Entertainment & Music The Simpsons Part 3

[Hank Scorpion]

Homer: At first, I thought prohibition was a good thing. People were drinking more, and having a lot more fun. But without beer, prohibition doesn't work.

 

[raven echo]

 

[Kram]

 

[Cleavy]

 

[Kram]

When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie. Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie, Police Academy.

 

[Bosun]

Springfield Shopper Tour Guide: Welcome to the Springfield Shopper, established in 1883. The newspaper was founded by Johnny Newspaperseed, a 14-year-old boy who roamed America founding newspapers.

Homer: Well if he's so smart, how come he's dead?

 

[Kram]

Attention workers, we have completed our evaluation of the plant. We regret to announce the following lay-offs, which I will read in alphabetical order:

Simpson, Homer. That is all.

 

[Cleavy]

 

[Demonalke]

Homer: Hello Dondelinger.
Principal Dondelinger: Simpson, is that a plunger stuck on your head?

Homer: Doh!

 

[Kram]

And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain.

 

[Kram]

Well... be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use poptarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon...

 

[Kram]

I’ve got to find a replacement who won’t outshine me. Perhaps if I search the employee evaluations for the word ‘incompetent’... 714 names?!

Better be more specific... ‘lazy’, ‘clumsy’, ‘dimwitted’, ‘monstrously ugly’... aw nuts to this, I’ll just go get Homer Simpson.

 

[PP34]

 

[RippaRiley43]

Marge: Homer, I've been thinking... if the baby's a boy, what do you think of the name Larry?
Homer: Marge, we can't do that! All the kids'll call him Larry Fairy!
Marge: Well, how about Louie?
Homer: They'll call him Screwy Louie!
Marge: Bob?
Homer: Slob.
Marge: Luke?
Homer: Puke.
Marge: Marcus?
Homer: Mucus.
Marge: What about Bart?
Homer: Let's see.. Bart, Cart, Dart, Eart... Nope, can't see any problem with that!

 

[Confuscius]

 

[Kram]

Oh, nothing other than drive me to distraction with his incompetent boobery. Terrible at everything! A complete moron... but I’m not really free to talk right now.

 

[Demonalke]

 

[Kram]

Donuts? I told you, I don’t like ethnic food!

 

[Kram]

Alright. Your current location?

Oh, uh.. I’m on a road, looks to be asphalt. Aw, jeez, trees, shrubs.. I’m directly under the Earth’s Sun.... now.

 

[Kram]

“All you can eat, ha!”
“Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film ‘The Neverending Story’.”
“So, do you think I have a case?”
“Homer, I don’t use the word hero very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history.”

 

[Kram]

Hello, work? This is Homer Simpson, I won’t be coming in tomorrow. Religious holiday, the, uh, feast of... 'maximum occupancy'.

 

[Big Sauce 21]

 

[Silvagnis]

Mrs Glick: Here, have some ribbon candy. Boys love candy.
Bart: No, thanks.
Mrs Glick: Boys love candy!
Bart: I'd rather get to work.
Mrs Glick: We'll start with yard work. Then you can have a barley pop. I want you to clear out all the weeds. You do know which ones are weeds?
Bart: All of them?
Mrs Glick: Good boy. Now be careful with these. I'll be inside, watching my stories.

"Jack, please. I'm married."
"That must be what's turning me on."
"Stop it. Some more."

Mrs Glick: Filthy, but genuinely arousing.

 

[Kram]

How about a courier? They travel for free too.

No, that's a terrier. They're dogs.

 

[Big Sauce 21]