Home & Garden Spiders can get ****ed

[Quivorir]

Getting really annoyed now. Killing a spider a day atleast. Dunno what they are. Look kinda like a huntsman but with a fat ass with a white puss in it ( honestly looks like cum) anybody know what the **** it is?

 

[Cruyff14]

If it was long and thin with a white spot on the end of its abdomen it would have been a white tail.

 

[Quivorir]

Nah its not a white tail,got the body type of a huntsman just with a massive fat round furry ass.

 

[Flawed Genius]

the body type of a huntsman just with a massive fat round furry ass.

Kim Kardashian?

 

[showdownhero]

Ladies and gentlemen please welcome to the stage the infamous Sydney Funnel Web

 

[Caesar]

A huntsman dropped on my shoulder whilst I was shaving the other day, and I put a 5 inch gash in my neck.

 

[Simple Jack]

A huntsman dropped on my shoulder whilst I was shaving the other day, and I put a 5 inch gash in my neck.

They've studied us to find our weaknesses.

Very clever attack timing.

Edit: Do you shave with a straight razor?

 

[Caesar]

Nah, a double edge safety. If it was a straight razor I'd probably be in hospital.

 

[ioppolo]

Huntsmans are actually quite harmless to humans, they don't have a sufficient amount of venom to do any serious damage.

But they're big and move very quickly

 

[Big Jono]

Wait... Huntsmen have venom? I thoguht they were completely harmless.

I just had to vacuum one off the toilet roll holder, then sprayed fly spray down the nozzle with the vacuum still going for a minute to gas it to death.

 

[lenny&carl]

We have these happy chappies in Western Australia...

about as big as a 50 cents i guess. They come out after the rain and walk in straight lines. Vicious looking ****ers, and pretty venomous too.

I myself got done by an unseen spider just the other day....lost my mobile in some bushes, (while drunk,) and got smacked on the hand by a something. At first I thought snake, so I ran off. My naturalist friend says unlikely to be a snake, maybe a scorpion? But the double fang marks say spider. Finger swole up to double size, but I got the antibiotics in before necrotising arachnidism could set in. I'm glad i didn't see the bugger.

 

[Cruyff14]

Is that a mouse spider?

 

[Ron The Bear]

Just count yourselves lucky that we don't have brown recluse spiders here.

 

[RU_]

Why do I keep opening this thread?!

 

[Bowski]

****ing huntsman in the letter box. Shat myself.

 

[rustyg70]

Im not really bothered by spiders,but their webs shit me.
Nothing worse than walking face first into a spiders web,then having to do the Spider Web dance trying to get it off you and then wondering where the owner of the web is.

 

[edgie]

Just count yourselves lucky that we don't have brown recluse spiders here.

Against better judgement, I decided to google image them.

You bastard

 

[rocker_oz33]

Crab spiders look kinda cool,in there spindery kinda way.

 

[tb_fanboy]

went to grab a skateboard that was leaning on an outdoor table and a big mofo spider dropped down and SCARED THE HELL outta me

if that wasnt bad enough just had the first snake all summer and it looked tiny but as i striked it with the shovel (well actually my mum)it stretched out to be long and IT TURNED at FULL speed for ME! id like to say that i kept calm I can't...

 

[Cruyff14]

So you actually shit yourself?

 

[tb_fanboy]

I honestly can't tell if youre serious so i edited it........

 

[Cruyff14]

You said kept "calm and clean, and I didn't."

Hence my question.

 

[CrimsonButterfly]

watch out spider!

not cool.

 

[Blues_Man]

Just had an encounter with one that seemed to have superpowers.

About the size of a 50 cent piece, but **** me, could this move fast. I've never seen a spider move with as much pace as this bugger just then. Was on my computer desk's edge, lost track of it for literally two seconds, and it appeared on the other side of the desk, meaning it had to go around coz I certainly didn't see it go on top.

Coz I'm a ****ing wuss when it comes to these bitches, I got an empty colgate carton to try and catch it (no way am I putting my hand next close to it with tissues). I tried to capture the spider on the desk by placing the carton over it (sort of like enclosing a spider on the desk with a glass), but because of its pace, I kept missing. Kept trying to catch it for about ten times, but this spider so damn fast.

Then I cornered it on the edge of the desk. Thoughts it was gonna go around the side or perhaps around the back (adjacent to the wall) so I couldn't catch it, but what happened next astonished me.

From about 5cm from the edge of the desk, the spider ran off it and flew through the air toward the ground

When it hit the ground the spider legged it for all it was worth. Somehow, after trying to still capture it with the colgate carton I got it on the 5th attempt.

Sealed off the open end of the carton, went to the toilet, shook the mother****er out of there so it landed in the water, and I flushed the bitch down.

Spiders can get ****ed

edit: didnt use insect spray coz I couldnt find it

I seriously hope you are a female ..because any grown man being scared of a Spider is pathetic and embarrassing.

 

[Smoooothy]

i am unashamedly pathetic and embarassing