupid car dead centre it's that ****ing narrow

And so many spaces taken up with huge tanks that you can't see past when you're trying to back out. Apparently a council in NSW wants car parks to charge $25 a day for big utes and 4WDs

 

[Shell]

It's actually scary reversing out next to a 4WD. I gotta change where I park at school, to parallel parking to avoid this

 

[MP_]

thanks for this
things arent great at home my side either
few diffs to you, like no kids
but ive been told to sort out what ever is going on in my head

im quite an introvert, not massively and i will go out and do things i like but id rather chill, movie, book, music etc
apparently thats not great and i need to be more sociable and get some mates so we can go out and do things

Hey mate thanks for opening up, something I just want to point out is that it’s perfectly fine to not be overly social. If you’re being told to change I personally don’t feel that’s right , sound like it’s more your partners problem than yours. I’m also not overly social however my wife who has a very public role in our region means I have to go to a lot of things that make me feel uncomfortable. She also realised that at times I won want to go so won’t even ask me. Maybe what you need to do is just organise social outings with just her. Relationships are give and take and we have to step out of comfort zones from time to time but she should also be understanding of what your personality type too and not make it seem like you are the problem. Happy to chat privately if you want.

 

[Macca19]

Having been with someone for 19 years who constantly had a go at my personality and tried to change me (I too was also told I was arrogant, rude etc. when in reality i'm quiet, introverted and have crippling social anxiety at times)....never change. Be you. Always be you.

 

[Run n Spread]

Having been with someone for 19 years who constantly had a go at my personality and tried to change me (I too was also told I was arrogant, rude etc. when in reality i'm quiet, introverted and have crippling social anxiety at times)....never change. Be you. Always be you.

Why 19 years? Your personality is your own

 

[Macca19]

Why 19 years? Your personality is your own

The good times were good. The bad times were horrific. I wouldn’t change anything as my kids are amazing, but its something that should have ended before the kids came along.

 

[SeaOfFire]

I'm blessed.

I want you, the reader, to hold that thought for now.

I've posted ITT before, under another tag, many times, long time ago.

I'm 54. Unemployed. Homeless. No family in AUS. 2 friends.

(Edited version as it exists here already - 2014 TPD payout major depression, multiple hospital fun etc etc)

Due back from Thailand on May 2. To those aforementioned joys.

But....blessed.

Career, home ownership, suburban, long term partner, childless, lotsa freedom. That was a life a long time ago. After that, single, home ownership, rural.

And yet, NOW? With my circumstances as described?

Blessed. The totality of my material impact at this time fits into a single backpack. I am happy in a way that, at times, seems....beyond frivolous and into the surreal. I SHOULDN'T be happy.....I have a spread to go to, but it's temporary.....I need a job....I have no car (AUS ain't good with no wheels)....and yet....those weights, those THINGS that I need to do seem DOABLE....they seem achievable, they seem realistic and navigable.......

In a way that owning my house, having a car, having a job, having an Aussie suburban life.....just did NOT compute. And not just that, but added weight after weight after weight, endlessly fending off this thing and that thing, on and on, never ending.....

(My next psychiatrist appt is May 21. I have no idea wtf is going to happen between now and then - a plan of course, but no across the board certainty).

And I couldn't have dreamt, when I started this path 10 years ago, that this is where I would be now.

3 years ago I had a date at the GG bridge in SFO - I didn't make it.

And to be HERE, now.....not just thankful, but....resilient, determined, forward-looking, kinda confident.....is amazing.

Yep, I still have my bad days and nights, for ****ing sure. But I don't constantly cycle the movie reel in my head that my psych and I have spoken of many times, or the constant, gnawing feeling that AT ANY MOMENT, your safety and serenity could be removed and you become mere flotsam on the sea of life. Not just physical things, but emotional, external, uncontrollable forces, all lurking and looming, ready to pounce upon you and rend and tear your life to shreds.....

Yeah.

I don't feel like that 24/7 anymore.

Got no house.
Got no job.
Got no car.

But I got me back, me who was lost for so long.

And I'll take that every ****ing day of the week thank you umpire.

 

[superfraser]

I'm blessed.

I want you, the reader, to hold that thought for now.

I've posted ITT before, under another tag, many times, long time ago.

I'm 54. Unemployed. Homeless. No family in AUS. 2 friends.

(Edited version as it exists here already - 2014 TPD payout major depression, multiple hospital fun etc etc)

Due back from Thailand on May 2. To those aforementioned joys.

But....blessed.

Career, home ownership, suburban, long term partner, childless, lotsa freedom. That was a life a long time ago. After that, single, home ownership, rural.

And yet, NOW? With my circumstances as described?

Blessed. The totality of my material impact at this time fits into a single backpack. I am happy in a way that, at times, seems....beyond frivolous and into the surreal. I SHOULDN'T be happy.....I have a spread to go to, but it's temporary.....I need a job....I have no car (AUS ain't good with no wheels)....and yet....those weights, those THINGS that I need to do seem DOABLE....they seem achievable, they seem realistic and navigable.......

In a way that owning my house, having a car, having a job, having an Aussie suburban life.....just did NOT compute. And not just that, but added weight after weight after weight, endlessly fending off this thing and that thing, on and on, never ending.....

(My next psychiatrist appt is May 21. I have no idea wtf is going to happen between now and then - a plan of course, but no across the board certainty).

And I couldn't have dreamt, when I started this path 10 years ago, that this is where I would be now.

3 years ago I had a date at the GG bridge in SFO - I didn't make it.

And to be HERE, now.....not just thankful, but....resilient, determined, forward-looking, kinda confident.....is amazing.

Yep, I still have my bad days and nights, for ****ing sure. But I don't constantly cycle the movie reel in my head that my psych and I have spoken of many times, or the constant, gnawing feeling that AT ANY MOMENT, your safety and serenity could be removed and you become mere flotsam on the sea of life. Not just physical things, but emotional, external, uncontrollable forces, all lurking and looming, ready to pounce upon you and rend and tear your life to shreds.....

Yeah.

I don't feel like that 24/7 anymore.

Got no house.
Got no job.
Got no car.

But I got me back, me who was lost for so long.

And I'll take that every ****ing day of the week thank you umpire.

I feel like many years ago in this thread someone shared with us that they were selling up everything and starting a new life. I'm certainly wondering if this is you.

Well done! Glad you're well!

 

[Shell]

I feel like many years ago in this thread someone shared with us that they were selling up everything and starting a new life. I'm certainly wondering if this is you.

Well done! Glad you're well!

My workmate has a huge mortgage (or at least repayments due to the rate rises), she has two (older) kids and a partner but seems fed up. I tell her to just sell everything and go to Japan. Which is what she wants to do. I think she's thinking about it


I wouldn't do anything that drastic but I need some kind of change too