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Life

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I think you have been questioning your life for a while. So use these feelings to explore new paths. Life is as meaningful or meaningless as we allow it to be.

Look around you. There's people everywhere that need a kind word, a smile, a helping hand. Give more. Expect less. Push yourself out of your comfort zone.

You know the old saying. If you do what you've always done you'll get what you've always gotten.
 
Abba Lonie said:
Life's tough,
So what?
I'm alive.
I've been down,
Seen hard times,
But I survived.

You know I learned my lessons,
At the school of hard knocks.
I know there's more to living,
Can't hold me down,
Can't hold me back.
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May as well let the chorus rip.
Abba Lonie said:
In all seriousness, everything that happens in life is a choice. How you react to everything is a choice. Happiness is, ultimately, a choice.
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Don't know it is. The first reaction to something or a situation tends to be instinctual. Was reading about this the other day. About self control and stress but can be applied to just about any emotion...........

Some people have a certain amount of control/reaction or they don't. You can maintain a facade for a while but eventually true feelings give way. That is not to say you can't train/improve to be better or channel the emotion to something positive.

What you value should therefore first form the basis of what you choose to improve.

All the better if you can find something you are good at as well.
 

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Run n Spread said:
May as well let the chorus rip.


Don't know it is. The first reaction to something or a situation tends to be instinctual. Was reading about this the other day. About self control and stress but can be applied to just about any emotion...........

Some people have a certain amount of control/reaction or they don't. You can maintain a facade for a while but eventually true feelings give way. That is not to say you can't train/improve to be better or channel the emotion to something positive.
Click to expand...

Agree in part but I think controlling your reactions can be trained. Some people are naturally more emotionally intelligent than others but it's not something that can't be worked on.
 
Abba Lonie said:
In all seriousness, everything that happens in life is a choice. How you react to everything is a choice. Happiness is, ultimately, a choice.
Click to expand...

Happiness is a choice

tell people who suffer from depression that..
 
The depression and anxiety card is thrown out so often these days that those who truly have mental illness aren't listened to as much as say a stressed out 22 year old who might've just finished uni but has no job or money.

I get down about the exact same things SA has posted about in this thread. It took me a while but I realised that a lot of it comes from my perspective on things. Another person might've gone to the doctors for depression, others might have a cry to relieve the tension, others might look to change their lifestyle a bit, like myself.

One thing i did was I stopped drinking as much, I started feeling less tired in the mornings, so my mood was better. This won't work on everyone but everyone does have something that'll make small improvements in their life.

SA, you're so critical on everything. So very critical and judgy. Don't be. Let go on some things. The things that don't matter, don't worry about. Beers for example, some people like what you'd call shit, and those people would call your beer shit.

Sometimes you've gotta stop thinking about the bigger picture, being everything mentioned in your OP. Tonight will be all about the missus and myself, nothing else will matter.

You're 23 or so right? This mindset is probably common for our age group. Some change perspectives as they get older, others keep it until their 40s and become the ultimate victims of this world.
 
Unless you get lucky, nobody is going to hand to you what you want in life on a platter. As you say it's not easy.

But this is still probably the best time in history to be a "common person". We are no longer serfs or bound to live out prescribed lives under some powerful king or lord; instead we have the freedom to pursue what we want in life (within reason) and there are plenty of opportunities out there. Even for the victims of society, the safety net available allows people to live comfortably by historical standards.

You are right to judge all of the messages that we receive in the media about celebrities and the good life. But also it's worth being aware that your perspective on having a happy life and what it involves, and your entitlement to partake in it, has been influenced by those same sources. So it's worth questioning that (as your dampened expectations are probably contributing to any unhappiness).

End of the day, being happy is something that we all have to continuously work at. It takes an enormous amount of discipline and self awareness. Good luck with the journey.

EDIT: Also I think it's Tony Robbins who says that being dissatisfied is the key to changing your life. Because you wouldn't be motivated to make those hard changes if you felt satisfied. Maybe something helpful to ponder.
 
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edgie said:
Survival of the fittest I say. Mentally and emotionally fit that is.

Sent from mTalk
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A lot of dumb ****ers don't question anything. Yes some of these dumb ****ers have children at 18, smoke and drink and drug themselves to death, but some are just smart enough to get by and have a job and essentially get through life without worrying too much. There is a bliss in ignorance and unfortunately there's a point on the graph where dumbness actually works in your favour. Eat shit from work and be happy with getting pissed on the weekend and subscribe to the lineage.

JG22 said:
try drugs
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Not for me brutha. Plus does it help? Spending the next 24 hours unable to sleep or eat and then the days after not being able to understand simple sentences, being sore in the head at any sight of light, being bonafide depressed and grey and empty, and having some weird headache that makes you wonder if you're going to be normal again... seems like a good way to spend half a week assessing your life. As for being a white dude and getting into peyote, well I might be a flog but I don't wear tie dye and don't have dreadies.

Honestly I guess there's a resignation to living a normal, structured life. And there is no fault in rhythm and routine. I liked getting up early for work over summer, being home late, going to bed, and doing it again. But there comes a point where you resent what happens when you're at work and wonder what the point is when you use your valuable time off to get pissed. You work hard (or what you gauge as hard work) and have no energy to fulfil your passions; you just sit at home watching TV, on the internet, drinking beers. Maybe you go out. Some people take drugs. Whatever. But it's not a noble lifestyle and it's pretty ****ed on a wider scale.

I mean how many people want to read books or learn a language or engage in their passion but can't? Because when they've been working for eight hours, by the time they get home, by the time they eat some slodgey shit, they have no energy to get out a book or even read up on what to read, let alone learn an instrument or go out and take photos or paint things.

That situation is more what I'm referring to. You just cannot get ahead. Got a passion? Gonna need money to buy whatever you need for it. You aren't successful yet, so you have to go to work. Inevitably that breaks you. And most likely you won't be successful enough to not work. You give up.

Life just is not meant to help you. You aren't meant to be famous or rich or to follow your passions or to succeed. You're made to basically have ambition, as ambition breeds commercialism, but then you don't have the time or belief to act on your ambition. That, or your ambition is sabotaged by your low self esteem which is your own fault, because you're seduced by ads and cheap food and the chip aisle. FFS.
 
Silent Alarm said:
I'm not being all 19-year old student here, but what is the point?

We worship hacks in Hollywood and aspire to be them and live our whole life tracking them.

We work for campaigner bosses, in corporations that have downward pressure, where everyone else above us has more pressure and tries to take more shortcuts, to help people who are millionaires.

These days we have to rent to live, adding to the above point.

We get home so tired, we drink shit and eat shit and don't exercise.

We get told to eat this food and drink this beer and then get told to be this thin because it's hot.

We are never ever ever happy.

We are always aiming for something else.

We're ****** over by the world, by money, we would do anything for cash, and we would do anything to keep our job, and yet we're all a second away from a redundancy and living on the streets. We all try and for what? To die at 78? We all work hard and slave away to what, buy a fridge? We get a job and pay $70 a week to get there?

Life is not made to get us ahead.

We are not made to succeed.

We are made to do as we say and feel pressure from everywhere, to be kept below.

It's ******.
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What's with all the we, we, we? Choose not to simply be a product and some clarity comes about.

Plenty of start points, but may not be easy for a 19 y.o. Worth a try though, if you're thinking the way you are.
 
Silent Alarm said:
A lot of dumb ******s don't question anything. Yes some of these dumb ******s have children at 18, smoke and drink and drug themselves to death, but some are just smart enough to get by and have a job and essentially get through life without worrying too much. There is a bliss in ignorance and unfortunately there's a point on the graph where dumbness actually works in your favour. Eat shit from work and be happy with getting pissed on the weekend and subscribe to the lineage.


Not for me brutha. Plus does it help? Spending the next 24 hours unable to sleep or eat and then the days after not being able to understand simple sentences, being sore in the head at any sight of light, being bonafide depressed and grey and empty, and having some weird headache that makes you wonder if you're going to be normal again... seems like a good way to spend half a week assessing your life. As for being a white dude and getting into peyote, well I might be a flog but I don't wear tie dye and don't have dreadies.

Honestly I guess there's a resignation to living a normal, structured life. And there is no fault in rhythm and routine. I liked getting up early for work over summer, being home late, going to bed, and doing it again. But there comes a point where you resent what happens when you're at work and wonder what the point is when you use your valuable time off to get pissed. You work hard (or what you gauge as hard work) and have no energy to fulfil your passions; you just sit at home watching TV, on the internet, drinking beers. Maybe you go out. Some people take drugs. Whatever. But it's not a noble lifestyle and it's pretty ****** on a wider scale.

I mean how many people want to read books or learn a language or engage in their passion but can't? Because when they've been working for eight hours, by the time they get home, by the time they eat some slodgey shit, they have no energy to get out a book or even read up on what to read, let alone learn an instrument or go out and take photos or paint things.

That situation is more what I'm referring to. You just cannot get ahead. Got a passion? Gonna need money to buy whatever you need for it. You aren't successful yet, so you have to go to work. Inevitably that breaks you. And most likely you won't be successful enough to not work. You give up.

Life just is not meant to help you. You aren't meant to be famous or rich or to follow your passions or to succeed. You're made to basically have ambition, as ambition breeds commercialism, but then you don't have the time or belief to act on your ambition. That, or your ambition is sabotaged by your low self esteem which is your own fault, because you're seduced by ads and cheap food and the chip aisle. FFS.
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Forget the negative crap and what you DONT want.

What DO you want out of life?
 
darcytiger said:
OP needs to live in Afghanistan or Somalia and see how good his shitty life here really is.

Embrace the suck
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What a shit remark. Relatively speaking it can be as difficult living in Toorak as it is in Somalia, if your life is out of balance.

Our suicide rates aren't as high as they are just because we should suck it up. Life can be difficult if you're comparing yourself to false standards.
Getting oneself out of the loop isn't easy, but it's worth a try if one feels the way the OP does.

At least he/she is questioning things and that in itself isn't easy, but it's a damn good start. Good on them.
 
Abba Lonie said:
Life's tough,
So what?
I'm alive.
I've been down,
Seen hard times,
But I survived.

You know I learned my lessons,
At the school of hard knocks.
I know there's more to living,
Can't hold me down,
Can't hold me back.
Click to expand...

****en love that song.

And OP go and do something, travel, go get a root, have a big night on the pingas or something. Life is short, try and have some fun bits in amongst it.
 

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A lot of people have thought about these topics over the years. Even if you aren't religious at all, it may be worth reading the book of Ecclesiastes. It's written 2500 years ago but it still deals the same subject matter. Just for one (of many) examples:

Silent Alarm said:
A lot of dumb ******s don't question anything... There is a bliss in ignorance and unfortunately there's a point on the graph where dumbness actually works in your favour. Eat shit from work and be happy with getting pissed on the weekend and subscribe to the lineage.
Click to expand...

I said to myself, “Look, I have increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge.” Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.

For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;
the more knowledge, the more grief.

Silent Alarm said:
I mean how many people want to read books or learn a language or engage in their passion but can't? Because when they've been working for eight hours, by the time they get home, by the time they eat some slodgey shit, they have no energy to get out a book or even read up on what to read, let alone learn an instrument or go out and take photos or paint things.
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As an example, I met a bloke in his 30s travelling last week. He and his wife have consciously decided to go part time in their jobs for the rest of their lives. They have enough experience now so that, by doing so, they effectively will earn similar to graduate wages in their respective roles by working 3 days a week. Their goals are mainly to travel but also, as you say, spend more time on self development.

I have read posts from TheDiceMan on here and he seems to have found himself a pretty decent gig (based on what he and his family wants).

The office can be a drab place and dull your thoughts at the best of times. It's easy to drift towards the lowest common denominator; especially if your boss is a miserable jerk. That's why its good to take a holiday and set some goals that matter to you while you have more energy and less negative emotion. Get away from your family and friends for a bit as well if they are causing you grief. It takes a lot of effort and discipline to do so, which is why most people fail to do it (or follow through), but there are some people who manage to achieve a lot despite the challenges at work/home/physical/mental etc. Look at the founder of Lenovo, for example, who was working long hours in a Chinese factory at 40 before he went on to find success and riches. I say this as a person who regularly works 60-80+ hours in the office.
 
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This thread is as good a place as any to share this. Personally I'm not a big fan of Tim Minchin's work or public persona but credit where due, this is a great speech on life.

OP you write some interesting threads but I recon point 7 about defining yourself by what you like, not by what you dislike could be some wisdom worth heeding. I look at the happier people I know and this is a common trait.

Yes, the world is full of lots of shit, heaps of it, and some good stuff. Make room in YOUR world for the good stuff, and leave the shit where it belongs, THE world.

 
Too many people place happiness as a work related feeling. Find a job you're happy in should never be a solution.

If you aren't complete without a happy job, you never will be with it. If what you do to pay your way is the main contributor of unhappiness then yeah, maybe ignorance is bliss. Maybe people are a bit fragile.

I understand exhaustion, of the body and mind. I don't think that should depress people it's own.

Then again, I'm a easy pleased nerd who can find enjoyment running through a decade or two old video game. At least I know when I'm old I'll have a hobby.

Sent from mTalk
 
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The happiest you will be is when you do exactly what you want and not what people/society expect of you. Don't want kids? Don't have them. Don't want to get married? Don't. Want to go to a Taylor Swift concert instead of the footy? Do it. Want to work at a low stress job for a wage that will keep a roof over your head and your bills paid? Do it.
 
kickazz said:
This thread is as good a place as any to share this. Personally I'm not a big fan of Tim Minchin's work or public persona but credit where due, this is a great speech on life.
OP you write some interesting threads but I recon point 7 about defining yourself by what you like, not by what you dislike could be some wisdom worth heeding. I look at the happier people I know and this is a common trait.

Yes, the world is full of lots of shit, heaps of it, and some good stuff. Make room in YOUR world for the good stuff, and leave the shit where it belongs, THE world.

Click to expand...


Sage advice but may I ask you......why should everything simply point to happiness as some secret to life?
Is there anything really wrong with knowledge, truth and acceptance of the world we reside in, even if that doesn't bring about joy?

The OP asks questions not usually attributed to such a young person and I applaud him/her for that.
Just maybe he/she has a jump on many that are simply craving happiness for the sake of happiness. Contrived happiness doesn't last.
 
The late John Perry Barlow's 25 Principles for Adult Behaviour.

1. Be patient. No matter what.
2. Don’t badmouth: Assign responsibility, not blame. Say nothing of another you wouldn’t say to him.
3. Never assume the motives of others are, to them, less noble than yours are to you.
4. Expand your sense of the possible.
5. Don’t trouble yourself with matters you truly cannot change.
6. Expect no more of anyone than you can deliver yourself.
7. Tolerate ambiguity.
8. Laugh at yourself frequently.
9. Concern yourself with what is right rather than who is right.
10. Never forget that, no matter how certain, you might be wrong.
11. Give up blood sports.
12. Remember that your life belongs to others as well. Don’t risk it frivolously.
13. Never lie to anyone for any reason. (Lies of omission are sometimes exempt.)
14. Learn the needs of those around you and respect them.
15. Avoid the pursuit of happiness. Seek to define your mission and pursue that.
16. Reduce your use of the first personal pronoun.
17. Praise at least as often as you disparage.
18. Admit your errors freely and soon.
19. Become less suspicious of joy.
20. Understand humility.
21. Remember that love forgives everything.
22. Foster dignity.
23. Live memorably.
24. Love yourself.
25. Endure.
 

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