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Think Tank Mofra's Lazy Bottom 40 for 2025

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Player #28 - Orazio Fantasia
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Pictured: Form an orderly queue, ladies

Orazio Fantastia is a former Essendon player who has since been delisted by both Carlton and Port Adelaide, a football CV just begging to be fleshed out with an AFLX appearance.

After his time at Essendon and then being cut by Port, Carlton snapped him up because they decided to top up for some inexplicable reason.
At one point Orazio being signed by Carlton led Kane Cornes to put Carlton firmly in Grand Final contention, and by contention I assume he meant they bought a Brisbane Lions membership solely for the priority access to tickets on the big day.

Orazio's time at Carlton wasn't quite what he hoped. A combination of niggles and Voss' "gameplan" of 'kick it and hope' meant he was okish last year but never really got going this year.
In 2025 he managed 6 games, 7 goals... 6-7 as the kids would say. No cap.

Orazio was involved in one notable incident in his career - Ben Stratton from Hawthorn was suspended after pinching Orazio repeatedly during a game in 2019, presumably yelling "no returns" each time. Fantasia sported a significant number of small bruises on his arm after the game, something 34 former Essendon players had experienced 8 years earlier.

Fun fact: 'Orazio' is a traditional Italian name that means 'keeper of the hour', something Launceston could learn from.

Raz, Razze-Dazzle, good luck for whatever next year holds. Welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.
Can we keep it to players on AFL teams?
 
Fantasia played 6 very underwhelming standard games this year. He is eligible despite being delisted.
I wouldn't call Carlton an AFL team though
 

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Surely lifetime achievement award?

He managed 12 seasons and 120 games

Should be arrested for fraud.

Not as bad as the player who retired this season on 119 games over 16 seasons.
 
I wouldn't call Carlton an AFL team though
Neither would I, actually I’m surprised V23 hasn’t divvy’d your comment yet.. too busy hanging out with his friends maybe
 

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Player #27 - Ben Hobbs
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Pictured: Ben Hobbs celebrates a victory, dating this photo to "not September"

Ben Hobbs is yet another first round draft pick who went to Essendon and developed about as well as a poloroid picture left in the sun, and then microwaved. Twice.

An "inside midfielder" as a junior, Hobbs played a substantial amount of his football at half-forward at AFL level which is generally where coaches stick players who should 'get a go' but can't really play anywhere else. 5 goals from 18 games this year should tell you about how well that turned out. His last 8 games at AFL level this year were losses

The real issue is that Ben Hobbs would have been a decent inside mid in the early to mid 90s, but football has changed. If youre not quick, not that great at running back in transition and not a great ball user, clubs are going to struggle to find a role for you. In the end a combination of not being athletic, and Essendon's talent pathway being about as effective as wet fairy floss, led to Ben Hobbs being delisted after 4 years and 65 games.

Fun fact: Hobbs grew up in Horsham, just like Brett & Adam Goodes and Portia de Rossi who was originally named Amanda Lee Rogers. Adam Goodes has always been known as Adam Goodes except among Collingwood supporters, who have given him names I prefer not to repeat.

Thanks Ben, good uck next year and welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.
 
Lovely pies drive-by.

Stick Around Bob Ross GIF by Originals
 
Adam Goodes has always been known as Adam Goodes except among Collingwood supporters, who have given him names I prefer not to repeat.

Dunno how anyone can mix up Collingwood and Carlton supporters, but there you go …

IMG_4347.jpeg
 
Surely lifetime achievement award?

He managed 12 seasons and 120 games

Should be arrested for fraud.

Not as bad as the player who retired this season on 119 games over 16 seasons.

Tom Campbell was even worse than that 58 games in 14 seasons

Luke Lowden is another that's right up there.

8 seasons for 1 game!

What makes it even more remarkable is that he actually played quite well in the one game he got. Kicked 3 goals and an assist. Also got 15 hit outs as a 2nd ruck up against Cox and Naitanui. Also had 3 clearances and 9 contested possessions amongst his 12 touches.

Pretty unlucky not to get another chance in 8 seasons.
 

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Player #26 - Luke Davie-Uniacke
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Pictured: Artwork I can only presume no female has ever seen

Luke Davies-Uniacke - better known as LDU - is an okish midfielder who signed the biggest contract in North Melbourne history. We know he's average because St Kilda chased him.

LDU was pick 4 in 2017, with Matthew 'domain name purchase to avoid the salary cap in 2000' Lloyd describing LDU as the “...the best junior I’ve seen come through” Haileybury college. In 2019 Lloyd mentioned he was 'staggered' at LDU's lack of development at North Melbourne, becoming the first persion ever to be surprised by North's lack of development of junior talent.

Somehow LDU managed to raise the bar over the years to 'ok', even winning the Syd Barker medal in 2024 (North's best and fairest which is named after an Essendon VFL player from the 1920s).

This year LDU signed a $9m contract over 7 years, basically getting paid Bontempelli money. Immediately after signing the contract his desire dropped by 2 or 3%, not a huge amount but just enought be noticeable. He finished this year strong, with big games against the Tigers and Crows but with LDU you're getting an inside mid who doesn't kick that well so opposition teams aren't that concerned if he's delivering the ball by foot. His defensive efforts are a quarter by quarter proposition and he just lacks a tiny buit of class or polish at times

Basically he's a solid B grader getting paid as an A grader surrounded by mostly D graders, which suits north perfectly because they've been BAD for years.

Funfact: At the time of signing his contract LDU had played in 22 wins out of 112 games.

LDU, good luck next year and well into the 2030s. Welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.
 
My top 10 prediction in no particular order:
Mason Cox
Simpkin
Some other Norf spud (e.g. Tucker had 0 disposals from 69% TOG in his last game if you need ideas Mofra )
Tim Kelly
Tom Lynch
Curnow
Owies
Oliver
Bailey Sniff
JUH
 
My top 10 prediction in no particular order:
Mason Cox
Simpkin
Some other Norf spud (e.g. Tucker had 0 disposals from 69% TOG in his last game if you need ideas Mofra )
Tim Kelly
Tom Lynch
Curnow
Owies
Oliver
Bailey Sniff
JUH
naicos should be second purely for the bit
 

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Think Tank Mofra's Lazy Bottom 40 for 2025

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