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Social Science Do You Have a 'Type'?

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I don't see why guys have such a hard time understanding this. Every girl, be it from the start or after a while of dating jerks, will eventually start to value those qualities in guys. It's just a cop out guys use, usually when they're not that nice anyway.

Do you think that every nice guy is single and it's only the jerks that get married?
I think the problem is that 'intelligent and kind' is not a big qualifier. Nobody wants to date someone stupid and mean. And really, according to most people's standards, there aren't a huge number of stupid and mean people out there. Most people set the bar for 'intelligent' as 'able to hold an interesting conversation' and 'kind' as 'considerate in a relationship'. If I look at every girl I know, there are few (if any) that I'd reject for not being smart or kind enough.

My mates who complain about girls not liking nice guys fail to realise that there are an awful lot of nice people out there. If it's your defining characteristic then it's more of an indication that you're lacking in other areas than anything else.
 

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I think the problem is that 'intelligent and kind' is not a big qualifier. Nobody wants to date someone stupid and mean. And really, according to most people's standards, there aren't a huge number of stupid and mean people out there. Most people set the bar for 'intelligent' as 'able to hold an interesting conversation' and 'kind' as 'considerate in a relationship'. If I look at every girl I know, there are few (if any) that I'd reject for not being smart or kind enough.

My mates who complain about girls not liking nice guys fail to realise that there are an awful lot of nice people out there. If it's your defining characteristic then it's more of an indication that you're lacking in other areas than anything else.

So I have one guy telling me he doesn't believe that a girl would like a guy for being smart and kind, and another telling me it's so obvious that it should go without saying? :confused:

I guess it is an obvious thing girls say and don't necessarily follow through with, but there's really no point for me to lie on here.
 
Intelligent, kind, funny without being too sarcastic, likes sport but doesn't need to be particularly athletic himself, even-tempered, doesn't smoke/do drugs, prefer dark hair over light hair, taller than me (but that's not usually a problem anyway, I'm about 5'4" or 5"), thinks I'm cute :p

I find this hard to believe.
 
So I have one guy telling me he doesn't believe that a girl would like a guy for being smart and kind, and another telling me it's so obvious that it should go without saying? :confused:

I guess it is an obvious thing girls say and don't necessarily follow through with, but there's really no point for me to lie on here.

you is kind, you is smart, you is important
 

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I guess instead of 'intelligent' I should say that I generally fall for the business minded types, rather than the typical 'men in uniform', be it army guys, fire fighters, cops, I'll include tradies as well. Guys who wear suits to work.. is that better? :rolleyes:

For what it's worth, you guys describing hot chicks should go without saying too..
 
So I have one guy telling me he doesn't believe that a girl would like a guy for being smart and kind, and another telling me it's so obvious that it should go without saying? :confused:
I guess I am saying that it is generally a low bar that doesn't really serve as a point of differentiation, rather than something that grades on a strict curve.

Guys find that frustrating when they see girls who claim to value intelligence and kindness and then date someone who isn't as smart or generous as them, without factoring in that intelligence and kindness only matters up to a certain point.
 
I guess instead of 'intelligent' I should say that I generally fall for the business minded types, rather than the typical 'men in uniform', be it army guys, fire fighters, cops, I'll include tradies as well. Guys who wear suits to work.. is that better? :rolleyes:
I called bullshit because you pretty much described me (except I'm extremely sarcastic, almost too much).

And I don't see any women lining up for me at the moment. So either you're saying one thing and doing the other, or you're a completely different girl to anyone I've met, in which case... give me your number.
 
And I don't see any women lining up for me at the moment. So either you're saying one thing and doing the other, or you're a completely different girl to anyone I've met, in which case... give me your number.
That's because, unless you're famous and(/or really, really) good looking, you won't have girls lining up. You have to make an effort and that's just one of those societal things, for better or worse. It's the same thing that makes most girls want a taller bloke and most guys want a shorter girl. It might be a remnant from patriarchal-domination, but it's still true.

u hav 2 be hell alpha
 
That's because, unless you're famous and(/or really, really) good looking, you won't have girls lining up. You have to make an effort and that's just one of those societal things, for better or worse. It's the same thing that makes most girls want a taller bloke and most guys want a shorter girl. It might be a remnant from patriarchal-domination, but it's still true.

u hav 2 be hell alpha
Yeah good point. I'm still trying to change how I approach this as I spend a lot of time waiting for things to happen even though I know they never will.
 
I called bullshit because you pretty much described me (except I'm extremely sarcastic, almost too much).
It wasn't exactly a prescriptive profile. I reckon 90% of non-blond guys could see themselves fitting that description to one degree or another.

We can all name factors we're broadly attracted to, but at the end of the day differentiation usually comes down to intangibles.
 

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I guess I am saying that it is generally a low bar that doesn't really serve as a point of differentiation, rather than something that grades on a strict curve.

Guys find that frustrating when they see girls who claim to value intelligence and kindness and then date someone who isn't as smart or generous as them, without factoring in that intelligence and kindness only matters up to a certain point.


I wouldn't say smart and nice are setting a low bar, especially since my definition of intelligence is more demanding than 'can hold a conversation' and my definition of nice isn't universally attainable either, but I guess everyone would 'claim it', so I see your point.


I called bullshit because you pretty much described me (except I'm extremely sarcastic, almost too much).

And I don't see any women lining up for me at the moment. So either you're saying one thing and doing the other, or you're a completely different girl to anyone I've met, in which case... give me your number.

Extreme sarcasm is a turn off for most girls. A bit of sarcasm is good, heaps of sarcasm is often considered either rude, mean or just seen as lazy humour and that the person has nothing genuinely funny to say.

Like SA said, girls aren't going to line up for guys as such, you still need to make an effort.. for example I have only once made the 'first move' and it practically scarred me from ever doing it again.
 
Extreme sarcasm is a turn off for most girls. A bit of sarcasm is good, heaps of sarcasm is often considered either rude, mean or just seen as lazy humour and that the person has nothing genuinely funny to say.
I have more of a dry sense of humour than extreme sarcasm, which yeah I've pretty much realised some people can find as a bit of a turn off.

But then again maybe my type is a girl who has a similar sense of humour to me, which looking back over my exs is pretty accurate.
 
It wasn't exactly a prescriptive profile. I reckon 90% of non-blond guys could see themselves fitting that description to one degree or another.

We can all name factors we're broadly attracted to, but at the end of the day differentiation usually comes down to intangibles.

I'm flattered that you think 90% of non-blonde guys think I'm cute :D

But in terms of guys I've met and have in my group of friends..they would rather play video games than watch the footy, are either tradespeople, have police aspirations, are generally unemployed and/or not studying, on the extreme side of being sarcastic, so yeah..so I wouldn't say 90% fit my description, in my eyes, at all.
 
But in terms of guys I've met and have in my group of friends..they would rather play video games than watch the footy, are either tradespeople, have police aspirations, are generally unemployed and/or not studying, on the extreme side of being sarcastic, so yeah..so I wouldn't say 90% fit my description, in my eyes, at all.
Smartest bloke I know is a tradie. ;)

But I more meant I reckon 90% of guys could see themselves in that description, to some degree. Sort of a horoscope type thing.
 

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