"Jeffrey, darling, bring your secateurs over here."

[Piston]

Scene: Kennett Family rhododendron garden, by the pond outside the west wing.

Jeff is crouched on a knee inspecting the rhododendrons. He appears wearied from the time spent, in silence, at the helm of an AFL behemoth spanning two states.

He is glad for the respite offered by a good prune, the peristaltic pleasure that comes from the feel of secateurs in his effeminate hands.

Snip.

Morning sun penetrates the clouds and, as the warmth washes over him, he peers left to see Felicity - dressed only in her poo and wee intimate apparel - rocking mischievously on the garden swing.

Snip.

"Jeffrey, darling, bring your secateurs over here."

 

[Vtorians]

Scene: Kennett Family rhododendron garden, by the pond outside the west wing.

Jeff is crouched on a knee inspecting the rhododendrons. He appears wearied from the time spent, in silence, at the helm of an AFL behemoth spanning two states.

He is glad for the respite offered by a good prune, the peristaltic pleasure that comes from the feel of secateurs in his effeminate hands.

Snip.

Morning sun penetrates the clouds and, as the warmth washes over him, he peers left to see Felicity - dressed only in her poo and wee intimate apparel - rocking mischievously on the garden swing.

Snip.

"Jeffrey, darling, bring your secateurs over here."

Stuff you i just had joint & know i can't stop laughing

 

[SexyBlueGirl]

Good start. So what happens when he takes secateurs to her or is this like one of those open ended dealies?

 

[SA1NTER]

Haha, garden.

 

[Pie eyed]

Rough Brazilian......

 

[maxmustard]

Great start, this has some serious potential.

 

[Bosk]

This could get rather interesting.


Incidentally I've always felt Felicity is pretty hot for an older woman.

 

[Piston]

In the annuls of time, not too many have enjoyed administering a decent cutback as much as Jeff. But this time the rhododendrons would wait.

He walked slowly over to his pendular bride, who grinned naughtily as she saw Jeffrey's resolve stiffen. She was an al fresco temptress and he, her boofhead garden lover.

The secateurs d'amor felt heavy in his little hand. Jeff reached out to her less than bounteous chest, the stainless steel jaws of his secateurs gaping.

Snip.

Felicity heaved and sighed as her gravity bags kissed the morning sun. Jeffrey was is a rare state of arousal, and he had Tasmania on his mind.

Later, when he would tell the tale of that fateful day on the Scotch College speaking circuit, the magnitude of his excitement was often embellished.

Jeff dropped to both knees to embark on the Spirit of Tasmania.

Snip.

He quickly realised, despite Felicity's moans, that no man could trim this Launceston hedge with mere secateurs.

"Felicity?"

"Yes, Jeffrey?"

"I'm going to the shed."

 

[Bodicifer]

 

[vjknight]

This could get rather interesting.


Incidentally I've always felt Felicity is pretty hot for an older woman.

does this help or hinder the image of her you have bosk ?

 

[SexyBlueGirl]

WTH is happening to Kennet's face. Those massive canals running down his face?

Caused by too many tears running down his face from picking Hodge over Judd.

 

[Pessimistic]

If flickas still got hair down there, shes probably the only woman in boroondara who has

 

[Geelong Dynasty]

She is a Cat Supporter, so she would not be seen in Poo 'n Wee, but she would proudly show you her minge

 

[Bosk]

does this help or hinder the image of her you have bosk ?

Well vjknight she's getting on a bit in years now, but twenty or even ten years ago I'd say she would've been a decent candidate for a meaningful 24 hour relationship.

As far as women her age go I think she's doing pretty well for herself.

 

[vjknight]

As far as women her age go I think she's doing pretty well for herself.

cos she has a celebrity hubby ??

 

[Piston]

Jeff took his sweet ****ing time selecting a tool and returning to Her. By the time he got back the only trace of Felicity was a low moaning sound; Launceston had grown like member numbers at a canine orgy.

"Felicity?"

"Mmmm"

"Felicity!"

Jeff was worried - it was unlike her to self-pleasure given she had such brutish manhood at her disposal. Yet he couldn't see anything through the Tasmanian wilderness. Man, did he get a-snippin'.

Jeff began to perspire 5 snips in; after 10 he could taste the lactic acid in the back of his mouth. When he broke through, Jeff was aghast to find Felicity grinding on top of...Matthew Lloyd.

 

[David the Cat]

Jeff took his sweet ****ing time selecting a tool and returning to Her. By the time he got back the only trace of Felicity was a low moaning sound; Launceston had grown like member numbers at a canine orgy.

"Felicity?"

"Mmmm"

"Felicity!"

Jeff was worried - it was unlike her to self-pleasure given she had such brutish manhood at her disposal. Yet he couldn't see anything through the Tasmanian wilderness. Man, did he get a-snippin'.

Jeff began to perspire 5 snips in; after 10 he could taste the lactic acid in the back of his mouth. When he broke through, Jeff was aghast to find Felicity grinding on top of...Matthew Lloyd.

Clearly easily pleased.


PS: Great work Piston...unlike Felicity, I need more!

 

[Stronzo]

Subbed.

 

[The Mighty Boosh]

Lloyd was obviously faking, yet what did he have to gain this time from his infamous diving?

 

[Piston]

His arms aching, the weakling could only stand on a ladder watching and wailing from over the hedge as the Essendon champion gave Felicity the Velvet Sledgehammer.

"Stop this at once! It is inappropriate behaviour!" commanded Jeff. He then climbed down his ladder to fetch his trusty sidearm.

"Don't stop! Don't stop!" screeched Felicity.

"Can I stand over here while you do all the work?" asked Chance Bateman, who was now working as a cosmetician and had arrived at the wrong address to give a facial, missing his target as usual.

"Can we have a crack, too?" asked Paul Barnard and Micky Symons, sticking their heads up from behind a nearby shrub, like meercats.

"No," Big Matty replied. "I've got it under control."

Regardless of one's opinion of the veracity of Lloyd's diving, it must be agreed he was a fine technician. And, as Felicity would later attest, he still is.

She didn't even notice that he slighlty over-rotated, causing a bit of splash. Bateman, too, scored it well.

Jeff was back with his musket, and Brad Sewell for some muscle.