The Crap Beer Thread

[Macca19]

Following up from Darky's beer drinking thread
i wondered what everyone finds to be the worst beer they have ever had???

Im not a big beer drinker anyway - im a spirits man, but i do like a nice drop...unfortunatly the beer ive had has tended to be ****house

My first ever beer was a Hahn Ice - and that nearly put me off beer for life. How anyone can drink that stuff is beyond me...its feral. Tastes like what i would imagine a cocktail of watered down cat p!ss, camel p!ss and human p!ss would taste like.

VB is not as bad as that but its still shocking in taste. I dunno how you victorians can drink that stuff!! Is it just because its 'Victorian' and you wanna stay loyal to your state?? Thats the only reason i can come up with why people would drink taht. Marketing does crazy things and im sure if someone started selling dog crap in bread and marketed it as well as VB - then you victorians would eat it by the dozen as well.

Those two would be my worst 2 beers ive experienced. After having Coopers Pales religiously for the last year - then nothing compares

 

[Diatribe]

All of hahns beers are terrible, tooheys are just as bad, if not worse.

I actually like Fosters and Crown Lager. Infact any lager, not realy ales. Stout isn't bad either.

 

[Darky]

As mentioned in the other thread, Fosters Special is vile, as is Schofferhofer wheat beer. I can't defend Fosters Special in any way, but I accept that wheat beers can be an acquired taste like stouts (love stouts, BTW).

Domestically, Crown lager is like flat Carlton Cold, and more expensive.

Tooheys (all types) have a reindeer on the can so you can see what pissed inside it.

Carlsberg is very popular in the UK but I've no idea why. It's awful and Carlsberg Elephant (higher alcohol volume) is even worse (see Tooheys animal urine reference).

There must be a law somewhere that says if you make a beer 8.5-9% alcohol it must be vile. Carlsberg and Fosters adhere to it, and surprisingly Tennents of Scotland do too - their standard lager at 5% is beautiful but their extra strong or whatever it's called is foul. These beers don't necessarily taste more alcoholic, they just taste bad.

 

[mantis]

Where do I start.
Emu Bitter & Emu Export, at least they let you know by the labels what type of piss you are drinking.

Tooheys anything, XXXX. all those cold ones that taste like water & most of the low alcohol beers.

 

[Blues_Girl]

Originally posted by Macca19

My first ever beer was a Hahn Ice - and that nearly put me off beer for life. How anyone can drink that stuff is beyond me...its feral. Tastes like what i would imagine a cocktail of watered down cat p!ss, camel p!ss and human p!ss would taste like.

You would have to be the first male i've ever heard describe most beers to perfection!

 

[hilly]

-Tooheys (simply the worst)
-VB (sorry VB fans...it is a little bit better out of the can though imo)

Haven't tried a XXXX yet so can't really add an opinion on it

 

[windyhill]

Tooheys,and anything light.

 

[Joe Mama]

West End and Southwark beers are terrible, maybe it's just the water, but some of thier top of the range beers are quite good.

XXXX, and anything by Castlemaine-Perkins is ordinary really.

Every beer in New Zealand except Steinlager is awful, especially Lion Red, WHICH TASTES LIKE P!SS.

Domestic beers from America, (eg Budweiser, Miller Lite), feel like drinking water, as well as Corona, which tastes even worse with the lemon inside.

But, there are no bad beers just some are better than others, and thats true with spirits as well as wine.

 

[Blues_Brat]

The two worst Aussie beers I have had are Tohheys and XXXX. I feel nauseas thinking about them.

Swan Mid is bloody awful as well. Why drink goats piss if it won't even get you drunk?

I must becoming acclimatised to Perth, I find Swan Draught to be drinkable and Emu Bitter a distant 2nd.

The beer I miss from Adelaide is Coopers Pale Ale and Southwark. Funny how non-South Aussies find Southwark totally undrinkable, guess it's what you're brought up on. We don't call it 'Dreen Death' for nothing.

 

[Bloodstained Angel]

West End Draught - way too sweet and rather flat as well.

VB - tastes soapy and gets worse the more you drink it.

anything Tooheys - see comments above re West End

Fosters - leave it to the tourists, virtually undrinkable

Reschs - this NSW tap beer is popular in the Western Suburbs, I'll leave them to it !

Anything lite - its like low tar ciggies and sex with condoms, just not the real thing !

Southwark Bitter - its sour, not bitter and thats a crucial difference.

Castlemaine XXXX - never liked it and I've tried to like it as well. Has a flat foretaste and a sour, vaguely smelly finish.

Crown Lager - Australia's most overated beer.

any American Beer - why are they so watery ?

Carlsberg - yuk, has a finish that is way too fullsome and leaves me gagging on it a bit.

cheers

 

[Still Crowing]

Actually, IMHO Tooheys New is a great beer, as is Tooheys Old (Dark).
Resches is shi te, so is MB, VB, any Hahn beer.

Still, nothing beats a Coopers (Pale, Sparkling, Dark, Stout) Pretty much put a Coopers label on it, as long as it's not light, and it's gold. Thank Huey that it is now available Aussie wide or I'd be having some serious withdrawl symptoms 'bout now.

 

[TigerTank]

The cold filtered beers taste OK (if bland) but give shocking headaches.

That is because "Chill filtered" really means "Nil filtered" - all the bad crap in beer that they usually use chemicals to get rid of is, well, it's still in there (for similar reasons Port also gives shocking belters). Cold filtering clearly doesn't work as well as chemical filtering.

XXXX is very ordinary, as are most American and Canadian beers.

I don't mind SA or WA beers, and used to drink Tasmanian lagers as 'beer of choice' until they became 'trendy'.

I don't like Melbourne Bitter as a first-up thirst quencher - it's got razor blades in it, but it is the best after you've already had a few.

Fosters is the opposite - great to wet the whistle and get you going because it is very easy on the tastebuds, but is not strong enough after a half a dozen or so.

I like to mix my beers up a bit - people who drink VB and haven't bothered to try anything else don't know what they are missing.


Recipe for a good beer night?

2 x Fosters (or Tooheys New - similar)

followed by,

6 x Carlton Draught (or Crown, which is like Draught in a fancy bottle)

finish with,

Melbourne Bitter.

 

[GOALden Hawk]

Anything north of the border (Tooheys, Hahn or XXXX) and anything light. Special mention to Tooheys Red - pure evil.

 

[Sly77]

XXXX is complete and utter **** I can't understand how these silly banana benders drink the stuff.

VB is rather ordinary up here - the Victorian brew is much nicer - however it is still better than XXXX.

These are basically the only two beers offered on tap in Qld.

If I drink beer - its generally when I'm out and cheapskating it for a night - so VB does the trick (or crown larger during happy hour) so I cant really comment on many other beers. Those chilled beers, Carlton Cold etc taste like water, and I've tasted a couple of the newer Tooheys variety's and they're very very ordinary

 

[Blues_Brat]

Does anyone actually drink Fosters? I that's an awful beer.

I honestly don't know one person who drinks the stuff. Yet it is supposedly our most popular beer. I asked the woman behind the bar one night at my former regular place in Adelaide "how long have thos cans of Fosters been sitting in the bottom of the fridge?".. She said they had been there for at least 4 months, not one had been sold.

I think the Fosters that is brewed overseas is better than the local product. I was in some small shop in Hungary and saw a few 440ml cans of it there, bought one for a laugh and bugger me, it tasted ok. Go figure.

 

[Jars458]

South Australia - Coopers Black Crow - thank god they canned it

Australia - XXXX and West End Draught

Overseas -Numero Uno - you can't begin to imagine how bad this is.

 

[TigerTank]

Blues_Brat,

When was the last time you actually drank Fosters?

I drink it and like it. It doesn't taste especially different from Crown Lager.

It may be a "soft" beer (as opposed to Melbourne Bitter or XXXX which are "hard" beers), but so is Tooheys New and (to an extent) VB.

Fosters is still very popular with older Australians - I admit I am one of the rare younger ones who drinks it.

 

[Blues_Brat]

The aforementioned trip to Europe would have been the last time and that wasn't the same drop they brew here.

Like I say, I personally don't know one person who drinks it and the last time I had it here, I didn't enjoy it.

I think I might have to grab a couple of cans on the way home tonight. My curiosity has the better of me..

 

[TigerTank]

Blues_Brat,

I want a full report here tomorrow.

(PS. you should also grab a couple of other varieties to measure it against)

Have fun!

 

[Uncle Steve]

Originally posted by Blues_Brat
Does anyone actually drink Fosters? I that's an awful beer.

[snip]

I think the Fosters that is brewed overseas is better than the local product. I was in some small shop in Hungary and saw a few 440ml cans of it there, bought one for a laugh and bugger me, it tasted ok. Go figure.

I was at a nightclub in Barcelona and ordered a cerveza. Much to my incredulity, the only cerveza they sold was Fosters. Colour me stupefied.

It seemed to me that Fosters and Budweiser were the beers of choice among Londoners. All the ex-pat Aussies swear it tastes better in UK than it does in Oz - but why would you travel halfway around the world to drink that bilgewater?

 

[PiesPremiers]

i hate all beers!!

bring on the beam and cola!