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Power Membership Application

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For those who are interested:

PORT POWER
MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION FORM


NAME…………………………………………………………………….( 2 mistakes allowed )

NAME…………………………………………………………………….( 2nd chance )

ADDRESS………………………………………………………………………………………...
( this means what is the name of the street your house is in and what is your house number.
If unsure of either – check the phone book for details but look under your own name or you will get it wrong.)

If address unknown – put a tick here…………..

DATE OF BIRTH………………………………..
( What day does everybody sing happy birthday to you?)

AGE……………..
( How many years have they been singing it to you?)

MOTHER’S NAME………………………………………....( mum will NOT do. What is her REAL name?)

FATHER’S NAME ( if known )…………………………………………………………...( NO SWEARING )

DO YOU HAVE A CAR? YES / NO
IS IT YOURS? YES / NO

REGISTRATION NUMBER…………………………….( found on piece of tin hanging from bumper bar)

DO YOU HAVE A DRIVERS LICENCE? YES / NO
IS IT YOURS? YES / NO
( Are you wearing POWER clothing on licence photo?) YES / NO

COULD YOU DRIVE PLAYERS, MATCH COMMITTEE OR OTHER SUPPORTERS TO:
a) HOME GAMES YES / NO
b) AWAY GAMES ( to keep costs down) YES / NO

DO YOU OWN A WASHING MACHINE? YES / NO

WOULD YOU BE PREPARED TO HELP WASH OUR TEAM FOOTY GEAR? YES / NO
( tick which……..socks….shorts….guernseys….jockstaps….hankies….bandages …. )

DO YOU OWN A BEACH SHACK? YES / NO

COULD WE USE IT FOR PLAYERS “ END OF SEASON TRIPS” ? YES / NO

DO YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN? YES / NO

ARE THEY YOURS? YES / NO

WOULD ANY OF THEM BE INTERESTED IN PLAYING FOR THE POWER? YES / NO
a) BOYS YES / NO
b) GIRLS YES / NO

HOW OLD ARE THEY? 1 – 10, 11 – 20, 21 – 30, 31 – 40, or don’t know?

DO YOU HAVE ANY LARGE FOOTBALL TROPHIES ( no name tags ) YOU WOULD BE
WILLING TO DONATE TO THE CLUB FOR OUR TROPHY CABINET? YES / NO


WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN ATTENDING OUR END OF SEASON DINNER? YES / NO

COULD YOU BRING ANYTHING ALONG ON THE NIGHT?
( e.g. peas, carrots, cordial and plastic cups, jelly ) YES / NO

ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? YES / NO

WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO LEAD OUR SUPPORTERS IN PRAYER:
a) BEFORE HOME GAMES? YES / NO
b) BEFORE AWAY GAMES? YES / NO
c) BEFORE WE PLAY THE CROWS? YES / NO
d) START TO FINISH OF A CROWS GAME? YES / NO

PART TWO – I.Q TEST

PICK THE TV SHOW ( tick the right name from the clues given )

BLANKETY______________CHEQUE / BLANKET / BLANKS / TROPHY CUPBOARD / DON’T KNOW
I DREAM OF_____________ A PREMIERSHIP / MARK RUCCIUTO / JEANNIE / THE CROWS / DON’T KNOW
STAR TREK, THE NEXT____FOOTY SHOW / AFL TEAM / CROWS PARADE / GENERATION / DON’T KNOW
GET_____________________NEIL CRAIG / LOST / SOME CROWS PLAYERS / SMART / DON’T KNOW
HEY HEY IT’S ___________THE CROWS AGAIN / SMOKO / SATURDAY / ANOTHER DEFEAT / DON’T KNOW
WHO WANTS TO BE A ___MILLIONAIRE / POWER SUPPORTER / STUPID / BEN HART / DON’T KNOW

WHAT GOES WITH WHAT ( tick the right word from the clues given )

WILLIAMS______________ROBIN / ESTER / R.M. / MARK / THE SHOE MAN / DON’T KNOW
CUNNINGHAM__________WAREHOUSE / BRIAN / BRAIN / K.G. / DON’T KNOW
RUSSELL_______________MORRIS / SPROUT / EBERT / JACK / DON’T KNOW
DEW___________________MORNING / PUT THE RUBBISH OUT / STUART / FART / DON’T KNOW
PORT__________________OF SPAIN / DOCK / POWER / MELBOURNE / BOTTLE / DON’T KNOW
WARREN______________BEATTY / RABBIT / TREDREA / PEACE / DON’T KNOW

PICK THE ODD ONE OUT ( tick the right one from the clues given )

FEBRUARY 30th / MAY 38th / JUNE 40th / OCTOBER 33rd / APRIL 1st / DON’T KNOW
SPOON / SOON / MOON / BOON / CHEESE / GOON / SWOON / DON’T KNOW
A, B, C, D, 4, E, F, G, H, I, DON’T KNOW
GOODWIN / VAN BERLO / BIGLANDS / BOCK / McLEOD / BURGOYNE / DON’T KNOW
MCG / SCG / AAMI STADIUM / SUBIACO / GABBA / WEMBLEY / DON’T KNOW

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS SENTENCE?

I THINKS THE CROWS IS THE BESTEST TEAM IN SOUTH STRAYLIA

a) BAD SPELING
b) BAD GRAMMA
c) BAD GRANDMA
d) NO PORT POWER PLAYERS IN THE CROWS TEAM
e) DON’T KNOW

TO FIND OUT IF YOUR MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION HAS BEEN SUCCESSFUL, PLEASE PUT A STAMP ON BOTH SIDES OF AN ENVELOPE AND LEAVE ONE SIDE BLANK. WE WILL ADVISE YOU BY RETURN MAIL.

AS YOU MAYBE AWARE, THERE IS AN ACCUTE SHORTAGE OF BEDS IN OUR HOSPITALS. COULD YOU PLEASE LIST IN ORDER, YOUR PREFERRED POWER MEMBERSHIP SURGERY AND WE WILL TRY TO ALLOACTE YOU A BED IN THE APPROPRIATE HOSPITAL AS ONE BECOMES AVAILABLE.

a) MOUTH ENLARGEMENT. b) ONE EYE REMOVED.( left or right ) c) BRAIN REMOVED
GOOD LUCK
A.NONIMUS
 
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Kane McGoodwin said:
For those who are interested:

PORT POWER
MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION FORM

TO FIND OUT IF YOUR MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION HAS BEEN SUCCESSFUL, PLEASE PUT A STAMP ON BOTH SIDES OF AN ENVELOPE AND LEAVE ONE SIDE BLANK. WE WILL ADVISE YOU BY RETURN MAIL.

/QUOTE]

Good work old son. Should i post in on the Port boatd? :confused: :D
 

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Blue Red and Gold said:
Wait for all the sense of humour lacking Port supporters to come screaming in, claiming we have an obsession with the Power blah blah blah.

only the ones that can read :D
 
The Crows Truth said:
Good work old son. Should i post in on the Port boatd? :confused: :D

No, don't. You'll get 7 or 8 actually fill it in and then you'll need to break the bad news to them that it's not actually real.
 
Gold!!! What else can be said. Starting an e-mail with it attached as i speak.
Keep up the good work boys
 

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I got this emailed to me about a week ago, but I honestly failed to find anything funny about it.

I think it may have been something about Carlton and someone tried to adapt it to Port, because much of it seems to relate to a club that doesnt have any money and Port certainly are financially strong enough so most of it seems totally irrelevant towards Port Adelaide.

I'm all for having a dig at Port, but this one isnt even remotely funny unfortunately
 
relapse said:
I got this emailed to me about a week ago, but I honestly failed to find anything funny about it.

I think it may have been something about Carlton and someone tried to adapt it to Port, because much of it seems to relate to a club that doesnt have any money and Port certainly are financially strong enough so most of it seems totally irrelevant towards Port Adelaide.

I'm all for having a dig at Port, but this one isnt even remotely funny unfortunately
Each to their own.
 

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