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Player Watch Jordan De Goey

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DE GOEY OH NOEY

Collingwood enfant terrible and known serial bad person Jordan De Goey was tonight spotted in an exclusive bar in Bali engaged in carnal, lustful, sins.

We are talking big sins here. Huge.

Shock video footage of De Goey appears to show him engaged in dancing, possible attempted haka, and flirting with intent to do the horizontal mambo, hinting at possible crimes against rhythm, cultural appropriation, and possibly premature ejaculation for all we know.

Body language experts contacted by this paper however suggest even more sinister events may or may not have occurred.

"I can't positively say he didn't in fact murder a hundred cub scouts while snorting a mountain of cocaine that would kill Tony Montana" said Dr Paid Shill from the university of Kellogs- Frosty Flakes.

"I mean, that tongue gesture could mean anything."

We sought comment from De Goey by leaving a post it note on his bin but received no response by time of publication, which begs the question. What does he have to hide, and where did he bury the cub scouts?

"He ith a howwible man and it is indicatiff of a sick cultwer thwere at collingwoodth" was the summary from noted unbiased football expert Caroline Wilson.

"I blame Eddie...my...preciousssssssss..."

Likewise respected commentator Kane Cornes bloviated "I dunno, he is in danger of becoming a bigger tool than me. And I should know my tools, they call me Sidchrome because I'm an overrated tool. I think Collingwood should trade him to Port for a small pruning knife and a six pack of Newtowner. Want to know why? Tune in to my podcast at KornesKockKlub and lodge at least a hundred dollars in bets through Betfair to get exclusive tut tutting and clickbait about someone from the club you hate most! All your needs for righteous indignation and unabashed schadenfreud and general feeling superior and outraged in an outrageously superior way are catered to for cash via a sick ecosystem of vomit inducing hypocrisy fuelled by gambling money, booze, and brain dead bogan ex footy "stars" with no other job prospects in life than attaching themselves to the bloated carcasse of the football economy like a lamprey eel on a porpoise!"

So what now for De goey, and indeed Collingwood? Will they part ways? Wil the saga ever end? Sources suggest no...at least while we think we can eke another few clicks out of this bullshit and you ****ing brain dead w***ers keep consuming it like some lobotomised version of Pavlov's pooch salivating at the sound of a tin of rancid Chum being opened with a hacksaw.

Next up:

De Goey De pressed?

Sources suggest the misunderstood Collingwood playmaker Jordan De Goey is struggling with the mental anguish of a life in the AFL. Our exclusive expert commentary rummages though the proverbial bin liner of his "personal space" (hah! nice one!) to find the causes which positively cannot have anything to do with the actions of this masthead, no siree bob indeed.
 
Yeah, like I think its stupid to go and am not a DeGoey fan boy like others around here, but I mean what do people think will be on videos of people out at clubs and pubs? Says a lot about DeGoeys intelligence to trust the people he is around to not post something like this.

He hasn't done anything wrong though. Won't stop the sharks from circling.
 

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KinderSmock said:
I really hope this doesn't end in tears.
Click to expand...
There are concerns. He still likes to get pissed and party. Although it doesn't look like too much, one can't help feel that if it was end of year and he got drunk again, who knows where it could end up. He's not going to change by the look of it, his value just dropped
 
On no" guy has a good time away" second story on the msm BS fake news train at 6.
Absolute scum they should all hang
 
Pretty sure my opinion isn’t wanted but my first thought when I heard he was going to Bali was that maybe Collingwood were happy for him to go as a test.
 
Haven’t seen the video, but heard a lot of carry on and opinion on the radio. Really none of those on radio or any one else for that matter are in a position to judge. The appropriateness etc is up to other party involved. It was obvious just from the focus after news got out that DeGoey was in Bali that some in the media would be itching for something like this. DeGoey and his manager needed to be better at ensuring that didn’t happen.

Also, did the H Scum troll through social media for the video or does money talk?

Edit: just watched the video. 🤣🤣🤣 radio talk and the hysterics was ridiculous!
 
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manicpie said:
There are concerns. He still likes to get pissed and party. Although it doesn't look like too much, one can't help feel that if it was end of year and he got drunk again, who knows where it could end up. He's not going to change by the look of it, his value just dropped
Click to expand...
So you want him to go to a monastery and meditate? Ridiculous comment
 
An inspired decision by the club to leak this video to gain extra leverage in our contract renegotiations with JDG! At this rate he’ll be paying us to sign on for his next contract! Genius move from Graeme Wright! Well played!


Sent from my iPhone using BigFooty.com
 
LuckyLee said:
An inspired decision by the club to leak this video to gain extra leverage in our contract renegotiations with JDG! At this rate he’ll be paying us to sign on for his next contract! Genius move from Graeme Wright! Well played!


Sent from my iPhone using BigFooty.com
Click to expand...
100k discount!
 
foreigner said:
So you want him to go to a monastery and meditate? Ridiculous comment
Click to expand...
So, a bloke who was banned from the club for going oversees and being a dickhead goes to another country months later and gets up to the same thing. Do you think a mature, level headed person would do that? The ridiculous part is that you haven't thought it through. Will he still get 850k per year? I thought i was dumb
 

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MoreMoore said:
this is gutter journalism
Is there is absolutely no context or research been done
The video is edited
It is not known who is filming
It’s not known who is in the footage
It’s just posted front page without any care for peoples privacy
Click to expand...

They are getting more and more desperate now people don't really need them anymore for news.
 
legendstatus said:
More importantly the place looks like Motel Mexicola!!! I’m in Bali late next month. I’ll post video of my antics, hopefully I get front page of the HS.
Click to expand...
I love that place…so retro.
 
Media is flat out embarrassing. I agree with a poster above pies probably happy for him to go to give it a test. The "grope" clearly looks like its not even his arm and has 0 context. Doesn't stop every dropkick at the herald smashing his name once again. He actually looks pretty sober (Having partied a lot) and I've been out a bunch of times, particularly at mexicola - pretty sober.
 
Good Horse said:
DE GOEY OH NOEY

Collingwood enfant terrible and known serial bad person Jordan De Goey was tonight spotted in an exclusive bar in Bali engaged in carnal, lustful, sins.

We are talking big sins here. Huge.

Shock video footage of De Goey appears to show him engaged in dancing, possible attempted haka, and flirting with intent to do the horizontal mambo, hinting at possible crimes against rhythm, cultural appropriation, and possibly premature ejaculation for all we know.

Body language experts contacted by this paper however suggest even more sinister events may or may not have occurred.

"I can't positively say he didn't in fact murder a hundred cub scouts while snorting a mountain of cocaine that would kill Tony Montana" said Dr Paid Shill from the university of Kellogs- Frosty Flakes.

"I mean, that tongue gesture could mean anything."

We sought comment from De Goey by leaving a post it note on his bin but received no response by time of publication, which begs the question. What does he have to hide, and where did he bury the cub scouts?

"He ith a howwible man and it is indicatiff of a sick cultwer thwere at collingwoodth" was the summary from noted unbiased football expert Caroline Wilson.

"I blame Eddie...my...preciousssssssss..."

Likewise respected commentator Kane Cornes bloviated "I dunno, he is in danger of becoming a bigger tool than me. And I should know my tools, they call me Sidchrome because I'm an overrated tool. I think Collingwood should trade him to Port for a small pruning knife and a six pack of Newtowner. Want to know why? Tune in to my podcast at KornesKockKlub and lodge at least a hundred dollars in bets through Betfair to get exclusive tut tutting and clickbait about someone from the club you hate most! All your needs for righteous indignation and unabashed schadenfreud and general feeling superior and outraged in an outrageously superior way are catered to for cash via a sick ecosystem of vomit inducing hypocrisy fuelled by gambling money, booze, and brain dead bogan ex footy "stars" with no other job prospects in life than attaching themselves to the bloated carcasse of the football economy like a lamprey eel on a porpoise!"

So what now for De goey, and indeed Collingwood? Will they part ways? Wil the saga ever end? Sources suggest no...at least while we think we can eke another few clicks out of this bullshit and you ******* brain dead w***ers keep consuming it like some lobotomised version of Pavlov's pooch salivating at the sound of a tin of rancid Chum being opened with a hacksaw.

Next up:

De Goey De pressed?

Sources suggest the misunderstood Collingwood playmaker Jordan De Goey is struggling with the mental anguish of a life in the AFL. Our exclusive expert commentary rummages though the proverbial bin liner of his "personal space" (hah! nice one!) to find the causes which positively cannot have anything to do with the actions of this masthead, no siree bob indeed.
Click to expand...
P.O.T.Y !!
 
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