Seven Seas
Draftee
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2002
- Posts
- 3
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I was just wondering, how long do you think it takes to get over having your heart broken?
No matter how I try to put her out of my mind, she dominates my thoughts even after nearly 2 years apart. I'm not a teenager, I've had a few relationships and I do reasonably well with girls. But when I was mid-twenties I met a girl who changed my idea of what my concept of love was all about...she didn't have the biggest boobs, or the cutest bum, but she had something else infinitely more beautiful than either...I can't even put my finger on what it was, but we connected on a new level. I genuinely thought that I'd met my soulmate.
We were together for 3 years. We broke up because, ultimately, she'd lost faith in me. I had problems growing up, got beaten by my usually drunken father, grew up with violence from day one. Then I started acting crazy around 9-10 getting into all sorts of crime and trouble, fighting, being a real prick of a kid, and I eventually got kicked out of home from my mum (who'd by then divorced my Dad and turned gay). I had to bring myself up, which I think I did ok at seeing as though eventually I ended up getting my VCE despite god knows how many problems worrying about where my next meal would come from. I remember I had a friend at school who'd tell his mum each day he was starving and he wanted an extra apple and sandwich to eat, then he'd give them to me at lunchtime when I had nothing. Makes me get a lump in the throat thinking about it.
Anyway the point is I had so much repressed anger in me and I took it out on my true love, I hit her a few times. Not punches to the head type hits, but that's not the point. So eventually I lost her. I've got little doubt that she felt I was her soulmate too, but I just hurt her too much for her to continue. What compounded the situation was that she decided to move to London for a year when we broke up, so we had no chance to see each other because for personal reasons I just couldn't go there to see her. The whole situation is my life's biggest regret.
Since breaking up I decided I had to see a psych, which I did on multiple occasions. I worked so hard to try and understand all the rage going on inside me, all the hurt I had built up from childhood. It took time, but I eventually have come to accept what happened and I've patched everything up with my family. Funnily enough, I think I've now become the person that my ex- always wanted me to be, but it's too late. She won't let her guard down to me anymore, and I can't just be friends with her like she says she wants. It's the saddest thing in my whole life, I've lost my true love.
I try to look at things positively, I mean, if we'd never broken up I'd maybe never have had to re-evaluate my entire life in such an ultimate way. Breaking up was the catalyst for me to take the steps to being a better person, and I've never been happier with myself as a result. I think I actually love myself now, when all I ever used to feel was hatred and anger. My entire perspective on the world and people changed as a result.
But after 2 years I still have a broken heart. I was just wondering, does anyone know how long it takes to get over these things?
No matter how I try to put her out of my mind, she dominates my thoughts even after nearly 2 years apart. I'm not a teenager, I've had a few relationships and I do reasonably well with girls. But when I was mid-twenties I met a girl who changed my idea of what my concept of love was all about...she didn't have the biggest boobs, or the cutest bum, but she had something else infinitely more beautiful than either...I can't even put my finger on what it was, but we connected on a new level. I genuinely thought that I'd met my soulmate.
We were together for 3 years. We broke up because, ultimately, she'd lost faith in me. I had problems growing up, got beaten by my usually drunken father, grew up with violence from day one. Then I started acting crazy around 9-10 getting into all sorts of crime and trouble, fighting, being a real prick of a kid, and I eventually got kicked out of home from my mum (who'd by then divorced my Dad and turned gay). I had to bring myself up, which I think I did ok at seeing as though eventually I ended up getting my VCE despite god knows how many problems worrying about where my next meal would come from. I remember I had a friend at school who'd tell his mum each day he was starving and he wanted an extra apple and sandwich to eat, then he'd give them to me at lunchtime when I had nothing. Makes me get a lump in the throat thinking about it.
Anyway the point is I had so much repressed anger in me and I took it out on my true love, I hit her a few times. Not punches to the head type hits, but that's not the point. So eventually I lost her. I've got little doubt that she felt I was her soulmate too, but I just hurt her too much for her to continue. What compounded the situation was that she decided to move to London for a year when we broke up, so we had no chance to see each other because for personal reasons I just couldn't go there to see her. The whole situation is my life's biggest regret.
Since breaking up I decided I had to see a psych, which I did on multiple occasions. I worked so hard to try and understand all the rage going on inside me, all the hurt I had built up from childhood. It took time, but I eventually have come to accept what happened and I've patched everything up with my family. Funnily enough, I think I've now become the person that my ex- always wanted me to be, but it's too late. She won't let her guard down to me anymore, and I can't just be friends with her like she says she wants. It's the saddest thing in my whole life, I've lost my true love.
I try to look at things positively, I mean, if we'd never broken up I'd maybe never have had to re-evaluate my entire life in such an ultimate way. Breaking up was the catalyst for me to take the steps to being a better person, and I've never been happier with myself as a result. I think I actually love myself now, when all I ever used to feel was hatred and anger. My entire perspective on the world and people changed as a result.
But after 2 years I still have a broken heart. I was just wondering, does anyone know how long it takes to get over these things?
