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Public speaking

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siamang

siamang

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I have just found out that I will have to give a short speech in two weeks. This will ruin the next two weeks for me because I will not be able to think of anything else. I seldom have problems in informal situations, but when a talk involves standing up and facing an audience, I quickly try to worm my way out of it or hope that all those about to listen will die swiftly before I utter a word. Well, that last bit was an exaggeration...maybe.:D

How do you react when faced with the dreaded public speech? Do you feel like you're about to head into a war zone, or are you indifferent, or looking forward to the occasion?
 
I used to be a nervous wreck because I wasn't prepared. However if you read what you have to say and basically know it of by heart then you will be fine.
 

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The fear of public speaking is something I have never really understood.

Over the last 5 years, I have averaged about 200 hours pa of public speaking/presentations of groups from 20 through to 2,000+.

To me, the nerves just sharpen the mind and help me think more clearly - but I have a couple of colleagues who go completely the opposite - can't think and almost lose control of their mouth muscles :D

Its actually funny to watch them.

If you know your topic and realise that 90% of the room are on your side (because they are glad they arent in your shoes) that might help. Some fear being exposed for lack of knowledge, which is more of an issue if you are taking questions, even then just answer only what you know - if you dont know, simply answer "I am not sure, happy to look at that and get back to you.." and then move on. Most people make fools of themselves making up answers....

Just do your prep and you'll be fine. It also does get easier - I have a 2 hour presentation on Tuesday and I havent looked at the papers I am presenting yet - you do get quite relaxed the more of the stuff you do.

If you totally **** up, lose your thoughts or discover mid sentence that your fly is undone, be yourself and just move on - its just people you are talking to - most of them are ********s anyway :p
 
I used to hate public speaking but now I kind of like it because it means everyones looking at me and listening to what im saying.
 
As Eagle87 stated, when you realise that everyone in room is on your side, it really helps.

Plus, know your material inside out. Practice the material by presenting it to family & friends. Actually speaking the material rather than just reading it makes a BIG difference.
 
TimeIsRunningOut said:
Well... he could stuff up, completely embarrass & humiliate himself in front of a large group of people and have to walk out in shame with his tail between his legs.
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And by the next day, everyone will have forgotten.

People make these into huge things inside their own heads and end up psyching themselves out.
I'm guessing whatever this guy in doing a speech for isn't a massive deal and in reality the people in the crowd aren't going to be overly critical or even overly attentive probably.

If you go out with a laid back and confident attitude (providing you know your material well), everything will be fine. And if not, you shrug it off and move on. Far worse things in life.
 
90% of the time people don't care what you really have to say in these small presentation things.... so relax

just try and relax, and make sure you know the material... it'll make a huge difference

on the other note, i did a presentation a few weeks ago.... the class didn't give a crap..... the tutor was a massive tool though, showed no respect to myself or my group members.... shook his head in disagreement throughout..... and even questioned our and the classes knowledge of the material
 
siamang said:
How do you react when faced with the dreaded public speech? Do you feel like you're about to head into a war zone, or are you indifferent, or looking forward to the occasion?
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Yeah this public speaking bullshit is for the birds. Absolutely hate the attention.

I get what you're saying, how your next 2 weeks is ruined.

Same thing happened to me when I was asked to be best man at a mate's wedding. Except it ruined a whole year of my life! Every time I went to bed I thought about how horrible it was going to be, just lying there awake, panicking and shit :thumbsd: Probably should have been a proud moment in my life, being asked to speak at a very close friend's wedding, but the ONLY thing I could think about was the speech, lol

Turned out to be a bit of a nothing moment. My plan was to get smashed on free wine then wing it, get it over real quick. But I didn't get a chance to down much alcohol and was stone cold sober by the time I had to talk. I was shitting myself. Didn't help that my mate just made the BEST SPEECH I've ever heard seconds before I was due up. I could only fail from there on in!

And fail I did. Just stood there for like 10 seconds with my mouth open, trying to hide behind the microphone, trying to control my bowels, and finally I managed to squeak out 'aaaaaah I'djustliketoproposeatoasttothebrideandgroom

.......sorry'

Then proceeded to skull my drink and skull about a dozen more while my friends told me it was no big deal and the old women took pity on me. It was a pretty low moment but I was just glad it was all over to be honest

To this day I still can't public speak, if anything I've gotten worse, lol even in uni tutorials i would sooner lose 10% of my overall mark than read shit out to the class
 
I used to struggle with public speaking as well. I would rush through it, fail to convey my points through the blur of words and just get it over with as soon as possible. However, now I am fine with it and do it regularly in most facets of my life.

I think the three main points are to know the material, even if you want to have notes up there with you, know it to the level you won't even look at them. Secondly, have your own style - if you don't try to be someone you're not up there it makes it a lot easier. Finally, depending on the size of the group, talk to the people at the very back. If you can engage the people all the way along the back row, everyone else will be engaged as a result.
 
All of the advice about knowing your subject is accurate. Having achieved that, take a moment between when you get to podium or stage where you're going to speak, and when you actually start talking. Look around the room. Don't focus on anyone in particular. Think of why you're there. Give yourself some chance of assuming control.

I know this sounds queer, but if you're not shitting yourself by this stage, take a deliberate moment to enjoy listening to what you're saying, as you say it. If you can actually get some enjoyment out of it, you're less likely to think of it as a tortuous process in the future. It's about deliberately enjoying the experience and feeling comfortable. There's no guarantee you'll be able to do either.

The worst thing that can happen is that they'll put you in front of a firing squad at dawn the next morning. A mere bag of telles.
 
Valentino Dmitri said:
Same thing happened to me when I was asked to be best man at a mate's wedding. Except it ruined a whole year of my life! Every time I went to bed I thought about how horrible it was going to be, just lying there awake, panicking and shit :thumbsd: Probably should have been a proud moment in my life, being asked to speak at a very close friend's wedding, but the ONLY thing I could think about was the speech, lol
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See this is exactly why I try to not make any friends.
 
Used to absolutely hate it, but now I'm fine with it.

It's amazing what reading through the material a couple of times can do. I found that a lot of the anxiety used to come from not being confident in what I was talking about.

Have a fifteen minute presentation for uni this Friday and I'm looking forward to getting it over and done with.

Still get a little edgy now and again, but it's a good feeling once it's all over.
 

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The WORST part about any presentation or public speaking is the wait. Granted, I haven't had to actually speak out in front of LARGE crowds for a long time (about 500 Teachers and Children when I was 11 was about the last one), but thats what I find with class/lecture presentations. I assume it would be scale for larger and more important speeches too.
 
Valentino Dmitri said:
Yeah this public speaking bullshit is for the birds. Absolutely hate the attention.

I get what you're saying, how your next 2 weeks is ruined.

Same thing happened to me when I was asked to be best man at a mate's wedding. Except it ruined a whole year of my life! Every time I went to bed I thought about how horrible it was going to be, just lying there awake, panicking and shit :thumbsd: Probably should have been a proud moment in my life, being asked to speak at a very close friend's wedding, but the ONLY thing I could think about was the speech, lol

Turned out to be a bit of a nothing moment. My plan was to get smashed on free wine then wing it, get it over real quick. But I didn't get a chance to down much alcohol and was stone cold sober by the time I had to talk. I was shitting myself. Didn't help that my mate just made the BEST SPEECH I've ever heard seconds before I was due up. I could only fail from there on in!

And fail I did. Just stood there for like 10 seconds with my mouth open, trying to hide behind the microphone, trying to control my bowels, and finally I managed to squeak out 'aaaaaah I'djustliketoproposeatoasttothebrideandgroom

.......sorry'

Then proceeded to skull my drink and skull about a dozen more while my friends told me it was no big deal and the old women took pity on me. It was a pretty low moment but I was just glad it was all over to be honest

To this day I still can't public speak, if anything I've gotten worse, lol even in uni tutorials i would sooner lose 10% of my overall mark than read shit out to the class
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Pretty sure you need a big delicious glass of 'harden the f*** up'.
Seriously, are you sure you weren't a bridesmaid?

I don't know whether this is a joke or not.... A year fretting about a speech at a wedding, when 99% of the people are to blind to give a crap anyways. Lame man, real lame.
 
DoubleO7 said:
Anti-Anxiety Pills should do you well. :thumbsu:
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my mate bought some xanax from malaysia or somewhere. i had it for the first time the other night. if you wanna basically wanna forget about the whole public speaking experience then i'd highly recommend it. the actual speach won't go very well though.
 
I used to be like you, but got older, less self-conscious, and became a primary school teacher....

It's water off a duck's back now. It's the same as everything else that makes you scared- the more you do it, the less scary it is.

Nothing bad can happen to you, save a little mild embarassment. No-one will die or even get injured. I know it seems like a big deal, but it isn't. Deep down you know this :thumbsu:
 
estibador said:
See this is exactly why I try to not make any friends.
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That's a good philosophy :thumbsu:

The way I see it, you want to be good friends with people, but not so good that you are their closest mate. Try and aim for about second or third. That way you still get to be a groomsman if they get married, which is a pretty sweet gig. Sitting at the big table with the important people, wearing a nice suit, getting *just* enough attention without getting too much. And not having to give no speeches!

If I had my time again, I would have mildly screwed over the groom at some point, just enough so that he could forgive me, but not to the extent that he'd want me giving a speech at his wedding.
Invigoration said:
Pretty sure you need a big delicious glass of 'harden the f*** up'.
Seriously, are you sure you weren't a bridesmaid?

I don't know whether this is a joke or not.... A year fretting about a speech at a wedding, when 99% of the people are to blind to give a crap anyways. Lame man, real lame.
Click to expand...

I'm brave when it comes to other things though - snakes, horses, severe coldness, loneliness, you name it I can take it. It's just talking to more than 3 people that I am afraid of. That, and spiders :thumbsd:
 

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