Think Tank Mofra's Lazy Bottom 40 for 2025

[spenze]

Nice list but will it be completed by Christmas?

Easily by Christmas just which year?

 

[WillHayward]

Player 36 (stone) - Mitch McGovern
View attachment 2462001
Pictured: All the definition of Tyreboyz' Huawei

Mitch McGovern was a tallish defender from Carlton who probably would have played a key role in Voss' gameplan if he had one.

Moving across from the Adelaide Crows an immediately earning the impressive nickname of "Brackets", the no 11 never really looked like a footballer but like his brother and his dad (who both had bodies like a beaten mattress), Mitch had a good football brain.

As IT nerds find out on dating websites, brains only take you so far. Being the brother of the excellent Jeremy, Mitch would forever be compared to his more adept brother. Much like Mark Waugh, about 7 Daddos, Brad "bottom bunk" Scott... and I presume most of Essendon's list have brothers too.

This year Mitch played 17 games. Generally an intercept (i.e. doesn't defend) defender, Mitch went forward and kicked 4 goals in a loss to North Melbourne. I didn't see that game, and I've never poured undiluted bleach directly into my eye sockets. Those facts may just be related.

At the end of this season Carlton decided not to offer another contract to Mitch which should save them a fortune on catering.

Thanks for the memories Brackets and welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.

I have good news for lovers of this thread and the Ikon Park catering team who will remain fully employed for another year....

Blues veteran gets another chance after long wait - https://www.afl.com.au/news/1444718

 

[Hydatina Physis]

I have good news for lovers of this thread and the Ikon Park catering team who will remain fully employed for another year....

Blues veteran gets another chance after long wait - https://www.afl.com.au/news/1444718

Well thank God for that.

 

[Mofra]

Player #35 - Dylan Shiel

9

Dylan Shiel

Age

32

Ht

182cm

Wt

84kg

Pos.

D/M

Career

Season

Last 5

D

24.6

5star

K

12.3

5star

HB

12.2

5star

M

3.1

3star

T

3.9

5star

MG

410.2

5star

D

23.4

5star

K

13.6

5star

HB

9.8

5star

M

2.2

2star

T

3.4

4star

MG

334.4

5star

D

19.8

5star

K

8.4

4star

HB

11.4

5star

M

2.4

3star

T

2.6

4star

Pictured: Dylan was the subject of an "interesting" rumour in 2025

Dylan Shiel

9

Dylan Shiel

Age

32

Ht

182cm

Wt

84kg

Pos.

D/M

Career

Season

Last 5

D

24.6

5star

K

12.3

5star

HB

12.2

5star

M

3.1

3star

T

3.9

5star

MG

410.2

5star

D

23.4

5star

K

13.6

5star

HB

9.8

5star

M

2.2

2star

T

3.4

4star

MG

334.4

5star

D

19.8

5star

K

8.4

4star

HB

11.4

5star

M

2.4

3star

T

2.6

4star

is an Essendon player. After starting his career at GWS, a few Victorian clubs competed heavily for his signature when he decided to move back to his home state.
Carlton reportedly flew him on a private jet to Noosa and fed him caviar in a bid to lure him, however Dylan chose Essendon because he wanted 'success' over 'money' which makes you wonder why he considered either club, really.
At the end of the 2018 season Essendon paid GWS 2 first round picks for Shiel. Just a couple of years later, the bombers would refuse a trade of 2 first rounders for Josh Dunkley

5

Josh Dunkley

Age

28

Ht

191cm

Wt

87kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

21.8

5star

K

10.4

4star

HB

11.3

5star

M

4.3

4star

T

5.8

5star

CL

3.2

5star

D

20.7

5star

K

7.0

3star

HB

13.7

5star

M

2.3

2star

T

5.3

5star

CL

2.7

4star

D

14.2

4star

K

7.2

3star

HB

7.0

5star

M

4.8

5star

T

4.0

5star

CL

1.4

4star

. That paragraph contains so many poor choices it could double as Jamarrah's 2025 training plan.

This year, Dylan managed 14 games of such outstanding 'mehness' that if he was a dish, he'd be unseasoned steamed chicken. The only real notable thing that happened was during a game against Geelong. At one stage he 'pushed' O'Connor into his teammate Lual in a marked contest, causing his teammate to suffer a heavy knock.
For that action Dylan was suspended for one game - ensuring that he now finishes up at Essendon on 99 games, also ensuring his offspring have a chance of September action if they enter the AFL system.

Arguably Shiel's best games came in both round 24 games (yes you read that right) when he knew that he would be unshackled from the burdon of representing Essendon in the following year. Dylan played like a man released, enjoying his footy with all the freedom of a Scottish man's genitals in a heavy breeze.

A strong body since his junior days, Dylan is 'naturally jacked' which makes it surprising that St Kilda didn't chase him at the end of this year. He has been noted for his professionalism on the track and was All-Australian in 2017 and came second in Essendon's B&F in 2019.

Dylan, good luck next year. Welcome to the Bottom 40 2025.

 

[King Tenz]

Player #35 - Dylan Shiel
View attachment 2463913
View attachment 2463914
Pictured: Dylan was the subject of an "interesting" rumour in 2025

Dylan Shiel is an Essendon player. After starting his career at GWS, a few Victorian clubs competed heavily for his signature when he decided to move back to his home state.
Carlton reportedly flew him on a private jet to Noosa and fed him caviar in a bid to lure him, however Dylan chose Essendon because he wanted 'success' over 'money' which makes you wonder why he considered either club, really.
At the end of the 2018 season Essendon paid GWS 2 first round picks for Shiel. Just a couple of years later, the bombers would refuse a trade of 2 first rounders for Josh Dunkley. That paragraph contains so many poor choices it could double as Jamarrah's 2025 training plan.

This year, Dylan managed 14 games of such outstanding 'mehness' that if he was a dish, he'd be unseasoned steamed chicken. The only real notable thing that happened was during a game against Geelong. At one stage he 'pushed' O'Connor into his teammate Lual in a marked contest, causing his teammate to suffer a heavy knock.
For that action Dylan was suspended for one game - ensuring that he now finishes up at Essendon on 99 games, also ensuring his offspring have a chance of September action if they enter the AFL system.

Arguably Shiel's best games came in both round 24 games (yes you read that right) when he knew that he would be unshackled from the burdon of representing Essendon in the following year. Dylan played like a man released, enjoying his footy with all the freedom of a Scottish man's genitals in a heavy breeze.

A strong body since his junior days, Dylan is 'naturally jacked' which makes it surprising that St Kilda didn't chase him at the end of this year. He has been noted for his professionalism on the track and was All-Australian in 2017 and came second in Essendon's B&F in 2019.

Dylan, good luck next year. Welcome to the Bottom 40 2025.

This bum still plays football in 2025?

 

[The Sultan]

Player #35 - Dylan Shiel
View attachment 2463913
View attachment 2463914
Pictured: Dylan was the subject of an "interesting" rumour in 2025

 

[____]

Josh Dunkley

5

Josh Dunkley

Age

28

Ht

191cm

Wt

87kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

21.8

5star

K

10.4

4star

HB

11.3

5star

M

4.3

4star

T

5.8

5star

CL

3.2

5star

D

20.7

5star

K

7.0

3star

HB

13.7

5star

M

2.3

2star

T

5.3

5star

CL

2.7

4star

D

14.2

4star

K

7.2

3star

HB

7.0

5star

M

4.8

5star

T

4.0

5star

CL

1.4

4star

having his trade request to Essendon rejected back in 2020 is the AFL equivalent of being fired from your office job at the World Trade Center in New York on 2001, September 10th...

 

[Kabanna]

Josh Dunkley having his trade request to Essendon rejected back in 2020 is the AFL equivalent of being fired from your office job at the World Trade Center in New York on 2001, September 10th...

Indeed. He dodged a massive bullet.. now he’s a best and fairest winner in a premiership year! Essendon can’t even make finals let alone win one!

 

[All Aust]

The Bays version of the All Australian 40 squad. One where I can be certain that my beloved Saints will feature bigly.

Leave me out of this!!
It's Mofra
Then Phil.
Chewy in yer boot the rest
Don't mess with the formula.
( Ten odd bottom dwellers need to come off the bench).

 

[All Aust]

I had him top 10.

But the Port reference is gold.

The Houston / Port layers is Champagne

 

[Hydatina Physis]

Getting rocked by Cotchin was the peak of Shiels career.

 

[All Aust]

No, he's still Prince Andrew, he's formerly known as the Duke of York.

I feel for Fergie though, she's no longer the Duchess of York and is just plain ol' Sarah Ferguson again.

Of the two, and dragging to the forefront, the sucking of the toes...

THe Fergie Tractor reigns as the classy one.

 

[spenze]

Player #35 - Dylan Shiel
View attachment 2463913
View attachment 2463914
Pictured: Dylan was the subject of an "interesting" rumour in 2025

Dylan Shiel is an Essendon player. After starting his career at GWS, a few Victorian clubs competed heavily for his signature when he decided to move back to his home state.
Carlton reportedly flew him on a private jet to Noosa and fed him caviar in a bid to lure him, however Dylan chose Essendon because he wanted 'success' over 'money' which makes you wonder why he considered either club, really.
At the end of the 2018 season Essendon paid GWS 2 first round picks for Shiel. Just a couple of years later, the bombers would refuse a trade of 2 first rounders for Josh Dunkley. That paragraph contains so many poor choices it could double as Jamarrah's 2025 training plan.

This year, Dylan managed 14 games of such outstanding 'mehness' that if he was a dish, he'd be unseasoned steamed chicken. The only real notable thing that happened was during a game against Geelong. At one stage he 'pushed' O'Connor into his teammate Lual in a marked contest, causing his teammate to suffer a heavy knock.
For that action Dylan was suspended for one game - ensuring that he now finishes up at Essendon on 99 games, also ensuring his offspring have a chance of September action if they enter the AFL system.

Arguably Shiel's best games came in both round 24 games (yes you read that right) when he knew that he would be unshackled from the burdon of representing Essendon in the following year. Dylan played like a man released, enjoying his footy with all the freedom of a Scottish man's genitals in a heavy breeze.

A strong body since his junior days, Dylan is 'naturally jacked' which makes it surprising that St Kilda didn't chase him at the end of this year. He has been noted for his professionalism on the track and was All-Australian in 2017 and came second in Essendon's B&F in 2019.

Dylan, good luck next year. Welcome to the Bottom 40 2025.

Yep, that’s the first banging one that had me reading it three times and still laughing.

 

[TubbsFarquhar]

Pictured: All the definition of Tyreboyz' Huawei

This will never get old.

 

[Saveloy Rockstar]

He has been noted for his professionalism on the track and was All-Australian in 2017 and came second in Essendon's B&F in 2019.

Who are you and what have you done with the real Mofra

 

[philreich]

Josh Dunkley having his trade request to Essendon rejected back in 2020 is the AFL equivalent of being fired from your office job at the World Trade Center in New York on 2001, September 10th...

Or a plane strike commencing the day before your mother in law is due to fly over for a visit.

 

[bobs head soup]

shocked to be sitting here that the tin rattlers can't read. shocked!

At least our club is sufficiently literate and adept at basic administration to retain all spreadsheets of importance.

 

[jannissary]

At least our club is sufficiently literate and adept at basic administration to retain all spreadsheets of importance.

nice melt

 

[AlecDuncan]

Pictured: Dylan was the subject of an "interesting" rumour in 2025

I obviously need better search terms than "jules" and "caddy".

 

[philreich]

Maybe that's why he was shit at cricket. They named him wrong and he never fully recovered. Should have played it safe and named him Dean Mushroom Sauce Waugh

Which reminds me - the wife and I just had a huge blue. She's already thrown 5 cricket balls at me: I said to her angrily, "One more, and it's over!!!"

 

[hawkman]

Which reminds me - the wife and I just had a huge blue. She's already thrown 5 cricket balls at me: I said to her angrily, "One more, and it's over!!!"

If she is throwing them at you there would be still another 6 to go

 

[Duck Farmer]

If she is throwing them at you there would be still another 6 to go

His wife is Sri Lankan.

 

[philreich]

If she is throwing them at you there would be still another 6 to go

Yeah but Darryl Hair isn't there to call her.

 

[Baldur]

nice melt

Flogs who when they have been humiliated falsely declare the poster who defeated them to be melting are losers.



Here have a toastie.

 

[jannissary]

Flogs who when they have been humiliated falsely declare the poster who defeated them to be melting are losers.

View attachment 2465768

Here have a toastie.

sounds like cope