Media I Am Definitely The Best - S31 - Our Best Friends Best Friend Is Our Enemy :hug:

[Wacky Tiger]

You are the best Hate

 

[ant555]

who?

Some forward reaping the rewards of his hard working midfielders.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

Please get bored more often Hate. Outstanding.

I'm rooting for you Tarkyn_24

 

[Agent93]

At the start of this article I was excited that a once in a lifetime milestone was near. But then I got to:

At 960 goals (R09, S30)

And now I am filled with seething disappointment and am questioning motives. What does Hate seek to gain from this seemingly self-less promotion of Tarks? Is his recent announcement that he has contracted COVID-19 merely a hoax or will he die within three weeks, given his age and weight?

 

[JackBero]

Tarkyn_24 you would be even better if you came to the furries

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Tarkyn_24 you would be even better if you came to the furries

Yes manangatang doesn’t use me properly

 

[Riviat]

Go and get tarksed

 

[JackBero]

Yes manangatang doesn’t use me properly

Callums_Guns another reason you need me up the mountain to lead you

 

[Callums_Guns]

Callums_Guns another reason you need me up the mountain to lead you

Im getting excited about next season already, DemonJim will finally be moved

Hopefully next season you put Tarks 1 out in the 50 and put Headless as ruck

 

[JackBero]

Im getting excited about next season already, DemonJim will finally be moved

Hopefully next season you put Tarks 1 out in the 50 and put Headless as ruck

ill keep Headless on his beloved bench, then become a simmer and rig the sh*t out of it so they have to put him in the All-SFA team

 

[Callums_Guns]

ill keep Headless on his beloved bench, then become a simmer and rig the sh*t out of it so they have to put him in the All-SFA team

His media is fantastic, likewise his stats he is a proven match winner.
You just need him to post in the match threads and a ALL-SFA blazer is a sure thing

However this thread is all about Tarks - hope he kicks 40 tomorrow

 

[JackBero]

His media is fantastic, likewise his stats he is a proven match winner.
You just need him to post in the match threads and a ALL-SFA blazer is a sure thing

However this thread is all about Tarks - hope he kicks 40 tomorrow

yes we cant forget about our main man
TARKSSSSS

 

[Yakker]

Tarks

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Tarks, Tarks, Tarks.

Where is the Sweet FA's cheerful chap?

 

[I Dont Care]

I don't even know what this is about, so I voted know

 

[serial_thrilla]

Only 1.2 for Tarkyn_24 this week. How many TarkyStars is that Hate?

 

[Hate]

ROUND 10 TARKY_STARS REPORT
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It seems that a front-page spray by the media has not done the job in inspiring any confidence in Tarkyn_24.

A dismal performance for Tarkyn_24; 3 disposals resulting in 1 Goal, 2 Behinds. Van_Dyke, who would not know a goal if it hit him in the face managed to kick one more goal than that, and fewer behinds as well. This effort went a long way in ensuring his team was smashed by 39 points by a dominant Roys FFC outfit who were sitting just the one spot above the Mount Buller Demons on the ladder.

The Half Back for the Fighting Furies has been in talks, or so he says, with Ant Bear about going on loan to the Dragons FFC for four matches. manangatang might be in the inbox of The Filth Wizard, who kicked 9 goals -1 more than the Mount Buller Demons- today to come down and just give Tarkyn_24 a little refresher on how to play at Full Forward.

• In what was a very slow day for both, Allikat exposed Tarkyn_24's frailties. - 41m from 48 to 89.
• Spending most of the game pushing and shoving each other, Tarkyn_24 either broke even with Roylion or vaguely bested him - it was hard to tell. - 24m from 4 to 28.

Let me write a better report: Tarkyn_24 was absolutely smashed, and you only need to look at the column starting with 'G' and the column ending with 'B' to figure that out.

With around ten minutes to play in the final term, Tarkyn_24 blew a shot from 30 metres out directly in front to bring the margin back to 38 points. If he had of kicked it, his club still probably would have lost. So at least he was NOT the only player who had a poor day.

TARKY_STARS AWARDED:

(0.5)

The committee of one has decided that this performance is worthy of half a Tarky_Star.


WHERE TARKYN_24 IS AT:

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Having just 64 goals to run down at the beginning of the season to reach 1,000 goals, this is where everyone's (80%, now down to 75%. Could be back above 80% next week if a good game) favourite Qootyballer sits.
Having trouble underrstanding it? We had some fans write in with their interpretation of how things are looking:

'A long way back, starting to look bleak.'
'It needs to be longer.'
'Like the conditions of the match, RAINY with a chance of 'I think we are screwed.'
'He is definitely the best and can turn it around.'

Come on Tarkyn_24, we believe you can get back to your good form soon!

​

 

[Tarkyn_24]

I’d just like to thank everyone who believes in me. I’ll let you down

 

[The Half Back]

We love Tarks!

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

I’d just like to thank everyone who believes in me. I’ll let you down

I think you have a game coming up against the Wonders. Suspect you will give us a thorough smiting.

I am looking forward to regular Hate updates

 

[philreich]

960 - it's an extraordinary number:

* The number of goals kicked by Tarkyn_24.
* The number of premiership points lost by the Gumbies.

Well done Tarks.

 

[The Half Back]

960 - it's an extraordinary number:

* The number of goals kicked by Tarkyn_24.
* The number of premiership points lost by the Gumbies.

Well done Tarks.

Number of premierships claimed by Port Adelaide.

 

[serial_thrilla]

Hi there Hate. How did Tarkyn_24 go this round? I certainly haven't checked the results from his thread.

 

[TJASTA]

Tarks is cool I guess

 

[Hate]

ROUND 11 TARKY_STARS REPORT
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At the start of the week, I was rather worried.

I had just penned a thread giving Tarkyn_24 the greatest spray ever seen given to a Full Forward in this league. So, how would it look if the very next Round in the Sweet F.A he comes out and puts on an absolute clinic and puts through ten big ones against me and my side? Well, not me, I would lay blame to whoever was playing on him. That would have been a milestone man, tigland. I will tell you how it would look. Bad. Very bloody bad.

What relief, because our friend Tarkyn_24 did not even show up to the ground to play today! That is right. Zero. Zero sight of Tarkyn_24. Zero here. Zero there. Zero everywhere in his statistics.

Here is a list of things missing in the Sweet F.A. Now we can add Tarkyn_24 to it, because he HAS GONE MISSING.

​

He has gone more missing than AceAndy. This is incredible. Poor manangatang has had to get flyers printed because his Full Forward has absolutely VANISHED without a trace. tigland gets sent to Full Back and Tarkyn_24 said 'I will be having absolutely nothing to do with that!' As result, his club, the Mount Buller Demons suffered a 78 point defeat!

Please, if you could, join the search effort for our dear friend and favourite goal kicker. Share this on Qocial media and the like.


TARKY_STARS AWARDED:

(-15)

The committee of one has decided that this performance is worthy of minus FIFTEEN Tarky_Stars.


WHERE TARKYN_24 IS AT:

The best part of putting out this report: I did not even have to spend time updating the above graphic. Cheers Tarkyn_24!

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