Guys!! Help me......

[carlyp]

Ok heres the deal. In grade 12 I had a boyfriend. Lets call him....Mr X ok? Anyway, Mr X was my first real love and he was the first guy I ever well you know. I was with him for a year and then we broke up at the end of grade 12. We had a great relationship. I loved him, actually I probably still do love him in a way but anyway thats another story. The jist of the story is that the other day I got a phonecall from him and a follow up email. He is going to be in Hobart and he wants to catchup for drinks and maybe a meal. The thing is, Im not sure on how to do Drinks and a meal. I dont know how to behave, do I act like Im really excited to see him or do I play it cool. Its been 18 months since we broke up. i've moved on, I am loving it here in Hobart and I love uni and all my new mates and I love the college life. The other thing is, Ive been told by friends that he hates this job he has and that he is preety miserable. I dont want to be all happy and enthusiastic and make him feel worse but I do want to make sure he knows that I've moved on because I was kind of a mess when we broke up (lots of tears etc etc). What do I do and how do i do it?

 

[Fred]

Why do you have to "act" like anything? Just be the normal you, without any pretences.

 

[joshhem]

Just be really happy to see him. Sure you broke up and he might be going through a rough time, but if it makes him feel good for just an hour it's well worth it. Sometimes we behave differently to someone just to make them feel bad because we have a point to prove. (I'm not saying your doing that) But how stupid is it when we stew on things forever. Life's too short for that, you never know one of you might die the next day and then how would you's feel. So just have fun, smile and be a good mate to him.

 

[carlyp]

Your both right. Its silly for me to think that after 18 months that he will still be cut up about stuff that happened when we broke up. Im actually kind of excited now.......

 

[pazza]

You'll be fine.

Just go out and enjoy it

 

[carlyp]

Originally posted by pazza
You'll be fine.

Just go out and enjoy it

Thanks Pazza, Im sure I'll be fine. I cant talk like the wind, so there shouldnt be too many silences

 

[Basic]

Just wondering what team does he support?
It's a common interest if for some reason you have nothing else to talk about fall back on things your sure he'd want to hear about that have nothing to do with either how bad or how good each of your lives are turning out.
Awhile ago I met up with an ex girlfriend by total luck, she gave me her number but I never ended up calling because I didn't have a clue what to say, If I'd known who she supported I could of found something to talk about. Just my luck she'd probably be a Freo supporter anyways

 

[carlyp]

Originally posted by Basic
Just wondering what team does he support?
It's a common interest if for some reason you have nothing else to talk about fall back on things your sure he'd want to hear about that have nothing to do with either how bad or how good each of your lives are turning out.
Awhile ago I met up with an ex girlfriend by total luck, she gave me her number but I never ended up calling because I didn't have a clue what to say, If I'd known who she supported I could of found something to talk about. Just my luck she'd probably be a Freo supporter anyways

He's a bomber supporter- thats a great idea. Im sure he will want to rub it in that his team beat mine.

 

[skilts]

Your old boyfriend is a unique male. I've never met a man who wanted just drinks and dinner, but that could just be me.

The fear I'd have, given the pain you went through at the breakup, would be that seeing him would **** with your head and bring up unpleasant memories for you. I can understand you would be tempted to see him again, but I'd be asking, "What's in it for me?" Sounds like you don't need any more pain.

He may NOT be trying to inflict pain deliberately, but he might do so inadvertantly. The thing to be said in his favour would be that maybe you're the only person he knows in Tassie. And I didn't mean that sentence to sound quite like that.

 

[carlyp]

Originally posted by skilts
Your old boyfriend is a unique male. I've never met a man who wanted just drinks and dinner, but that could just be me.

The fear I'd have, given the pain you went through at the breakup, would be that seeing him would **** with your head and bring up unpleasant memories for you. I can understand you would be tempted to see him again, but I'd be asking, "What's in it for me?" Sounds like you don't need any more pain.

He may NOT be trying to inflict pain deliberately, but he might do so inadvertantly. The thing to be said in his favour would be that maybe you're the only person he knows in Tassie. And I didn't mean that sentence to sound quite like that.

Well thats what I think, I am rather suspicious but hey you cant go making any judgements just yet can we?
Im over all of it now and Im positive that seeing this guy wont make me cry and get upset. Im positive. I wouldnt agree to see him if I thought Id get upset.
Well no, he still has all his school pals around, so Im not the only one he knows here in Tassie

 

[Squeak]

There is a simple phrase that I can almost guarantee you that this guy has in his head:

Wine 'em, dine 'em, 69 'em.

 

[carlyp]

Originally posted by Squeak
There is a simple phrase that I can almost guarantee you that this guy has in his head:

Wine 'em, dine 'em, 69 'em.

 

[sabre_ac]

Originally posted by Squeak
There is a simple phrase that I can almost guarantee you that this guy has in his head:

Wine 'em, dine 'em, 69 'em.

Bingo
Ex's are a great source if its been a while since u got any.

 

[carlyp]

Originally posted by sabre_ac
Bingo
Ex's are a great source if its been a while since u got any.

Hmmm well he wont be getting 'any' of me!

 

[sabre_ac]

Originally posted by carlyp
Hmmm well he wont be getting 'any' of me!

I would put money on it that part of his plans invovle getting some.

 

[Jars458]

Originally posted by sabre_ac
I would put money on it that part of his plans invovle getting some.

There would almost certainly be a hope that it would happen on his behalf

Unless he is not like the rest of us.

Doesn't mean he will be upset if he doesn't or that he doesn't genuinely want to catch up with Carlyfor other reasons of course.

There's always just that slight hope though. After all its all that we think about

Microwaved a few in my time.

 

[Squeak]

For only one of my exes if I saw them I would not have that thought in the back of the mind, and that's because she likes the pussy now.

All the others (not that there's a multitude of them) I would hold some hope of reopening old physical wounds, so to speak.

 

[Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk]

guys are bastards

does that dinner rule also apply for "wanna go out for coffee" and now its "wanna go out for ice-cream" after i said i don't drink coffee

 

[sabre_ac]

Originally posted by Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk
guys are bastards

does that dinner rule also apply for "wanna go out for coffee" and now its "wanna go out for ice-cream" after i said i don't drink coffee

Yes and chicks are self absorbed shallow creatures, what can I say.
We both have our faults.

 

[Katthawk]

Carlyp, I can't help but get the impression that you kinda like the idea that he's called you up again.

If you didn't want him back in SOME way then you would not even go out for dinner. I mean coffee or a day time thing would be better.

Hell, the guy's playing the misery card just to have a chance of something on a holiday with his mates. (maybe)

I have this thing about exes just getting together as friends. Just be careful. Something always comes back to haunt you.

 

[Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk]

Originally posted by Katthawk

I have this thing about exes just getting together as friends. Just be careful. Something always comes back to haunt you.

coz they want ****buddies, something i am totally against.

 

[Longboysfan]

Originally posted by Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk
coz they want ****buddies, something i am totally against.

I think the **** buddies covers it.

 

[Slax]

A drink in your case carlyp could mean just that. I know I do catch up with a couple of exes for a drink once in a while. The meal part has me stumped though. Any bloke willing to go to all the trouble of a meal rather than a souvlaki has alteria motives about what he wants from the night.

I'd say take him down to Salamanca Place on a Friday night and have a chat let and let him try and pick up someone else there.

 

[Katthawk]

Originally posted by sabre_ac
Yes and chicks are self absorbed shallow creatures, what can I say.
We both have our faults.

Sorry, couldn't let this pass by.

Sabre, glad to know YOU know YOU'RE not perfect. Welcome to the adult world.

 

[carlyp]

Originally posted by Katthawk
Carlyp, I can't help but get the impression that you kinda like the idea that he's called you up again.

If you didn't want him back in SOME way then you would not even go out for dinner. I mean coffee or a day time thing would be better.

Hell, the guy's playing the misery card just to have a chance of something on a holiday with his mates. (maybe)

I have this thing about exes just getting together as friends. Just be careful. Something always comes back to haunt you.

I know what your saying but I think I can behave myself and have JUST dinner with him. I really value him as a friend, he's the type of bloke that you want as a friend. I am glad that he rang me because Id like to think that we can be friends. I doubt we will because the physical side of things always gets in the way but hey a girl can die trying!