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I was driving down the freeway today and as I often do when Im on the freeway I stuck my head out the window of the car. It was while my head was outside the window that a thought struck me.
About 10 years ago I used to have a beautiful 67 HR.. fully schmick maaaaate, and I had a pair of black fluffy dice wrapped round the rear-vision mirror.
Anyway to cut a long story slightly less long, these dice were the catalyst for my HR being unroadworthied.
I was driving around the frankston beach carpark with a trailer on my car for some reason and I was about to park when I noticed the fuzz givin me the eye. Now back then Cops used to love harrassing me. I had long hair, a bushy beard and basically looked like I just walked out of the Jim Morrison hotel, so cops were always on my case.
Now my car looked great, but under the surface it was being held together by the barest of breasts, and I knew this and didnt want no fuzz looking round my car, so I drove off home.
The B'stards followed me and ended up pulling me over about 3 ks down the road, literally out the front of my house... They checked it over and said I should get a tail lite repaired and my 2 rear tyres were getting pretty bald.
They seemed happy with just giving me that advice and were about to leave when one of them noticed my fluffy dice and said you know you're not allowed to have them.
I said nah had no idea, I just keep em in case a game of craps comes out of nowhere.
This cop didnt like my jive talk and decided to put a canary on my car for teh tail light and tyres.
Anyway, over 6 months later and more than $5,000 on repairs I was still a couple of grand away from getting teh car right for roadworthy (had heaps of structural probs that engineers had to get into), and I was not going to be able to keep pumpin teh cash in.
By this stage I always had to park the car on a hill so I could roll start it.. I even mastered it off the smallest of hills and could start it from a couple of car parks in Clarendon st Sth Melb.
But yeah back to the topic, while my head was breathing in the air outside my car window today while doing 120 down the freeway, something struck me....
Fluffy Dice in cars serve absolutley no purpose whatsoever, and in my case, ended up being the starting point of the end of my car.
Im not sure why it took me 10 years to discover that, and why it was at that particular moment today that I realised that Fluffy Dice have no place in our lives. They dont do a thing, they wont let you put your hand up its dress, and casinos dont let you play with your own dice. Plus if you've ever actually tried to roll fluffy dice, you'd know that they dont really roll evenly... the same number keeps popping up, and you can always change the dots too easily.
On my way to work tomorrow, I'll stick the ole noggin out again and see if I can think of any other completley useless inanimate objects(apart from the Clokes).
About 10 years ago I used to have a beautiful 67 HR.. fully schmick maaaaate, and I had a pair of black fluffy dice wrapped round the rear-vision mirror.
Anyway to cut a long story slightly less long, these dice were the catalyst for my HR being unroadworthied.
I was driving around the frankston beach carpark with a trailer on my car for some reason and I was about to park when I noticed the fuzz givin me the eye. Now back then Cops used to love harrassing me. I had long hair, a bushy beard and basically looked like I just walked out of the Jim Morrison hotel, so cops were always on my case.
Now my car looked great, but under the surface it was being held together by the barest of breasts, and I knew this and didnt want no fuzz looking round my car, so I drove off home.
The B'stards followed me and ended up pulling me over about 3 ks down the road, literally out the front of my house... They checked it over and said I should get a tail lite repaired and my 2 rear tyres were getting pretty bald.
They seemed happy with just giving me that advice and were about to leave when one of them noticed my fluffy dice and said you know you're not allowed to have them.
I said nah had no idea, I just keep em in case a game of craps comes out of nowhere.
This cop didnt like my jive talk and decided to put a canary on my car for teh tail light and tyres.
Anyway, over 6 months later and more than $5,000 on repairs I was still a couple of grand away from getting teh car right for roadworthy (had heaps of structural probs that engineers had to get into), and I was not going to be able to keep pumpin teh cash in.
By this stage I always had to park the car on a hill so I could roll start it.. I even mastered it off the smallest of hills and could start it from a couple of car parks in Clarendon st Sth Melb.
But yeah back to the topic, while my head was breathing in the air outside my car window today while doing 120 down the freeway, something struck me....
Fluffy Dice in cars serve absolutley no purpose whatsoever, and in my case, ended up being the starting point of the end of my car.
Im not sure why it took me 10 years to discover that, and why it was at that particular moment today that I realised that Fluffy Dice have no place in our lives. They dont do a thing, they wont let you put your hand up its dress, and casinos dont let you play with your own dice. Plus if you've ever actually tried to roll fluffy dice, you'd know that they dont really roll evenly... the same number keeps popping up, and you can always change the dots too easily.
On my way to work tomorrow, I'll stick the ole noggin out again and see if I can think of any other completley useless inanimate objects(apart from the Clokes).
You think I wrote all that to have a go at the Clokes? Sorry to disappoint but I didnt. It's merely a case of whenever I here, think or see the word 'Inanimate', the word Cloke pops into my head.
