Entertainment & Music The Simpsons Part 3

[Kram]

“I hate these worker of the week award ceremonies.”
“Who even cares anymore? Everyone that works here has already got one.”
“Except for...”
“Hello! Well, today’s the day for Homer J. I know I’m gonna win this time.”
“Yeah, how come?”
“Union rule twenty-six: every employee must win worker of the week at least once, regardless of gross incompetence, obesity or rank odor.”

 

[Kram]

Err... sometimes to keep from hurting someone's feelings, you have to say things that aren't exactly...

Lies make baby Jesus cry.

 

[Bosun]

Bar Patron: Sounds like she's hitting a baby with a cat.
Lisa: You have to listen to the notes she's not playing.
Bar Patron: I can do that at home.

 

[Temploar]

My workplace in a nutshell.

 

[Big Sauce 21]

 

[Unknown Caller]

Lisa: But he was the only person that had the same love for music that
I do.
[Maggie gives Lisa a pacifier]
Thank you. Oh, Dad, why did he have to die?
Homer: Well, it's like the time that your cat Snowball got run over.
Lisa: Uh huh.
Homer: Remember, honey?
Lisa: Yeah.
Homer: What I'm saying is, all we have to do is go down to the pound and
get a new jazzman.
Lisa: [wailing] Oh, Dad! [weeps]
Homer: Oh, I blew it again.

 

[brahj]

 

[Danger in Texas]

We all know what you think, Smithers...

 

[deedog2]

'Run free little vermin! The city is yours!'

 

[GOAUS!]

We all know what you think, Smithers...

 

[Captain Awkward]

Lou: I went to the McDonald's in Shelbyville on Friday night.
Wiggum: The Mc what?
Lou: The McDonald's restaurant. I never heard of it either but they have over 2,000 locations in this state alone.
Eddie: Must've sprung up over night.
Lou: But you know the funniest thing though, it's the little differences.
Wiggum: Example.
Lou: Well, at a McDonald's you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese right, but they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.
Wiggum: Get out. What do they call it?
Lou: A Quarter Pounder with cheese.
Wiggum: Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well, I can picture the cheese but ah... Do they have Krusty's Partially Gelatinated, Non-Dairy, Gum-Based Beverages?
Lou: Mmhmm they call them "shakes."
Eddie: Hm "Shakes." You don't know what you're gettin'.

 

[deedog2]

Homer: [voice on cassette, singing]
I work hard for the money
So hard for the money
Oh, I something, something money,
Come on give me lots of honey

Burns: Well, there's an employee, Smithers. A smile on his lips
and a song in his heart. Promote him.

 

[Cruyff14]

Marge: You know your father wanted to be a policeman for a little while but they said he was too heavy.
Homer: No. The Army said I was too heavy. The police said I was too dumb.

 

[Big Sauce 21]

My God you're greasy.

 

[Big Sauce 21]

Your son was trespassing on my property and destroyed a very valuable stone gargoyle and... are you wearing a grocery bag?

I have misplaced my pants.

 

[Big Sauce 21]

'Now, this technology is new to me, but... I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly. His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees, he's literally stewing in his own juices.'

 

[Marlowe]

TV: You need the winners, and I know them. So call me now! $5 for the first minute, $2 for each additional minute!
Homer: [dials the number]
Voice: You... have reached... the Coach's... Hot-...
Homer: Line.
Voice: Line.
Homer: Yeah, lay it on me, Coach.
Voice: In the game... of... Mi... am... i...
Homer: Mm hm.
Voice: Versus Cin...
Homer: Cincinnati.
Voice: cin...
Homer: Cincinnati.
Voice: nat...
Homer: Cincinnati.
Voice: i...
Homer: Come on, come on, don't you realize this is costing me money!
Voice: we must consider many things. The wind
Homer: D'oh, not the wind!
Voice: is blowing out of the west at five...
Homer: Miles per hour
Voice: ...knots.

 

[deedog2]

Smooth Jimmy Apollo:``But if you're one of those compulsive types who just has to bet, well, I don't know... um... Denver.'' Homer celebrates. ``Woo hoo!

Back to `Inside Football Today', where New England has defeated Denver
by a score of 55 to 10.

Smooth Jimmy Apollo: [explaining his poor prediction]
Well, folks, when you're right 52% of the time, you're wrong 48%
of the time.
Homer: Why didn't you say that before!!

 

[Marlowe]

Homer: Buffalo is going to win. Lisa hates me. [sobs]
Man: Whatcha got riding on this game?
Homer: My daughter.
Man: [whistles] What a gambler!

 

[Gibbsy]

TV: You need the winners, and I know them. So call me now! $5 for the first minute, $2 for each additional minute!
Homer: [dials the number]
Voice: You... have reached... the Coach's... Hot-...
Homer: Line.
Voice: Line.
Homer: Yeah, lay it on me, Coach.
Voice: In the game... of... Mi... am... i...
Homer: Mm hm.
Voice: Versus Cin...
Homer: Cincinnati.
Voice: cin...
Homer: Cincinnati.
Voice: nat...
Homer: Cincinnati.
Voice: i...
Homer: Come on, come on, don't you realize this is costing me money!
Voice: we must consider many things. The wind
Homer: D'oh, not the wind!
Voice: is blowing out of the west at five...
Homer: Miles per hour
Voice: ...knots.

This is an absolutely hilarious scene, perfectly written and extremely underrated.

 

[pieman123]

Oh my god he’s like some kind of non… giving up… school guy!

 

[Cruyff14]

Spoiler:

http://www.news.com.au/entertainmen...racter-just-died/story-e6frfmyi-1227073369614

What a joke.

 

[The Passenger]

Spoiler:

http://www.news.com.au/entertainmen...racter-just-died/story-e6frfmyi-1227073369614

What a joke.

"What important Simpson's characters have died in the past year?"

"If you said Bleeding Gums Murphy and doctor Marvin Monroe you are wrong, they were never popular"

 

[NarniMagic]

Did anyone else check out the Simpsons/Family Guy crossover? If it's already being discussed in another thread let me know. Really enjoyed it

 

[Super Hans]

'A dog like this you'd have to feed every day'.