Society & Culture The GD Board blueballed/cockblocked thread

[jonoman89]

An old friend of mine and I have a bit of a sexual history. Every few nights or so we'd go out together something would happen whether it be a kiss or something else.

So anyway, earlier this year she'd gotten a boyfriend. It was pretty obvious that this was serious, not a common teenage fling or something...and i got the message that our previous 'liberal' attitudes towards our friendship was no longer going to be the deal. Much to my dismay i might add.

A bare 2 weeks or so since she'd been going out with this guy, i got a text saying how much she wanted to come over and watch a movie and hang out. Now, this was pretty obvious booty calling. At least i thought it was.

She came over, we were lying on my bed watching the movie and as per usual things got a bit heated. Hands were all over each other. Then we stopped for a bit because a friend came into the room. During convo with said friend she grabbed my phone, started writing a text message. i look to see what she wrote: 'i'm ****ing wet'.

OK, sweet.....But when i went in to kiss her she pushed away and said that it was 'wrong'. Yet at the time my hand was squarely between her legs and she was moaning. Again i went in to kiss her. No deal.

Although confused, i was just thinking she was playing a stupid girly mind game due to her continued moaning and the text. I then placed her hand on my crotch to see whether she'd yield to my obviously fearsome seductorial skills. No deal. Massive no deal.

She bolted up from the bed muttering she had to go home. I asked her wtf was going on and she said she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. I then asked why she was moaning if she felt this way. She dodged the question and walked out.

...the ****?

*needless to say, did fap after she left

 

[r dub 19]

An old friend of mine and I have a bit of a sexual history. Every few nights or so we'd go out together something would happen whether it be a kiss or something else.

So anyway, earlier this year she'd gotten a boyfriend. It was pretty obvious that this was serious, not a common teenage fling or something...and i got the message that our previous 'liberal' attitudes towards our friendship was no longer going to be the deal. Much to my dismay i might add.

A bare 2 weeks or so since she'd been going out with this guy, i got a text saying how much she wanted to come over and watch a movie and hang out. Now, this was pretty obvious booty calling. At least i thought it was.

She came over, we were lying on my bed watching the movie and as per usual things got a bit heated. Hands were all over each other. Then we stopped for a bit because a friend came into the room. During convo with said friend she grabbed my phone, started writing a text message. i look to see what she wrote: 'i'm ****ing wet'.

OK, sweet.....But when i went in to kiss her she pushed away and said that it was 'wrong'. Yet at the time my hand was squarely between her legs and she was moaning. Again i went in to kiss her. No deal.

Although confused, i was just thinking she was playing a stupid girly mind game due to her continued moaning and the text. I then placed her hand on my crotch to see whether she'd yield to my obviously fearsome seductorial skills. No deal. Massive no deal.

She bolted up from the bed muttering she had to go home. I asked her wtf was going on and she said she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. I then asked why she was moaning if she felt this way. She dodged the question and walked out.

...the ****?

*needless to say, did fap after she left

Win

6 probsts.

 

[rossi]

This ties in with my loss of virginity story.

I was 14 and had the gf over. She was virginal as well and a darling thing. She had decided this was going to be her big night. Notice I didn't say "our" big night because I had lied to her about having previous sexual experience in hopes that she would come around to seeing it as a simple casual act. Obviously this tactic worked. Mostly.

Just as I got the helmet through the floral gate she changed her freakin' mind. I yielded to her wishes to interruptus the coitus. What mad reasoning? I figured even though I couldn't tell my friends I had sealed the deal, I could tell them it was because my dick was too big and she couldn't take it. Good enough.

Being only 14 and not yet old enough to drive my brother had to drive us back to her house to drop her off. The gf and I sat in back during the ride and my balls starting hurting all fierce like. She noticed, started rubbing my crotch while whispering in my ear, "Sorry, I'll take care of it next time." Like that was going to help matters FFS?

When I got back home, I bolted immediately to my bedroom, jumped in the sack and began spanking like my life depended upon - which I do believe it did. The resulting powerful shot sounded out like the boom of a cannon resonating through the entire neighborhood. Dogs began barking, lights in houses were flipped on in rapid order and the tornado siren went off. To this day there's still a hole in the ceiling of my old bedroom at mom & dad's house.

So that was that. A couple of weeks later, she and I finally did go through with the act, but it was strange time in the interim. I was trapped in a sort of strange extra-dimensional quasi-vriginal limbo plane. Normally I would advise that if you are in doubt as to the status of your own virginity, then your'e a virgin. My situation was different. I had been in the sanctified chamber part way, but it wasn't the full on fair. I was simultaneously in and out of the sexual spacetime continuum. It's a wonder I didn't start turning invisible like Marty McFly or some shit like that.

Main point of the story is that either:

A My dick is too big for 14 year old virgin girls OR
B Maybe I accidentally put it in her ass.

Peace,

So, so epic. 5 stars.

 

[no orange peeler]

An old friend of mine and I have a bit of a sexual history. Every few nights or so we'd go out together something would happen whether it be a kiss or something else.

So anyway, earlier this year she'd gotten a boyfriend. It was pretty obvious that this was serious, not a common teenage fling or something...and i got the message that our previous 'liberal' attitudes towards our friendship was no longer going to be the deal. Much to my dismay i might add.

A bare 2 weeks or so since she'd been going out with this guy, i got a text saying how much she wanted to come over and watch a movie and hang out. Now, this was pretty obvious booty calling. At least i thought it was.

She came over, we were lying on my bed watching the movie and as per usual things got a bit heated. Hands were all over each other. Then we stopped for a bit because a friend came into the room. During convo with said friend she grabbed my phone, started writing a text message. i look to see what she wrote: 'i'm ****ing wet'.

OK, sweet.....But when i went in to kiss her she pushed away and said that it was 'wrong'. Yet at the time my hand was squarely between her legs and she was moaning. Again i went in to kiss her. No deal.

Although confused, i was just thinking she was playing a stupid girly mind game due to her continued moaning and the text. I then placed her hand on my crotch to see whether she'd yield to my obviously fearsome seductorial skills. No deal. Massive no deal.

She bolted up from the bed muttering she had to go home. I asked her wtf was going on and she said she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. I then asked why she was moaning if she felt this way. She dodged the question and walked out.

...the ****?

*needless to say, did fap after she left

Damn girl has issues.....i hate it when that happens

 

[AsianWithAFro]

This ties in with my loss of virginity story.

I was 14 and had the gf over. She was virginal as well and a darling thing. She had decided this was going to be her big night. Notice I didn't say "our" big night because I had lied to her about having previous sexual experience in hopes that she would come around to seeing it as a simple casual act. Obviously this tactic worked. Mostly.

Just as I got the helmet through the floral gate she changed her freakin' mind. I yielded to her wishes to interruptus the coitus. What mad reasoning? I figured even though I couldn't tell my friends I had sealed the deal, I could tell them it was because my dick was too big and she couldn't take it. Good enough.

Being only 14 and not yet old enough to drive my brother had to drive us back to her house to drop her off. The gf and I sat in back during the ride and my balls starting hurting all fierce like. She noticed, started rubbing my crotch while whispering in my ear, "Sorry, I'll take care of it next time." Like that was going to help matters FFS?

When I got back home, I bolted immediately to my bedroom, jumped in the sack and began spanking like my life depended upon - which I do believe it did. The resulting powerful shot sounded out like the boom of a cannon resonating through the entire neighborhood. Dogs began barking, lights in houses were flipped on in rapid order and the tornado siren went off. To this day there's still a hole in the ceiling of my old bedroom at mom & dad's house.

So that was that. A couple of weeks later, she and I finally did go through with the act, but it was strange time in the interim. I was trapped in a sort of strange extra-dimensional quasi-vriginal limbo plane. Normally I would advise that if you are in doubt as to the status of your own virginity, then your'e a virgin. My situation was different. I had been in the sanctified chamber part way, but it wasn't the full on fair. I was simultaneously in and out of the sexual spacetime continuum. It's a wonder I didn't start turning invisible like Marty McFly or some shit like that.

Main point of the story is that either:

A My dick is too big for 14 year old virgin girls OR
B Maybe I accidentally put it in her ass.

Peace,

EPIC! Post of the Year fa shure

 

[AlphaBlue]

Friend of mine, went to a girls house one night about a year ago. this girl was a whore and he was there for one reason (to recieve some action).As he was just about to get some, the girls parents ended up coming home and he had to quickly leave the house without her parents finding him.

Turns out he ended up running back home to his house and ended up having a fap in the bushes on the way home.

 

[Football God]

Friend of mine, went to a girls house one night about a year ago. this girl was a whore and he was there for one reason (to recieve some action).As he was just about to get some, the girls parents ended up coming home and he had to quickly leave the house without her parents finding him.

Turns out he ended up running back home to his house and ended up having a fap in the bushes on the way home.

He now owns that territory and dogs won't go anywhere near it cos they're shit scared. good on the lad

 

[omit]

This ties in with my loss of virginity story.

I was 14 and had the gf over. She was virginal as well and a darling thing. She had decided this was going to be her big night. Notice I didn't say "our" big night because I had lied to her about having previous sexual experience in hopes that she would come around to seeing it as a simple casual act. Obviously this tactic worked. Mostly.

Just as I got the helmet through the floral gate she changed her freakin' mind. I yielded to her wishes to interruptus the coitus. What mad reasoning? I figured even though I couldn't tell my friends I had sealed the deal, I could tell them it was because my dick was too big and she couldn't take it. Good enough.

Being only 14 and not yet old enough to drive my brother had to drive us back to her house to drop her off. The gf and I sat in back during the ride and my balls starting hurting all fierce like. She noticed, started rubbing my crotch while whispering in my ear, "Sorry, I'll take care of it next time." Like that was going to help matters FFS?

When I got back home, I bolted immediately to my bedroom, jumped in the sack and began spanking like my life depended upon - which I do believe it did. The resulting powerful shot sounded out like the boom of a cannon resonating through the entire neighborhood. Dogs began barking, lights in houses were flipped on in rapid order and the tornado siren went off. To this day there's still a hole in the ceiling of my old bedroom at mom & dad's house.

So that was that. A couple of weeks later, she and I finally did go through with the act, but it was strange time in the interim. I was trapped in a sort of strange extra-dimensional quasi-vriginal limbo plane. Normally I would advise that if you are in doubt as to the status of your own virginity, then your'e a virgin. My situation was different. I had been in the sanctified chamber part way, but it wasn't the full on fair. I was simultaneously in and out of the sexual spacetime continuum. It's a wonder I didn't start turning invisible like Marty McFly or some shit like that.

Main point of the story is that either:

A My dick is too big for 14 year old virgin girls OR
B Maybe I accidentally put it in her ass.

Peace,

this post is so awesome it makes me want to dance

 

[ommot]

This ties in with my loss of virginity story.

I was 14 and had the gf over. She was virginal as well and a darling thing. She had decided this was going to be her big night. Notice I didn't say "our" big night because I had lied to her about having previous sexual experience in hopes that she would come around to seeing it as a simple casual act. Obviously this tactic worked. Mostly.

Just as I got the helmet through the floral gate she changed her freakin' mind. I yielded to her wishes to interruptus the coitus. What mad reasoning? I figured even though I couldn't tell my friends I had sealed the deal, I could tell them it was because my dick was too big and she couldn't take it. Good enough.

Being only 14 and not yet old enough to drive my brother had to drive us back to her house to drop her off. The gf and I sat in back during the ride and my balls starting hurting all fierce like. She noticed, started rubbing my crotch while whispering in my ear, "Sorry, I'll take care of it next time." Like that was going to help matters FFS?

When I got back home, I bolted immediately to my bedroom, jumped in the sack and began spanking like my life depended upon - which I do believe it did. The resulting powerful shot sounded out like the boom of a cannon resonating through the entire neighborhood. Dogs began barking, lights in houses were flipped on in rapid order and the tornado siren went off. To this day there's still a hole in the ceiling of my old bedroom at mom & dad's house.

So that was that. A couple of weeks later, she and I finally did go through with the act, but it was strange time in the interim. I was trapped in a sort of strange extra-dimensional quasi-vriginal limbo plane. Normally I would advise that if you are in doubt as to the status of your own virginity, then your'e a virgin. My situation was different. I had been in the sanctified chamber part way, but it wasn't the full on fair. I was simultaneously in and out of the sexual spacetime continuum. It's a wonder I didn't start turning invisible like Marty McFly or some shit like that.

Main point of the story is that either:

A My dick is too big for 14 year old virgin girls OR
B Maybe I accidentally put it in her ass.

Peace,

****ing good stuff Mooster, had me in stitches.

 

[HSSB]

this post is so awesome it makes me want to dance

this gif works perfectly to the music i am currently listening to

 

[omit]

the original clip that gif is from is ****ing awesome with sound

 

[Allbetsroff]

Who are you?

Someone who was here before you.

 

[King Elvis]

few years back was out with a few mates.......on the dance floor noticed a pretty hot chick looking at me......made eye contact a few times i knew i was in......... she approached one of my mates and told him that she thought i was hot and i should come and talk to her.

he relayed the message and i said to him tell her if she wants to talk to me she can come here trying to play it cool which is a rare occurrence for me.....low and behold a couple minutes later she walks up to me and says hello very sheepishly and told me her name was claire. we talked for a fair while and i dont remember a lot of what happened just that i was totally smashed that we knew a few of the same people by coincidence.

anyways i had no idea at how much i was swearing due to my intoxication she went up to a mate of mine and goes geez he is swearing a lot........ and i was done......didnt speak to me again

Kwame always has the best stories.

 

[dbcrow]

August 2009 is before February 2008? Damn SA edyukayshun sistum leeding me rong agen!

You spelt "damn" wrong

 

[Upgrayedd]

Just broke up with a long term girlfriend, we were drinking with a close bunch of friends, my best friend and his girlfriend, another mate and another friend who was the girl in question

Now i was 16, virgin even after going out with this girl for 6 montths, she said it wwas too early and wanted to wait, i thought yeah thats cool, she eventually got drunk, slept with some guy and broke up with me, i was crushed.

Cue drinking, we're not drinking heavily me and the other girl, i notice shes giving me some signals ect. i eventually corner her in her bedroom, we're laying on her bed and suddenly, the two guys come crashing in and causing the ultimate betrayal. Later i asked "What the ****" and they go "yeah we thought you guys were going to have sex and we thought it would be funny"

Needless to say, At school on monday i dacked one of the guys, boxers and all infront of a bunch of people, the weeks detention was worth it for the revenge.

 

[r dub 19]

Just broke up with a long term girlfriend, we were drinking with a close bunch of friends, my best friend and his girlfriend, another mate and another friend who was the girl in question

Now i was 16, virgin even after going out with this girl for 6 montths, she said it wwas too early and wanted to wait, i thought yeah thats cool, she eventually got drunk, slept with some guy and broke up with me, i was crushed.

Cue drinking, we're not drinking heavily me and the other girl, i notice shes giving me some signals ect. i eventually corner her in her bedroom, we're laying on her bed and suddenly, the two guys come crashing in and causing the ultimate betrayal. Later i asked "What the ****" and they go "yeah we thought you guys were going to have sex and we thought it would be funny"

Needless to say, At school on monday i dacked one of the guys, boxers and all infront of a bunch of people, the weeks detention was worth it for the revenge.

 

[Freakie]

I'm married with 2 kids, you kids have no idea about blueballs.

 

[r dub 19]

I'm married with 2 kids, you kids have no idea about blueballs.

How many times a month would you get teh sechs?

 

[Freakie]

How many times a month would you get teh sechs?

Lol, not answering.

 

[thurmanmunson]

I got dumped by a girl I was seeing for a few months (this was many years ago....), and not long after we split up, I saw her in at a bar with a bunch of her dopey friends.

I went up and talked to her (strictly trying to re-connect as plutonic friends) and offered to buy her a drink. She gladly accepted. I walked off towards the bar and looked back over my shoulder to make sure she wasn't watching me (she was back to being deeply engrossed in her dumbass conversations with her friends). I then bought the drink (vodka and something....cant remember), walked off toward's the men's toilets, then proceeded to beat off and drop a load right into the drink. I used the straw to mix in the jizz and swish it around.

Went back to her and her friends and gave her the drink. She gulped it down pretty quickly and it was the sweetest feeling a guy could have.

I wish I put some dog turds in her handbag too. Dumb c*nt....

 

[r dub 19]

I got dumped by a girl I was seeing for a few months (this was many years ago....), and not long after we split up, I saw her in at a bar with a bunch of her dopey friends.

I went up and talked to her (strictly trying to re-connect as plutonic friends) and offered to buy her a drink. She gladly accepted. I walked off towards the bar and looked back over my shoulder to make sure she wasn't watching me (she was back to being deeply engrossed in her dumbass conversations with her friends). I then bought the drink (vodka and something....cant remember), walked off toward's the men's toilets, then proceeded to beat off and drop a load right into the drink. I used the straw to mix in the jizz and swish it around.

Went back to her and her friends and gave her the drink. She gulped it down pretty quickly and it was the sweetest feeling a guy could have.

I wish I put some dog turds in my handbag too. Dumb c*nt....

Not sure if srs, but new favourite poster acquired.

 

[yeah_nah]

loling hard if true.

 

[Listed]

I got dumped by a girl I was seeing for a few months (this was many years ago....), and not long after we split up, I saw her in at a bar with a bunch of her dopey friends.

I went up and talked to her (strictly trying to re-connect as plutonic friends) and offered to buy her a drink. She gladly accepted. I walked off towards the bar and looked back over my shoulder to make sure she wasn't watching me (she was back to being deeply engrossed in her dumbass conversations with her friends). I then bought the drink (vodka and something....cant remember), walked off toward's the men's toilets, then proceeded to beat off and drop a load right into the drink. I used the straw to mix in the jizz and swish it around.

Went back to her and her friends and gave her the drink. She gulped it down pretty quickly and it was the sweetest feeling a guy could have.

I wish I put some dog turds in her handbag too. Dumb c*nt....

That's just about the most pathetic thing I've ever read.

 

[r dub 19]

That's just about the most pathetic thing I've ever read.

This is just about the most pathetic thing I've ever read.

 

[indieswan96]

I'll jump on my high horse and say shame on you thurman.

Still lol'd though.