The obscure XI's you've always wanted to make but never found the appropriate place thread

[FredLeDeux]

Anyone want to take as shot at what this one is?

Barry Richards
Mark Taylor
Dean Jones
Michael Clarke
Neil Harvey
Steve Smith
Alec Stewart (w/k)
Gary Gilmour
Tim May
Danny Morrison
James Anderson

Dunno, but Jones should be at 7 behind Stewart, not 3

 

[big_e]

Shit Australia vs Shit England (must have played in an Ashes test in the 2010s)

Australia

Marcus Harris
Cameron Bancroft
Ed Cowan
Marcus North
George Bailey
Mitchell Marsh
Tim Paine - captain
James Faulkner
Doug Bollinger
Xavier Doherty
Michael Beer

England

Michael Carberry
Jason Roy
Joe Denly
Gary Ballance
Sam Curran
Jos Buttler - captain
Craig Overton
Boyd Rankin
Scott Borthwick
Simon Kerrigan
Mason Crane

 

[eth-dog]

sh*t Australia vs sh*t England (must have played in an Ashes test in the 2010s)

Australia

Marcus Harris
Cameron Bancroft
Ed Cowan
Marcus North
George Bailey
Mitchell Marsh
Tim Paine - captain
James Faulkner
Doug Bollinger
Xavier Doherty
Michael Beer

England

Michael Carberry
Jason Roy
Joe Denly
Gary Ballance
Sam Curran
Jos Buttler - captain
Craig Overton
Boyd Rankin
Scott Borthwick
Simon Kerrigan
Mason Crane

Harsh on North, Paine, Bollinger, Curran, Buttler and Rankin (who's proudly Irish ya campaigner)

 

[big_e]

Harsh on North, Paine, Bollinger, Curran, Buttler and Rankin (who's proudly Irish ya campaigner)

Both keepers only named because I needed keepers. Although Paine's LBW review was probably enough in most people's eyes.

Rankin's 1/90-odd having been brought in for the fifth test in Sydney is classic Shit England, imo.

Doug's 2010/11 campaign of 1/130 at 4.5 per over made him one of the first picked.

 

[eth-dog]

Both keepers only named because I needed keepers. Although Paine's LBW review was probably enough in most people's eyes.

Rankin's 1/90-odd having been brought in for the fifth test in Sydney is classic sh*t England, imo.

Doug's 2010/11 campaign of 1/130 at 4.5 per over made him one of the first picked.

Surely Bairstow is ahead on the shit keeper radar, as is Wade!

Rankin is an Irish legend who was forced to play for the Poms (no logic allowed in this discussion) and let his intentions known by bowling trash

And Doug played one Ashes test but had an otherwise solid career in his 12 tests

 

[worbod]

Anyone want to take as shot at what this one is?

Barry Richards
Mark Taylor
Dean Jones
Michael Clarke
Neil Harvey
Steve Smith
Alec Stewart (w/k)
Gary Gilmour
Tim May
Danny Morrison
James Anderson

It's probably time to let us know what link these players share.

 

[Carbine Chaos]

That’s a horrible call on Bollinger there.

 

[The Passenger]

James Faulkner
Doug Bollinger
Xavier Doherty
Michael Beer

Quick bowling spots are pretty hard to fill.

Our three worst (Ashes 2010-now) quick bowling performers are all decent enough bowlers in their own right but put in shockers when playing Ashes - Bollinger (1/130), Bird (2/233) and Hilfenhaus (7/415). The weakest specialist quick bowler we've played in Ashes cricket over the last decade would have been Faulkner (although he was picked as a #5 bowler) but he did fine in his only test, even if there were a couple of arsey wickets in there, and he's got a very good FC record to his name.

In honour of our ****ed spinning stocks and the selection policies of 10 years ago, my team is going to go down the all spinning route with Mitch Marsh (batting 6) opening the bowling. Marcus North batting 7 and front line spinning (he did bowl 38 overs in the 2 Ashes tests he played in this period so I feel that's a valid selection), and 9-10-11 occupied by Ashton Agar, Xavier Doherty and Michael Beer.

Looking back, I know it's questionable whether Steven O'Keefe's dibbly dobbly tweaker's would have translated to test cricket - and aside from one amazing test they never really did... But how the **** you could justify picking some of these guys in front him when he had 150+ FC wickets @ mid-20's to his name is just something that I will never understand. He really deserved to at least be given a shot to see what would happen.

Bowling records | Test matches | Cricinfo Statsguru | ESPNcricinfo.com

stats.espncricinfo.com

 

[sherb]

Barry Richards (Keith)
Mark Taylor (Roger, Mick)
Dean Jones (Brian, Howard, John Paul)
Michael Clarke (Allan)
Neil Harvey (Alex, PJ)
Steve Smith (Robert)
Alec Stewart (w/k) (Rod)
Gary Gilmour (Dave)
Tim May (Brian)
Danny Morrison (Van)
James Anderson (Ian, Jon)

 

[Gough]

Barry Richards (Keith)
Mark Taylor (Roger, Mick)
Dean Jones (Brian, Howard, John Paul)
Michael Clarke (Allan)
Neil Harvey (Alex, PJ)
Steve Smith (Robert)
Alec Stewart (w/k) (Rod)
Gary Gilmour (Dave)
Tim May (Brian)
Danny Morrison (Van)
James Anderson (Ian, Jon)

F*** me Sherb, superbly obscure.

 

[big_e]

Barry Richards (Keith)
Mark Taylor (Roger, Mick)
Dean Jones (Brian, Howard, John Paul)
Michael Clarke (Allan)
Neil Harvey (Alex, PJ)
Steve Smith (Robert)
Alec Stewart (w/k) (Rod)
Gary Gilmour (Dave)
Tim May (Brian)
Danny Morrison (Van)
James Anderson (Ian, Jon)

 

[eth-dog]

Barry Richards (Keith)
Mark Taylor (Roger, Mick)
Dean Jones (Brian, Howard, John Paul)
Michael Clarke (Allan)
Neil Harvey (Alex, PJ)
Steve Smith (Robert)
Alec Stewart (w/k) (Rod)
Gary Gilmour (Dave)
Tim May (Brian)
Danny Morrison (Van)
James Anderson (Ian, Jon)

This. This is why I made the thread.

 

[big_e]

That’s a horrible call on Bollinger there.

1/130

And not many quicks to choose from.

 

[Pippen94]

Barry Richards (Keith)
Mark Taylor (Roger, Mick)
Dean Jones (Brian, Howard, John Paul)
Michael Clarke (Allan)
Neil Harvey (Alex, PJ)
Steve Smith (Robert)
Alec Stewart (w/k) (Rod)
Gary Gilmour (Dave)
Tim May (Brian)
Danny Morrison (Van)
James Anderson (Ian, Jon)

Boomers

 

[sherb]

F*** me Sherb, superbly obscure.

I couldn't be bothered adding in more names, I know there are more Stewarts for instance (Eric from 10cc, Dave from the Eurythmics), there are two Roger Taylors of course, there would be more Smiths, etc.........but you get the idea.

 

[PhatBoy]

Barry Richards (Keith)
Mark Taylor (Roger, Mick)
Dean Jones (Brian, Howard, John Paul)
Michael Clarke (Allan)
Neil Harvey (Alex, PJ)
Steve Smith (Robert)
Alec Stewart (w/k) (Rod)
Gary Gilmour (Dave)
Tim May (Brian)
Danny Morrison (Van)
James Anderson (Ian, Jon)

My retort - a team which would probably get belted both on the cricket field and in the musical credibility stakes

Sherwin Campbell (Wayne - he played the start of Stairway, that qualifies)
Chris Rogers (Tim)
Dean Elgar (Garth - hey, he played drums)
Jimmy Adams (Bryan)
Phil Simmons (Gene)
Carlos Brathwaite (Darryl)
Dave Richardson w/k (JP 'Big Bopper')
Shane Warne(s) (Jennifer)
Shafiul Islam (Yusuf)
Shayne O'Connor (Sinead)
Glenn McGrath (Mark)

 

[PhatBoy]

I couldn't be bothered adding in more names, I know there are more Stewarts for instance (Eric from 10cc, Dave from the Eurythmics), there are two Roger Taylors of course, there would be more Smiths, etc.........but you get the idea.

James Taylor stiff

 

[eth-dog]

James Taylor stiff

Wasn't there an English cricketer named James Taylor? Played a few ODI's and tests?

 

[sherb]

James Taylor stiff

Check the nationality of all the musos I listed.......

 

[PhatBoy]

Check the nationality of all the musos I listed.......

Ahhhhh. I was blinkered.

 

[PhatBoy]

Geez that's impressive, even down to the only Irishman being from Northern Ireland

 

[PhatBoy]

Wasn't there an English cricketer named James Taylor? Played a few ODI's and tests?

Yeah he made the news a few days ago blowing up about Kevin Pietersen's treatment of him

 

[eth-dog]

Yeah he made the news a few days ago blowing up about Kevin Pietersen's treatment of him

FC average of 46 is pretty handy

 

[PhatBoy]

FC average of 46 is pretty handy

I think he had to retire due to a heart issue?

 

[FredLeDeux]

My retort - a team which would probably get belted both on the cricket field and in the musical credibility stakes

Sherwin Campbell (Wayne - he played the start of Stairway, that qualifies)
Chris Rogers (Tim)
Dean Elgar (Garth - hey, he played drums)
Jimmy Adams (Bryan)
Phil Simmons (Gene)
Carlos Brathwaite (Darryl)
Dave Richardson w/k (JP 'Big Bopper')
Shane Warne(s) (Jennifer)
Shafiul Islam (Yusuf)
Shayne O'Connor (Sinead)
Glenn McGrath (Mark)

You got me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbNV-