Family & Relationships girlfriend want to get married quick

[Axcellence]

The point that you are even asking this shows that you are insecure as she is.

She's being a bully coz she knows you are insecure and uncertain.

If she is on a tight schedule, and if this is a deal breaker, she will have to restart again which will put her back further in her schedule.


PS tight schedule..? Does it relate to kids? I saw on tv that women start lowering in fertility from age 27.

 

[WALL-e]

Never rush legally binding things, especially one that comes with the emotional **** fest that marriage is.

 

[Affidavit]

Yeah man yeah this sounds very close. Me and her are both 26 and her reason was that for a woman 26 is already very old and she is saying that she is on a very tight schedule. Am i the only one who has a problem with this?

Yeah you guys are a little older. We're 24 and 22 she being the older one.

I'm going to just keep waiting it out I guess but I still have a while before we get to that point. Need to set up a business and so on before I go down that path.

 

[poweredup]

This is just so bleeding obvious, don't do it man! You clearly don't don't want to, so don't - simple! It isn't a game.

Imagine yourself standing there at the wedding in front of your families and friends when you don't really want to be - that should put it all in perspective.

 

[exbunobooga]

I'd rather be single and free than married and tied down. I'm 28 and the thought of wife and couple of kids in a house in the suburbs scares the absolute sh1t out of me. Living the same routine, day in, day out, just so you can have a two week holiday at the end of the year. Busting your ass to buy a bunch of sh1t to keep your consumer lifestyle happy. Dont do it if you dont want to - especially not to make some girl happy. Its your life

 

[JuddsABlue]

my misses has been pushing the marriage issue the last couple of months

i purely blame the scum bucket ferals from our school who I wouldnt spit on if on fire who all got married early because they were knocked up at 19 and now live in the shittiest build-a-day houses in one of those new suburbs that literally has nothing in it

we have been together for 5 years, both are 24. Just not going to do it for a while, want to buy a house and live together for a while then go down that path

either way its coming to a head though, shes either just going to have to put it to bed or I'll give her a talk that'll ruin my week

your situation bro is messed up. shes probably told her parents your already married and have aus residency.

 

[Smoooothy]

OP, this is screaming run. run far, run fast. just run!

 

[kfc1]

OP's gf is definitely 'traditional' Chinese, probably due to the parents influence

my gf is asian, thank god her parents are very much 'westernised' in that respect and are in no rush to see her married or have grandkids. unfortunately one of her best friends has been given a deadline of finding a bf before 30 (only a year and a bit away) or her parents will find her a suitor...umm...yeah, good luck with that

as for your situation, RadicalRoo, I believe that the Peoples Republic of China demands that you get married so I think you should. This is what is wrong with western society, kids always thinking they can ignore traditional customs and culture and just do whatever they want. Australia should be a dictatorship to ensure you get married and start producing grandkids. Kudos to your girlfriend for living in Australia, this means you can have more than one child = more grandkids for your parents.

 

[nicky]

So who is going to say it.

This made me genuinely laugh out loud

 

[exbunobooga]

op your girlfriend is pregnant and worried what her parents will say bringing up a bastard child

 

[King Elvis]

Have you tried not hitting her?

It's left field, but it could work...


OP; how long have you been together?

No troll/arseh*le, but are there citizenship issues?

Tell her no; **** me, you're going to allow yourself to basically get blackmailed into marriage?

Say no, if she doesn't like it, say goodbye.

It's a stitchup.

 

[skilts]

She has an agenda. She doesn't see fit to share that agenda with you, therefore it can't be your agenda. She is lying to you, by omission. Not a good basis on which to conduct a relationship with your acquaintances, much less with the woman with whom you share, or hope to share, a bed. You will never trust her again if you allow this to happen.

 

[Aussiemac82]

All women are crazy emotional banshee's. OP needs to man up and say " Do you want a hand packing, you need professional help, now GTFO!"

Emotional blackmail works on pre-pubescent boys not men.

There is over 3 billion women in the world. Don't settle. Go out and enjoy finding another one... or two, who will respect your views and is willing to talk about LIFE changing decisions together, unless, you like being a submissive

 

[the fly]

Does she do that ping pong ball thing?

The OP should come home one day with a few mates, a couple of packets of ping pong balls, and a command that the likelihood of the contract being signed depends on his mates' satisfaction.

 

[CM86]

i am in a bit of tangle, my gf said to me yesterday that we should get a marriage certificate next yr in march b4 we go back to china to meet her folks and relative (she's already met mine).

my point to her was that it's too early, she should move in first get engaged after a while then moving onto the marriage phase. She was really stubborn about it and is not really willing to budge on her idea because she said she needs something that allows both of us to commit.

But i am really not okay with this. It just feels wrong about in many ways. That idea was spontaneous and felt rushed. I am not okay with this, my folks will definitely not be okay with this and her folks, well she hasn't really told her folks.

I don't how i am going to respond to her next time we meet My heart is tying up into a knot. While I do think she is the one but her idea came so suddenly and spontaneous and her stubborness is really not making this easy. What should i say man!?

You already know the answer, you are just looking for something to help you build up your confidence and strength.

The way you wrote your op, leaving out how long you have been together, the negative spin you put on all of it. It screams of being a bad situation, this all comes from how you are thinking about it. If you already think it is a bad idea, then you need to say no.

You could have worded it thusly "I am so happy, the girl who has my heart loves me so much she wants to be married within a year! I am so excited, but my friends say I should be engaged for a while first, what do you think?"

The point is, if you are uncomfortable with something then you shouldn't do it. If your lady really loves you, she wont leave you because of it. If she leaves you, then you dodged a bullet.

It is so hard to upset people, and it's even harder when they become upset not to give in, and let them have their way. It's hard to stay strong when a woman cries, and you have a solution to make then happy.. But with life changing situations like this, you need to be strong.

Honestly good luck, and just be strong. Stand by your decision no matter what!

 

[Alesana]

From what I'm told, my mother basically gave my father an ultimatum; marry me or move on. They got divorced after about 20 years but it was pretty much over for those last 4-5 years. So you wouldn't wanna be in that situation. I doubt there are many successful marriages that started with an ultimatum. This is just what happened in my family and may not apply to the OP however.

 

[Radical Roo]

hmmm, very good and honest feedbacks here bar a few. She has citizenship issues but that's not gonna affect her for a good 18 months. We've been going out for slight over 6 months. From her side of family, her mother has been very anxious, her father so so. Also her relatives wants her to move to United States but she doesn't want to.

 

[CM86]

From what I'm told, my mother basically gave my father an ultimatum; marry me or move on. They got divorced after about 20 years but it was pretty much over for those last 4-5 years. So you wouldn't wanna be in that situation. I doubt there are many successful marriages that started with an ultimatum. This is just what happened in my family and may not apply to the OP however.

This is the situation exactly. If there is any resentment leading into a long term relationship, there will always be the resentment, long after the relationship has ended.

hmmm, very good and honest feedbacks here bar a few. She has citizenship issues but that's not gonna affect her for a good 18 months. We've been going out for slight over 6 months. From her side of family, her mother has been very anxious, her father so so. Also her relatives wants her to move to United States but she doesn't want to.

I hope I am not a part of the "bar a few". I don't mean to be insulting.
My point is, if this is the situation you are in now, you will not be in a relationship with this lady in 7 years time. Do you really want to waste however many years with this person, just because you don't want to upset her?
At the end of the day, if you knew now that you were ready for a marriage with her, then you would not even be writing about this online. You wouldn't even question it with friends.
If it is what you wanted, you would go for it, and ignore everyone else. The fact that you thought about it long enough to still be considering it, is a sure sign that it isn't what you want, and that you should stand your ground and say "I am not ready yet"

 

[Radical Roo]

I do think she is the one but the spontaneous idea that she came up the one night b4 really upset me

 

[Dan Moody]

Lulz.
This thread veered off into a completely different direction 2 pages back, some of the posts are priceless.

 

[Simple Jack]

Well thanks to the Romans we have a magical concept known as divorce.

As long as you get the important legal stuff sorted beforehand (prenup etc) then it really makes little difference what you do. It becomes a pretty much no-lose choice.

 

[Affidavit]

Haha I said to my gf we're getting a prenup. Not a good idea. Haven't heard the end of it for months.

"yo don't love me, you don't believe in us" blah blah

 

[neng]

hmmm, very good and honest feedbacks here bar a few. She has citizenship issues but that's not gonna affect her for a good 18 months. We've been going out for slight over 6 months. From her side of family, her mother has been very anxious, her father so so. Also her relatives wants her to move to United States but she doesn't want to.

This is a deal breaker for mine. 6 months is minuscule compared to a lifetime together. It's all well and good getting married, but from my own experience, it is around about a year of being together where you find out what they are really like as a person, love can either flourish or die out.

I'm just speculating and I don't mean to offend, but I doubt you even really know her, and for her wanting to get married after this period of time not only seems clingy and wierd, it is also suspicious (depending on your age I suppose)

 

[Jordie_tackles]

Important facts we need to know -

Does she:

A) Cook well, bonus points for good asian foods
B) Clean

Also atleast she didnt propose by the sounds of things you would have said yes, and in a whole lot more trouble!!!

 

[Dont be a lemon]

as for your situation, RadicalRoo, I believe that the Peoples Republic of China demands that you get married so I think you should. This is what is wrong with western society, kids always thinking they can ignore traditional customs and culture and just do whatever they want. Australia should be a dictatorship to ensure you get married and start producing grandkids. Kudos to your girlfriend for living in Australia, this means you can have more than one child = more grandkids for your parents.

The People's Republic of China isn't a dictatorship.