Preview Gameday Thread. Hawks Vs Dees

[grizzlym]

Round 20
Hawthorn vs Melbourne

Above: a typical Melbourne member.

Where and when: [/B]MCG, Sunday, August 15, 2.10pm AEST
Head to head: Hawthorn 77 wins, Melbourne 74 wins, no draws
Last time: Melbourne 8.13 (61) def by Hawthorn 17.15 (117), round 1, 2010 at the MCG

Hawthorn

B: Brent Guerra, Stephen Gilham, Thomas Murphy
HB: Ben Stratton, Josh Gibson, Grant Birchall
C: Chance Bateman, Sam Mitchell, Rhan Hooper
HF: Jordan Lewis, Lance Franklin, Shaun Burgoyne
F: Michael Osborne, Jarryd Roughead, Wayde Skipper
Foll: Brent Renouf, Luke Hodge, Brad Sewell
I/C (from): Campbell Brown, Xavier Ellis, Jarryd Morton, Carl Peterson, Brendan Whitecross

In: Skipper, Brown, Hooper, Morton, Whitecross, Peterson
Out: Rick Ladson, Clinton Young (soreness), Simon Taylor, Garry Moss, Mattt Suckling

Melbourne

B: Colin Garland, Jared Rivers, Clint Bartram
HB: Joel Macdonald, James Frawley, Rohan Bail
C: Tom Scully, James McDonald, Cameron Bruce
HF: Jamie Bennell, Jack Watts, Austin Wonaeamirri
F: Liam Jurrah, Brad Green, Colin Sylvia
Foll: Mark Jamar, Lynden Dunn, Aaron Davey
I/C (from): Jordie McKenzie, Nathan Jones, Jack Trengove, Brad Miller, Matthew Warnock, Paul Johnson, Cale Morton

In: Miller, Warnock, Morton
Out: Nil


FORM:
Hawthorn: LWDLL
Melbourne: WLWWW

Above: the big incubation tank.

Gentlemen we've got a spiffing game ahead us. Tally Ho!

That's right, the mighty Hawks go up against the young guns of the Dees fresh from the big tank. But I’m not here to troll, well, not quite yet, because we’ve got a preview to get through yet. Actually we don’t, because whoever put their hand up as vanished. Currently, Galon is out stalking the individual with a length of plumbing tube and a rabid stoat.
It won’t be pleasant, but no one needs to know the details. Moving right along, here are the usual re-caps.

We speculated on the team changes here.

And discussed the merits of the actual team selected here.

So folks, this is what's happening this week: with no preview writer, we’ve got a special guest all the way from the Melbourne Board, Biff. Very un-Melbourne name, I’ll grant you that, but a fine poster who’s well penned posts are always top reading. (Biff actually dictates his verse to an assistant who writes it down with a quill on parchment.

So without further ado, here's Biff (then I'll come back for the final say):

 

[grizzlym]

Here's Biff.

PLEASE NOTE THIS INTERVIEW IS FICTITIOUS AND PERTAINS ONLY TO FOOTBALL MATTERS:

Drawing back on a Malby Red, I stood next to the Sir Kenneth Luke Stand in the late afternoon and beheld the remnants of VFL Park. The famous scoreboard was dust. The nearby dam, where I had once swum in my youth, was now a cesspool of mud. Squat little boxes, masquerading as town-houses, stretched to the horizon and beyond. I turned my attention back to the remaining grandstand. For whatever reason, its concrete reminded me of a bunker. Without warning, an image of Klaus von Stauffenberg – the hero who had tried to assassinate Hitler at the Wolf’s Lair - flashed through my mind. What could it mean, I asked myself. Was destiny knocking on my door?

“The Leader will see you now,” a prim-looking guy in a brown-shirt (with yellow lapels) boomed out. I looked down at my suitcase. All that it contained was a half eaten apple and a notepad – alas, there was no bomb.

“Follow me!” he ordered curtly. “And put out that cigarette. They’re forbidden here; and if you want to eat something, only vegetarian meals are allowed.” With his jackboots echoing in my ear, he led me down a dark corridor into the bowels of the Sir Kenneth Luke Stand. I passed through a metal-detector. He left me in a large room with a marble floor. There were no windows. Gloom-ridden, I was now alone in the office of the Leader.

To the right, there was a large hawk statue – or at least I thought it was a hawk – with its wings outstretched triumphantly. Its talons had the world in its grasp (and someone had wrapped a hideous Hawthorn scarf from the 1970s around its neck). The ten premiership cups were nearby, gleaming like bullion. The walls were plastered with various Weg posters from the premiership years and endless snapshots of September glory. I asked myself: is this Victory Disease? Were the Melbourne offices like this back in late 1964 after the twelfth premiership had been claimed? Hubris never goes unpunished; but with a young-enough Buddy on the list, who can say when the Day of Reckoning will come for the Hawkers? Downcast, I felt like the prophet Daniel at the court of King Belshazzar, surrounded by ill-begotten gold. Oh, for someone to write Mene, Mene, Tekel u-Pharsin on the wall: ‘You have been weighed in the balance and found wanting – your kingdom is divided and it cannot stand,’ but there no room on the walls for any such message to be inscribed.

The door opened and an all too familiar person strutted in.

“Ahhh, Biffinator, welcome to the Eagle’s – oophs, the Hawk’s Nest,” he boomed.

“Jeff, it is a great honour to meet you,” I replied. One of his adjutants also appeared.

“Are you sure that you don’t want a red wine?” Jeff offered as he settled into his chair. “It’s getting late in the day. I have a nice little vintage from an estate in the Barbarossa – what am I saying - the Barossa valley!”

I declined this offer, requested a coffee and sat down.

“Jeff, thanks for your time. I am a big fan of yours. I thought you were a terrific Premier of Victoria. I was really disappointed when you were defeated by Hack-Bracks. If you have been given more time then perhaps . . . .”

That was the last word I got in for the next ten minutes or so. Jeff went berko. Evidently the mere mention of his successor (and his own downfall) was enough to send him into a rage, and oh, how the wind blew! He pounded a map that lay on his desk. Froth bubbled out of his mouth. His eyeballs were bulging forth from his skull. Guttural words peppered his speech. Watching on in amazement, I sensed that his secretaries and adjutants in the office outside were standing on the other side of the door to eavesdrop in. Ten minutes later, the tempest finally died away. He drew a deep breath and sipped away at his water. Thinking it best to ignore the entire episode, I congratulated him on the successful venture into Tasmania and asked him what lay ahead.

“Hawthorn’s Reich –Biff, what is wrong with me today – reign is going to last over 1000 years,” he boomed as colour returned to his face. “That means we must expand overseas. Europe, for instance, is an untapped market. We can blitz them easily. Under my leadership, the Hawthorn Football Club will unleash an onslaught – marketing-wise, I should add - into Poland, followed by Norway, Holland, Belgium, France and the Balkans – they are all ripe for the picking. There is a lot of growth potential in Russia. It is largely untapped. If we want to remain a superpower, we should invest our energies there. As always, we will follow the Hawthorn Way: One Team - One Goal - One Leader.”

“So one day, a yellow and brown scarf will be flying from the bell-tower of the Kremlin?” I asked.

“Yes, Moscow,” he murmured dreamily. “Moscow.”

Behind him, the fax-machine stuttered into life. Jeff leapt from his chair to scrutinise the incoming fax.

“Good, good,” he trumpeted, doing a jig on the spot. “Eddie over at Collingwood has just signed our Non-Aggression-Pact. There is no reason why the two Super-Powers of the league cannot respect each other’s sphere of influence. This alliance will be permanent. We are certainly going to keep our end of the bargain!”

The smirk on his face became more pronounced. Something is up, I thought to myself; but he ain’t gonna tell me.

“Jeff, what are your views on the current health of the league?”

“Biffinator, there is no other way to put it, but it is time for a final solution. The successful clubs must head off in one direction; the sickly clubs, in another! Yes indeed, the latter must be euthanized. Norf is a running sore; Port is a failed experiment; your own Demons are a joke – yes, a joke with no debt but no money; St Kilda will never win anything; Sydney is being propped up by the league. It is the survival of the fittest. We are strong and we are going to become stronger. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a brown and yellow boot stamping on a human face—forever!”

After a moment’s thought, he added.

“And once St Kilda has been given the bullet, they won’t need their colours anymore. We might incorporate them into a new away jumper for the Hawthorn Football Club.”

I sighed.

“Jeff, the recent membership results made for sobering reading. It is astonishing how many kids you’ve signed up as members.”

“Yes, yes. We are very proud of the Hawthorn Youth. They’re well drilled and disciplined. We will be holding some rallies for them soon. When an opponent declares, ‘I will not barrack for the Wee & Poo’, I calmly say: ‘Your child belongs to us already... What are you? You will pass on. Your descendants, however, now stand in the new camp. In a short time they will know nothing else but this new juggernaut.’”

There must have been a function occurring elsewhere in the complex. Faintly, we could hear their rendition of ‘We’re a Happy Volk at Hawthorn’. Jeff’s eyes, in response, went glassy.

“Yes, yes,” he muttered to himself. “Hawthorn uber alles!”

He stood bolt-upright. His right arm – menacingly – began to arc towards the ceiling.

“Don’t do it Jeff,” I shrieked. “Just don’t do it.”

I reached for a nearby glass of water and threw it in his face. He dropped his right hand to his side. Before he could react any further, a Hawthorn official burst into the room, followed by a sheepish-looking Buddy.

“Great Leader, I have some calamitous news to report,” he said breathlessly.

I was quickly shooed out of the room. As I walked past Buddy, I whispered.

“Well done, dumb-arse. Garland is waiting for you. Dees by 1 point.”

And I made good my escape.

Biffinator

 

[grizzlym]

The Abbott of Melbourne.

Biff,

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. And as any devotee of pr0n will tell you: moving ones are priceless.

Moving right along, check this vintage ad for Abbotts Lager out. It’s as old as the hills, yet it was still years off being made when the Dees snatched their last flag.

Turn up the sound and listen carefully. It could have been written about any of your Demon brethren.

[YOUTUBE]fiOJJeqoDf8[/YOUTUBE]

‘Park the Range Rover, Geeves, I’m going to have me an Abbott or two in the Members before watching the lads battle it out.’

No more words from me are needed, Biff. The Abbott has spoken.

 

[grizzlym]

It seems Galon has located our preview writer (that stoat is very persuasive).

Enjoy the preview!

When it gets here!

 

[grizzlym]

Thanks Brishawk!

Here it is:

It is hard to talk about a Hawthorn v Melbourne match without referring to the 1996 "Merger" match. Hawthorn was a club, deep in debt with a small membership base but a cartel of loyal supports willing to put their hands in their pockets to help the club. The two sides met in a match which would determine the finals prospects of Hawthorn - win and we were in. Lose and we were out. But the match carried with it a much more primal motivation for the players and supporter. It was a chance to say, our club is better than your club, we deserve to be in the finals and we don't need your club to survive. We are Hawthorn!

Three weeks ago Melbourne's season was virtually over while many supporters and media personalities were tipping Hawthorn as a an outside chance of winning the premiership. A draw to the Saints and bad losses to Port Adelaide and Sydney have left supporters and media personalities alike questioning both the premiership chances and even finals aspirations of Hawthorn. Conversely, Melbourne carry with it huge momentum with three wins in three games along with a recent announcement that the clubs debt has been "Demolished". If this match were an election, I am sure the commentators would be reflecting on how Melbourne look like finalists where Hawthorn, suffering from poor results in the polls, look like an bottom eight opposition in waiting.

Now I could recite to you key statistical areas in which Hawthorn have failed over the past three weeks or the areas in which we have a statistical advantage over the Demons but that would detract from the real issues affecting the Hawthorn Football Club. All season long the team has had cause to rue missed opportunities. Narrow losses early in the season are cited as putting our team out of contention for a top four position and will no doubt be wheeled out again in the post season as reason for our bottom eight finish should we fail to make the finals. Likewise, missed opportunities in front of goal (and defensive brain fades) cost us matches against Geelong and St Kilda. In place of an equal effort against Port Adelaide and Sydney, we displayed an inability to contest the ball and work hard. Again, this was a missed opportunity to cement our place in the eight.

The boot of our opponent is pressed firmly on our throat. Lose now and our season is all but mathematically over. Win and we breathe again for another week. This match for Hawthorn is not a matter of tactics, or which players are available, or exploiting match ups. This match is about Hawthorn's willingness to pressure its opponent and contest the footy when it is in dispute. It is about its ability to punish the opposition for the mistakes that pressure creates. Collingwood showed against Geelong, that if you can pressure an opposition into making turnovers and transform turnovers in to goals, you can beat the running game used by Geelong (and Melbourne). Just as we did in 1996, in this match we must to say, our club is better than your club and we deserve to be in the finals, else, I fear, we will once again rue a missed opportunity. Go Hawks!

 

[pipcoo]

Ya Cooooooooool Grizz

Footy basic's tomorrow will help us win.
A turn around in team work ethic would be good.
Runners would be handy, plodder's have been eliminated.
A forward line setup that works or at least different would be surprising.

Ya hopefully not to much to ask for .

Hawks by 17 or 46

If we lost tomorow the axe will fall very hard on lot's of heads.

 

[HAWKS HEROES]

Brett Rosebury (8)
Robert Findlay (23)
Shane McInerney (30)
EM: Damien Sully (12)

 

[hawkheart]

I have come round during the week. Have a strong feeling that we will make a statement today. Six-eight goal win.

 

[themarkedman72]

I have come round during the week. Have a strong feeling that we will make a statement today. Six-eight goal win.

I will be disapointed if Scully and trengrove can walk at halftime.

Hit the man and ball hard hawks. Tackle hard.

We are the stonger team.

Frawley vs Buddy...bring it on minnow Buddy will destroy u.

The Demons have had some easy wins. Today is the real thing.

The real HFC will stand up and we will destroy Melbourne.

Jack watts is just another Gary Lyon nice boy but not strong enough to win a flag. Bunch of NTTAWWTs.

Bennell who? They reckon he can take Hodge?

Macdonald to Hodge Mitchell wins it.

This is ours to lose. We are the better team.

 

[Brant]

I will be disapointed if Scully and trengrove can walk at halftime.


This is ours to lose. We are the better team.

Absolutely agree Marked Man - but that is what concerns me. We have lost about 6 games this year that were 'ours to lose'...

In saying that, I have us as 4 goals up at 3/4 time & blowing it out to an 8 goal win.

 

[Jaeger]

I'm off to the game now.

Go Hawks!

 

[jackjen05]

2 x Tickets to today's game - FREE

Hi,

Sorry, I can't start a new thread because of the new rules...

I have 2 tickets to the match today, they are Premiership Club ones and can be collected at the ground.

One thing you will need to know that there is a strict dress code.

Dress code:
Acceptable – Collared shirt, polo shirt, dress pants, dress shoes
Not acceptable – Denim (jeans & jackets), t-shirts without collars, singlets, shorts, footy jumpers, football scarves, sports shoes.
Note: the Premiership Club reverses the right to refuse entry if you do not comply.

If you are interested, please e-mail me at jma170365@dodo.com.au for further info.

Thanks
Jenni

 

[mr_hawk74]

rumour has it Frawley from melb will be a late withdrawal, lets hope so.

 

[Brant]

Frawley out doesn't make it a dead cert but god it would help

 

[Hungry Hawk]

Frawley in the rooms warming up, good chance that rumour is wrong.

 

[Off The Couch]

Dear Hawks,

Today is my birthday. I ask for nothing more than for you to come out and make a statement right from the first bounce and put this game beyond doubt by preferably the first quarter but will settle for half time. Please do not make me endure another week of heart palpiltating stuff till the final siren - today I am another year older and may not be able to cope.

Thanks in advance
CP

 

[Baz_hawk]

Demons playing on their terms at the moment, signs aren't looking good.

 

[happy punter]

Demons 19-7

 

[timetochange08]

what is going on down there?

 

[Baz_hawk]

19-19 now. Rain is belting down according to Triple M

 

[Baz_hawk]

Ozzie carried off the ground, landed awkwardly on the ankle. Could be a man down for the rest of the game.

 

[CAPTAINCRAWF]

Skipper has already won more of it than Taylor did last week in total!

 

[HodgeISgod]

this is embarassing.

CLARKO: you cant kick goals if you have 18 players in your defensive half!

the whole game is being played in their forward line because we have no avenue out, and NO chance of a counter attack.

win or lose, season over if he persists with this crap.

 

[xXDaOne2KillXx]

We may win, we may not...all i know is that this is not Hawhron...this game style is Sydney Swans (at their worst) like.

Its making me so please get a forward structure, not Pagins Padock...we have the best forwards in the comp...FOR F..K SAKE!!!!!!!!!

 

[killerspud]

Our forward coach needs replacing urgently - to begin with WE HAVE NO FORWARDS!!!!!!