- Jul 18, 2012
- 24,999
- 52,532
- AFL Club
- Richmond
- Other Teams
- Everton, Mount Buller Demons
- Moderator
- #1
I recently had the opportunity to speak with 80% of fans favourite player about his time in the league, with a specific focus on what he is best known for; kicking goals. And lots of them. More goals than anyone has ever kicked before. More goals than his rival okeydoke7 and Sin City Swamprats captain philreich have kicked combined. Oh, my dearest apologies to philreich. I only include you because I felt it would be a way to cheer Tarkyn_24 up after your club squeezed a premiership from him last season. I am certain you will understand, and do hope you forgive me for that comment.
The first thing I asked Tarkyn_24 was if he could reflect on some of the leagues best goal kickers throughout the last 29 seasons - Fred, okeydoke7, winty, lioness, Mooch, iBeng, and the like - and let me know where he believes he stands in the mix of these incredible names. There are undoubtedly some fantastic names left off of the above list. If you are upset about it; kick some more goals and win some more Fred Medals.
With no hesitation (actually, it took 2 months to dig this out of him, but when you ask the big-time players questions, you just wait and sit back with a smile) and an immense amount of confidence, here was his response:
"I am definitely the best. I hold the record for Fred Medals, and before this season actually had a resoundingly good strike rate in performing during seasons where I spent the whole year at full forward. My best memories though stem from the rivalries and competitions that you do establish with others. Okeydoke and Mooch are probably my favourite career opponents in the sense that you share the experience of playing full forward and your performance really being on the whim of the simulator on any given day, and both are great fun to talk sh*t with."
- Tarkyn_24
A LONG ROAD
It has been quite the journey for the leagues leading goalkicker. A journey of many games, goals and accomplishments. - Tarkyn_24
A LONG ROAD
At 960 goals (R09, S30), Tarkyn_24 is a long way from where he started. Obviously! Tarkyn_24 made his debut in Season 07 for the Mount Buller Demons. It was nothing to write home about, picking up just the 8 disposals and putting no goals on the board. He most certainly did not start out as a goal-kicking machine, as he will tell you about the early part of his Sweet F.A career:
"The move to goalscoring extraordinaire from ruck-utility wasn't by design, no. I signed up to the competition as a ruck option, and when recruited actually came off the bench for my debut. I ended up playing everywhere a bit in my first season, but I think probably settled as a midfielder/centre half forward swingman, which is as unlikely a combination as you'll ever see "
- Tarkyn_24
- Tarkyn_24
It was not until his move to the East Side Hawks in Season 10, after 61 games for the Mount Buller Demons that he began to find his way as a forward:
"When I shifted to the Hawks, a move which had been in the pipeline for quite a few seasons, I was walking into one of the stronger SFA outfits with an entrenched pecking order. While the environment was fantastic, I recall spending quite a while playing between the half forward and back flanks, before YOTC, himself a goalscoring legend, vacated his spot. I discovered how easy goalscoring actually was... "
- @Tarkyn_24
- @Tarkyn_24
If you are like me, you read the above statement, had to take a moment, slide your chair back from your desk in absolute shock at what you have read. Tarkyn_24 just went ahead and said that goalscoring is easy. This guy has kicked 125 more points than anyone in the history of the competition, and he wants to sit here and tell everyone how easy goalscoring is. An absolute genius of a comment.
Tarkyn_24 has put on a clinic at three separate clubs in his time.
It would be somewhat unfair to talk about goal kickers and not insert the very humble okeydoke7 into the conversation somewhere.
"One regret I do have is that I didn't give the Demons my complete and utter attention as captain, and maybe continue to lead them for a much longer period of time than I did. The growth of the club under Beloved was phenomenal and though I don't regret for a season going to the Hawks it would've also been nice to have enjoyed that. "
- Tarkyn_24
Tarkyn_24 played 191 games for the East Side Hawks, netting himself two Fred Medals; Season 12 (57), and then again in Season 16 (86). After a brilliant stint at the East Side Hawks, Tarkyn_24 decided it was time to go to the Fighting Furies. I should have asked him about the Fighting Furies, but failed to do so. Oops! So I will tell you that he was good, real good. 277 goals good. Then he was terrible because he decided he wanted to return to the club he made his debut for. That was a lie. He has been far from terrible; he has slotted home 255 goals, and won the Season 27 Fred Medal for the Mount Buller Demons in his current stint.
As a current player for the Fighting Furies, I will speak on behalf of the club;
Tarkyn_24 was the best full forward the club has ever had*, we miss him deeply and thank him for his services.
1,000 GOALS
Everyone loves a milestone. Except for when someone posts a media thread only for the good people of this league to open the thread up to find out someone is playing their 34th game. How impressive those threads and players are! Let us talk about some real milestones. Ones that have some real oomph behind them. Tarkyn_24 became the first player to knock off 500 goals, and every 100 goal milestone subsequent to that, and is now set to knock off the big one... 1,000 goals.
It is a rather momentous season for the league. 30 seasons. What would be more special than Tarkyn_24 chasing down the record no one has yet to reach, becoming the first player to kick 1,000 goals. As Season 29 ended, I had a look at the goalkicking table, and as always, Tarkyn_24 was atop the list on 936 goals. For the 200th+ week. The league was abuzz with anticipation as to where he would line up in Season 30.
64 goals to chase down? Surely that is doable. No one since DREAM TEAM BUFF in Season 19 has kicked less than 64 goals to win the Fred Medal. It would have been a great travesty if his captain were to not even give him a chance at reaching this milestone.
After a horrific, shock Grand Final loss, there would have to be some change, but was it ever going to be the change that no one wanted? Mount Buller Demons Captain manangatang graciously accepted a request for comment on the matter:
"The club had plenty of soul-searching to do after our second GF loss in a row, and every position was up for grabs.
Tarks vaguely offered to play somewhere else, but then sort of went quiet and then pretended he didn't offer to move at all. That, combined with a lack of real desire to change anything in case it buffed our vibe, and here we are with Tarks at Full Forward again.
I think anything is possible for Tarks. If my maths is correct, we're saying that he needs to kick 4 goals per game across the home and away season, and I think that's achievable, so long as everyone stays out of his way.
I say 'home and away season' because Tarks doesn't really like to kick goals during finals. We've sort of found that out in the last couple of seasons."
- manangatang
Tarks vaguely offered to play somewhere else, but then sort of went quiet and then pretended he didn't offer to move at all. That, combined with a lack of real desire to change anything in case it buffed our vibe, and here we are with Tarks at Full Forward again.
I think anything is possible for Tarks. If my maths is correct, we're saying that he needs to kick 4 goals per game across the home and away season, and I think that's achievable, so long as everyone stays out of his way.
I say 'home and away season' because Tarks doesn't really like to kick goals during finals. We've sort of found that out in the last couple of seasons."
- manangatang
Tarkyn_24, well, is not so confident. At least not today:
“I didn't when you sent me these questions but after seeing just how much of a plodder I've been over the course of the first two months I'm certain I can't now. While disappointing, that's how the sim rolls and I'll reload to get there next season.”
– Tarkyn_24
– Tarkyn_24
An out-of-form Full Forward who is playing for a club struggling to stay inside the Top 8 on the Sweet F.A Ladder. How gloomy this article has become. It is an achievement that is increasingly looking like will not be knocked over before the conclusion of this season. If he does not start to pull it together soon, I may be back here in a few months writing a thread about how okeydoke7 is set to get to 1,000 goals first. Only after he writes 9 of his own threads about it.
Whether Tarkyn_24 gets there this season or next, or whenever it may be, he is fairly safe in claiming he is definitely the best.
It is an achievement that we will continue to track and analyze with the greatest of excitement and enthusiasm.
INTRODUCING TARKY_STARS
And track it we shall… Below is a table with the statistics for this season for the all-time leading goalkicker. Accompanying this table is a brand new rating system: Tarky_Stars!
How does the Tarky_Stars rating system work?
I will tell you just that. We are reinventing the wheel here. Tarkyn_24 will be awarded 0-5 (-5 is also a rating!) Tarky_Stars based on his performance for each match. I bet you are thinking that there is some impressive modelling behind the allocation of these stars. You could not be any more wrong. It entirely depends on how I feel. I will be reviewing each of his games to keep the league updated on his progress towards 1,000 goals.
As you can see, Tarkyn_24 has been poor this season. Very poor. 24 goals. What an absolute disaster.
A LETTER TO TARKYN_24
Dear Tarkyn_24,
I write to you to express my extreme displeasure with you as of this moment in time.
I have been made aware that you have kicked 24 goals in 9 Rounds of Qooty. This is uncharacteristic of your good self. You are most certainly capable of much more. It would be of great satisfaction to see you return to your former glory.
Life is rather ordinary for many at the moment. The Sweet F.A has become a great escape for many over the years, but right now the Sin City Swamprats are on a 7 game winning streak. We are going to have Mr. Democracy or Mr. Club HoF badges as our next Administrator. The Filth Wizard and Sab22 are 1-2 in the Fred Medal. The Dragons FFC are in the Top 8. The Gumbies FFC got a pena- nevermind, that one is alright.
Do you see how depressing this season is?
I would like to make a request that you kindly pull your head out of the sand and start kicking some goals. Come on!
Much love,
Hate
Hate
This was pieced together through two interviews; Tarkyn_24 and managatang. I would like to thank them both for their contributions and will be posting the full interviews in the following posts.
