Jokes thread 2

[goal_umpire]

As a tribute to the Queen's Jubilee, President Bush decided to accept
Prime Minister Blair's invitation to make a whirlwind visit to London to honor
Her Majesty. He is greeted at the airport by Mr. Blair, then whisked into
London, where he is ensconced in the royal carriage, an open carriage,
for a ride through London with none other than Elizabeth II.

The two are met with wildly enthusiastic crowds who wave and shout
encouragement and good wishes. The President and the Queen wave back,
and share a few happy thoughts as they move slowly through London in the
horse-drawn conveyence.

But suddenly, the right rear horse in the traces raises its tail and
lets fly with the most horrendous, earthshaking, eye-smarting blast of flatulence
perhaps ever heard in the British Empire, including Bermuda, Tortola, the
Falklands and Pitcairn Island.

Uncomfortable, but under control, the two dignitaries continue to wave
and smile at the crowds. But finally, the uncomfortable silence between the
two is too much for Her Highness. The Queen leaned over to President Bush
and said, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets and apologies for that.
I'm sure you understand there are some things even a queen cannot control."

President Bush looked at her, smiled and said, "Your Majesty, please
don't give it a second thought. Heck, if you hadn't said something, I'd have
thought it was one of the horses."

Have a read and a laugh.

 

[skilts]

As much as it pains me to post this, is this thread on 'ignore'?

Well done chaps.

 

[daddy_4_eyes]

She's trying to steal the glory from Seindude's thread. Burn her at the stake I says!

 

[Squeak]

suzi_olsen.

That's one of my all-time favourites.....(mine, not hers)

 

[X_box_X]

A lady walks into a bus with her baby. As she enters the bus, the bus driver says "That is the ugliest looking baby I have ever seen"
The lady took a seat in disgust, and told a man she had just been abused by the bus driver. The man said to her "Why, I wouldn't take that, go up there and let him have it"
The lady then said "Ok, I think I might"
The man she was sitting next to then said "Would you like me to hold your monkey for you, whilst you go up there" ?