Parenting

[crownie]

A few people in their mid 20's i know will become fathers in the next few months and i am rather suprised and a little concerned at how easy they think it will be as they think they will still have time to be one of the boys and play sport.

A cousin on facebook a while ago after 3 days giving birth bragged on facebook about how good of a mother shes was. A week later the baby wouldnt sleep and all she did was complain and ended up with egg on her face.

 

[Messenger]

Yeah, rude awakening is around the corner.

 

[BLPC08]

I'm about to become a Dad. I'll be only 23, but i'd like to think my wife and I are prepared as best we can under the circumstances. I'm more than prepared to give up most, if not all, of my social life to be the best father I can be.

 

[Messenger]

Without wishing to get too mawkish think of the way your life is constructed now, knock it all down and rebuild it around your child. You can still do things, just not as many and not as often.

 

[Keys]

People who have kids will tell you it's the best thing they've ever done but rest assured there will be moments when you will regret having kids and despise the restrictions they bring to your lifestyle

Spontaneity becomes a luxury and you'll feel like youre packing for a weekend vacation when all you're doing is going to he shops

Anyone who thinks bringing up kids is a walk in he park is in for a rude shock but at the same time it's important to maintain some semblance of a normal life to maintain sanity

 

[SugarShane]

It scares me as well the sort of people that are responsible for another human's life. Especially the ones that appear to consider a baby as nothing more than a fashion accessory/easy path to tons of facebook likes.

 

[JuddsABlue]

I predict this thread will be full of people without a child explaining how hard raising a child is, and generally slag off on people with kids who are younger than 25 and claim they only do it to be cool

Majority of young parents have kids as an accident. Thats a shame yes, but it happens. They dont have them to be popular, but they keep them because they are excited about being a parent. They love their kids dearly and raise them in a social media society so its only natural people are going to hear about them a lot more, like we hear a lot more about peoples weekend activities and holidays a lot more now because of facebook etc

I'm not saying there arent bad parents out there, but majority of the people who comment on them are the least qualified to do so

 

[fairdinkum]

(With apologies to that guy in the suicide thread)

Procreation: a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

 

[crackers57]

(With apologies to that guy in the suicide thread)

Procreation: a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

This post lacks substance

 

[Smoooothy]

my cousin just had a baby, who was one of the "the other parents just weren't handling their baby's properly" types. she hasn't slept in 3 weeks..

also, she's palmed this kid off for sleepovers 4 times already. kids is 5 weeks old..

 

[Gough]

I predict this thread will be full of people without a child explaining how hard raising a child is, and generally slag off on people with kids who are younger than 25 and claim they only do it to be cool

Majority of young parents have kids as an accident. Thats a shame yes, but it happens. They dont have them to be popular, but they keep them because they are excited about being a parent. They love their kids dearly and raise them in a social media society so its only natural people are going to hear about them a lot more, like we hear a lot more about peoples weekend activities and holidays a lot more now because of facebook etc

I'm not saying there arent bad parents out there, but majority of the people who comment on them are the least qualified to do so

Back seat parenting I like to call it. I'll never have kids, but that does not stop me from having opinions on how kids should be raised. That said I will never call out a parent on the way they raise their kids because quite frankly, who the **** am I to be critic.

 

[gimp!]

my cousin just had a baby, who was one of the "the other parents just weren't handling their baby's properly" types. she hasn't slept in 3 weeks..

also, she's palmed this kid off for sleepovers 4 times already. kids is 5 weeks old..

can't handle the heat. cousin we hadn't seen for 2 years had a baby. all of a sudden she decided to get reacquainted with my mum. my mum looks after the kid at least twice a week now. how convenient.

 

[CraZdotcom]

I became a father at 24 and it's the best thing I have ever done in my life!

Great strong relationship with my partner (engaged) for 5 years. My daughter is now 7 months old and fortunately for us it has been pretty easy and I say easy because she is a great sleeper. yeah she has the same old problems like every baby has which is the teething, tantrums, really bad nappies but it's nothing compared to the stories I have heard from parents and others.

If I had any advice for new parents or soon to be parents it's compromise! Compromise with your partner give her some days/nights off from her routine life with the baby. My partner is a hockey player and missed all of last season due to her being pregnant for all of the season so I have taken a year off playing soccer so I could look after the bub and she could go off and train and get right back into it. She gets her time off from bub and I get my time.

In my opinion if you can't give up something and compromise for the sake your baby and your relationship. It will be a very rough first few months that's for sure.

 

[The Passenger]

In my opinion if you can't give up something and compromise for the sake your baby and your relationship. It will be a very rough first few months that's for sure.

i think one of the problems people are getting at is that there seems (on anecdotal evidence anyway) to be an increasing trend towards young parents (by today's standards, not by 50 years ago standards) to not be compromising about their lifestyle once they bring a baby into the world. not so much a lack of compromise with each other but with the general world. still indulging in those awesome summer saturday and sunday afternoon drinking sessions seems to show a bit of a lack of priorities.

of course one can't become completely tied down and cut off their social lives just because of a new born, but i've definately noticed over the last 2-3 years an increase in prams and little ones in social settings. maybe it's just me going to different places (getting older myself), maybe it's i just notice it more, i don't know.....

 

[Cap]

the only thing you can do with your social life is hope you have understanding friends and family.

We are lucky we have heaps of friends with kids (even ones very close to our own) but by god it is harder than anyone will ever ever tell you.

 

[Andre]

my cousin just had a baby, who was one of the "the other parents just weren't handling their baby's properly" types. she hasn't slept in 3 weeks..

also, she's palmed this kid off for sleepovers 4 times already. kids is 5 weeks old..

At 5 weeks old that's rich, but as a general one if you can get the grandparents or aunt's/uncle's to take your kids for an evening or afternoon jump at it without any shame. In order of maintaining sanity having kids wreck it in two main ways, lack of sleep and lack of time as a couple. Yeah, smelly nappies and finding out that going to the shops with a kid involves packing like you are going camping for 2 days suck, but on the scale of things:
Lack of sleep >>>>> daylight >>>>> lack of couple time >>>>> daylight >>>> any other inconvenience with kids is how it goes for short fuses, arguments and resentments at both kids and each other.

Once you've had kids you soon know why sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique. You just laugh at anyone saying they are so tired as they've spent all week up late or almost no sleep studying or partying. Until you've suffered months on end of curtailed sleep, ignorance really is bliss there. If I was able to only offer once piece of advice to parents to be or new parents, it'd be pick two nights a week. On one you take all kid duties from 8 pm to 8 am. Your partner can get 10+ hours sleep with no guilt for ignoring a crying kid. The other day you swap it. That one night of the week will become your highlight and salvation (to any non-parents, yeah it sounds pathetic, but just wait).

For couple time - take advantage of grandparents or other relatives - to get a once a fortnight or once a month time where you are without the kid(s). And get out of the house when you have it. The parent taking time off work especially needs to get out of the house or they'll go nuts (usually the mother and it's the father who'll suffer for it). I used to find the whole 'friends who try to have kids at the same time' thing stupid. Now I think they've got the right idea. To have that and be able to take turns baby sitting each others kids to give you more time without any kids is a major plus for them.

 

[SugarShane]

Back seat parenting I like to call it. I'll never have kids, but that does not stop me from having opinions on how kids should be raised. That said I will never call out a parent on the way they raise their kids because quite frankly, who the **** am I to be critic.

And none of us have ever played AFL either, yet here we are week after week criticizing the coaches and players that do.

 

[Gasometer]

Well if there's one things that you will never ever regret is having a kid.

My only two tips-

1. Teach them manners. It still goes along way.
2. Read and have books everywhere and if you cant afford books go to St Vinnies or anywhere.

....and pray to god they sleep everynight from day one to 2 years of age. Sleep deprivation is a bi&tch.

 

[exe ex machina]

5m. Who cares? The big message in this story here is "how you can make money" and not about actual parenting for dads. As if anyone genuinely cares about the advise itself. People looking at this story like "man, wish I came up with that idea "because money". Just another case of profiting from the vulnerability of (target audience).

---------------

A guy starts a parenting blog for dads. Smart, gutsy move, because virtually every parenting blog is geared towards moms.

From ground zero in 2015, to making $5.2 million in 2017 from his blog. And they've just kept growing.

https://www.businessinsider.com.au/...e-into-a-budding-ad-business-2017-6?r=US&IR=T

 

[exe ex machina]

The big thing about this story was -- look how a dude came up with an idea to make 5m dollars. And that's all the article itself cares about too. Look how some dude came up with a "brilliant" idea to make money.

But no one actually cares about the details of the blog itself, the messages/advice it's dishing out. Because people/dads will raise their kids how they see fit and no one on the internet is gonna tell me how to raise kids type thing.

The whole claim to fame about that story/guy is how he made money, and not the actual advice.

 

[Bomberboyokay]

 

[Hawk Dork]

I just avoid all my friends who have kids for about a decade maybe 2

 

[HairyO]

I didnt sleep for 5 years snd it ruined my marriage.

But Im much happier now.

So think of it as a long break up device.

 

[burge13]

Would love to see some actual stats on what % of relationships actually work when having kids in your early-mid 20's. Would suggest it's a very low %

Shows like 'Teen Mum' and '16 & Pregnant' sure didn't help. Glamorizing the idea/mistake of keeping a baby when you are in no position financially to look after it.

 

[FRUMPY]

Would love to see some actual stats on what % of relationships actually work when having kids in your early-mid 20's. Would suggest it's a very low %

Shows like 'Teen Mum' and '16 & Pregnant' sure didn't help. Glamorizing the idea/mistake of keeping a baby when you are in no position financially to look after it.

Would probably need to be divided into planned pregnancy and accidental. Accidental would be a very high rate of relationship splits. Planned not as high but would put a lot of pressure on relationship, financially (if neither are fully qualified in their jobs) and emotionally.