Remove this Banner Ad

Ethics Issue

  • Thread starter Thread starter Drummond
  • Start date Start date
  • Tagged users Tagged users None

Living Together

  • For

    Votes: 34 87.2%

  • Against

    Votes: 5 12.8%
  • Total voters
    39

🥰 Love BigFooty? Join now for free.

You MUST try before you buy.

However, I have no real desire to get married. Would quite happily live in sin for the rest of my life with the man of my dreams.....

I would rather the bloke be there in the morning because he wants to be, not because he's legally required to be.

Am I alone in this way of thinking?
 

Log in to remove this Banner Ad

Drummond said:
Isn't dating 'trying' out the person?
Click to expand...

Ever heard of sexual compatibility?

Drummond said:
If you are married, then I would like to believe your partner likes to be there, whether they are required to or not.
Click to expand...

Nice in theory, I'd like to believe it too..... some spouses are just too used to their situation to leave, or too scared to lose financial security, the kids, what have you..... Me, I want him to make the choice, EVERY DAY, that where I am is where he wants to be.
 
Living together prior to marriage? Sure, whatever you want.

Shacking up after a couple of months of dating because you can't be bothered driving home any more or you miss your big screen TV or you only want to own one toothbrush or ... and this time next year it's all off and you're "living with" someone else - er, no.
 
jimmy35 said:
Why would someone want to get along with no sex?
Click to expand...

We ARE talking about Drummond here.....

Isn't it great to know what an authority on everything Drummond is, and none of which he has any experience with. Including female tennis players. :eek:
 
Drummond said:
Because some people don’t find it as much of a necessity as others.

And Lance, I'm 17.
Click to expand...

But you will at some point and if your wife just lays there under you because you don't rock her boat you wish you had tried before you buyed.

Or at least she will.
 

Remove this Banner Ad

Oh well - when you get married little man - don't forget to call top bunk if you think this way...
 
Most married couples cease having sex, or regular sex, either as soon as children emerge, or from the day to day stresses of work. If a couple married at 20, had kids by 25, somewhere around 25-30, their sexual relationship will become once a month, three times a year, the type of statistics often heard of. The best years of a married couples sex life are the years prior to children, after that it's downhill. The husband too tired from work, losing sex appeal for his wife who's put on weight and become a nagging annoyance, too busy playing golf or watching football. The wife too tired from work and/or raising kids/cleaning, losing sex appeal for her husband who's put on weight, become a yob who takes her for granted.

Most couples into their 30's and 40's are this. As most people are now marrying later than in the past, now 28-35, then chances are sex will only be good and important for the first 3 years before they start having kids, working harder, and losing their physiques. From 30-death then, are the majority of a couple's life together.

Drummond has a point then that sex isn't as important.
 
pube_ said:
Most married couples cease having sex, or regular sex, either as soon as children emerge
Click to expand...

Which is why I'm more than happy to live in sin for the rest of my days..... now, to find the lucky fella! :p
 
hawkeye23 said:
Which is why I'm more than happy to live in sin for the rest of my days..... now, to find the lucky fella! :p
Click to expand...


Hello nurse!!!


Drummond - there are plenty of things you won't get to know about a partner until you move in with them. No way I would marry before getting to know someone well enough, and that would involve living with them beforehand. If people were made to marry first before living with someone then I reckon the divorce rate would skyrocket.
 
The problem with that line of thinking, Haweye23, is that the certification of Marriage tends to keep people together more often than de facto. A man living in sin with you would be happy, but it also promotes his or your ability to just dump each other over anything, or feel the freedom to cheat, or to make big changes in their own lives.

If you intend to still have children, or he does, your sex life will still suffer from the same things. Whether you're de facto with kids and jobs and hitting 35, or whether you're married with kids and jobs hitting 35, your sex life will still suffer.

If you don't ever have children, and he doesn't want any, you and him will both become expendable as the relationship revolves around sexual satisfaction and little emotional ties.

A man is unlikely to never want children either.

When two people can sit together and feel comfortable without feeling the need to talk, it is the same as when two people can exist together for years without the need for sex 3 times a day.
 

🥰 Love BigFooty? Join now for free.

Jezza, arranged marriages actually have a higher success rate than standard marriages. Religion influences that, but people tend to rush marriage of late. Hitting 28, and with pressure from their parents, they start to look for a husband, the first available best catch possible, rather than genuine love that's taken 5 years to develop through the ups and downs.

While living with someone is essential, living with someone usually ruins relationships or even same-sex friendships. Some people live together for 5 years in preparation for an eventual marriage, and it is living together itself that ends up breaking them up. Many friendships have been broken from living together.
 
First things first.... I'm loving your username. Top work there! :thumbsu:

pube_ said:
The problem with that line of thinking, Haweye23, is that the certification of Marriage tends to keep people together more often than de facto. A man living in sin with you would be happy, but it also promotes his or your ability to just dump each other over anything, or feel the freedom to cheat, or to make big changes in their own lives.
Click to expand...

OK, in my experience, the little piece of paper called a marriage has done jack-all to keep any of my married friends together. For me, living in sin is a more viable alternative, as the bloke (whoever he may end up being) will be there because he wants to be, simply because it would be easier for him to just walk away. To my way of thinking, if he's there of his own volition, it'd make it easier to work through the hard stuff, as every day he's made the decision to be there.

pube_ said:
If you intend to still have children, or he does, your sex life will still suffer from the same things. Whether you're de facto with kids and jobs and hitting 35, or whether you're married with kids and jobs hitting 35, your sex life will still suffer.
Click to expand...

For me, no plans to have children, and any relationship I enter into will be with someone of the same thinking as me, so this is not an issue.

pube_ said:
If you don't ever have children, and he doesn't want any, you and him will both become expendable as the relationship revolves around sexual satisfaction and little emotional ties.
Click to expand...

Disagree strongly. Just as he makes the choice every day to be there; likewise, I make the decision every day to do the same. This means more to me than anything else, including sex (I may've been a bit flippant in my previous post; apologies).

pube_ said:
When two people can sit together and feel comfortable without feeling the need to talk, it is the same as when two people can exist together for years without the need for sex 3 times a day.
Click to expand...

Agree to an extent. Three times a day would be a bit excessive. But three times a week is certainly attainable and reasonable. I would argue that more than this is a requirement, but to each their own. Certainly the companionship and emotional attachment is more important, but neither can be taken in isolation.
 
pube_ said:
Jezza, arranged marriages actually have a higher success rate than standard marriages. Religion influences that, but people tend to rush marriage of late. Hitting 28, and with pressure from their parents, they start to look for a husband, the first available best catch possible, rather than genuine love that's taken 5 years to develop through the ups and downs.

While living with someone is essential, living with someone usually ruins relationships or even same-sex friendships. Some people live together for 5 years in preparation for an eventual marriage, and it is living together itself that ends up breaking them up. Many friendships have been broken from living together.
Click to expand...

Well that is better than if they hadn't lived together and got a divorce 5 years later, with the likelihood of children involved.
 
jezza said:
Drummond - there are plenty of things you won't get to know about a partner until you move in with them. No way I would marry before getting to know someone well enough, and that would involve living with them beforehand. If people were made to marry first before living with someone then I reckon the divorce rate would skyrocket.
Click to expand...
Uh huh, agree fully.

You learn all kinds of stuff when you are physically living with someone, stuff they were able to keep hidden, or stuff that you find drags like a sausage dog's haemorrhoids when you are faced with it EVERY FREAKING DAY.
 
hawkeye23 said:
Disagree strongly. Just as he makes the choice every day to be there; likewise, I make the decision every day to do the same.
Click to expand...

Did you contradict yourself with this statement? You said you disagreed with me that couples become expendable without some sort of commitment, yet this statement confirms that attitude as every day there is a decision whether or not to continue being a couple.

But, I agree that a piece of paper doesn't mean as much as emotional commitment, and you obviously aren't being flippant about the issue from your last post. I too would rather not have the whole ceremony and piece of paper but rely on the day to day. If they go, they go.
 

Remove this Banner Ad

Remove this Banner Ad

🥰 Love BigFooty? Join now for free.

Back
Top Bottom