Family & Relationships I need help

[Piss Poor]

Ok I have a huge problem with my sister.

She is nearly 30 and since she was 18, finished school and she pretty much has been on centrelink.

I think I've only seen her hold a job for max 2 weeks and that was like once, maybe twice tops since she was 18. yeah 12 years.

I know that sounds really bad but she is extremely shy and negitive when it comes to work and in life.

Now here is the problem, She's now about to be breached from centrelink and will have no money.

Because I own the house she is living in, I had to tell her to do something about it and either get a job or beg to stay on centrelink.
what ever- she can't live for free- it's not fair on me and my parents who also live in the property.

When I told her, she had a massive cry and is now depressed, even talking about suicide.

I'm treading on thin ice but I still have this problem, She needs to pay rent and living expenses- it's life.

What can I do people.

 

[Dazb86]

What's the breach for?

 

[Piss Poor]

What's the breach for?

She missed an appointment.

 

[Igloo]

She missed an appointment.

Wow, that is a bit far for a missed appointment.
Can't she just go in, reschedule the appointment, and then it will all be fine?

 

[Piss Poor]

Wow, that is a bit far for a missed appointment.
Can't she just go in, reschedule the appointment, and then it will all be fine?

I don't know, I think it was for a job agency

 

[anti_]

does she have some sort of social disorder?

not being able to hold a job for more than 2 weeks due to shyness or whatever for 12 years is pretty astounding.

you have yourself a predicament.

 

[Piss Poor]

does she have some sort of social disorder?

not being able to hold a job for more than 2 weeks due to shyness or whatever for 12 years is pretty astounding.

you have yourself a predicament.

Yep it's a dozy, I would say she would have a social disorder.

 

[St 07]

Is she single?

 

[Poseidon]

Find her a schlub and marry her off.

PM me.

 

[Coledinho]

Some real advice. Get some documents and apply for a different form of payment ie. disability due to mental health. They will set up another interview, she can explain her situation to a different section of the Centrelink system and id assume if its like most normal cases she would have her payments reinstated

 

[The_Reaper]

Mental health would be the way to go, especially with those levels of social disfunction.

 

[TheSituation23]

Mate get her on the DSP ( a pension for the disabled ) quick smart. should have no issues unless she is just honestly not wanting to work. feel for you bro

 

[Andre]

Because I own the house she is living in, I had to tell her to do something about it and either get a job or beg to stay on centrelink.
what ever- she can't live for free- it's not fair on me and my parents who also live in the property.

Did you inherit the house from your folks as the competent one or they sold their's and moved in with you and the sister came in tow? If it's the latter how old was she when she moved in?

There are plenty of jobs out there that shy people can do. If she's just lazy sit down as a family and state she's got 3 months to either find a job or move out. And to move out within 12 months regardless. FFS it's a sibling. I wouldn't have wanted my brothers staying permanently at my place at 30, paying rent or not.

 

[JuddsABlue]

I think we'll need some pics before we can go ahead here

But in the interim, it sounds like shes mega lazy. I know a few people that just cant hold a job, for a 1000 reasons, every job they have they just quit because the stress is too much, the conditions are horrible, the people are terrible, etc etc.

You could be a bit of an enabler, so whatever you do, dont give her anything when the breach is enforced and shes got no money, must learn the hard way

Eventually she'll be dying in the rain of starvation and might try to get a job then, but you've got to let her get there.

 

[Crimson Azure]

She missed an appointment.

Can't be.

You have to miss 3 appointments with your JSA provider within a six month period without an acceptable excuse to get an 8 week suspension in payments.

If she missed an appointment with Centrelink they may stop her appointments until she reconnects with them.

If she failed to attend a job interview organised byt her JSA provider she can be breached & lose payments for that but again only for 8 weeks.

If she has been on the system for 8 years she would know the system better than that & I dare say milking the system too.

Get her to do a course or vol work so she gets used to people again.

Few holes in the story, what exactly is the breach for?

 

[hayes]

Some people just don't like the idea of working like everyone else has to. I have a friend who's very similiar. He finds jobs every now and then but can't be bothered working for more than 2 weeks and goes back on centerlink. Try and find out if she has a mental illness and if not tell her she's going to have to suck it up and work like everyone else has to.

 

[Lance Uppercut]

Ok I have a huge problem with my sister.

She is nearly 30 and since she was 18, finished school and she pretty much has been on centrelink.

I think I've only seen her hold a job for max 2 weeks and that was like once, maybe twice tops since she was 18. yeah 12 years.

I know that sounds really bad but she is extremely shy and negitive when it comes to work and in life.

Now here is the problem, She's now about to be breached from centrelink and will have no money.

Because I own the house she is living in, I had to tell her to do something about it and either get a job or beg to stay on centrelink.
what ever- she can't live for free- it's not fair on me and my parents who also live in the property.

When I told her, she had a massive cry and is now depressed, even talking about suicide.

I'm treading on thin ice but I still have this problem, She needs to pay rent and living expenses- it's life.

What can I do people.

do you live in Ballarat?

 

[Mancey]

lol....

 

[savagelunchbox]

You claim that she's saying things about suicide. In the 12yrs she's been a centrelink frequent flyer, has she ever said these sort of things before? If not, call her bluff. If she hasn't said anything about being suicidal she is saying it now because she wants sympathy and pity. Don't give her any and due the polar opposite and be harder on her and threaten to kick her lazy ass out.


P.S say hi to Susan for me.

 

[drd23]

If she's depressed, she should see a doctor. Doubly so if she is truly suicidal

 

[powerful girl]

If she's depressed, she should see a doctor. Doubly so if she is truly suicidal

Agree, if she is depressed then she needs help urgently and once she gets help the rest will sort itself out in regards to Centrelink as she will be eligible for an exemption from looking for work and may qualify for a different payment.

BUT, assuming there is no medical issue, and she is just being sad, lazy and anti-social I would be explaining to her that there is not a Salvation Army sign above the door, and that she is expected to pay her way, one way or another and that you expect her to take the appropriate actions to contribute financially to the household.

If she does not contribute fairly she will no longer continue to have the benefits of living there - simple!. Give her a deadline and stick to it, do not become her funder and do not let her off the hook, she is used to bludging so it will come easy to her to bludge some more, and she won't care who she bludges off. After all she probably thinks that you are really lucky because you have lots of money and everything and it is only fair that you give her some!!

You are not helping her in the long run, and even though the whole "getting a job and supporting yourself" thing is just too big for her to deal with, but deal with it she must.

What the hell do your parents have to say about this? are they ok with it /expecting you to tolerate it / bludgers themselves / in a coma ???

 

[Doctor Feel]

Best thing you can do is kick her out. If shes any kind of person, she will then be forced to work and develop a proper routine, or end up back on centrelink living elsewhere.

Sometimes you just need to give them no options, regardless of how you truely feel about it. Tough love.

 

[Stone in sock]

How did she miss the appointment , not like she's busy .

 

[ThePuppetMaster]

I wouldn't cut her off or kick her out if she's talking about suicide.

It doesn't matter if she's bluffing, you don't want that on your conscious.

Get her to a psychologist, it helps a lot of people.

 

[skilts]

To not want to work is no indication of mental illness. Quite the contrary, in fact.