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Mega Thread The Random Thoughts Thread Part 1

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Hey Don Juan is back!

How was the break?

Not just yet big fella. But soon.

Break has been absolutely brilliant. I look forward to being scared shitless of you again in Sydney ;)
 
I had a dream last night that Rebecca Morse was having sex with the weather man in a huge building opposite the MCG while she was supposed to be covering our game with Collingwood. In the game, Collingwood wore the GWS strip. Travis Boak was unstoppable, kicking 2.7 from the midfield in the first quarter. The 7 points were clear goals, but Collingwood had Jerry Stiller goal umpiring at our end, who was being a real dick about it and giving even the clearest goals as points. We were only out to an 81- 30 lead, having something like 40 more scoring shots than Collingwood. Increasingly frustrated, Jay Schulz picked up Jerry Stiller and threw him out of the stadium and he shattered like glass.

What does this mean?
 

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I had a dream last night that Rebecca Morse was having sex with the weather man in a huge building opposite the MCG while she was supposed to be covering our game with Collingwood. In the game, Collingwood wore the GWS strip. Travis Boak was unstoppable, kicking 2.7 from the midfield in the first quarter. The 7 points were clear goals, but Collingwood had Jerry Stiller goal umpiring at our end, who was being a real dick about it and giving even the clearest goals as points. We were only out to an 81- 30 lead, having something like 40 more scoring shots than Collingwood. Increasingly frustrated, Jay Schulz picked up Jerry Stiller and threw him out of the stadium and he shattered like glass.

What does this mean?
Don't eat cheese before you go to bed?
 
I had a dream last night I won the Monaco GP, went back to the hotel and had a foursome with three supermodels.

Was a good dream.
 
I had a dream last night I won the Monaco GP, went back to the hotel and had a foursome with three supermodels.

Was a good dream.

Don't eat cheese or watch pr0n before bed kids.
 
I had a dream last night I won the Monaco GP, went back to the hotel and had a foursome with three supermodels.

Was a good dream.

Times must be tough for Bernie Inc. Usually you get six supermodels.
 

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The couple who live behind me where having a fight today when i got home from work. She was complaining about how he was spending too much money Viagra. To which he replied, "I NEED IT TO F*** YOU YOU FAT UGLY B***"

I lol'd

Honesty is best in a relationship.
 
I used to love dried apricots still they started giving me the farts. Can't eat them anymore now.

I don't see how your farting can be a problem for you?

My brother in laws wife banned him from eating onions for the same reason and I could never understand why he allowed such a gross miscarriage of justice to occur in his own life.

Fart freely my flatulent friend.
 

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lol, just got a call from Trengove to get mrs doctor feel signed up.

Did you offer her as a human sacrifice to the great man?

Or at least for sexual favours.

I would have.

I really would.

Have offered your girl up to Jacko.

I would have.
 
Did you offer her as a human sacrifice to the great man?

Or at least for sexual favours.

I would have.

I really would.

Have offered your girl up to Jacko.

I would have.

He consented to a three way.

But seriously, I got my other half to call back on the number he left the voice mail on.

He picks up he goes "Hello?"

My other half is like "...um, just calling back in regards to signing up to a membership."

He goes "Oh....OH!...Um.....let me get the membership girl for you!"
 
I used to love dried apricots still they started giving me the farts. Can't eat them anymore now.

When I was about 12 I found a pack of them in the cupboard, not realising that eating one is basically the same as eating an actual apricot, I polished off the whole pack.

I didn't leave the toilet for 2 days and it took another week before my **** stopped looking like a piss.
 
He consented to a three way.

But seriously, I got my other half to call back on the number he left the voice mail on.

He picks up he goes "Hello?"

My other half is like "...um, just calling back in regards to signing up to a membership."

He goes "Oh....OH!...Um.....let me get the membership girl for you!"

I can read between the lines there...

They'll be getting it on behind your back in no time.
 
I used to love dried apricots still they started giving me the farts. Can't eat them anymore now.
Coincidentally, as of this morning, apricot slice gives me the shits.

Must be the peptides.
 
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