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Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 - 2014 Edition

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Player #20 - Jeff Garlett

154785-4b6dc16e-1e18-11e4-9498-229fc8e204d4.jpg

Pictured: Half of a police line-up, and the start to a shit joke. "A demon, a lion and a crow walk into a bar..."

Jeff Garlett is a VFL player who has "done a Rodan" by going to Melbourne for a year or two of superannuation.

In fairness to Jeff, he was once a decent player. In 2011 he played every game and kicked 50 goals, which only serves to highlight his poor performance this year even further. It's worth noting in 2011 he was behind Betts & Baseball-Bat Yarren in the pecking order of "Setanta's Little Helpers", one of the worst nicknames a group of footballers have ever given themselves (hint: there is a worse nickname to feature later in the Bottom 50). Garlett made his name playing on the no. 6 defender each week.

So, 2014. Garlett played 9 games this year, managing double-figure possessions in three of them for an average of 8 touches. Outside of half-decent games against Brisbane & West Coast he managed less than a goal per game, a couple of tackles and not much else. He's 25, in the prime of his career and has been shafted off to Melbourne for peanuts just to get him away from the rest of the playing group.
Garlett was dropped to the VFL after round 12 (3 disposals in the second half) and never returned for a team that finished 6th bottom.

Off-field he hangs out with Mitch Robinson; I probably don't have to say much more, but I will.
Amazingly, there is a small possibility that Mitch Robinson may be the brains behind the duo, which in itself is a concept previously considered as likely as Tigerboyz' posting being missed on the Bay because he was too busy helping people change tyres. Robinson "being the smart one" is a little bit like Chris Scott being "the non-whiny brother" and therefore should be taken with a grain of salt.

Jeffy has had a few spots of bother over the years, being banished to reserves late last year for an off field incident.
The final straw for his Carlton career being when he was out in the early hours of the morning (5am) with Mitch in Agust 2014. They got into a bit of a scuffle, in which Robinson suffered a fractured eye socket for no loss of beauty and Garlett suffered head lacerations for no loss of sense.
Given the players and the off field issues they've had over the years, getting cut by Carlton for off-field issues is a little like being too much of a knuckle-dragger to follow Rugby League. Sure it's possible, but it ranks behind Amstaff going melt-free for a decade on the scale of probability.

Anyhoo Carlton have begun their clean-out and rebuild and Garlett makes the Bottom 50 for 2014. Kind of a win all round.
 
Mofra said:
In fairness to Jeff, he was once a decent player. In 2011 he played every game and kicked 50 goals, which only serves to highlight his poor performance this year even further. It's worth noting in 2011 he was behind Betts & Baseball-Bat Yarren in the pecking order of "Setanta's Little Helpers", one of the worst nicknames a group of footballers have ever given themselves (hint: there is a worse nickname to feature later in the Bottom 50). Garlett made his name playing on the no. 6 defender each week.
Click to expand...

I'm going to get in early and guess "the prince who laughs last" for this one.
 

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Mofra said:
Player #20 - Jeff Garlett

Given the players and the off field issues they've had over the years, getting cut by Carlton for off-field issues is a little like being too much of a knuckle-dragger to follow Rugby League. Sure it's possible, but it ranks behind Amstaff going melt-free for a decade on the scale of probability.

Anyhoo Carlton have begun their clean-out and rebuild and Garlett makes the Bottom 50 for 2014. Kind of a win all round.
Click to expand...



Meaning - it's impossible!!!
 
Fyfie_ said:
I'm going to get in early and guess "the prince who laughs last" for this one.
Click to expand...

Looks like we are topping up our list to ensure a bottom 50 dynasty for years to come.
 
Fyfie_ said:
I'm going to get in early and guess "the prince who laughs last" for this one.
Click to expand...

All jokes aside - no way the Prince is a bottom 50 player.
 

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Player #19 - Tom Scully Dale Thomas

Wait, wut?

First of all, I normally start each profile with a less than flattering or amusing photo. With Dale, I can't choose just one.
upload_2014-10-30_13-24-7.jpeg
upload_2014-10-30_13-24-19.jpeg

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Pictured: Try and find a photo of Dale Thomas not looking like a douche

Dale Thomas, not Tom Scully, was the biggest overpaid flop of a marquee signing in 2014.

Carlton fans were in raptures with their sexually ambiguous recruiting strategy nabbing them a player from rivals Collingwood as a Free Agent.
"Judd, Marc Murphy, Gibbsy, Robinson, Thomas, unbeatable!" they cried. Then the season unfolded, and they cried.

Let's have a look at what disappointment looks like, in numbers.

Tom Scully:
23 years old, 181cm, 78 kgs, 19.8 disposals per game, 7.8 contested possessions, 73.2% disposal efficiency, 4.5 tackles per game, 3.1 clearances, 3.8 inside 50s
Dale Thomas:
27 years old, 185cm, 86 kgs, 17.3 disposals per game, 5.6 contested possessions, 72.8% disposal efficiency, 2.8 tackles per game, 1.2 clearances, 2.0 inside 50s.

Tom Scully is younger, shorter, lighter and has little of the protection Dale Thomas gets from senior teammates, yet is unfairly maligned for the size of his contract which is now roughly the same salary cap % of his team's cap as Dale Thomas' contract. He has improved to lift himself out of the Bottom 50, while Dale in the prime of his career is going backwards.
Scully has outperformed Thomas in most statistical measures - heck, he even spends more time on the ground which is a valuable commodity in this era of interchange restrictions.
Imagine signing a marquee player to such a long, expensive contract!

It's downright irresponsible and the football world will enjoy Carlton's ongoing malaise in no man's land as their good players (and Dale Thomas) retire just as their existing crop of youngsters either get cut for hitting nightclubs too hard (Robinson, Garlett) or by some miracle start to peak as decent footballers (um... I'll get back to you. Is Henderson young?)

Dale - thank you for a wonderful package of highlights and lowlights, welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2014.
 

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Mofra said:
.

Let's have a look at what disappointment looks like, in numbers.

Tom Scully:
23 years old, 181cm, 78 kgs, 19.8 disposals per game, 7.8 contested possessions, 73.2% disposal efficiency, 4.5 tackles per game, 3.1 clearances, 3.8 inside 50s
Dale Thomas:
27 years old, 185cm, 86 kgs, 17.3 disposals per game, 5.6 contested possessions, 72.8% disposal efficiency, 2.8 tackles per game, 1.2 clearances, 2.0 inside 50s.

Tom Scully is younger, shorter, lighter and has little of the protection Dale Thomas gets from senior teammates, yet is unfairly maligned for the size of his contract which is now roughly the same salary cap % of his team's cap as Dale Thomas' contract. He has improved to lift himself out of the Bottom 50, while Dale in the prime of his career is going backwards.
Scully has outperformed Thomas in most statistical measures - heck, he even spends more time on the ground which is a valuable commodity in this era of interchange restrictions.
Imagine signing a marquee player to such a long, expensive contract!.
Click to expand...

I never thought I'd see the day when I'd troll Tom $cully and Mofra wouldnt.

Just saying.
 

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Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 - 2014 Edition

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