Ethics Issue

[purplesoul]

Keep yourself pure Drummy. Your future wife will respect you for it on your wedding night. And she will probably have had all the experience to guide you.

 

[Mikes4]

“The trend towards older age at marriage continued in 2002. The median age at marriage for men was 31 years, rising from 26 years in 1982. For women the median age rose to 29 years in 2002 from 24 years in 1982.”

How do you feel about this? In my opinion (of course there will be those who disagree) I think this is a worrying statistic. People are often living together for numerous years and marrying older as a result. Therefore woman will not have children until they are in their 30’s.

So you think those who have children outside of marriage should burn in hell also?

 

[Mikes4]

How do you feel about this? In my opinion (of course there will be those who disagree) I think this is a worrying statistic. People are often living together for numerous years and marrying older as a result. Therefore woman will not have children until they are in their 30’s.

How's that? You're making the assumption that because they have not married, they have not had children.

 

[Bombers 2003]

Keep yourself pure Drummy. Your future wife will respect you for it on your wedding night. And she will probably have had all the experience to guide you.

I told you Purps is stalking you,Drummond.

 

[lucas_hsv]

Here is all the proof you need:

"However, contrary to the expectations of many couples who perceive cohabiting before marriage as a safeguard against marital failure, the evidence to date strongly suggests the opposite: couples who cohabit before marriage are ending their marriages at significantly higher rates than couples who never lived together before the wedding."

Yes but those statistics are just as flawed as most other statistics. Example -

-Couple 1 lives together for 10 years, on their 7th year of the relationship they married, therefore married for 3 years.

-Couple 2 lives together for 1 year, get married, and live together for a further 9 years.

Couple 1 were married for 3 years, couple 2 were married for 9 years.

Both couples live together and are together for they same amount of time, but because couple 2 married earlier, they have a "more succesful marriage".

 

[Murray]

You MUST try before you buy.

However, I have no real desire to get married. Would quite happily live in sin for the rest of my life with the man of my dreams.....

I would rather the bloke be there in the morning because he wants to be, not because he's legally required to be.

Am I alone in this way of thinking?

God will get you for that

 

[ExTasDeeMan]

Keep yourself pure Drummy. Your future wife will respect you for it on your wedding night. And she will probably have had all the experience to guide you.

But get a DVD to watch as well - as your wedding night may be a brief one

 

[Fraz]

I'm a long way off getting married but I think it's best to live together prior to getting married.
You don't want to get married and 1) Have the "stress" of moving in and it possibly feeling "weird" as well as getting used to being married and 2.) Don't want to find out your partner has some strange and annoying habit or something that you weren't aware of before moving in together.

EDIT: Also, what do you guys and girls think of sex before marriage? You can obviously live together without having sex.
I actually think that it would probably be better to have slept together before the wedding night. I know a lot of girls want to stay a virgin until their wedding night as they see their virginity as a sort of "gift" to their husband but I think it would make the night a whole lot more enjoyable if you'd done the deed before. Here are the reasons why.
1. Less painful
2. Less stressful
3. Last longer

 

[Viking Wizard Eyes]

Living together prior to marriage.

What are your thoughts?

Has Drummy got a girlfriend?

 

[Viking Wizard Eyes]

I'm a long way off getting married but I think it's best to live together prior to getting married.
You don't want to get married and 1) Have the "stress" of moving in and it possibly feeling "weird" as well as getting used to being married and 2.) Don't want to find out your partner has some strange and annoying habit or something that you weren't aware of before moving in together.

EDIT: Also, what do you guys and girls think of sex before marriage? You can obviously live together without having sex.
I actually think that it would probably be better to have slept together before the wedding night. I know a lot of girls want to stay a virgin until their wedding night as they see their virginity as a sort of "gift" to their husband but I think it would make the night a whole lot more enjoyable if you'd done the deed before. Here are the reasons why.
1. Less painful
2. Less stressful
3. Last longer

No problem with it champ, as Lance said, this is the 21st century.

 

[Pantsless]

The only thing that comes out of this thread and the other alcohol thread is that young Drummy obviously thinks the majority of BF people are heathens and tries to prove to everyone that he's a much better person than most BF people.

 

[Pantsless]

I know a lot of girls want to stay a virgin until their wedding night as they see their virginity as a sort of "gift" to their husband but I think it would make the night a whole lot more enjoyable if you'd done the deed before. Here are the reasons why.
1. Less painful
2. Less stressful
3. Last longer

I've got a fair few close female friends and also have spoken about this with my current fiance and exes and they have all said there first time was the worst sex they'd ever had.

If you waited till marriage and found out she was into freaky midget sex while you were still a virgin, you'd be a tad confused.

 

[finbarr]

Celibacy - the most unnatural perversion.

 

[Blues_Man]

Where are you sourcing your stats from drummond ?...they sound like they are coming from some religious organization .
and yes in this day and age it is by far preferable to try before you buy .
Living together is a good practice run before you attempt the real thing .
It worked for me anyway

 

[bunsen burner]

I reckon you'd have to have rocks in your head to get married before you know if you can live with the other person (and vice versa). Is there any logical merit whatsoever about not living together before marriage?

 

[Kingpin]

Living together prior to marriage.

What are your thoughts?

Absolute prerequisite to getting married as far as I'm concerned.
What would happen if you were to get hitched to someone who you'd never lived with and then found out after the wedding that you couldn't live with the other person?
The marriage wouldn't last long and therefore be a complete waste of time and be financially unviable for something that was doomed to fail in the first place.
Try before you buy.

 

[Copernicus]

Absolutely. It's much different living with someone than simply seeing them on a reguiar basis, because you see ALL of their flaws. This helps to build a relationship on a stronger foundation, because you are exposed to all the facets of the person you are living with. It's better to be fully informed before making a committment like marriage.

 

[bunsen burner]

See this is what I just cannot understand. If you have been dating the person for 6 months, a year, 2 years or whatever, you surely have to be 'compatible' with that person and share a bond that leads to marriage. You obviously know the person very well and therefore get married. You already know their bad habits and what not.

err, no. No different to your mates: some you can share a house with, some you can't. Marriage involves co habitation so it'd be a good idea to make sure you're getting married to someone you can co-inhabit with.

hint: you're 17 and know f-all about f-all.

 

[bunsen burner]

Shouldn't dating bring out the habits that could possibly deter you from a commitment?

nope.

 

[bunsen burner]

Well I was prepared to say fair enough. That was until you came out with that last statement. Was it really necessary?

Yep.

We've already heard your ignorant comments re alcohol. Now we get to see your wordly views on cohabitant and marriage. It's common for people in your age group to think you know all the answers, but you should at least be aware of this "know all" phase you're going through and check yourself.

tip 2: Human intelligence peaks probably somewhere in most people's 40s or 50s due to experience and larger knowledge database. I don't know anyone who peaks at 17. I know people who think they've peaked at 17.....but they're 17 year olds. You've got a fair way to go before you know the answers to what you think you know.

 

[Drummond]

Yep.

We've already heard your ignorant comments re alcohol. Now we get to see your wordly views on cohabitant and marriage. It's common for people in your age group to think you know all the answers, but you should at least be aware of this "know all" phase you're going through and check yourself.

tip 2: Human intelligence peaks probably somewhere in most people's 40s or 50s due to experience and larger knowledge database. I don't know anyone who peaks at 17. I know people who think they've peaked at 17.....but they're 17 year olds. You've got a fair way to go before you know the answers to what you think you know.

Thanks for the heads up on life, it is really appreciated. I think you are the most knowledgeable and informed person I have come across on these boards. However all I have done is share my opinion on this matter, is that so bad bunsen? I am in no way saying that my opinion is the be all and end all, just pointing out some simple statistics and my thoughts.

 

[Copernicus]

Shouldn't dating bring out the habits that could possibly deter you from a commitment?

Not unless you're spending all your time together - and I mean ALL.

It's not the same thing at all. As BB said, you want to find out if you can actually LIVE with someone, not meet up with them on weekends.

 

[Viking Wizard Eyes]

Shouldn't dating bring out the habits that could possibly deter you from a commitment?

That's exactly the point.

Living together, the concept, is meant to do that.

It's meant to bring out the deterrents, you fool.

If living together brings out deterrents to commitment, then you shouldn't get married.

If it doesn't, then that's a pretty good indication.

And don't the people thank their lucky stars that they tried living together.

It's like a test Drummy, you've done them, I'm sure.

 

[bunsen burner]

However all I have done is share my opinion on this matter, is that so bad bunsen? I am in no way saying that my opinion is the be all and end all, just pointing out some simple statistics and my thoughts.

Opinion is fine, but you have no experience to base your opinion on. Like the alcohol thread, tons of people who have experience have offered a counter opinion that is widely accepted yet you have had trouble grasping them.

In a few years you will know what we're talking about on both accounts.

Being friends/partners with someone does not guarantee you can live with them. Since marriage involves long term cohab it's essential you are able to live with them. Heavy price for getting it wrong.

MUST.LIVE.TOGETHER.BEFORE.MARRIAGE. Repeat until etched in memory.

 

[Lance Uppercut]

Drummond, you obviously live at home with your parent, am I right?

Sheez, you have no idea about how dynamics change when you live with somone. Your best mate can become your worst enemy within 6 months of living together, ******** imagine how much that's multiplied when it's a chick??!!

Then there's sexual chemistry. Again, I no you have no experience, but it's ********ing important!!!