cliffdrabble
Cancelled
- Sep 1, 2018
- 453
- 645
- AFL Club
- Collingwood
What do you get when you cross a penis with a silicon chip?
A prick who knows everything
What's the difference between a dead skunk in the middle of the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road?
There are skid marks in front of the skunk
What do you call a woman who can stretch her vaginal lips from one side of a tennis court to the other?
Annette
Did you hear about the Trump supporter who locked his keys in the car?
Took him 2 hours to get his family out
What does Madonna put behind her ears to attract men?
Her ankles
What is the difference between a bull terrier humping your leg and a poodle humping your leg?
You let the bull terrier finish
What's more dangerous than a bull terrier with Aids?
The bloke who gave it to him.
What does a blonde say after making love?
So are all you guys from the same hockey team
If an Englishman with 11 sons has enough for a cricket team and an American with 15 sons has enough for gridiron team, what has an Arab with 18 wives got enough for?
A golf course
Why shouldn't you pee in the shower?
It confuses the plumbing
How can you tell if your girlfriend is really fat?
When she sits on your face and you can't hear the stereo
My girlfriend is really ugly, she's a redhead. No hair. just a red head. She is very overweight as well but that's ok, she has just been offered a job as a decoy for the whaling fleet.
And to finish with a famous quote from Woody Allen "Don't knock masturbation, at least it is sex with somebody you love" and Bette Midler about Madonna "the only thing that girl will do like a virgin, is to give birth in a stable'
Two vomits were walking down the road when 1 of them spotted a familiar looking house. Turning to his friend he proudly declares 'look that's the house I was brought up in".
A prick who knows everything
What's the difference between a dead skunk in the middle of the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road?
There are skid marks in front of the skunk
What do you call a woman who can stretch her vaginal lips from one side of a tennis court to the other?
Annette
Did you hear about the Trump supporter who locked his keys in the car?
Took him 2 hours to get his family out
What does Madonna put behind her ears to attract men?
Her ankles
What is the difference between a bull terrier humping your leg and a poodle humping your leg?
You let the bull terrier finish
What's more dangerous than a bull terrier with Aids?
The bloke who gave it to him.
What does a blonde say after making love?
So are all you guys from the same hockey team
If an Englishman with 11 sons has enough for a cricket team and an American with 15 sons has enough for gridiron team, what has an Arab with 18 wives got enough for?
A golf course
Why shouldn't you pee in the shower?
It confuses the plumbing
How can you tell if your girlfriend is really fat?
When she sits on your face and you can't hear the stereo
My girlfriend is really ugly, she's a redhead. No hair. just a red head. She is very overweight as well but that's ok, she has just been offered a job as a decoy for the whaling fleet.
And to finish with a famous quote from Woody Allen "Don't knock masturbation, at least it is sex with somebody you love" and Bette Midler about Madonna "the only thing that girl will do like a virgin, is to give birth in a stable'
Two vomits were walking down the road when 1 of them spotted a familiar looking house. Turning to his friend he proudly declares 'look that's the house I was brought up in".
