Toast The World According to Gimp - am I a ******* great or what re.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

This is a tribute thread to BringouttheGimp who tragically left us on February 2023 (24.02.2023). It is a best of Gimp thread, but also contains more serious posts which add insight into Gimp's background and life. The Gimp was a private person, an enigma who invented an online persona containing a combination of some true to life facts and opinions and lots of obfuscating detail. In the end, selecting fact from fiction is a difficult task, and probably not one in which the Gimp would want us to engage. Just enjoy him as I have as a larger than life character sent specifically, it seemed, to entertain both us and himself.

'Who's up for compiling a 1000 best Gimp moments.. quotes.. wisdom nuggets.. predictions.. or whatever and that re.. thread.

If anyone wants to take the project on.. shouldn't be all that hard.. and I approve of it and re.. you can shout me dinner at the Veu De Monde.. and I get seen with you in public.

Am I a *en great or what re. *en forget about it mate

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Gimp the Writer

I'm thinking of writing a book re.. 'The Gimp's daily wisdom nuggets re'. 365 pages of gold re.

Handwritten with *en scribbles and cross outs and s**t like so you know it's coming from the heart.. the souuulll man.. no google 1 2 3.. heart and soul s**t reeee.. I reckon I'd create a masterpiece re.. in 5 20 100 yrs time.. a timeless *en classic re.. Aristotle.. eat your heart out re.

Are there any writer's groups in Melbourne.. I'm thinking of joining.

They wouldn't know what hit em mate..

Am I a en great or what re.. am I a en great or what re. I just find a lot of writing.. bullshit.. taught to write and read a certain way.. it's all passive learning. Taught to go back and edit it. Not enough punk writers. Blurt it out.. and ***** be done with it. More Cobains.. less Bon Jovi's.

Even when I know something might come across as silly.. or useless.. or whatever re.. which is quite rare.. I rarely ever go back and delete my post. Unless I've ed up the to and toos and there's and theirs and en they're and ** this and that.. it was what I was feeling at the time.. just letting the world know.. we are not perfect.. we don't have to be.. it's ok. It's what we felt at the time.. whether it's something silly or whatever re.. you're capturing the emotion.. personality.. strength.. vulnerability..

Bottled in a post mate.. that's it mate.

Can't you use the English language by mixing genres and s**t like that.. and they all come out.. the Gimp?

Bringing country music in.. bringing byzantinian music in.. bringing gospel music in.. plenty of space and beautiful geography to it.. a tremendously pure and looseness in using the language.. a sudden discovery of oneself of your powers and abilities and what you can do with em and that re.. sort of a thing and that re? Why does one have to strike the bass string when you can pluck it as well.. combining mythology with reality.. all that sort of s**t.. isnt that what the English language should be and that or am I just ahead of my time?

Maybe I'm just the new Elvis of the English language I reckon and that re?

Maybe I am a great.

Am I a great re?

My posts should come with a glossary of terms so you can better understand the Gimp mate.. ok.. I'll give you one..

'Am I a great?' - La Trobe Uni deli humour.. cool phrase that doesn't mean anything.. eg win a hand in poker.. 'am I a great re?'.. lose a hand in poker.. 'am I a great re?'.

Am I a great re?

Ti les re.. means.. 'what are you talking about'.. basically.. 'ain't happening'.

The reason why my work flows like fine wine and that re.. for the most part.. I don't proof read my work.. I don't force the issue.. I don't quote vlakies from the net.. I don't put things out there to elicit a response.. I don't make outlandish statements.. etc etc etc..

I'm just me re.. a f great re.

I love leaving typos.. I reckon they're funny.

Makes me look like a cross between a drunk and a genius.

I love that s**t man.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Gimp the student

I've got an Arts degree from La Trobe.. 99.99% of the time playing manilla in the deli playing indoor and picking up re.. .01% in lectures and tutes re.. I tried the whole lecture and tute s**t.. but as soon as I heard vlakies about gemeinschaft and gessellschafts and s**t like that.. I was like * off re.. stopped going to lectures and tutes and that after my first coupla hrs at uni..

I was asked to study Law by one of the profs during my 2nd yr at La Trobe studying Arts.. told the lecturer.. * off man.. im here to drop 20 and 50c pieces in the deli playing manila with my Greek mates.. degree comes a distant I dunno 10th or whatever re.. indoor soccer.. partying 4 or 5 nights a week took precedence.. and I ain't giving up my singing voice and bouzouki for talking s**t in a courtroom. * that mate. A decision I don't regret one bit mate.

Can one understand science more than a prof say.. without having studied it themselves.. when you're in full beast mode at the gym.. and you're looking mint without putting in much of an effort to read up on s**t.. is science like a subconscious thingimagigi or whatever you call it.. you just get.. and that re?

It's an interesting question I ask my mates Spiro and that re.. it's not all get the blow dryer out.. smelling mint.. wearing a sick pair of shoes and all that re.. and they're like.. shut up re.. * off man.. and I'm like I'm ******* serious man.. and they're like.. shut up re.. and I'm like.. * man whatever.. pick me up at 8.. what are you wearing and that re..

(Game preview volunteers?) Kala re.. if you want a thesaurus job.. I'm your man.. copy and paste the match day preview from the afl website.. then thesaurus it re.. reminds me of my time at uni.. copying slabs of s**t from journals and doing the same s**t re.. results.. more time in the deli playing manila mate.. good times man.. good times.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

The Gimp Family

A lot of Greeks migrated to Collingwood and Clifton Hill. My folks lived in Collingwood.

My passion is about my family.. both my folks grew up in Clifton Hill and Collingwood. Myrtle and Gold st. My grandparents used to walk an hr to get into work every morning. Work their fingers to the bone in a factory. There only release was heading down to Vic Park every 2nd Sat. That's where my passion lies.. my passion lies with the club and what it represents to my family.. not Buckley.

Oh really.. if you can find me an occupation where your body or mind doesn't take a hit.. then your post is valid..

My mom was a hairdresser and is now suffering from severe athrtitis in her knees and back.. my dad was a welder and is now suffering with bad lungs eye sight and hearing directly attributable to his occupation.

So I repeat.. if you can find me any occupation where your body or mind doesn't take a hit.. I'm all ears mate..

Your argument reminds me of the silly uni chats I used to have.. when I had no clue about life and was trying to find my feet.

I'm indebted to my dad for living well re.. spiritual man involved in the Greek Orthodox Church for 50 yrs..

He'd communicate with his eyes.. when I did vlakies and that re.. I stepped it up a notch and communicate with my eyes right back at him and that re.. whenever I wanted a Turkish coffee I would just stare at him.. until we'd burst out laughing and that re.. he had no choice but to get up and make me one.. he would say well done son.. that's how it's done.. you're on your way. Proud of ya.

Moral of the story.. well you figure it out re.. I'm not even sure myself.. hahaha.

Guess it's why I'm great at picking the good from the s**t.

My ol' man marked with the blue dot.. during the Anzac Day parade yrs back.. respect from the Greek-Aus community.

Sitting with my dad last night who's in hospital. Talking about the game. His knowledge on the game is really quite limited doesn't really analyse it like we do. He comes up with something that just made me get really quite emotional.. one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard.

He rubbed his 2 fingers together and said.. 'Pendlebury and De Goey are very close'. I looked at him and said.. 'How on earth did you come up with that?'. His reply 'I just know.'

Just like Pendlebury is to De Goey.. my dad is to me. A brilliant mentor and father figure.

I love you dad.

(Gimp’s dad 2018) From pls to als MND.

He was told he'd never walk again.. but he's now walking with a frame and walked up and down a few steps the other day. Which is just unbelievable. He's being fed through a peg and has lost hes lost a lot of his voice. Just happy to get him back home with mum.. lots of assistance with a care plan.. he's happy enough.. does his word search puzzles.. watches his Greek channel.. loves his footy.

4mths in hospital.. a mth or so in the intensive care respiratory ward clearing out his lungs.

Blessed he's still with us.

He's not in any pain which is good.. and he lives for good company. The grandkids.. my sister's and I.. his brothers.. mum.

He never did give up.. we never gave up on him either.

I offloaded a gorilla on Stephenson at the start of the yr at 26 to 1. Should take home $26,000 tonight re.

It's f great.. cause I've been trying to get my folks to agree to selling dad's old Monaro for yrs now.. they had no idea it was valued at about $250,000. I told em ade sell it re you'll get a gorilla or 2 for it and I'll go and get you a car to get you from a to b no worries.

So I managed to auction dad's old Monaro for a lil over $250,000.. told em I sold it for $2000.. and with the winnings tonight I might buy em half a decent car.. and pocket the $250,000 re.

That's how nice a guy I am re.

F great re.

I called my sister's and my parents to see how they're doing.. and not a word was said.. cause with friends and family.. you dont have to talk.. you just know.

Found this photo of my cousin back in the day with his first pies jumper and beanie dipping his finger in tsipouro/grapa re.. that was our family tradition re

My ol' lady used to make me mortadella sandwiches for school.. hated em and that re.. I used to throw em in amongst the fauna and flora at school.. this s**t went on for about a yr or whatever re.. so I decided to become an expert at marbles and flicks and that re.. I'd play everyone for their lunch.. they'd play me for my marbles and footy cards and that re.. I'd win 95% of the time I reckon and that re.. so I got a free lunch and my footy card deck never took a big hit and that re..

I fessed up to mum that I used to turf the mortadella sandwiches in the bushes and that re.. cause I got sick of winning re.. felt guilty and that re.. and she was like.. why didn't you tell me you hated mortadella sandwiches I'd have made you ham or salami sandwiches instead. And I said.. I love you mum.

Am I a great or what re?

My Uncle Arthur went to Collingwood Tech. No one would go near him.. kickboxing champ.. couldnt play for s**t but always got selected for the football side to throw a few.

When my parents got married they received gifts where some of their gypsy relos and that re would peal the labels off jam jars and s**t like that.. mum still brings it up today.. she still remembers who they were by name decades later.

She always ends the conversation she's repeated to me hundreds of times over the years by saying.. '* I hate them.. do they think I'm stupid enough not to pick up on it.. I'm not dumb John.. I'm not Militsa.'
not Militsa.'

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Collingwood Football Club

Story behind why I’m a Pies Supporter

My grandfather migrated from Greece in 1952 and settled here in Clifton Hill in 1952. A neighbour of his invited him to a game at Victoria Park. And he was immediately hooked. When I was a kid he used to take me to the games to watch the reserves and seniors. One thing I’ll never forget was the smell of the dirt surrounding Victoria Park and the sunburn I’d get from spending 5 hours out there in the outer. The atmosphere was like a brotherhood. The comments. People fighting over sherins flying out the back of the ground. The luke warm pies. The old score board.

My greatest memory was travelling by train home feeling like I was flying and that would remain with me for the rest of the day. It was somewhat of a spiritual experience. Win/loss there’s something magical about being a Collingwood supporter.

The core of Collingwood hasn't changed re.. we were born out of working class and that re.. my grandparents arrived in Australia and settled in Collingwood and Clifton Hill.. walked hrs to get to and from work.. my parents grew up there.. so I understand all of that.. players.. what.. back then were zoned to the club or whatever.. that's basically how the club was born and that re.. not a f historian but yeah.. but I'm f thereabouts I reckon and that re..

Now what has happened over the yrs is that folk who lived in Collingwood had sons and daughters and their daughters and sons had sons and daughters and their daughters had sons and daughters.. a s**t load moved out of Collingwood seeking a better life.. conditions.. education.. prosperity.. all that sort of s**t. So we spread not only all over Vic but all over Oz and abroad and that re..

In the case of me.. I've lived a good part of my life overseas.. I'm educated.. worked hard.. all that sort of s**t.. now why is it so wrong to bring back influences from overseas.. partying on the blocks in Ibiza and f Mykonos in my g bangers and s**t like that.. the French Riviera and Monaco.. Rome and f Tuscany.. the f list goes on and on and on.. the cuisines and fashion and s**t.. NY and f Paris.. I understand my roots lie in Collingwood.. you only need to look deep into my eyes to understand all of that.. I will never ever forget what my family has done for me in Collingwood.. but my roots lie back in Europe as well re.. so why can't I bring back those influences back to Collingwood.. make it romantic and full of color.. and f sexy.. and loud.. with a bit of that sexy samba beat.. and make the aisles dance the Paso Doble mate.. all of the good s**t I have been fortunate enough to experience in my life.. and all that re.. why not bring it back to Collingwood..

It's both a celebration of who we are at the core.. with added pastitsio.. Emilio with his cute Collingwood vest strutting his stuff.. and feragamos and rossis.. and colorful designer socks.. and Jimmy Barnes and Mitropanos.. and brut33 and la nuit de l'homme.. all the good s**t that makes us what we are today.

Collingwood to me is standing at the top of the hill in Mt Martha pulling f Arnold poses.. and having everyone yell out.. I'm Shirley Valentine and that re.. wearing a pair of colorful socks and sipping on Manhattans at a bar.. cooking and eating fine cuisine.. it's f Timberlake bringing f sexy back mate.. but never forgetting the hard work it took to get us re.. and that's all f Collingwood right there..

Collongwood is the whole f world mate.. shinning shimmering and f splendid re..

Just applied for Luke's job.

If I don't get it I'll sit in Whittlesea's one and only coffee shop and listen to lil old ladies talk s**t about how the joint has become commercialized when in fact there's absolutely sweet bugger all to do.. I'll sit there.. give them the impression I'm not listening.. when all I wanna do is plough my head through a brick wall.

I have f had it up to my eyeballs with this s**t man.. that's it for me man.

When I applied for Luke's job had to answer 'What does Collingwood mean to you?'

I simply replied with just listen to Lionel Ritchie's track.. 'You are the sun you are the rain'. Enough said mate.

Had to answer another question.. 'How does the Collingwood FC rank in your life re?'

1. Family
2. Collingwood FC
3. Tinder
4. My Mercedes which was once mass appealing I turned into a carnival car by lowering it.. adding glowing silver rims and a $10,000 system with subwoofers that go off re.. a 1 mtr high spoiler.. replacing perfect parts for fluro ones like diffs and s**t re.. so now it only appeals to the Broady region..
5. Friends

I reckon I'm in re.

(Prelim 2018 Coll v Rich) I am seriously struggling to post.. just wanna play.. more of a nice teary emotional feeling right now.. thinking of my grandparents and how they worked so ******* hard. My grandmother would walk from Wellington st alll the way to Clifton Hill.. drop my mum off in Fitzroy.. then walk all the way back to Victoria Parade for work.

Every fist pump tonight is for you.

Every Adams hard hit.. every De Goey big time play.. every Stephenson freak goal.. that's for you man.

That's the spirit of Collingwood right there.

Gone but not forgotten.

That's why I love this club with all my heart.

Now let's go after em.

Go Pies!

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

All things Greek

My parents were born in Macedonia. Always referred to themselves as Greek. I get asked all the time.. what's your ethnicity and s**t you look exotic and that re.. I go.. Greek.. then there's always a follow up question.. f you're hot.. so what part of Greece.. I say Macedonia.. they then go.. so you're Macedonian.. I go no..

Generally speaking.. I just leave at that.. I don't expect folk to understand the history of Greece. I don't even consider it ignorant if they don't. Why should they give a f really.

Macedonia is not a country.. it's in Northern Greece.

Vardaska changed its name.. to Fyrom.. to Northern Macedonia.. no territory was gained into Macedonia. Borders have remained the same re.

So when you're referring to Peter Daicos as the 'Macedonian Marvel'.. you're actually referring to him as a Greek. I suppose it's technically ok to call him the 'Macedonian Marvel' just like it's ok to call Ted Whitten a great Victorian.

Folk often ask me via pm and that re.. how is it that you get it right all the bloody time mate.. you're a genius and that re and all that sort of a thing and that re..

Well.. I never forget my roots re.. blessed to have come from Ouranoupoli.. blessed by Mount Athos.. and blessed to have danced the blocks at Mykonos. *en forget about it mate.

I have given you enough wisdom nuggets today that'll last yas until our new covid normal Christmas.. am I a great or what re.

Most of the time I've got no idea what I'm on about either.. but the Greek in me.. tells me I'm right every time.

But when you go to Melissa and other Greek cafes you've gotta be quick to respond to bona fide chaperones that are quick to say s**t like.. hey that's my cousin re.. you better be in it for a long term relationship and not a one night stand.. best way to respond to that s**t re is too just say.. yeah no worries re.

There is a rookie list for Born Again Christians.. been approached by em at Preston Market car park re.. I just gave em the devil sign.. once you graduate from Preston Market leaflet distribution.. you move up the ranks and that.. not sure how it works.. I'm Greek Orthodox re.

Tell me Gimp, were you spoiled as a child? I ask because all the Greek, Yugoslav and Maltese boys I taught nearly always seemed to be free to live whatever lives they wished whereas the girls were very much restricted in their movements by protective parents. Did you have sisters and brothers? What was your experience as a teenage boy

Pretty much sums it up and that re.. oh.. and my parents wouldn't let me play AFL cause they thought it was too rough a sport.. it was soccer and zen do kai.. got my 4th dan in zen do kai.. and was actually a gifted soccer player.. was touted as the next big thing.. then I discovered the nightclub scene at 16 yrs of age.. still managed to play at a good level for a long time.. worked hard on the track to look good at the clubs and play a freewheeling style of game shitfaced drunk come matchday.

I've been inside the cave where St John wrote the Apocalypse.. the last chapter of the new testament. Patmos. Meteora was something else though. Saved my mum's life when she was a kid. Too long a story.

A lot of the old school tsobani/shepards in Greece were able to predict the future just by looking at a sheeps legs..

The Greeks were always outnumbered in battle.. but they were sneaky as f and full of surprises.

There's a scene from '300' where the Persian army arrived in their ships on the coast of Greece. The weather was horrendous re.. so a lot of their ships were getting smashed on the cliffs and s**t re.. the Spartan army were sitting on top of the cliff in raptures re.. celebrating.. going nuts as the Persians were being embraced by the loving arms of Greece herself.. the only Spartan to keep his cool.. was Leonidas.. king of Sparta.

Our king Pendles re.

Ahooooo ahooooo ahooooo.

You know you're Greek when 'malaka' replaces people's first name. Ela re malaka

Careful approaching Greek girls mate.. there's security camera's everywhere..

Never bend over in front of a Greek.. you'll cop it good and proper re..

To understand me.. you need to understand the difference between Stelios Kazantzidis and Guy Sebastian re.

Stelios sang from the heart and soul.. at the bars and clubs all his life.. in front of his friends and family and passes by.. Guy Sebastian sold his soul for the $ re.. seeking fame.. fortune and glory that type of s*t re.. twisting and turning and pouting his lips and all that sort of ****** s**t man on stage and that re.. singing about malakies in front of thousands of his adoring fans..

I thought life was about doing the Guy thing man.. when in reality.. it's always been about Stelios.

Look.. I suppose doing the malakia Guy thing for a while is not entirely a *en bad thing and that re sort of a thing.. build a bit of wealth.. and then go and live your life like Stelios re.

A true great re.

Just organized with cfc2010 and jahanas to go to the big fat Greek day in the affluent suburb of Preston on Sunday.. Greek food music smashing plates and that re to celebrate the win and that re.

I'd invite you ottoman but you're not even across the nulibor re or however you spell that s**t re.. hahahahaha.. enjoy your mother in laws fig tree and that re.. hahahaha..

Like there was this famous monastery in Crete right.. where there's a 100 steps leading up to it and that re.. 1 of the steps.. if you're pure at heart and without sin.. you can see.. it was made out of pure gold.. solid *en gold man.. so I walked up the steps.. and I go to my 1st cousin Ari and my mate Spiro.. there it is re.. there it is and that re.. and they were shuuuut up reeeee.. shuuuuut up re.. and I'm like.. I'm *en serious re.. there it is and that re.. and they were like.. yeah whatever and that re.. so we all go inside the monastery.. meet the priest and that re.. I slipped him 200€.. and told him under 1 condition.. tell the lads it was the 3rd highest step.. so we asked the priest which step it was.. and he goes.. the 3rd highest.. and Spiro and my cuz Ari were flipping out and that re.. and then the word spread.. and I became a town legend re.. was it worth the 200€. *en oath man.

Alexander the Great as coach..

Can change his game plan at a whim. When confronted with 100s of 1000s of Persians on the battlefield at Guagamela.. with only 40 thou Greeks.. he was smart enough to know.. not to fight against em head on.. so he used his cavalry to spread the Persian army and break through infantry lines.. going straight for the Great king Darius himself.. the Persians couldn't fight without Darius's command.. Darius combuster bricked his jocks and fled when he saw Alexander approaching him.. and the battle was over.

Moral of the story: Get a new coach that plays the game with a sense of dare surprise and freedom. A risk taker. Tenacious. Unshakeable. Chameleon like. Intelligent. All the qualities that make a coach great re.

Us Macedonians were the only Greek city state never to mix water with wine and we were a bunch of goat herders not overly philosophical and s**t like that.. you can see that illiterate goat herder in me at times.. not that often though.. but it's there.. that's why they used to call us barbarians and that re sort of a thing.. every other Greek city state used to mix there water with wine.. can you believe that.. pffffffff.

But from goat herders.. we came good.. put every other Greek city state's house in order.. formed the Hellenic Republic.. and conquered the world.

The pure wine and partying like illiterate goat herders.. was a constant throughout..

I like that...... I like that.

The Collingwood FC could learn from us Macedonians.. how to balance out being colorful.. ruthless.. barbaric.. and smart.. all that sort of s**t to achieve optimum success.

Went to a *en Greek restaurant last night.. big call but the *en best in Melbourne I reckon man.. 'The Greek Spot' in Hawthorn.. wouldn't go there for a romantic dinner or s**t like that.. doesn't have that sort of *en ambience about it and that re.. place looks like s**t..

If you wanna go somewhere for a decent sized meal.. authentic.. that sort of s**t.. 2nd to none man.. good for a family get together.. party or whatever.. a no frills sit in.. pre game meal. Family owned and runned. Love that *en s**t man.

God

I really need to move back to Greece.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

At home with Gimp

I'm back in my pad in Sth Yarra. Got me mum to clean vacuum and dust the joint.. I come home from work.. and what has she done.. planted fig mandarine orange and apple trees right next to my infinity pool.. I go.. I go.. I go.. I go.. muuhhhhhhummmmmmmm.. then I went over to her.. and gave her the biggest hug and told her she's cute.

Imma leave em there re.. might start a trend I reckon and that in the Yarra mate.. if the Gimp's doing it.. I suppose it's ok for us.. eventually the Yarra will resemble Northcote re.. no need to go to the fruit shop.. go for a walk around the bloke.. and you've got access to a smorgasbord of fruit.. pick here.. pick there.. no worries re.

Trying to find things to do around the house and that re.. so decided to wash the windows in my home in Mount Martha.. there's plenty of things you can do around the house.. get off of the playstation mate.. stay active.

The results speak for themselves..

Sunrise in Mount Martha.. like every bird and bumblebee.. like every cloud and every ******* tree man.. and s*t like that.. I feel so much a part of it and that re.. nature has got me high and it's ****** beautiful man..

My local shut down.. so was forced to update my home gym.. stretched the photo a lil bit but couldn't manage to get it all in.. apologies re

Sunrise in Rye re..

F great reee

There you go.. added bonus.. our friend the kookaburra. Awesome animal. Always pays us a visit when we're up there.

Just received a PM from Maggie05. She wanted more info on spray painting her old arnotts tin boxes and cans and stuff cause she painted em with a brush and it left streaks and glug on em and it was time consuming cleaning up as well.. I told her a while ago.. just purchase spray cans from a $2 shop.. no mess.. less time consuming.. leaves no streaks.. and above all else it's fun.

Thought it would be a good idea to share the results with everyone.. not just Maggie05 so you can all benefit from my knowledge re.

I have chosen a brilliant exotic blue color to give my holiday home more of a tropical beachy look and that re. The decking I will paint a chocolate brown color to match the olive green color my folks painted the entire house in.. including the window frames.

Enjoy.

How good is watching footy on a Friday night when the weather is f.. snug like a bug in a rug re.. one of God's greatest blessings re.

If we lose this man.. I swear.. I will tell my neighbor Graeme in Rye f finally re..

whenever he brings up s**t like 'oh you know what you need to do is jump in the green waste bin when it gets full and s**t too make more room for the remainder of your green waste.. and you should get this manual tree lopper its great'.

Listen Graeme re.. do I look like a local gifto who jumps in green waste bins re.. it's my holiday shak re.. then pull out my stihl poll saw.. you see this you gifto.. metrosexual impulse buy re.. sick of just going.. oh that's a good idea Graeme.. oh that's a nice tree lopper Graeme.

I've f had it. That's it for me.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Brunswick St

When you grow your beard as long as macafs it looks like youve made a concerted and deliberate effort to look different. bit like those brunswick st types who make a deliberate effort not to conform.. its actually harder work to look like a moron than to try and look half decent. eg.. i saw a bloke on a bike riding down brunswick st with a jim jess duffle coat. what he sees in it.. when he spoted it at some op shop was a deliberate attempt to look different when he actually looked like a moron.

im a pretty boy fashionista type and its a hell of a lot easier just to buy good quality clothes.. and it takes less effort than trying to spot malakies like a jim jess duffle coat at some obscure op shop. i get my hair cut short back and sides and bit longer on top with nice facial growth.. i dont dye my hair purple and have a pigs ring through my nostrils.. once again less effort on my behalf. but im touted as being superficial and with no substance.. makes no sense to me.

I've made the effort to better understand political correctness.. so I've spent the last coupla hrs on Brunswick St with the mouhles. Went to a vegan restaraunt for pets.. now I'm on my way to a cafe with a Jim Jess duffle coat and a rusted old bike that annoys the f out of folk who travel to work every morning.. did a bit of window shopping as well.. saw a nice set of old rusted cutlery and a singer sewing machine.. really quite lovely.

The other day I saw this idiot on like a f 20 yr old bike riding up Brunswick St with a Jim Jess duffle coat.

I thought to myself.. f it re.. if we f lose this.. I f swear man.. I will scour the earth for a ronny wearmouth duffle coat and I won't give up until I find it. Every f op shop re.

And they have a crack at us fashionistas re.. i walk into a boutique store. 10 minutes max re I'm outta there with a coupla stylish shirts or whatever re.. not like these bong smoking hipsters re.. on the look out for clothing that looks like s**t for days on end re.

These mouhla hipsters in 30 yrs time will find my shirt in an op shop cause I'm a generous man in nature and that re.. do they give thought that the shirt was high end fashion at the time I purchased it re.. you wanna be a true hipster.. adam and eve re.. get some leafs re.

I have f had it man.. that's it for me.

F re....

On my way into the ground in my Jag.. smoking a dart.. playing one of my go to pick up tracks with my subwoofers blaring to.. 's clubs.. don't stop moving to the funky funky beat'.. i didnt realise I was ashing into my coffee cup when I took a sip out of it.. and powwww my throat was like f fireworks re.. had to stop the car and throw up on the side of punt rd.. some good samaritan bruncwictk st looking op shop hipster thought he'd come and help me out.. told me to don't worry if you get your clothes and shoes dirty if you throw up on em.. I go. 'Ti lesssss reeee ******* Gino's Rossi's re.. what are you wearing re.. floral 60s s**t re.. ade fige apo do re.'

I was so happy this morning.. I was hop skipping and jumping down Brunswick St singing 'they paid paradise to put up a parking lot'.. and these Brunswick st mouhles started having a crack at me as I hopped and skipped past em singing with a smile on my face.. they were sitting at a cafe drinking some s**t that smelt like dirt or some s**t like that.. and I go to em.. 'you know mouhles.. where you're sitting now there was a tree there 500 yrs ago re vlaka'.. they just stopped and stared at me.

Am I a great or what re. A f bastion reeee

Swearing and carrying on like an idiot is ok as long it's not extreme and that re.. eg.. player drops the pill 17 consecutive times like Dawsy back in the day re.. it's ok to lean over to your mate and say.. f this s**t and that re.. if patrons within a 3-5 metre radius or thereabouts hear it.. stiff s**t re.

But trying to get this point across to politically correct driven idiots is like trying to educate someone from East Brunswick to cook a proper meal and that re.

Seedsman’s hair is more versatile than Tomislav's bud.. Seeds you can walk into a Moe pub.. work in an office.. rock the blocks on a bar down Chappel.. talk with tree hugging s**t talking 'look at me im perusing throuh a free beat magazine please notice me in my floral s**t' hipsters who would do anything to suck you into buying em a drink down Brunswick St

Intentionally causing serious injury is what springs to mind with our medical staff.. where did we find em from Brunswick St promoting natural healing through zen or some s**t. F unbelievable re.

I studied Arts but also have a business degree.. proof enough re.. but I like good fashion.. not into over priced rusted cutlery and vegan op shop clothing and walking my malnourished dog up and down Brunswick St feeding off back of restaurant food bins. F that re

That's the s**t I don't get re.. there's so many that rate Brunswick and Johnson st over here. Vlakies re. What old clothing and sewing factories.. who gives a s**t. Full of hipsters and God knows what else.. who appreciate what exactly? Turning the joint into a circus.. an excuse to live on the pension pick pocketing darts or smoking rolled up dog turd.

You want history.. visit Thessaloniki re.

I try not to think about folk who drink Venezuelan tea and eat obscure scones and attend protests to save the whale and heritage tree.. when all they want to do is pick pocket your cigs given the chance. People should concentrate on being good.. rather than walk down Brunswick st window shopping for antique cutlery.. when they should know it's actually rusted.

Perhaps if De Goat played his lil part for the community by tweeting sumfin like.. I dunno.. sumfin like.. erghhhh.. aghhhh.. ummmm..

'I voted 'yes' to activate the Northcote Public Golf Course for golf prior to 3pm with non-golf options for the wonderful Brunswick St crowd to use for walking.. picknicking.. freebieing.. duck and turtle watching.. flaura and fauna admiration.. after 3pm.. Merri Creek and Mayer Park is just not enough for the wider community to enjoy.'

That might juuuust be enough I reckon.

I love the dissent rule man.. the next step I reckon and that.. players to stop calling the umpire 'mate'.. must take part in a 'Respect at Training' course or whatever.. let's go full on Brunswick St man.

Went to uni with a couple of good mates of mine I've known for yrs now.. Les and Wally.. they still call me greasy souv and wog and that re.. and I call em pink playdo plastesine Mark Woodforde and 'look there's a platypus'.. and we just laugh it off.. give each other a slap on the back.. and say.. 'how you been re ga...'.

That's not racism.. that's camaraderie. Not gonna get all Brunswick st about it.. for crying out loud.

Is BT commentating tonight re.. anyone notice he ceased calling Prestia the human meatball.. don't tell me the great man has succumbed to the animal rights vegan Brunswick st op shop rollies pick your pocket for a dart cancel culture.

Unbelievable re.

I'm rocking the Brodes poney tail re.. looks ******* sick man.. if I'm on a Tinder date with an environmentalist greeny animal lover and that re.. I can quickly plat my hair make it look like shitlocks and that re.. throw on some platypus or emu socks or whatever re.. put on a fake Canadian accent.. roll some dog turds.. get in that Brunswick st style s**t talking 360 groove with an OP shop acoustic guitar and a 50 yr ol rusted to the * annoying bike 'in the middle of the road at snails pace with a jim jess duffle coated jacket not acknowledging the constant tooting from motorists to get out of the *en way' moooooood man.. and I'm fuuuucken in re.

If we lose this *en s**t man.. I *en swear.. imma put my life on hold.. and attempt to revise the top 100 songs of all time.. knowing full well.. all it takes is one vroma from Brunswick st to complain about a track being not fully inclusive of s**t and *en s**t like that.. so I'm back to *en square 1 again mate.

I've *en had it man.. I'm done.

So what happens with this alfresco malakia.. say if you can't park in the city and that re.. does that mean you can only park in areas like Brunswick st and that re.. is it worth parking there.. having these vromiarides preach to you about life.. followed by em trying to pick pocket your darts?

A lefty tried to start me the other day re.. was walking down Brunswick St in my new Ted Baker boots and that re.. and one of em said to me and that re.. how dare you and that re.. I was like.. look re.. I'm a lefty from the future and that re.. and they were like.. you idiot.. and I was like.. here's a free dart re.. here's a free dart re.. and they were like.. thanks.. you're a saviour.

That's why sport is great re.. the other day.. walking down Brunswick St re.. wearing a new pair of Nike's.. someone tried to start me re.. oh Nike this and Nike that.. are you aware of the labour conditions and environmental impact Nike has had on this and that and erg agh and agh and erg.. I'm like.. give it a rest re.. they look good re.. not interested re.. here here's a dart re.. allright re.. deal with all this s**t during the week.. and balance it out by going to go watch your team play on the weekend.. have a drink.. have a laugh.. and if you're team wins/loses.. enjoy it.. look forward again to next weekend.

Is it ok.. to find.. saaaay.. aaaaa.. Dua Lipa.. a lot more.. more like way way more.. more like 'without a shadow of a doubt' more.. physically attractive.. than saaaay.. aaaaa.. Magda Szubanski.. for eg?

Just asking for my mate Spiro.. he went to bar down Brunswick St last night.. and there was a group of people like gathered in a circle sitting on these op shop bean bags with foam balls trickling out of em and that re.. and he approached em and asked them.. this looks interesting.. can I join in.. and they said.. sure.. so he skulled his scotch and coke.. and got in there.. and asked em.. like.. what are we doing here and that re.. and they said.. we're doing a spiritual awakening thingamajig.. and he goes.. allright then whatever and that re.. and then they asked him if he thought Dua Lipa was more physically attractive than Magda Szubanski.. and he said.. wotta you reckon and that re.. s**t yeah.. then they were like.. wooottttt.. and they then expelled him from the group.. and he was like.. haaaaa.. then he went down to Southbank.. and apparently he reckons he had a good night after that. 20 scotch and cokes.. pashed a coupla times on the dancefloor.. turning it on with his Rick Astley on the spot dance moves.. and that was it re.

The most important part of the club is the footy department mate.. say the Rye don't step on pebbles at the back beach cause your disturbing the delicate ecosystem appreciation association contacts the club asking for an endorsement or support or whatever and that re.. leave the players and coaches out of it.. we want them operating at beast mode 100% of the time mate.. if they want a statement or whatever.. just get it from the bootstudder or someone working in the cfc store.. and just make it out as a Collingwood spokesperson.. if we're gonna send someone out there to virtue signal so we can get the clubs name on the front of some environmental Brunswick St style gazette or whatever.. I dunno.. send a past player out there.. like a Jason Wild or whoever re.. if he owns a business he can go out there and do the virtue signalling in return for giving his business a plug.. the club a good name.. I dunno.. slogan it with.. ex Collingwood great Wild says keep ocean wild. Some s**t like that. And the footy department is left in tact.. no time wasted.

My career will not be defined by winning a premiership? *en kiddin' me. There goes the.. oh he's so s**t and that re but he's a premiership ruckman concept re.. eh *en Soldo is a s**t campaigner.. oh.. but he's a premiership ruckman and that re.. and then it's like.. oh and that re sort of a thing. That ahristo will always be remembered as a premiership ruckman mate.. that's it mate.. forget about it mate.

I don't believe him.. I think it was all part of the peace love and harmony virtue signalling Brunswick St style vlakies that was drummed into him coming from the old regime.

If Lipinski is not a Collingwood player by 5pm today.. eastern standard time.. I think we should all get a masters in human rights.. get together down Brunswick St.. and potato sack race it mate.

I have absolutely had it man.. I can't anymore..

The Drac's done a great job re.. wow.. what a bloody coincidence.. who would have thought that re.. most lockdown city in the world.. how many cities are we competing against re? Might start my own party re.. he can have my vote.. I'll call it the 'no solution to global warming unless we revert back to the pre industrial age' party re.. I can then piss fart around down Brunswick St wearing a potato sack and that re sort of a thing and that re.

If anyone wants to show interest for the job (coach).. by all means.. do so.. if you think you're qualified.. what's upsetting is people who do it for Brunswick St purposes. Go wear your Jim Jess duffel coat.. go find yourself a piece of discarded cardboard.. write your s**t on that.. and go preach down that way re. Spare me the crap.

There's intricacies in a game of football that a soccer netball rugby coach or whatever will never quite get. It's those 1 5 10%ers. It's the fine tuning.

The only person I can think off that can come in and do a good job coaching these lads.. coming from a football background.. is yours truly.. why? Cause I'm a great re.

If we lose this s**t man.. imma get my Masters in Human Rights.. get a 16 hr a fortnight casual job working at a guilt free vegan cardboard restaraunt and wander up and down Brunswick St all day looking up at the sky and smiling for no no apparent reason whilst asking everyone for rollies at odd intervals.. when I'm not working.

I have completely had it. I'm done man. I can't.

Was listening to Cold Chisel earlier.. you know.. working class man.. flame trees.. Jimmy makes reference to Uncle Sam.. Vietnam.. God.. factory out of workers.. etc..

I think we should just allow Brunswick st culture permeate every aspect of our lives.. and get these tracks banned on the radio.

I watched a bit of the Collingwood game.. and the 2nd half of the WB v Melb game.. and I don't understand what all the hype is about.. if I'm looking at quality.. the standard of play is below par to awful at times. The problem is a lack of penetration in the kick.. ordinary disposal by hand and foot particularly under pressure.. lack of pace in movement of the pill in transition and on the switch.. combine all 3 and you've got a game that resembles rugby union.

Possitives.. did see some quality contested marks.. endeavour.. pressure.. commitment.. courage.. off the charts.

Don't want to get all Brunswick St about it.. it's got a long way to go.

A vote for the Drac.. is a vote for Brunswick st hipsters with fake Canadian accents.

Vote 1. The Drac. The Savior!

The new world ord... oh s**t sorry.. the new covid normal agenda.. same Brunswick st 420 friendly jim jess duffle coated dart pickpocketing op shop climate control gurus.. who are now on their knees begging for a pub with a heater and a pint of beer re..

True greats re.. vote 1 Adam Bandt.. Megas Bandt.. the greatest Megas of the them all.

Went for a bike ride down Brunswick st in my new Ducati.. and this gifto on his used bike screams out.. 'get a used recycled bike.. good for the environment you arsehole'.. I go.. 'what did you say re.. you're the same gifto that asked me for a dart the other day.. just hang on a minute mate'.. so I pulled out a dart.. and started smoking it.. left a bit of tobacco on it re.. and flung it in to the gutter.. I go 'smoke that you f gifto.. its recycled'.. 'next time you ask me for a dart.. stick around again mate.' Practice what you preach.. dickhead.

They'll complain about having it impinge on their civil liberties and s**t like that.. yeah going for a stroll on Brunswick st from Alexander parade to Johnson and being asked.. 'hey bro.. you got a ciggie' f 10 times re.. what's that re.. what's that re.. what about my civil liberties mate.. i get to Johnson and I'm like 'agh stoooooo dialoooo re'..

The thought of Richmond winning and the Cotch talking s**t about the universe.. man.. I would f do anything for a GWS win.. except go down f Brunswick st and eat an organic gluten-free flourless vegan carob cake with all those dirty hippy liberals.. that's a line I simply will not cross.

I have absolutely had it man.. that's it for me man. I'm f done.

It takes someone brave like that road working fluro jacket wearing bogan who walked through a crowd of vegans protesting.. whilst launching his falsies into a meat pie.. to get things back on an even keel and that re.

I left during the first quarter after I heard a supporter calling a player an idiot.. disgusting behaviour.

How dare they.. blood sweat and tears to make it at this level.. and you hear s**t like that in the crowd.

I've ceased listening to music as well.. everything is oh so offensive these days

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Getting all emotional

I will endeavour to get to the G on time.. just accepting a Queen's honors medal for services to Bigfooty.. making it more inclusive to all personality types.. folk with differing knowledge bases and s**t like that.. and folk who love the game for whatever reasons they like.. whether it be for fun.. serious s**t.. and everything in between.

Just wanted to thank everyone for their contribution to the legend that is the gimp.. this is your medal just as much as mine.

Sorry getting emotional here and that re.

You guys are f greats re.

Collectively.. we're the best going around in any genre of sport.

Haci's Kebabs on the corner of Bell and St George's was where Spiro and I used to hang out on a Friday before we used to go clubbing and that re.. kebabs were f quality man.. thought I'd give em a plug.. great memories.. popping open the bonnet to show off the diff.. pumping tracks from a sick system and subbies.. attracting more of a crowd and that re.. f getting emotional and s**t just thinking about it and that re. Good times.

I drive past Frankston en route to my holiday homes when I wanna take the scenic route and s*t like that.. now what the * are they doing on the ****** foreshore there these days.. ******* sand castle comps and ******* s*t like that.. and everyone acting all civilized.. drive past there and up that ****** hill with this lil cheeky smile on my face thinking.. you *s missed out big time mate.. the f glory days man.. getting all emotional and s**t just thinking about it and that re.. might reminisce this morning with a few shots of poliakov.. * it man.. you only live once..

Me ol man had all those artists in his vinyl collection.. remember as a kid and that re.. going through his collection and s*t like that.. I pull out this vinyl man.. Engelbert Humperdinck.. I go to me all man.. who the * is this campaigner re.. he goes you were conceived to this music re.. I go ****** sweet man.. he then goes.. and look how beautiful you turned out.. I then go.. then why isn't the campaigner in a frame or some s**t around the home to commemorate the occasion.. he started laughing.. I started laughing..

Good times man.. ******* getting emotional about it and s**t like that.. aghhhhh good memories man.

One thing I miss bad man.. when Spiro used to drive in his lowered to * metalic purple colored falcon with all the tags ripped off.. and I used to drive in my gemi with the subwoofers going ******* full ball sick man.. and when wed stop at red lights on Sydney Rd and that re.. either Spiro or myself used to get out and do like fake road rage with each other and that re.. it was ******* hilarious bad man.. everyone was like wtf and that re.. then wed try and keep a straight face and that re.. but that was the hardest part I reckon and that man.. agh bit of fun.. good times man..

Sorry getting emotional and that man.. bought a bit of a tear to my eyes and stuff like that and that re..

All this talk on the GM (George Martin) re.. can't get Club Tropicana out of my *en head re..

Reminds me of the times when I've gone to *en Greece.. spending an obligatory week with the *en relos.. acting all polite and s**t like that.. handing em a $100 euro note each courtesy of the folks.. getting handed an oversized imitation nike top they got from the local market I turf in the bin when they're not looking and that re.. then heading off to the islands to get shitfaced and dance the blocks in my fluro g bangers man..

Club Tropicana drinks are freeeeee
Fun and sunshine
There's enough for everyone
Sailing through the Aegean Seaaaaaa

Haha I just made that last line up like in a jiffy man. A *en great re.

Agh * man.. getting all emotional and s**t like that just thinking about it and that re.. good times man.. good times.

You know what I miss most man.. going to watch hellas v alexandros man.. the old *en wogs.. you're sitting there and you here s**t like.. soooooot *en.. and c'mon Angiiieee.. and pousooooo ahristo.. they'd basically call our players that * up.. the anti christ.. s**t like that.. but the s**t I miss most are the *en fistikia re.. pumpkin seeds.. all of em used to eat that s**t.. each one of em would chew through 100s of em re.. and spit em out and s**t when they're going nuts and that re.. it was like standard practice to cop a few of these fistikia.. as they're spitting em out.. on the back of your neck and s**t.. on your cheeks and that re.. you'd go home and wreak of b.o no matter what you had on.. you remove your jumper t shoes and s**t like that and they'd be at least 10 *en fistikia or whatever stuck on em and *en lodged here and there and everywhere and that re..

Sorry getting emotional and s**t like that.

Good times man.. good times man.

Remember the days.. getting together with the lads and that re.. for a game of poker a barbie and some tsipouro and scotch and cokes and $9 pizzas and that re.. and then someone would start with the 'Scarface' quotes.. and then everyone would get in to it and that re.. for *en hrs re.. quote after quote after quote.. some of them were repeated at nauseum and that re.. but still got a lot of laughs.. there was always 1 bloke in the group that hadn't seen the movie.. and they used to cop like.. how the * haven't you seen the movie yet re.. are you allright and that re.. where you been and that re.. give him the DVD re give him the DVD and that re.. they'd cop sfaliares to the back of the fatsa.. and get like stacked on.. and get frowned upon and that re.. best night's I reckon and that re.. *en miss em re..

Good times man.. good times. *en getting all emotional just thinking about em now re.. agh well.. * re.. it is what it is and that re.. it is what it is.

My ol' man likes the occasional shot of grapa vodka whiskey and s**t like that right and that re.. standard *en s**t right.. one day I gave him a shot of Chartreuse.. he goes.. Ti sto dialo eine afto re vromae re vromae.. and i was like.. it's good man.. it's good man.. try it re.. try it re.. so he took the shot.. and he *en looooossstttttt it re.. he was like.. ti eine afto re malaka.. dilitirio.. thelis na pethano agh.. ela do re gadouri .. ela do re gadouri.. alitis tis kinonias.. then he threw the shotty glass at me.. and I was like.. * dad.. you ****ed up my Hugo Boss shirt.. and how the * am I gonna get the smell off of this s**t now re.. and he was like.. Ti Hugo Boss re.. Ti Hugo Boss re.. I'm the the boss in here re.. I'm the boss in here re.. and then he started chasing me around the living room dinner table calling me a *en Satana and that re.. and saying s**t like.. ela do re.. ela do re.. tha se ftaksio.. basically calling me Satan and I'll fix you up and that re.. and I was like.. yeah no worries re catch me.. got him fired up even more.. was *en hilarious re.. I was basically more worried about my shirt more that anything else and that re.. $220 *en shirt.. couldn't get the smell of Chartreuse off of it.. even after 10 washes or whatever.. so was gonna turf it.. but took it to the Op shop Brunswick St bound re.

Agh the *en memories man. Agh the *en memories.

Getting all emotional just thinking about it now.

Good times man.. good times.

Kala re.. when I used to go to Victoria Park with Ari and Spiro and that re.. we used to go round the back of the ground.. get the Daics duffle coat and that re.. throw it on the top of the barbwire fence and jump on top of big Bazza's donut van and that.. and get in for free and that re.. when we first started doing it.. Baz was like.. what the f are you wog campaigners doing.. and we were like.. taaaaake it eeeeeeasy re Baz.. taaaaake it eeeeeasy re Baz.. *en hell mate.. this guy re.. and we were like.. look re Baz.. we'll buy a bag of donuts every week if ya shut your mouth about it re.. he was like.. yeah no worries but if you dint the top I'll punch the * out of yas.. and we were like.. you're a funny campaigner re Baz.. occasionally we'd buy cornettos or a pie or whatever from the campaigner take one bite out of em and turf it at him and run of pissing ourselves laughing and that re.. and he was like.. yaaaa *en dickheads dog campaigners come back next week and see what happens to yas ya *s I'll *en so and so do this to yas and re.. and we'd stick the big middle finger up at him and that re.. but he never did anything.. he was a *en cool as re.. so we went to games and that for a good few yrs for tsaba re.. for the love of the game and that re and to help out local business.. now fuuuucken foooorget about it re.. it's all commercial and that re.. cant jump fences.. can't jump turnstiles without getting ****ed by 15 unqualified security guards and *en surveillance and *en s**t like that. It's ****ed re.. we've gone over the top man.

Agh the *en days re.. good to reminisce about it now re.. but * would be great to just have one more game we could all attend that's like that.. made you feel alive. Sorry *en getting all emotional thinking about it now and that re sort of a thing and that.

*! Those pre covid normal days man.. Good times man.. good times man. Agh well.. *!

Coupla of me besties were from *en Rezza (Reservoir) man.. we used to go down to the billiard joint on Edwards St and play NPL and that re.. there was like *en 10 to 15 to 20 of 8 player tables set up for Poker nights coupla nights a week and that re.. we'd go down there.. pay our $20.. and play tournament poker.. *en grouse re.. I still remember the days when there were like 80-100 players turning up every night.. and the room was like a cacophony of 'not on my big blind.. not on my big blind'.. 'respect the big blind.. respect the big blind.. 'oh that's a *en roxy hand.. that's a roxy hand'. The atmosphere in that joint was *en electric man. Cause it was only $20 to enter.. everyone just basically went there socialise and that re.. so everyone was going all in with all sorts of s**t hands.. your 10 2's your 7 2's s**t like that just to purposely bad beat the other bloke so they could crack the shits and have a few laughs and that re.. there was always a few in the joint that thought they were *en Negreanu and Hellmuth types and that re.. everyone wanted to sit on their tables as well for the bad beat man.. for $20 and a free meal.. wtf is up with taking it seriously and that re.. it's not the wsop man..

Now they've shut the *en joint down.. very sad.. getting all emotional now just thinking about it and that re.. good times man.. good times.

I miss those *en days man.. *en head down to High St Thornbury for a souv and that re before going out and that re.. with me mate Spiro and his 1st cousin Manny who was always looked like a kmart job.. neat good Greek haircut.. so he always used to look weird at me and that re.. we'd *en line up for a souv and that re.. and the bloke would ask.. what are you having boyvez and that re.. and I was like.. gis a *en second man.. so I'd ask Spiro and Manny.. what the * ate you campaigners having and that re.. and they were like.. ummm and argggg.. and I was like.. c'mon * yas.. then they were like.. yeah we'll have a mix chicken and lamb souv.. and I was like.. shut up re.. go full on lamb re.. and they were like.. allr8ght and that re.. and I was like.. 3 lambs re.. then we'd sit outside.. launch into that s**t like animals.. kinda like competing to see who would down the campaigners first and that re.. and I would always win and that re.. and once we were all finished and that re.. we'd ask each other if we were *en greats and that re.. for a good 5 minutes.. and then we'd get into serious conversations like.. 'so where we going tonight and that re'.. and Spiro and Manny would say.. go here and there and that re.. and I was like.. shuuuut up re.. we're going here and that.. and they were like.. allright re.. allright re.. and I was like.. what's with the attitude and that re.. and they were like.. allright re soz and that re.. then I'd ask if my hair was looking allright.. and they were like.. yeah re.. and I was like.. I'm *en serious man.. and they were like.. it *en it is.. and I was like.. don't * with me re I'm *en serious and that re.. and they were like.. yessss re.. and I was like.. what's with the attitude re.. and they were like soz and that re.. and I was like.. ok re.. then we'd go out and go nuts on the scotch and cokes..

That's camaraderie right there re.

*en miss it re.. getting all emotional right now just thinking about it and that.. good times man.. good times.

There was a time there.. when Spiro and I used to go to the clubs and s*t like that.. and when I was in the mood to pick up and that re.. I used to send the prick away.. so I'm sitting there.. having a chat with someone.. then hed approach me and say.. ' man.. is that really you.. you're my favourite player at Sth Melbourne Hellas.. can I have your autograph I love you man I love you man'. And I'm like.. thanks man.. enjoying the games.. like acting all modest and humble and s**t like that.. Then I'd ask the bartender I'm attracted to.. for a pen and paper.. shed give me it.. I'd blink at her.. shed blink at me.. I'd sign it.. hed walk off. It works well.. cause I've organized 2 dates in one hit sort of a thing and that re cause I'm like a famous campaigner.. and everyone wants in and that re.

Spiro and I used to practice it at his joint.. his mum used to crack the shits.. she used to say s**t like.. ti kanate re malakes.. pouuuu sas re.. alitides.. Spiro was like.. whattt mum.. then we used to just laugh about it and that re.

If you guys wanna do a Spiro for me on the night.. great.. if not that's ok.. good to just reminisce about it right now and that re.. sorry.. getting all emotional about it and that re sort of a thing and that.

Good times man.. good times mate.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Fashion and grooming

Hairstyles are an expression of oneself re.. you can express your personality and other things through your hairstyle.

A clean pair of shoes again are no different.. drive a nice car with messy looking tires.. car loses it's appeal.

Whatever the package.. just be yourself.

It's like Bucks got success from wearing a Vivienne Westwood quality shirt.. got a lil complacent and that re. Reverts back to wearing Bonds s**t and that re.. a safe generic vanilla option.. and schlaaaaack.. gets drilled by freo nth and hawthorn..

Pull out the Westwood again Bucks.. they're quality shirts that last a while.. useless in the wardrobe re..

I mentioned my love of fashion and color matching and s**t like that when I went for the assistant recruiter interview with Decka re.. not sure whether he was looking at me stunned or like I was a revolutionary or some s**t like that when I said 'what re Deck.. transferrable skills re.. c'mon'.. I think he thought I was on to something and he didn't want me to steal his thunder.. cause the interview lasted 2 or so minutes after that sort of a thing re.

When you grow your beard as long as macafs it looks like youve made a concerted and deliberate effort to look different. bit like those brunswick st types who make a deliberate effort not to conform.. its actually harder work to look like a moron than to try and look half decent. eg.. i saw a bloke on a bike riding down brunswick st with a jim jess duffle coat. what he sees in it.. when he spotted it at some op shop was a deliberate attempt to look different when he actually looked like a moron.

im a pretty boy fashionista type and its a hell of a lot easier just to buy good quality clothes.. and it takes less effort than trying to spot malakies like a jim jess duffle coat at some obscure op shop. i get my hair cut short back and sides and bit longer on top with nice facial growth.. i dont dye my hair purple and have a pigs ring through my nostrils.. once again less effort on my behalf. but im touted as being superficial and with no substance.. makes no sense to me.

I recommend South Yarra Hair on High for a fresh new cut.. just ask for Serge

Look guys if you wanna go for the Ben Reid lumberjack look or whatever re.. fair enough do your own thing.. but you're limiting yourself to the pub and Moe crowds and s**t.

If you shave your hair off.. and wanna grow a beard of some sort or some s**t.. then trim to a 3 or 4 day growth.. looks great in most settings not just the Moe type goat herding tsobani cow milking crowds.

Glad to help.

The longer the hair.. the more fun you can have with it.. express yourself a lil more.. some days the wolverine look.. other days comb and blow wave it to the side say in the summer time cause it looks great when it's blowing with the breeze re..

Re....what surprises me most about this story, is there were a bunch of Greeks standing and watching in horrendous weather....I call bullshit, no Greek is standing in s**t weather messing up their hair. True re?

What makes you think flicking your hair back and forward when it's wet and that re doesn't make you look sexy.. let the beads of water drip onto your face and chest and that re.. I'd post a short vid of me doing it at Rye beach when I'm exiting the water with my mates handing me a towel.. but not one to boast about it..

I dunno.. for me re.. I've got a few grey hairs starting to appear and that re.. am I at that age where I wanna look distinguished and s**t.. it's a f tough one re.. so I've opted for the chameleon strategy re.. if I'm rocking it at the clubs and s**t like that.. I get out the just for men beard and moustache color to cover the greys.. if I'm at somewhere sophisticated and top end s**t.. I'll let the greys grow out a bit and 'turf the hang around with Otto' types and start talking bougouizi or however the f you spell that s**t..

Shoes never change though.. can't get myself to wear a generic Myer brand. The aura is in the shoes

mate.

My George M specs arrived today.. they're ******* sick man.

Why do we have goal kicking practice at training.. when we never kick em..

It's like wearing designer clothing.. spraying on some la nuit de l'homme.. blow drying your hair for an hr.. looking mint.. then staying home.

Gotta dust these beauties off and 'wear em in' for Friday nights game. Kati blisters I'm gonna get over the next coupla days.. *en forget about it and that mate.. if you wanna look *en mint and that re.. beauty is pain I *en tell ya.

How's everyone else travelling.. got your color palette and fashion sorted out for the game?

Some of my collection re

Just received my vintage foundry's. Retailing for $466 AUD in the states.. picked em up for $109 re.

Enjoy your day in your Kmart ugs and baked beaned stained tracky dacks you haven't washed in 2 weeks waiting 10 hrs for the game to commence whilst I go for me retail shopping at the Hugo boss/Ted Baker outlet followed by a nice luncheon at Collins Quarter re.

You guys are greats re..

Had to get my mind off of the game and that re.. so I engaged in a bit of retail therapy and purchased a pair of black side buckle Karl Lagerfeld leather boots.. and have booked dinner at the Vue De Monde tonight. Feel a lil bit better now.

Guys.. if you're not feeling good about the game.. get out there and do the same. Go out and buy a new pair of 2 striped tracky dacks from Kmart.. or a fresh pair of black socks.. go out and eat at Macas or whatever re. Doesn't have to be niche. That s**t is only reserved for me.

Hope that helps.

Enjoy the rest of your day.

F.. what a gorgeous day.. suns out and that re.. got me feeling all romantic and s**t like that.. so when and got myself a beautiful pair of Ted Baker shoes to add to my collection.

F great re.

Had my Karl Lagerfeld's delivered from Paris this morning.. amazing boot.. the leather design zipper shape.. absolutely sublime. The leather kicks in as soon as you chuck these beauties on.. contours to the shape of your foot almost instantly.. like they were made.. just for you. Zipper gives the added adv of showing of a bit of sock to attract extra attention on a night out. Great for all occasions.. office formal or a casual night out on the town with friends.. day time meeting with friends.. day or night at the footy.. versatility with a splash of A1 class.. that's this boot right there.. classy 50 shades of sexy eye catching yet subtle dressed for success allrounder..

Enjoy..

The beauty of zipped boots.. you can have it 1/4 1/2 full zipped.. depends on your mood.. who you're with etc. Zips are a phallic symbol re.. buy a pair.. your life will transform. And just look at the leather on that boot.. it's f 50 shades of sexy mate.

What's everyone wearing to the game tonight.. have you all seen a consultant to sort out your autumn fashion color palette yet.. or we all just gonna wing it?

I think I just died and went to heaven and that re.. unfbelievable man.. must haves..

Oh kala.. I've got like 100 pairs of the weirdest socks you'll ever see in your life re..

The sock is a f sneaky way of showing a flash or splash of personality and that re.. you're at a f bar sipping on a Manhattan or whatever re.. in your gino rossi's or whatever re.. a feragamo suit.. pull up the slacks a bit to reveal that colorful sock re.. you'll get a more than possitive response I can assure you of that re.. lil red hot and Rhonda re.. you'll thank me for it.

I think if we all wore novelty face masks.. it would make life more bearable I reckon and that re.. so ordered this.. imagine walking through the aisles at Woolworth's and s**t like that.. it would be *en hysterical mate.. *en forget about it mate..

That's we're the govt has got it all wrong and that re.. only novelty masks permitted.. these surgical masks are *en awful mate. Hand craft one if you can't afford the price tag or whatever re.. the ot pmd me his dickhead one.. I go.. nothings *en changed ya dickhead.. agh re ot.. you're a *en great re

The eyes are the gateway to the soul mate.. good way to pick up and that without saying a word whilst picking up a punnet of strawberries and other exotic fruits mate.. am I a *en great or what re.. make good of any situation you find yourselves in peoples.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Fragrances

I like to read up on fragrances.. and just go in and buy em.. without sampling em and that re.. it's fun and exciting.. like a pack of footy cards and that re.. you open the packet.. you either like what you get or you don't.. then you swap the cards you don't want.. or with a fragrance.. you place it back into the box.. wrap it up.. and give it to someone as a gift. I just love the build up. Same sort of adrenalin rush you'd get from opening up a pack of footy cards and that re sort of a thing. Like opening up a box of chocolates and that re. Same s**t different smell and that re sort of a thing.

Normally people always want to get within 1.5m of me wherever I go and that re.. so why is it that when I deliberately try and smell like a cheap toilet fragrance.. by slapping on f brut33 and s**t like that.. thinking that s**t will work wonders.. like Moses parting the Red Sea and that re.. they still wanna get within 1.5m of me and that re.. no designer fragrances no nuffin mate.. seems as though aura overrides all that other s**t and that re.

Am I a f great or what re.

Since I started wearing brut.. I never sleep with a girl on the first date.. it takes me a good mth to get any sleep at all.

Got me ol' man acq di gio for Christmas. Musky scent. Not my fav but the oldies love that sort of s**t. Big upgrade from the blue stratos he normally wears. So pretty happy about that..

Got myself Blue De Chanel as an impulse buy.. Christ.. can't sit anywhere wearing this s**t without a compliment. F quality re. Close to my favorite.. along with la nuit de l'homme.

Imma launch in to a coupla Leroy d'Auvenay Mazis-Chambertin Grand Cru.. Cote de Nuits for today's game.. whilst wearing.. Issey Miyale L'Eau D'Issey Pour Homme Nuit..

Figured.. why not re.. watching a Collingwood v Carlton doesn't happen everyday.

Gotta enjoy it.

Bleu De Chanel or a Jean Paul Gaultier Ultra Male in there re.. the scent is far too intense for confined spaces and that re.. only wear that s**t when you want to stand out in a crowd.. you'd go for the YSL La nuit De L'homme.. subtle & masculine and not overpowering. Might get hints of lavender and fruity notes and that's fine.. still subtle enough re.. it settles down really nicely with the patchouli and vanilla notes.. if you wanna party in there for the night.

It's not necessarily about the aesthetics of the scent.. wearing a pheromone cologne or EDT to attract women.. a lot of time I wear a fragrance on a day or evening out that's not necessarily my fav.. it's ok and that re.. but this one is.. and I ain't going anywhere.

Synthetic fragrances are developed in laboratories.. I don't wear that s**t.

A boutique fragrance is natural.

Class is permanent.

If you guys are looking for a real ******* boozy masculine fragrance.. go with this *en beast re.. evokes *en images of *en Humphrey *en Boggart sitting at a *en bar on a 16 hr *en bender reaking of *en booze and cigars and cashews and *en s**t like that..

Armani Code Profumo.

A *en great re..

Enjoy..

What fragrance is everyone wearing for the game?

Considering I'm home.. and not going anywhere.. I might go with the Rexona Sport.. spray it on whilst saying it in a Spanish accent.. Rexonaa Sporrrtaaaa.

Hahaha.. oh God!

Might opt for the Acqua Di Gio Profumo The new mineral intensity over the Issey Miyake L'eau D'Issey Pour Home Nuit.. even though it's bloody winter and that re.

I have completely had.. I can't anymore. I'm sorry.

Look guys.. if you're gonna chose between the 2 sauvage and bleu de channel.. mate I'd go the *en channel mate.. sauvage is a nice fragrance.. mature and s**t like that.. but lacks that edginess.. smells like fresh laundry. It's a good fragrance when you're hanging around the home.. or the office.. nice fresh and crisp. Appeals enough to the *en pharamones so does the job and that re..

Bleu de channel is a *en beast sick * of a fragrance though.. real *en head turner man.. it's mature enough with a playful side.. when you're looking the part on a night out.. spray some of this s**t on.. and wonderful things will happen.. s**t loads of 50 shades of *en sexy in this fragrance. Does wonders at the clubs and s**t.

Depends on the bloke of course. I would request one of these 2 from the missus for your new covid normal Christmas. Probably go for the *en sauvage considering bars and clubs won't be open until 2023.

(Men don’t need fragrances?!) Are you telling me you wouldn't go for JPG's Ultra Male. Yeah we all know it's a flanker to the original.. but it's *en masculine.. intense.. seductive.. and at the same time delicate.. basically like a spicier slightly more 50 shades of sexy version of the original.. you've got the scent of *en citrus s**t like *en bergamot juicy black pear and lavender.. you've got *en wafts of cinnamon.. vanilla amber and woods that come into play as well re.. it's *en great re.

If you don't wanna try it.. perhaps purchase it for the bottle itself and the packaging. Can sit it on top on your cabinet or draws as a display item I suppose and that re sort of a thing and all that jazz and that re.

This s**t is a f madman man.. I kid you not.. I started wearing this s**t a coupla yrs ago.. oh kalaaaa re.. the results got my best mate Spiro all worked up.. he goes f gimme some ya dickhead.. I go f of Mario I've already introduced ya to Dimples and a coupla of quality date night kebab vans.. just don't touch my JP.

Kati bust ups we had afterwards. He was like who lent ya the mosimo singlet top when yours was in the wash.. and who helped you lower your f Gemi and that re.. we didn't talk for a good 6 mths after that.. but f it man.. not sharing it with anyone mate.. but now.. f it man.. I'm sharing it with you.. why.. cause you guys are f greats re. You deserve the best.

Introducing one of God's greatest blessings..

Enjoy..

The original is great.. but it's been overdone like one million.. you go to a club and s*t like that.. it's like.. you smell great.. oh you're wearing JPG.. the ultra male is more seductive mysterious and alluring.. it's like.. hmmmmmm I want me some of that.. ****** great re.. ultimate clubbing fragrance.

If someone tells me De Goey is training primarily as a midfielder.. I swear man.. I will wear a cheap bottle of david beckham cologne that stinks like toilet air freshener as opposed to the $450 bottle of creed aventus I'll be spraying from a sample at david jones.. going oh yeaaaahhhhh that smells nice to the salesperson whilst I keep spraying it on and on and going oops did I spray to much of that s**t on me re sorry re I do intend on purchasing it reee.. on my valentines day tinder date tonight re.

I have f had it re.. that's it for me man.

Hey BringouttheGimp I am heading to MCC soon. Any fragrance recommendations for which to tantalise the good (and not so good) folk in the Blazer Bar?

Pass by David Jones re. Ask to sample some Creed Aventus.. spray that s**t on your clothes and skin like a nutter before the sales assistant has a chance to say 'eh that's enough don't you think'.. then just say some s**t like 'I'll come by tomorrow to pick it up'. Easy Campese re.

When I met Rosey at Emerald Peacock i was *en wearing la nuit de l'homme.. drove her crazy... and I was getting just as much attention from a lot of the other female patrons in the joint.. she knew the power of la nuit de l'homme so she tried to roll me and that re.. so she purchased a bottle of hugo1.. decent enough fragrance.. not bagging it and that re.. but doesn't have the same pulling power of something like a la nuit de l'homme.. so I use to wear hugo1 when we used to go out to dinner and s**t like that.. but when I was out on my own or with my mates.. it was la nuit de lhomme.. bleu de chanel.. ultra male.. these 50 shades of sexy types.

It was only after about a year that we discovered we were both cheating on each other since day one.. cause she was doing the same s**t with her fragrances as well. Worked out well cause we both wanted a polyamorous relationship from the get go but we liked each other so much that we were too scared to admit it and that re.

Opinions are divided in the fragrance community as to what's better re..

Bleu de Chanel Parfum v Dior Sauvage.

My preference is Bleu de Chanel. Sexier fragrance re.. spray the s**t on.. and let it work it's magic re.

What are your opinions on the above aforementioned topic re longevity projection versatility originality etc..

Perhaps run a poll?

Kati grog bogs this morning re.. celebrating last night with half a slab and 3/4ers of a family sized real style pizza re.

Had to go to Bunnings for industrial strength air freshener re.. either that or some s**t like david beckham $15 cologne would have done the trick re.

Unfbelievable re

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Food and Dining

Yeah and the whole coffee craze and ******* s**t like that.. when I line up for one.. all I hear is.. oh I'll have a skinny latte.. ohhhh I'll have a 1/4 strength decaffinated caf caf cap oh look how beautiful that love heart shaped frof looks and that re God you make some beautiful coffee.. I'm like *en just get the * out of my way.. just make me a double turtsko you campaigners before I *en throw up and *en s**t like that mate..

There's nothing wrong with just your standard Macas order. You could always complain about it not being fresh.. throw the pickle out.. eat half of it.. and go in and get a fresh burger.. I always do it and that re.

Like I waltz in to Macas with it re.. and when I'm like 5-10 metres from the counter.. I'm like yelling.. what the fuuuuccccckkk is thisssssss re.. what the fuuuuuuck is thissssssss re.. burger in one hand.. and your other hand in the hastouki position re.. look all upset about it and s**t like that.. works a treat re.

I reckon the best way to use Macas pickles and that re.. is to slap em on your forehead.. and go.. heeyyyy look at me everyone.. I'm a pickle head.. I'm a pickle head.. hahahahaha.

Do seaguls eat pickles re?

Whenever I buy Macas and that re and I'm eating that s**t in the car park and that re.. the campaigners always surround my car.. can't eat my food in peace and that re.. if I threw out my pickles.. to try and roll em and that re.. will they get pissed off and fly over to the next car and that re?

The Gimp's famous pizza's.

Introducing the Gimp Special to BF for the 5th time..

Stuffed tomatoes for brecky this morning.. the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast mate.. that's it mate..

People often ask me about my recipes and s**t like that via PM.. I've gotta be honest.. my inbox is flooded with requests for my recipes and that re.. instead of spending f hrs replying to em all and that re thought I'd post my response here..

It's like with anything in life and that re.. you get a f table let's say with 100 screws and s**t like that and a step by step instruction booklet.. you don't f go from step 20 to 25 and s**t like that.. step by step re.. patience.. you'll get there. Then once you're done wit it sort of a thing.. then the next time you make it.. put your own spin on it..

The results speak for themselves.. Akis Petretzikis's pastitsio.. Gimp style mate.. that's it mate..

Glad to help..

Ok folks..

Just about to head down to my mates restaraunt at Oakleigh maul re.. he's got a s**t load of freezed marinated meats and calamari and s**t like that.. dips kai ala pramata he wants to offload cause he's closing shop soon.. the malaka goes.. bring your trailor re.. I go.. no worries re..

Wish me luck.

The Vue de Monde restaurant is my home away from home re..

If you go on a date there.. ditch the red tape and globe boots.. opt for something of the ted baker variety or some s**t like that.. get yourself an mj bale shirt.. they're really quite affordable online.. few squirts of creed aventus at David Jones.. and you're on your way.

I hate fish to be honest.. but was there with a date of mine.. so ordered the most expensive thing on the menu. Was good for raw crap I suppose. I don't mind oysters either.. but will never order that crap when I'm with mates or family.. just order that s**t when I'm with a date.. to give the imoression I'm cultured and wordly. Vlakies mate.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Neighbours - Wol and Edna

My neighbours Wol and Edna.. they play Farnsy Col Joye and Slim Dusty and s**t like that every *eeeennnn day maaan.. does my head *en head in man.. so I went over and asked em.. look guys.. I'm loving the music you guys listen to on a daily basis.. it's sick and that re.. do you mind if I borrow a few of your cds and that re.. be great to listen to that s**t at home or when I'm in my Gemi and that re.. they were like wow.. thanks for the compliment.. that's the nicest thing you've ever said to us.. I go.. yeah no worries re.. I'm striving to find more of that new covid normal in my life so that I can lock it in.. they were like.. oh that's beautiful.. and I was like.. thanks re.

Had to vent my frustration over the news today by calling out to Wally and Edna next door re.. dangled a homemade keftetha over the fence and told em you want some of this re.. you want some of this.. well then stop complaining about eating salad sandwiches every day and learn how to f cook mate.

If we lose this man.. I ******* swear.. I will piff a wog boiled Easter egg at Wallys fatsa re..

I have f had it.. that's it for me man.

I love experimenting with shower gels and s**t like that re.. gave the tingly mint and tea tree a crack for a laugh.

Man it's not pleasant at all.. even just popping the lid open made me wanna puke re.. but I gave it a crack anyway.

Imagine smelling like a cheap piece of mint all day.. its ****ed.

I convinced Wally next door to give it a crack.. I'm waiting for Edna now to crack the shits..

If this decision (Mason Cox appeal) is upheld.. imma use my next door neighbor Wally's credit card to buy a rare coles collectable for $10000.. and then listen to Edna go.. Wallllyyyyy what the * is this s**t for * sake!

I have ******* had it.. that's it for me.

If this decision is upheld.. I will sear a hole through Wally and Edna's garden hose through a lil gap in the fence using my souv skewer re.. then just sit tight and wait for Wally to say.. 'Hey Ednaaaa.. what the * have you done to the ******* hose for * sake!'

I have f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we *en lose this *en s**t man I *en swear man.. imma load up good ol' woll's recycling bin with a slabs worth of rogue stout stubbies re.. leave a few of the campaigners in his garage and that re.. so that when him and Edna go out to throw s**t in it.. they'd be like wtf.. or with a bit of luck Edna will suspect Woll was on the piss after finding a few sitting in the *en garage and *en crack it at him and that re.. be like *en music to my *en eeeaaars maaate..

I've *en had this s**t man.. I can't *en anymore.

Told Wally and Edna.. if the Crock Appleby and Magden are named in the side.. they can have my corp box ticks.. no point in eating a 5 star 3 course meal if I'm gonna regurgitate it and that re.. I've f had it.

If we f lose this man.. I f swear man.. I will hand Wally a $450 bottle of Creed Aventus so I can listen to him say.. 'what's this funny looking bottle.. hey Ednaaaa.. how much Lynx Africa do we have left luuuvv..oh 3 quarts... enough to last us the next coupla mths.. don't want it.'

I have f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we f lose this man.. I f swear man.. I will gurney Wally and Edna's front window at close range in the middle of the night when we're expecting a big downpour.. wake em up.. so that I can here Wally go.. 'hey Edna.. the rains are eeerrr'.. 'oh they're pretty heavy Edna I'll go and have a look'.. then turn the karcha off when he opens the door for a geeze.. followed by him scratching his cranium and going 'haaaa'. And 'what'. And 'Edna you'd never guess'.. then do it an hr later when they fall asleep again.

I have f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we f lose this man.. I f swear man.. I will poison wally's precious plants hes been watering with his hose daily for as long as I can remember cause he told me the other day to 'turn that bloody music down you idiot'.. when he comes out to find em brown up and s**t I'll just rest on my letter box and say 'hey Wally.. turn your hose off re.. I think you need some premium osmocote and some kopria or some s**t like.. the bloody weather re'.. then walk off and say 'who's the idiot now re'.

I have f had it man. That's it for me.

If we f lose this man.. I f swear man.. once every 6 mths I like to do the good neighbourly thingimagigy and give Wally and Edna my left over Greek cuisine or cook em a lil bit of a treat or whatever re.. I promised I'd cook em some koftes this weekend.. so I know they'll be looking forward to it all week.. I'll call out Hey Waallllssss you're koftes are ready re.. he'll come rushing out the back door.. and I'll wait for him to get in the middle of his backyard or thereabouts or some s**t like that.. and then I'll say.. you want your koftes Wall.. you want your koftes Wall.. here's your koftes reeee.. here's your koftes re.. then I'll start piffing em at him like f skirmish re.. then watch him run in screaming.. Edna! Edna.. as hes copping some nice keftedes to the fatsa re.

I have f had it man.. that's it for me man. F it re.

If we *en lose this *en s**t man.. I *en swear.. imma do a Wol and Edna from Mernda every time I go to the footy.. spend the entire game complaining about people swearing.. being too loud.. getting up off their seats to cheer.. whilst sipping on tomato soup poured out of a thermos.. eat half priced samboy chips.. whilst making sure everything was split *en 50/50 mate. You take one chip.. and I take one chip. You take one chip.. and I one chip.. heyyyy what's with the *en handful..

* this s**t man.. I have *en had it.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Spiro and Spiz

Was talking to my my mate *en Spiro right.. he asked me if we're going out clubbing tomorrow night and that re.. and I go *en oaf man and that re.. and then he asks me if I reckon it's a good idea if he takes his lighter with him and that.. to malaka re.. I go to him.. re malaka leave the lighter in your pocket if you wanna talk to someone you're attracted to.. and use it when you're not interested. Like he's not a fish ass or anything like that.. he buys his own Winnie Blues and that re.. but c'mon man.. do I have to spoon feed this idiot with tips every time we go out and that re sort of a thing. Fmd re. I still love the malaka re.. but c'mon man.. you're not an idiot and that re. This *en guy re.

This woke s*t.. it's en preposterous mate.. my mate Spiz and I went to the Oaks this week right.. Spiz was ripping a few donuts in the car park for a bit of fun and that and to show off a bit and that re.. en security all over him the next min right.. unbelievable right.. and he was like.. c'mon man.. just having a bit of fun and that re and you're **** up my chances of picking up and that re.. unbelievable right.. and he was like.. * re Gimp and that re.. what the * does one do and that re.. what re.. what.. you can only rip *en burnouts and do *en donuts and that at a nature park where there's no one around.. only wildlife and flaura and fauna and that re.. it's ok doing it on your own and that re.. but you want to show off your skills and that re and you want others to enjoy it as well.

My mate Spiz was telling me right.. how he went to the supermarket and that re.. and as he was like approaching the fridge.. he saw like a couple like right.. reaching right in towards the back of the fridge to get the latest.. and he goes * these guys right.. here's another chance to do my lil bit for the community.. so as he approached em he said.. reeeee vlakes.. what are you doing and that re.. get the milk towards the front of the fridge.. yeah.. the used by date ain't the latest and greatest and that re.. but you can't just reach in.. and risk touching all the other cartons.. just to get what yoooou want.. it's not all about yoooou you know.. he reckons they looked at him like stunned mullets.. a sign that they no doubt learnt their lesson. Spiz reckons he's had a bit of a strut in his step since.. cause he feels like he's done his lil bit for the community.

Mbravo re Spiz. Mbravo re Spiz.

My best mate Spiz was telling me the other day right.. one of his tenants.. was complaining about the dishwasher.. wasn't working properly and that re.. and that he wanted it either repaired or replaced.. so Spiz goes over to check it out.. the real estate agent arrives.. and the tenant.. a single parent right.. put on the biggest water works show he reckons and that re.. he was like.. ohhh I can't afford the rent I'm a single parent.. ohhh I'm struggling to put food on the table.. ohhh Spiz is privileged he owns rental properties.. oh Spiz wears Mossimo and I wear Mocos.. sooky la lad it and everyfing right.. and the real estate agent was looking at the tenant with a sympathetic look on her face.. then looked over at Spiz.. and Spiz remained as cool as a cucumber he reckons right.. he goes to the real estate agent.. what has the dishwasher got to do with all this s**t and that re.. the price of fish and all that sort of s**t re.. so Spiz walks over to the dishwasher.. opens the door.. and he was like.. what the * are all these peanuts doing in here re.. closes the door.. turns on the machine.. error 11 re.. turns around to the tenant and said.. I want a new dishwasher.. I don't want it repaired. The tenant was like but but but.. and Spiz was like.. but but but.. the plazas down the road re.. the real estate agent was like biting her lip.. didn't say a word.. tenant agreed to replace the dishwasher.. and the real estate agent asked Spiz out on date. Spiz was like.. you didn't have to ask me.. I knew you were gonna ask me anyways re.. you shoulda just asked for when's the best time to meet re. Ade. And just before he got his car.. he yelled out to her and said.. 'hey..... I never fall for the oldest trick in the book'.

Mbravo re Spiz. Mbravo re Spiz.

Levendopoulo.

Just texted my mate *en Spiro right.. when this *en 3 week lockdown or however long it's been started and that re.. I told him back then and that re.. the next time we're going out.. I'm wearing the Mossimo shirt.. he said.. no worries back then.. now the haivaini told that he wants to wear the same shirt tommorow night as well.. I *en lost it at him re.. I told him re.. what the * did you say 3 weeks ago.. we can't go out with the same *en shirt re.. we'll look like *en idiots man.. and besides mate.. I got an appointment to get my hair trimmed at *en Serge's man.. now I have to cancel my *en appointment.. cause you wanna wear the same *en shirt re.. wear the *en black one with the fluro orange Adidas emblem on it re.. still looks sick at the clubs and that re.. and he was still like.. nah.. I'm *en pissed man.. do I *en cancel my appointment with Serge.. or go get my trim and go out on my own and that re.. or call his cus Ari and go out with him re.. *en dilemmas mate. 3 weeks lockdown and now this s**t. Dog eat dog world re.

Lotta blood sweat and tears involved in buying a good quality shirt.. I can go to the Hugo Boss and Ted Baker factory outlets then make my way to Norfland's then Westfield.. and still can't find one to my liking.. I don't actually mind him wearing the same shirt.. wear it at family functions or when we're not out clubbing together and that re.. knock yourself out mate.. I don't mind putting in the hrs to find a good quality shirt.. like I'm still a good mate and that re.. I'll tell you where I got it and that re if you wanna go and buy one yourself.. that type of s**t and that re.. but he went behind my back and went and purchased the same shirt.. not only that.. he wants to argue about who's got right of way with it when we go out clubbing and that re.. tell me you wanna go and purchase the same shirt.. I've got no issue with that.. he wants to play these game.. ok.. we'll play these *en games mate.. can't wait to see the look on his face tonight.. gonna be priceless I reckon and that re. * him. That was a *en dog act mate.

Spoke to my mate Spiro a coupla days ago just to settle the tension between us about the Mossimo shirt and that re.. we both agreed that it's ok if we both wear Mossimo shirts when we go out.. as long they're both a different design and stuff like that.. the shirt that we've both got.. it's black right.. so you would all know.. after a few washes and that re.. the point of the collar wears out.. looks like you've washed the s**t like 30 or 40 times or whatever.. so even after 3 or 4 washes it looks like Op shop Brunswick St bound.. I'm playing the game re.. I went a *en purchased a new black Mossimo shirt for tonight.. and when I meet up with *en Spiro.. I'm gonna point out to him that his shirt looks like a 2nd hand job.. * him re.. he's the one that copied me and went out and got the same shirt as me without my knowledge.. so it will be on his conscience all night when he's trying to pick up and that re.. and I'll be looking mint in my brand new Mossimo shirt.. he's gonna lose the plot regardless when he sees me wear it anyway I reckon and that re.. latest in fashion and s**t like that.. it's my way of saying.. thanks for being a prick mate. That's it mate.

Just spoke to my mate Spiro.. his mum got her 2nd AZ jab.. and they thought they'd celebrate by going for a kebab.. the kebab shop was closed.. so they went to Maca's and she ordered a fillet of fish deal.. and he ordered a medium qrt pounder meal.. they then went to Northland's cause Spiro wanted to buy her a nice outfit from Harris Scarfe to celebrate the occasion.. but it was closed.. I go.. don't worry about it re.. take her next time it opens. Then they went home and had a celebratory coffee.

*en took the Gemi out for a spin today re.. *en flat tyre.. pissed me off.. so I was *en sitting there.. changing it and that re.. and my mate Spiro comes over out of the blue and that re.. and he goes.. * re.. did you get a flatty.. I go what do you reckon re malaka.. the other 3 just blew themselves up.. and he was like.. shut up re.. and I was like.. you shut up re.. go inside and make us a coff re.. and he was like * off re.. and I was like.. just go re.. and he was like.. allright re.. what do you want and that re.. and I go.. what do you think I want re.. a *en Nes re.. make us a couple of Turks re malaka.. and he was like allright re ffs and that re.. then by the time he had the coffees ready.. I had the tyre on.. then we had the coffees.. played some mitropanos and ntalaras tunes and that re.. at high volume.. gave the subbies a decent work out I *en tell ya mate.. was good s**t mate.. overall.. a bad day come good and that re.. that's what mates are for and that re. Share the good and bad times with ya.. and are there to support ya and that re.

Got a call from my mate Spiro re.. the malaka I swear re.. I lent him my gemi last night cause he went on a date with this beautiful Polish woman.. thought I'd help him out re.. *en polished the rims and everything re.. the car was looking mint re.. so he picks her up.. she was naturally impressed with the gemi and that re.. and everything was going well.. then what did he do re.. thought he'd throw on some farnsy cold chisel screaming jets and s**t like that to impress her.. show her what our music's all about and that re.. and she kinda just looked at him apparently.. and just said.. look.. I'm not feeling well.. can you take me back home.. and he said.. well ok.. I told the malaka a million times re.. you do that after 6 mths in to the relationship and that re.. not on the first date re.. play something that they're familiar with and that re.. bit of *en David guetta *en DJ bobo guru Josh some *en techno.. whatever and that re sort of a thing.. to malaka re.. I can't believe it re. I feel sorry for him and that re.. but *en hell re.. where's your marbles and that re. Unbelievable man.

I miss those *en days man.. *en head down to High St Thornbury for a souv and that re before going out and that re.. with me mate Spiro and his 1st cousin Manny who was always looked like a kmart job.. neat good Greek haircut.. so he always used to look weird at me and that re.. we'd *en line up for a souv and that re.. and the bloke would ask.. what are you having boyvez and that re.. and I was like.. gis a *en second man.. so I'd ask Spiro and Manny.. what the * ate you campaigners having and that re.. and they were like.. ummm and argggg.. and I was like.. c'mon * yas.. then they were like.. yeah we'll have a mix chicken and lamb souv.. and I was like.. shut up re.. go full on lamb re.. and they were like.. allr8ght and that re.. and I was like.. 3 lambs re.. then we'd sit outside.. launch into that s**t like animals.. kinda like competing to see who would down the campaigners first and that re.. and I would always win and that re.. and once we were all finished and that re.. we'd ask each other if we were *en greats and that re.. for a good 5 minutes.. and then we'd get into serious conversations like.. 'so where we going tonight and that re'.. and Spiro and Manny would say.. go here and there and that re.. and I was like.. shuuuut up re.. we're going here and that.. and they were like.. allright re.. allright re.. and I was like.. what's with the attitude and that re.. and they were like.. allright re soz and that re.. then I'd ask if my hair was looking allright.. and they were like.. yeah re.. and I was like.. I'm *en serious man.. and they were like.. it *en it is.. and I was like.. don't * with me re I'm *en serious and that re.. and they were like.. yessss re.. and I was like.. what's with the attitude re.. and they were like soz and that re.. and I was like.. ok re.. then we'd go out and go nuts on the scotch and cokes..

That's camaraderie right there re.

*en miss it re.. getting all emotional right now just thinking about it and that.. good times man.. good times.

Thanks for your PM's last night guys.. hoping I'd have a good night and that re.. and asking me to let youz know if I arrived home safely and that re.. all good..

Had an early night last night.. couldn't stand on my feet and that re.. went to Victoria Park.. Arden street.. then on to Marvel.. called my mate Spiro to see where he was at.. he was getting in to the half priced cocktails at Lumia re.. I go.. you *en dog re.. you *en dog re.. reee.. why didn't you wait for me and that re.. so went down to Lumia and ordered 4 cocktails at the bar cause there was only 10 minutes or whatever before they went to full.. spent a good half hr getting in to em.. so was feeling it a bit.. partied for a few hrs at Groove.. standard 10 scotch and cokes.. dancing on the spot.. looking left and right to see if I was getting looks.. like you're hot and that re.. so managed to pick up 3 times without having to do very much.. but couldn't do anything cause I was feeling stuffed and that re ended up getting home at 2 in the morning or whatever re. Before getting home I go to my mate Spiro.. why don't we try something new re.. try a lil more culturally diverse food after a night out and that re.. why is it always souvs kebabs and Macas and that re.. and he's like.. shut up re.. I go man I'm serious.. he's like.. shut up re.. I go why not dumplings instead of souvs and that.. he's like.. shut up re. I then go.. yeah I reckon you're right and that re. See you tomorrow and that.

That's it in a nutshell.. Was an ok night out I suppose and that re.

Standard re.

My mate Spiro went all woke on me a bit man.. he was telling me about his first experience as a woke individual.. he was at Norfland's right.. just before lockdown and that re.. he thought eh.. whilst I'm here.. I'll just pay for the excess on the mods on my ol' man's hand me down Falcon.. he ripped the tags off of it and everything man.. gave it a nice paint job and that.. buffed it.. got *en spoilers and splitters.. new 18inch rims.. a fluro diff.. subwoofers and an Alpine system.. he went *en full on man.. anyways.. sorry got carried away.. but it looks *en sick.. so happy for the campaigner man.. so he's walked in to the post office.. and he greeted the assistant with an.. ok.. what would you like me to call you.. Mr Mrs Ms It.. a symbol.. and the assistant went full on sick at him man.. what do you mean.. you taking the Mickey out of me and s**t like that.. and called the manager on him and everything man.. and the manager cracked it at him.. and Spiz said to the manager.. well your assistant said that I took the Mickey out of em I was trying to be polite by making sure I got their title mint man.. and another thing and that re.. Mickey Mouse is banned.. and they kicked him out.. called him a drongo.. and banned him from going again. I go Spiz re.. what do you wanna do wonder aimlessly like a grasshopper down Brunswick St and give up your Mossimo shirt re.. talk of Mossimo shirts was the circuit breaker his kefali needed.. and he was like.. * re.. let's go to Melissa re.

Sorry for my lack of posts the last coupla hrs re.. had an argument with one of my besties re.. he goes.. why the f don't you come out with us on Fri and Sat nights for dinner and s**t re.. I go.. I know you idiots well enough re.. wotta you think I'm gonna do sit in a corner at a restaurant like a moron when the club's are pumping. Unbelievable re.. some idiots need to grow up re.. double dipping re we talk enough s**t during the week what I'm gonna talk s**t again on a Fri night.

Anyways just had to let it out re.

Happy with the inclusions. Purposeful.

Keep the bear frothing a lil more I reckon..

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Love and dating

I had 4 concurrent girlfriends.. broke up with all of em cause I was in high demand on Tinder.. my ol man almost dishowned me for that as well re cause he used to brag about it to the relos re.. I almost dishowned him for him almost dishowning me re.. he was unaware I was going on 3-4 Tinder dates a week.. some nights I'd have 2 and that re.

My ex girlfriend lived in East Brunswick. She used to foster cats. Dunno bout 30 she reckons she did and that re.. she started treating me like a fostered cat that needed help and that re.. so I left.

Went to training with Spiro today.. but we got stuck in the bar and that re.. downing pints and that re.. had every intention of coming out to watch the lads train.. but got talking with the waitress.. I go I used to own a winery in Burgundy in France and that re.. yes I am a connoisseur of it and that re.. made a s**t load of gorillas out of it.. then I went on to study method acting at the University of France.. and now I'm back in Australia.. then Spiro the jealous f tried to the f me up by saying no he didn't.. to malaka re.. too many of em around re.. next time I'm going to training on me own mate.

Spare a thought for the gimp re.. cafes restaraunts bars are gonna shut shop.. so they'll be a spike in numbers on Tinder.. I'm not a machine re.. I'm gonna have to stock up on the horny goat weed mate.

Met Bernadette for the first time my next door neighbor last night whilst I was sipping on my chards out on the balcony and that re.. she goes.. oh you're the new neighbor.. I go.. yes re doin well and that re.. she goes.. definitely.. then she goes.. beautiful sunset.. I go yep.. reminds me of Rome when the sun hits the buildings in the afternoon. She then goes.. hmmmmm.. it does too.

I get a knock on my door this morning re.. Bernadette.. she goes.. I made you a nice yummy cookie.. if you want some more.. more than happy to make you some hun.. I go.. no worries re..

Even in isolation.. I'm still a playboy.. can't escape it re.. just gotta go with it I suppose.

I think I'll stick to self isolating at the moment.. just had a bit of flirt banter session her re.. swimming in my pool.. and she was dancing on her balcony.. so I decided to put on the Greek charm and that re.. so I said.. when you dance.. the dolphins are jealous and that re.. she was like wow.. nice of you to say that.. I go.. no worries re.. she then goes.. are you Spanish.. i go yeah you can kinda say that I was born near the region and that re.. could teach you how to dance the Paso later if you like.. she then goes.. that would be lovely.. so yeah.

Can't believe I'm telling my life story on here re. My goodness.

I've done a 15 day trek into the Hindu Kush.. initially I thought go there to pick up and that re.. then it turned into some sort of pilgrimage.. discovered the beauty of mountains and different types of foods and s**t like that.. really quite surprised by it all and that re.

Thanks to Tinder been to Ballarat.. Wangaratta.. all over Victoria re.. nice long drives exploring the country side and that re.. the scenery has been quite beautiful in some parts.

My ex used to live in East Brunswick.. she took me out for breakfast down Lygon.. some old abandoned warehouse converted into a restaraunt.. some vlakia like that.. so I'm sitting at the table.. one of the first ones in there.. there was like 30-40 tables in this joint so was fairly big.. and I'm looking at the menu.. in my head I'm thinking.. wtf is this s**t.. fried tomatoes kai pancakes and s**t like that.. so I order that.. cause the list was a malakia anyhow.. this couple sits next to us.. like there's so many tables in this joint.. like f go sit f elsewhere you noobs.. but they sat there and perved and commented on how great the tomato looked and s**t.. I was like.. Rosey.. wtf is this s**t.. she was like.. behave will you.. and button up your shirt.. and sit up straight.. you're making a scene.. that was the beginning of the end of the relationship.

Spoke to my mate Spiro last night.. I go I asked Bernadette my next door neighbor in Mt Martha to be my girlfriend and that she accepted.. and he en looosst it re.. he goes what about the promise we made to work together at the clubs and that re.. I go.. well ****** hell re Spiro what the * do you want me to do re.. they can't resist to lose the urge to lose themselves to the debonair one.. he then goes.. what the * are you talking about speak English you malaka.. he then goes what about the half priced tyres and s*t like that i got you from my first cousin Ari at Bob Jane.. you're a ****** rat re..

What the * do I do now.. feels like I've let him down and that re..

In an open relationship with Bernadette.. looked over to the south east side of the property whilst I was doing my stretches with a cute duck face in front of the mirror and that re.. and there's Florence.. asking me if I was Spanish and that re.. I said yes re.. she then goes.. hmmmmmm where did you come from.. my Spanish butterfly.. I'm like.. yeah no worries re take it easy mate control yourself and that re.

Don't know if I'm a player or not but just asked the question to both Bernadette and Florence.. if they were interested in a serious open relationship up until the 1st day of summer when the tourists arrive and that re..

Like just this morning.. I get up *en early to stretch in front of the mirror and make myself a cof and scoff down some hot Hungarian salami and that mate.. and my partners Bernadette and Flo woke up and asked me.. oh what are you drinking.. I said a double turk.. they were like.. mmmmm a real man..

Can't say that in public these days cause someone might take offence to the whole well what is a 'real man' s**t mate or get all East Brunswick on ya and not take offence to it but make a big issue out of to impress their mates and that re. Can only say that in privacy of your own home mate. Now that I'm saying that on here re.. I actually feel like I have to cover my tracks by saying.. hey.. I didn't say that mate.. it was Bern and Flo mate.

Sorry for my lack of posts taday.. busy organising my Tinder date and that re.. meeting for a ummmm.. aghhhh.. ummmmm.. a coffee.. then I've organized to travel up to Mt Martha to retrieve my toothbrushes from Florence's and Bernadette's..

Should be fun just to get out and about again I suppose and that re.. get some normality back in my life mate.

Had a zoom sess with my long term French fwb.. plan on meeting in Venice next yr.. where we first met and that re.. had no intentions of falling in love and all that re.. went there primarily to skull as many expensive bottles of wine I could get my hands on and enjoy the nightlife and all that sort of s**t and that re.. wake up mid afternoon and enjoy as much of the scenery whilst recovering an hr or 2 before going at it again and that re.. one afternoon whilst I was sobering up and that re we crossed paths and our eyes locked.. it was destiny I reckon man. Asked her if she wanted to go eat some grub with me.. it was like an instant.. yesss yesss would love that.. so took her to a lovely restaurant.. ordered this beautiful cream puff looking thingimagigy with edible flower petals on it and that re.. we were just fixated on each other.. and she said what I thought was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in my life and that re.. she said.. this cream puff tastes like Spring.. I said.. darling...... we're friends for life not just a summer or a spring.. she thought it was the most romantic thing she's ever heard.. I thought it was as well out did hers by a lil bit and that re.
I plan to propose to Juliette the right way next yr when we meet again and that re.
Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to share my story of love.
Love conquers all.. in good.. and in bad.

Proposed to my FWB in France and she accepted. So walking with a spring in my step today and all jovial and s**t like that.. so she knows I'm in a coupla long term open relationships.. which is good. Nice when you're honest and all that sort of stuff re. Cornerstone of any good relationship I suppose. I go to Hairhouse Warehouse today and that re.. and a couple of the sales reps socially distanced me their numbers as well.. real test for me after the covid lockdown has been lifted to see if I can resist the temptation to hop on to the Tinder bandwagon and go on dates with the likes of sales reps and all that re..

Real test for me to see if I'm at that stage in my life where I wanna settle down and that re. So I'm excited at the proposition of seeing where it goes..

You can still make good things happen during covid lockdowns.. grow as a person and that re. Mindset coach yourself.. no need to pay an 'expert' a gorilla with a 4 hr online 'certificate of participation' to get it right.

Wish me luck.

I love everyone.

When I go to bars and clubs with my mates Spiz and Ari and that.. I use a lot of BF terminology phrases terms and words or whatever you call em and that re to pick up and that re.. like.. I'll sit at a bar or whatever.. chatting to someone and that re.. with a nice cocktail or whatever re.. and say.. 'oh that's so faux'.. followed by a bit of a laugh and that re.. or 'can we change the narrative'. My mates Spiz and Ari are like.. what are you talking about re.. what's this s**t and that re.. faux and narratives and that re.. are you allright and that re.. and I'm like.. shut up re.. eloquence and sophistication is not only in a Mossimo shirt re.. or in making sure your Gemi is always in mint condition for Chap lapping it re.. it's about fine tuning your skills and that re.. it works and that re.. and they're like shut up re.. and I'm like.. yeah allright re.. results.. they're the ones still trying to pick up on the dancefloor and that at the end of the night and that re..

Is that greatness or what re.. it's those lil 1/8 1/4 1/2%ers that can make a difference in the end.

Live love laugh learn improve etc etc..

Just wanted to take the time to apologize for my lack of posts last night.

Cooked some of my award winning dishes for Bernadette.. she also wanted me to teach her how to dance the Paso Doble.. when I got in full Spanish uniform.. cause I don't do half assed s**t and that re.. that was the end of that lesson.. let's just say she found it somewhat attractive.. if ya know what I *en mean and all that and that re.

Wish I wasn't treated like a piece of meat.. under my ruggedly handsome and tough exterior.. there's an advanced Paso dancer and that re.. I'm a human being to ffs.

Just unmatched a couple of potential Tinder dates for after lockdown.. one said she was going to Woolworth's with her 15c bag.. and the other I was discussing music and that with her and that re.. and she said 'look at the way he sounds'.

Is that a good or a bad thing.. or should I allow for a bit of leeway and that re?

Reminds me off Spiro and I when we used to go out clubbing and that re.. Spiro is not a bad looking bloke.. like a 7/10.. so above avg you'd say.. but I used to get all the attention cause I'm like a 9.5/10 looks wise and an 11/10 charisma and intellect wise.. a supernova elite winning combo mate.. used to piss him off and that re.. kati arguments we used to get in to.. so I basically devised a plan where he wouldn't get pissed off as much and stuff like that and that re.. like say in a crowded bar like Garden State.. I'd purposely go out for a dart opposite end of the bar.. and Spiro would go and buy drinks.. gave me a good 10 min window of opportunity to exchange numbers with a couple of the girls that were interested in a date later that night.. so by the time Spiro got back with the scotch and cokes and that re.. it would look like nothing had happened and that re.. if he found out about it now.. oh kalaaaaa re.. kati fireworks and that mate sort of a thing and that re.

I'd probably walk into the dew drop inn like *en james dean.. 2 tables waiting for the great man to arrive.. then tell yas to * off.. and walk back out again.. I learnt my lesson when Spiro told his 1st and 2nd cousins to come along to watch the pick up artist in action.. couldn't talk to anyone in the bar.. cause the campaigners were up my ass.. waiting for me to * it all up not necessarily waiting for tips and s**t like that.. out of jealousy more like it.. try and move around the bar when you can't even turn around and s**t like that with one of Spiros wog cousins in your face watching your every move.. so * that re.. go summon up the courage to do it yourselves re..

I'll only join yas on a Sun to Thurs when the crowds are more subdued and stuff like that and that re.. Fri-Sat is reserved for picking up when the clubs are really pumpin man.

Q:Were the Italian ladies fans of a bit of stand still dancing?

I suppose so.. as long as you look the goods.. have good fashion sense and good male grooming.. hair and beard and that sort of a thing.

It's not necessarily a prerequisite.. but If you can move on the dancefloor.. it does help and that re.

I live a polyamorous lifestyle. I've always asked my mate Spiro if I could date his partners. And his he was like.. shut up re.. at first.. then he agreed to it.. after I said it was ok to date mine or whatever re. That s**t is ok. You don't ever go behind your mates back and do that. You lose your integrity if you're gonna go about it like that.. and that re.. sort of a thing. It's always important to ask the question first.

Didn't tell yas about the Tinder date I went on in East Brunswick re.. she had her masters in human rights.. I thought cool re.. I don't mind the odd d&m and that re about world issues and that re.. environment equality animal rights and all that and that re.. so parked the Gemi just outside the venue.. and got a table close to the entrance so I can see the Gemi in different shades of light as the day went along and that re.. so she arrived.. and I go what do you want to drink man.. and she goes.. some craft guilt free vegan mountain beer.. can't remember the name of it.. some weird s**t.. I had my standard scotch and coke.. and she goes.. you're not going to drink that are you.. I go yeah what man.. and she was like like okaaayyy.. so we started chatting about world issues and that re.. she got in to some really good detail about s**t and I was like that's good.. and that's mad.. and that's sick.. and that re.. and she was like what do you mean.. and I was like.. it's sick and that man.. and she was like excuse me.. and I go what man.. and then she just paused and looked at me for a while.. and said.. look.. I've got to go.. it was nice meeting you.. and I go.. no worries re.. so she left.. and I was like.. she probably thought I was out of her league or something.. how else do you explain it.. so I just sat there for the next coupla hrs.. checking out the Gemi.. as the sun started to set.. it was just really beautiful to watch.

Anyway.. thought I'd share another one of my stories again.

Thanks for listening guys.

Went for a date down Eaton Mall last night re.. ordered a meat and chicken platter 50 bucks or whatever re.. scoffed it down like in 45 minutes or thereabouts.. then went a coupla shops down at the cafenio to meet my date for a coffee.. being the gentleman that I am.. I offered to pay the 9 bucks or whatever it was for both of us.. we were just talking about life and that re having d&ms and this and that.. and I go.. yeah no worries yep I agree.. yeah you're right and that re.. oh that's interesting.. so contributing to the conversation.. and she was like.. okaaayyy.. sort of a thing.. so going really well.. then I go can I show you one of my favourite clothing stores.. she goes.. okaaayyy.. sort of a thing.. so we went to dimitris soccer shop.. and I was showing her all the latest paok gear I've got.. and I was like Dimitriiiiii.. when are the away tops coming iiiiiin reeeee.. and he was like in 2 mths levendi.. so I looked over at her.. then back at Dimitri.. and told him.. put my name down for 2 of em and that.. and I asked her what her size was.. nice romantic gesture I thought.. and she was like.. look that's fine.. I appreciate the gesture.. thought it was nice of her to say that.. like she didn't want to take advantage of me and that re.. then I showed her this Kappa tracksuit.. and how I told my mate Ari that I was gonna get it.. and how he got jealous.. and how he went in and got it before I did.. and how I had a big argument with him for doing that.. and how it was a dog act and that re.. then she just paused for a while looked at me sort of a thing.. like stunned at how my mates could do something like that.. and then she thanked me for a lovely date and said.. don't call me I'll call you. Loved that.. she was probably thinking.. what happens if he doesn't call me and that re.. so I'll make sure I'll call him. *en sick man.. think this has the potential for love cause there was a real nice connection between the 2 of us.. on the same wavelength and that re.. so rapped..

Sorry for blurting it out again.. but just excited.

Thanks for listening guys.

You guys are greats re.

Take it easy folks..

BF is not my life.. it's not my serious open relationship gfs.. or my Tinder dates. It's just a past time. 95% of the time after a week or so on here.. I'm teetering on the edge of cancelling my act.. bit like *en playing table tennis.. or *en game of *en billiards or whatever re.. you can only play it for so long before you want to take a break. It's after a week or so when it becomes the same ol' for me.. it gets to the point where you log on out of habbit.

This time around I was in the process of breaking up with Flo and Bernadette for a week.. so I can nominate one of my 100+ Tinder matches over for a coffee and all that sort of stuff and that re.. Flo and Bernadette were upset.. they only wanted to break up for a day max and that re.. was hard to convince em that a week is a more viable proposition.. then there's narrowing down my matches to get to the one. Was going to nominate Samantha my other neighbour.. but we've decided to get together at stage 3.. a sure thang and that re. So hard work folks..

BF would have been somewhat of a distraction.. and blokes are not great at multitasking.. 'supposedly' and all that sort of stuff and that re.

My ex Rosie used to be a vegan re.. she sent me out to get a vegan pizza for her.. and I had my standard with the lot.. so I've gone back to her joint with 1 family sized pizza.. grabbed me 8 slices and that re.. and handed her the box and that.. and she goes.. where the *s my pizza.. and I go.. you want me to cut the box for you in to 8 pieces and that.. she fuuuuccccckkken craaaaacked it re.. and I go.. what man. *en hell re. No one's ever satisfied no matter the effort you put in for em and that re.

You can't move at these types of venues re.. if you've been to the Groove Bar at the Cas and that re.. all the blokes are statuesque like standing on the perimeter of the dance floor waiting for you to * up and that re cause it gives em something to talk about re.. like they can go home with an inflated sense of self worth and that.. like erghhhhh look at his dance moves and that.. like erghhhh I reckon he's got no chance with her and that re.. it's like they haven't been out for yrs and that re.. not my thing.. and I couldn't be bothered being the centre on everyone's attraction and that re.. so I just mimicked the crowd.. and managed to get a lazy 3 numbers. I suppose that's ok and that re sort of a thing.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Music

Was having a en zoom sess with the en Ot man.. and we got on to the topic of what song best describes your relationship with the Pies and that re.. and I thought sweet.. maybe we can get into a bit of s*t like acdc def leppard screaming jets foreigner and s*t like that.. then he really surprised me and that re.. like en stood on his bed and that re in his like 2 sizes too small jelly bean printed onzie.. and then to my surprise he en chucked on kati Perry's in and out.. you know that en track.. you're in and your out.. its black and its white.. we fight we break up.. we kiss we make up.. some s*t like that.. and he was going en full on sick man.. pumping his arms and fists and s*t faster than the pistons in my * gemi mate.. I kid you not man.. like en dead set man..like * full on working up a sweat and s**t man.. I didn't wanna say anything to him and that re..I was like yeah man.. that's pretty *en cool man.. Goodddd! Anyhow.. each to their own I suppose and that re.. but grrrrrrr.. like *en errrrrr man.

If we f lose this.. I f swear man.. I'll listen to the cranberries - dreams on repeat.. just that part of the track we're shes going la laaaaa la la la la la la laaa la la la la laaaa laaaa.. f hell re what the f is that s**t re..

Who listens to this s**t re..

I have f had it man.. that is it for me

One positive to come out of covid.. Guy Sebastian has returned from a recording studio in LA.. so he's 48th album has been put on hold.

(Best songs – one per artist)

Beatles: Yesterday/Let it be
Lennon: no idea.
Springstein: I'm on fire
Dylan: Hurricane
Marley: Is this love.

No one can play Hendrix.. people have tried.. but how can they feel what he felt at the time.. from top to toe.. everything he had.. everyone's original really.. but to just let it rip like he did.. it was you're watching an out of body experience. It's just rare. Not Guy Sebastian s**t re.

Like just the other day I get a PM from the Walt.. confessed to me his love of rnb and that re.. then he asked me if I had any rnb tracks on my playlist and that re.. I was like ummmm no sorry mate. Then he quickly turns it around by asking me how good is thin lizzys track 'the boys are back in town'..

I was like.. c'mon man.. you were doing well up until the very end.

Now is that good or is it wack?

‘Waterloo’s’ a *en great track man.. my favourite.

Just got back from dinner. It's horrible out there.. can't mingle.. can't do s**t re.

Might have a marathon Abba session.. learn some more *en 'on the spot' dance moves to add to my Rick Astley 'Never gonna give you up' moves and that re sort of a thing.. ready for partying and that for next weekend and that when the bars and clubs are happenin' again.

Well here's hoping anyway.. hahaha.. oh God!

What's everyone's least favourite Abba track re?

They're all *en great re.. I'm *en struggling to find a s**t one I reckon and that.

If anyone is looking for late minute Christmas gifts happy to give yaz a signed copy of the best of 'Dennis Walter - Carols by Candelight' dvd.

Was scoffing down a $12 pot and parma at the local RSL and much to my surprise.. Dennis Walter appeared and started performing there re.. managed to pick up a few copies for free.. which was good. That unique baratone voice of his re.. 50 shades of sexy re.

Had a chat with him.. nice guy.. I go 'you're a f greeeeat re.. you're the Tony Bennett of Australia re'.. he goes that's nice of you to say that'.. I go.. 'yeah no worries re.'

I think the Walt the Ot and the *en Nid are a bit like me man.. Get *en dire straights back on the mainstream man.. your latest trick.. lyrics don't do it for ya.. listen to that *en saxxxxxx re.. *en sick man. Sax doesn't do it for ya. Change the station man.

Take the good with the bad re.. let's not all get Brunswick st about it.

If it means I have to listen to lady gaga and what's his face re.. the bloke from the hungover.. sing that shallow track ever again.. it would be in return for an injury free pre season.

How many f times do they have to play that s**t on the radio re.. always my f luck that they normally play that s**t when I have my Tinder date in the passenger seat saying.. leave it on leave it on.. I'm like I cant get enough of this track as well re.. it's awesome. When all I wanna do is like baaagghhhhhh all over the f windscreen re. Unfbelievable re.. unfbelievable.

I have f had it.. that's it for me man.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Apologies and PMs

Apologies and Pm’s

I've just accepted the 76W's apology via PM.

I rest my case.

All good folks.

Carry on..

Just received a PM from Jmac70 apologizing for his behaviour tonight.

Ok lads carry on it's all ok now.

Just spoke to The Ot via PM and that re.. and he ******* reckons man.. well he just *en reckons mate.. hahaha. Oh God.

How's everyone f gooooing re?

You guys are f greats re.

Just got a pm from the Nid.. he started putting his vegemite in the fridge.. and he reckons it tastes better. He thanked me for it.

Just got a pm from the Walt re.. he thanked me for inspiring him to write that beautiful piece of art work re.. I said no problem re.. it didn't come from me.. it came from you.

Just spoke to the Ot via pm and that re.. plan on spending a day with him in Turkey before I head back home to Greece.. go to the beach and get pissed at the clubs and that re.. but we'll probably end up *en going nuts watching *en Gurkan Ozkan and Stan 'the man' Longinides kickboxing tourns all day I reckon and that re..

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Players

There's not one day that goes by where we don't inadvertently break the law.. speeding is one of those.. go and self report yourselves to the police.. or report your mates for travelling over the limit. Use the Stepho case as an example. What a joke!

Stephenson is not a problem gambler.. hes an idiot for doing it for cheap thrills. Inadvertently broke the rules.

A good ol blasting from me.. and don't wanna see you do it again.

That's how I would have approached it.

Stephenson to bag 5 sausage rolls.

He's so cool.. he can sit in a room with just 4 walls and listen to Womack and Womack's 'Teardrops' on repeat for 24 hrs.. and walk out with a smile on his face. Where as most would launch there boot through the wall after 15 minutes. I'd probably do it after I hear the first tune. Credit to him re.

He always finds a way. Must have been those Contiki tours as well re.

He's gonna be one of the greats.

Apparently Dew has told one of his players to take the week off.. 'go and get shitfaced.. visit the family.. you've got the Crock.. see you Sunday at 12'.

I look at it this way..

I think we're better than Richmond.. but there's still quite a bit of confusion.. kinda say.. in-house fighting between the players as to who the generals really are.

We're like a f boy band where everyone looks like they wanna take over the lead vocals.

Can't put the blame on Crisp for those clangers.. it's like taking a homebody who hasn't ventured out to a nightclub for the last 10 yrs.. throwing him in there.. and expecting him to perform.

The box got it all wrong.

Not vintage.. but I f love this photo.

One of my favourites. Never forget it.

What I know is this.. it's so easy to judge a person like Millane based on what you read and see out there I suppose.. to understand his behaviour is an entirely different thing all together re.. what is it re.. possitive distinctiveness self worth and esteem that drove him to play good footy.. did that translate into bar room brawling off the pitch as well re?

Possibly..

Judging by what I've seen there's elements of how he went about his football in his social life as well. Good or bad thing.. I suppose both re. He was the gamma of a lot of things. Loveable yet complex.

(Noble) Fit and available.. with others sitting out due to injury.. others who have yet to play a game.. he's an obvious choice to play.. but I don't think he's good enough.

I think the ground swallows him up in the open.. his only refuge is dishing it off in close quarters. Lacks the presence of a Crisp or a Maynard.. he's half the player.

Lacks conviction out in the open. Almost looks like he's looking to be nurtured.. take 2 or 3 steps clearly.. then he's all at sea.. like there's a panic brain switch that goes off.. overawed by the space.. the grass.. the crowd.. dunno.. just doesn't have it.

Trade bait or a delisting for mine.

(Trade for Tom Lynch) Allow him to go through the front door at the Westpac Foster's Centre or whatever it's called now.. have him look at the premiership cups on the way through.. through some corridors lined with Swarovski crystal down lights.. until he reaches the big man's office.. knock knock.. opens the door.. See ed with an open cheque book.. and 4 sponsors handing him envelopes..

That's what will happen re..

Aish's skills are uncanny. He's excellent when he settles.. and he can be very damaging when running through the guts.. when he gets on a roll with games etc.. the bloke can do some serious damage.. has a higher ceiling than most think. He's errors are exacerbated by his awkwardness. You can see out there.. the bloke is like a sponge.. just wants to learn and get better. Not there for the free ride.

It's time to invest in shutters for my plasmas with auto Crock and Appleby detectors.. otherwise.. I'm gonna totally f lose it re.

Reid turns like the titanic 1000 miles under the ocean

I swear man.. if Isaac Quanor is not training with the main group and they don't get him ready for round 1 I will go down to Whittlesea and build more units and deal with idiots in their fake kmart surf tees at there one and only coffee shop staring at me like Tom Cruise has arrived in town or some s**t like that.. that's it for me man.. I've had it up to my eyeballs with this s**t man.

If we don't delist Blair and sign Langdon tommorow I swear man.. I will give up Topolinos pizza and croquet and opt for IGA pizzas you can only launch into after opening your fridge and adding whatever extra topping you could find to make em taste half devent.. look for an old discarded broom handle and a piece of wood to stick at the end of it and play backyard golf with it having milk cartons as obsticles and having Wally and Edna next door scream out 'will you stop hitting the damn golf ball against the fence you f imbecile'.. that is it for f me man.. I have f had it!

Go with the flow? Like who's chilled and that re.. I reckon De Goey.. the way he goes about it looks like he's shelling peas and that re. Pendlebury is another one.. super chilled.. doesn't get into scuffles and that re.. Roylce Royce re or however the f you spell it and that re.

If we don't pick up Georgiades.. I will not be renewing my membership.. simple as that.

He's obviously very talented.

One thing that strikes me about him.. he has that easy going friendly type of personality. Would invite anyone in. Will be well liked by all players.. officials.. staff and supporters. Throw that in with his tenacity for the contest as a footballer.

Overall.. just has a lot of everything you like as a person and as a footballer.

He's a winner.

Q: Who was the last Greek to play for the Pies? Athas Hrysoulakis? How did that turn out?

No.. Patrick Karnezis.. a hell of a lot worse than Hrysoulakis. Both vying for a position in the worst Pies team of the millennium. Given we've only had a few Greeks play for the Pies over the yrs.. that's a mighty effort pro rata re..

The players have lost their identity.. remember back in the day.. watching the likes of Swan Didak Cloke Thomas Pendlebury Beams Davis Shaw Lumumba well the entire team.. it was like we knew them like they were a part of the family.. sitting at the footy.. you just knew what each one of them was going to do well before they received the pill.. clearly defined roles.. personality.... individuals.. somewhat of a hierarchy.. consistency week after week. They all complemented each other nicely.

Now I couldn't tell you who is who out there.

Elliot would barely scrape into the top 100 midfielders in the league.. take out Cameron.. you can argue that Elliot is the best small forward in the league. Devastatingly good.. and besides.. I think if you place most forwards in the midfield they'll do a reasonable job.. that anticipation when the pills going forward and Elliot is on the move.. one of the best feelings I have watching us play.

He is a see pill get pill kick the sausage roll type of player.. that's where he's at his best. I'd tinker with a lot of other things at Collingwood.. definitely not this one.

Grundy is part of the make up of this side.. so there's no real sense in saying 'we'd be potentially sitting outside the 8 without him'.. no different to saying 'without the worlds best politician'.. 'without the best head of hair'.. 'without the best friend ever'.. etc etc re. If you have it.. you're blessed.. it's what makes you successful.. you can not strip a side down to nothing. You can not say without Maradona re..

History has proven time and time again.. that if you have someone special.. a bloke who dominates others completely.. you're well on your way re..

Carlton is an exception to the rule though re..

Just remember..

For overall team cohesion.. Grundy needs to step back a bit.. and allow others in with more pace and skill.. he's kicked some great goals over the yrs.. we can use him more as a weapon.. one thing to follow up your ruck work with your head down.. another thing to lift your cranium up and have a look around ya.. size it all up.. and get in those spots that can cause a lot of damage...

One thing that I love about Treloar is his belief.

Watched him in several chats to the media.. he always mentions that 'we can match it with anyone'.

I love that s**t re.. f why not!

If you believe in yourself.. you cancel out those who don't. And you're left with a select few who do. That belief will eventually yield a premiership.

You make the final table of the WSOP and fear creeps into your game.. you don't stand a chance.. you make the final table.. f go for it re.. play your opponents.. prey on their fears and insecurities. And you'll come close to either winning it.. or taking it out re.

If you lose you lose re.. but you're playing to win.. and you did it without fear.. so there's no reason to be upset about it.

De Goey will not leave Collingwood.

Snowflakes chance in hell.

Mateship is the most important thing to him.. the rest of the s**t he'll just leave to his manager to sort out.. and when the time is right.. he'll just say.. hand it over re.. where do I sign.

(De Goey 2019) Leads by example on the pitch.. never drops his head.. not a dirty player.. doesn't parade around like an idiot on the pitch.. well liked.. opposition players respects him.. pretty good presence when dealing with the media.. charismatic.. inspiring.. doesn't get flustered.

I don't see why he can't be captain one day.

Am I the only one that likes Josh Thomas.. he reminds me of Freddy Ljunberg back in the Arsenal Pigs Arsene Wenger days re.. couldn't dribble past a wheelie bin.. but had pace and great timing.. you take him for granted.. he'll put you away.. unfortunately we haven't seen the best JT lately.. simply not suited to Buckley's park the bus game plan.. open it up.. freewheel it re.. and we'll get our 2018 JT back mate.

Who's that long haired Brunswick St looking dickhead in their back half that keeps turning it over? I ******* love ya re.. what a kreas

Bob Murphy with his try hard Confucius quotes.. would do well sitting at a cafe down Brunswick St sipping on some organic tea that tastes like wastage. He must look back and cringe at his premiership speech. Life coaches and quote spinning Brunswick St types.. they're f greats re

Good to see Buckley take note of where I want Big Mason Cox to play.. up around the 50 and pushing up the wings..

Epitelos re. If Cox continues to play there.. and we win..I will remind you of how good I am post match.. you can bet your house on that..

I'm envious of some of the stylish haircuts out there tonight.. I've got a new covid normal Spangher type of hairstyle at the moment. For *s sake

Out: Noble
In: Me mate.. that's it mate.

We don't want someone in that posi that's a choir boy re.. silver spooned to kick it left and right.. doesnt challenge the coach.. doesn't get in there and that re.

I'm 181.5 cms. Used to go and watch Stan the Man Longinides with the ol man when I was like 7 or whatever go nuts on campaigners with his sick half crescent roundhouse moon kicks and that at festival hall and the Atheniam Theatre or whatever it was called back that and that re.

Inspired me to get into zen do kai and that.. so started up when I was *en 8.. and the sensei was preaching to us about life and vlakies like that.. you know the.. circle of life.. *en ancestry.. zen.. sort of a thing and that re.. quoting bruce lee like a finger pointing away to the moon.. that sort of stuff.. then we got into sparring.. play fighting and that re.. and I had him as a partner.. and it was like he didn't expect it and that re.. but I gave him the best *en half crescent roundhouse moon kick to the fatsa mate.. and he fell down like a sack of spuds or whatever re.. and I go to him.. how do you like that finger pointing away to the moon now re.. ha......... ha.. and he was like.. wow.. and I go stop talking s**t and get on with it and that re.. he then goes.. how did you know I was talking s**t.. and I was like.. Ade. After that he only talked s**t to the other students.. and I was the only one to get my 6th dan.

Moral of the story is.. don't preach to the players.. don't micromanage em and that re.. let nature take its course if you want to get the best out of em and that.. the name the number the club.. it comes from them.. not you or anyone else.. and I did watch karate kid like 250 times as a kid and that re.. and it was all about Daniel San.. not Miyagi.

Am I a great or what re?

On De Goey (and inappropriate touching)

I played soccer for 17 yrs.. and I can tell you now.. can't count how many times we'd walk past each other at training and that re.. and flick each other in the nars nasties re.. standard response would be.. oh * re you.. you got me a beauty.. you owe me a beer for that you dog re.. I'm going out tonight you idiot.. and that re sort of a thing and and that re.. then we'd just laugh it off and that..

We're making a mountain out of a vlakia re.

This is where all these high moral ground try hard lefties are getting it all wrong and that re.. let's use geometry and Pythagoras to solve the mystery of De Goey.. let's take the square root of 5 to 1 and that as an eg right.. what is that re.. an irrational number right.. ok.. what does that actually mean.. it means no number however long and that can precisely determine its value or come up with a pattern in its decimal places right.. therefoooore.. the gaps between the limits of knowledge and the mysteries of nature is *en forget about it re.. that s**t goes on and on right.. so it's one thing to judge the Goo.. it's another thing to be able to grasp the limits of our imaginations with that of the universe.. solution.. try and understand him a lot more.. understand.. don't judge.. you judge.. you're square.. you tryyy and understand.. you think outside the square.. and the mystery of De Goey is solved.. well almost.. close enough.. it's one thing calling him a dickhead.. it's another thing trying to understand him a lot more.. and getting the best out of him without really knowing anything at all.. limits are.. well..... there are no limits.

Play/sign De Goey > Woke movement.

That's greatness re.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

The Madge

It's great that he's got a head like that.. can concentrate on his footy.

If the Madge plays in round 1.. imma replace 're' with 'Mr Speaker' for the entire season..

I have absolutely had it man.. I can't anymore.. I'm done.

If the Madge is not the next cab off the rank.. imma catch a cab to Sebastopol.. and crawl all the way back home in my g bangers mate..

I have absolutely had it man.. I can't anymore.. I'm done.

I'd be happy to play the Madge up forward for a qrt.. he can snag one.. we can retire him.. he can then have a few frames of himself in the billiard room.. of him playing against the big bud on 2 separate occasions.. a frame of himself snagging one with all the lads stacks on his back.. he can tell his grandkids he was a good player in his heyday. Just don't tell how many the bud snagged on ya re.. don't tell em it's the only snag ya kicked in your career.. and don't tell em you only played the 10 re.

I'm done man

The Madge not only needs a wide berth when changing direction and that re.. if he was hooning it doing skiddies and fishes and that re he'd go on forever until it's time to turn around and go back up the other way mate.. sick skiddies I reckon and that re.. but it's not what it's about.. don't expect the bloke to turn on a 5 cent piece and that re sort of a thing.. but for crying out loud mate.. work on it mate.. it's like watching the coyote getting rolled by the roadrunner mate.. a Falcon getting rolled by a Gemi mate.. forget about it mate.

I have absolutely had it man.. I cant anymore. I'm done.

If the Madge doesn't get delisted by the end of the working week.. imma edit my Tinder profile description to 'looking for marriage'.

I have absolutely had it man.. I'm done.

I was averaging 3 Tinder dates a week pre covid normal.. new covid normal 1 date avg over 3 mths.. if the Madge isn't delisted by the end of the working week.. imma persist with a 1 Tinder date avg over 3 mths in the post covid normal.

I have absolutely had it man.. I'm done. I can't anymore.

If you had invited me to a PowerPoint presentation on the Madge.. not only would I have asked for a prawn sandwich and a glass of wine before you started your presentation.. I would have charged you a gorilla for inviting me.. and then I would have left 30 secs in.. charged you for travel expenses.. opened your bar room cabinet.. and taken your best bottle of vino re.. and just left.

Nice try re..

You know there's no justice in this world when the Madge has played at the G in a Collingwood guernsey.

That's all the evidence you need.

Buckley picked the Madge at FF.. cause the position.. in a Buckley coached side.. is null and void.. never gets down there.. and if it does.. it's impossible to get your hands on the pill to snag a sausage roll anyhow. So why not place your worst at FF.

Thought it was a brilliant move by Buckley.. the Madge is our barometer re.

If we're showing the slightest symptoms.. we've been encouraged to go and get tested.. I can tell you now.. I've felt sick quite a few times watching the Madge trying to hit a 15 mtr target.. but how can I be 100% sure that feeling a lil Ill is not entirely attributed to the Madge launching the pill like its was a sack of suds re? Do I need to go and get tested?

Is there any way of making my Sansumg 85 incher.. auto switch off.. when the Madge is in 5 metres vicinity of the pill?

(Game day) Bianco's done a Madge

(Game day) If the Madge touches the pill this qrt.. imma launch my head through the screen.

I'm done man.. I can't anymore.

Thought spectators weren't allowed to touch the pill.. so Madge punches it. Unbelievable

Geelong are using the Madge to practice poll dancing re.

If the Madge touches the pill.. I'm going home.. oh *.. I'm already at home.. silly me.. hahahahaha.. Oh God.

If the Madge doesn't get dropped.. I will not be attending the game.

I've absolutely had it man. Enough is enough.

Don't understand why the Madge continues to get picked.. have I missed something or is this all part of our new covid normal?

The Madge needs to be sacked just before half time.

Fancy running through the guts.. looking up.. and seeing the Madge on the lead.. no wonder they moved the ball sideways.

I reckon Madge from neighbors would do a better job than our Madge.. so why not give her a crack.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

IF we lose this …….

IF we lose this …….

If we lose this man.. I f swear.. I will climb up a tree and start singing like a f kookaburra until they take me away. Kakakakaka kakakaka.. f it re.

I have f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we f lose this man.. I f swear man.. I'll try and figure out why folk chose to paint their kitchen tiles with expensive white knight products and risk f it up.. when it's actually a lot cheaper to buy tiles on sale from bunnings and use ready made adhesive to slap em on at a fraction of the cost.. and with a much better result.

These idiots on these budget reno shows allright or what? Unbelievable man.

I don't f get it man.. that's it for me.

If we f lose this man.. I f swear man.. I will tell me ol' man who has been promoting property investing since I was 8 yrs of age.. that I have been investing my dough in shares and futures and options and s**t like that for the last 15 yrs bc I understand the value of alternative streams of income and s**t after studying it at uni and as a road scholar for 8 yrs and that re.. explaining it to him.. then coping the biggest sfaliara of all time with pou sou gadouri.. and.. den sai ematha etsi aliti.. thrown in between and that re..

I have f had it re.. that's it for me.

If we lose this.. can someone be kind enough to pick me up from the gutter at the front of Kivitos at 9 tommorow morning?

Come to think of it.. can someone just pick me up from the gutter tommorow morning regardless of the result.

If we f lose this man.. I f swear man.. next Tinder date.. I will quote Billy Ocean lyrics the entire time.

I wanna be your loverboy.
I make love in the old fashioned way.
Oh my God.. get outta my dreams and into my car mate.
How would you best describe yourself? 'When the going gets tough the tough gets going'.

s**t like that re. Just too see if it would work and to see if I don't make a resili of myself and that re. But I've gotta do it with a straight face and act all serious and that re.

I have f had it re.. that's it for me man.

If we f lose this.. I f swear man.. I will not shower for the rest of the yr.. and change my description on Tinder to.. best anchoivie you'll ever have..

I have f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we f lose this man.. I f swear man.. I will eat a whole tepsi of mums fasolia.. go to Groove Bar at the cas that night without being able to control my flatulence all night.. get cracked on by groups of ladies.. and just say.. 'oh my God someone just let rip re' and then just look left and right and s**t re..

I have f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we f lose this.. I f swear man.. I will join a Johnny Farnham fan club.. go to one of their meetings.. hold hands in a circle with the other group members and sing 'you're the voice' in a trance like state and try and refrain from getting up mid track so that I can fling everyone's whispering jack vinyls agst the wall at high velocity and that re.

That's it for me.. I've f had it man.

If we f lose this man I f swear man.. i will open up a Lynx Africa stall at the front of the G next week with lil 10 mill sample cans and s**t like.. 'heeeeey.. come get some of this cheap s**t you idiots before it runs out you gypsies.'

I've f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we lose this man.. I swear.. I'll get me mates to strap me and wheel me around like Ken Bruce in the 'Madonna's lost the plot sale' ad re..

I have f had it.. that's it for me.

If we f lose this I f swear man I will start saying s**t like 'oh.. I thought poems were supposed to be about flowers and s**t like that'.

I've f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we f lose this.. I f swear man.. imma get a job as a security behavioural control expert at the G and that re so I can prank my mates Spiro and Doodoo and get em ejected for a laugh and that re.. ill say some s**t like 'eh you 2.. come with me'.. spiro will probably say ' what the f you're security here.. shut up re were mates what about kivotos and that re'.. I'll then just say.. 'don't know who you are mate.. let's go'.. he'll then say.. 'f off re'.. then I'll call 10 more security officers to surround em boot em out re.. f it re..

I have f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we lose agst Hawthorn.. I f swear man.. I'll write 'I don't always agree with you but you've hit the mark with that one' before every post just to maintain the status quo re.

Bigfooty is a microcosm of a football club re. You allow that s**t to creep in to your decision making.. you become fearful of losing your position in the hierarchy cause you love a good squig of wolf blass at the end of the day with your fellow bourgeois board members rather than challenging em to be the best they can be.

And the results are 2 prenierships in 60 yrs.

If we f lose this man.. I f swear.. I'll offer Maggie5 a gorilla for her wooden coat hangers.. come to think of it.. I'd offer her a gorilla for em for the win as well.. f.. stuck between a rock and a hard place.. well not necessarily.. hand over a gorilla to a good friend.. and hand over the coat hangers to Wall and Edna next door.. help contribute to their garage sale.

F I'm a good samaritan re.

If we lose this.. I will drive an extra 5ks to a servo that's offering a 5c saving per litre of petrol.. so I can pretend to know what it feels like to be hit hard at the bowzer re.. I have f had it.. that's it for me man.

If we f lose this and it's on account of the umpires.. I f swear man.. I will go to the race where they exit from.. and start serenading Bryan Adam's love songs to em and s**t like that.

I have f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we lose this.. I f swear man.. I will drive around town in my Jag with the windows rolled down and that re and scream amount to pedestrians.. 'heeeey look at me man.. I've been hit hard at the bowser re'.

I have f had it.. that's it for me man.

If we f lose this man.. I f swear.. I will wear my Gino Rossi's and Ortiz and Reeds throughout Broady shopping center so I can hear everyone go.. 'ahahaha look at him man.. look at him man.. he's wearing bowling shoes'. Class acts up that way re.

I have f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we f lose this man.. I f swear.. I will buy all my clothes from best and less. Best for less.. or whatever that f that shop is called.. and walk around for the rest of my life wearing synthetic s**t and clothes that turn to s**t after 1 wash.. and continue wearing em for 2 yrs after purchase. Best for less? More like f s**t for less re.

I have f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we f lose this.. I f swear man.. Imma do this at the Vue De Monde tonight..

A gorilla for anyone who knows who this bloke is..

If we f lose this man.. I f swear man.. I'll purchase 100 crock badges and throw em out of my bourgeois corp box down below to all the commoners.. watch em dive on em like a bunch of frenzied piranhas.. turn over the badge.. only to see the Crocks fatsa on it.. ill then get padded up.. and do a runner..

I have f had it man.. that's it for me

If we lose this ******* s*t man.. I ****** swear man.. imma approach folk in the supermarket and start singin'.. smooooothhhh ninety one point five... your musiiicccc breakfaaaaast shoowwww.. smooooooooooooooothhhhhhhhh... ninety one point fiiii hiiiiiive.. I don't give a * anymore man..

I've fuuuuuckin had it man..

If we lose this ******* s**t man.. imma get a sleave tat of Dennis Walter singing Christmas Carols.. I can't do this s**t no more.. I've completely had it.

If we lose this ******* s**t man.. Imms whipper snip all my remaining pubes.. I've had it man.. I can't anymore.

Lose this.. and I'm done with BF.

No more fashion tips
No more hairstyling tips
No more cooking tips
No more reno tips
No more parfum and eu de toilette tips
No more s**t you can do at an affordable price tips

You guys are on your own I'm afraid.

I've f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we *en lose this *en s**t man.. imma get a sleave tat of *en George Michael drinking 'Club Tripicana drinks for free' mate..

I have *en had it man.. that is it. * it.

If we en lose this en s*t man.. imma get a en face transplant mate.. * it.. a glad borgivlian schnoz whatever her name is and a en adrian dodoro chin and mouth.. so it looks like my fatsa got stung by a en swarm of * bees mate.

* this s**t mate.. I have *en had it. I can't anymore.

If we *en lose this *en s**t man.. I *en swear man.. imma start wearing kmart style dad jeans.. I can't anymore man.. I have *en had it man.

If we lose this.. I will attend a save the heritage tree protest down Brunswick St with all these op shop wearing bandits.. risk getting ridiculed in my designer wear whilst preaching John Lennon's Imagine and Utopia.. followed by sitting my ass down on one of the many beautifully deceased infested bar room couches asking for rollies..

That's it for me man.. I've f had it!

If we lose this *en s**t man.. I *en swear man.. I will wear a StandbyDan tshirt down Brunswick st for the rest of my life..

I *en can't do this *en s**t no more man.. i have *en had it man. * this *en s**t.

If we *en lose this *en s**t man.. imma play the edited version of Staying alive down Brunswick st with the windows rolled down and the subbies going *en nuts man.. you can tell by the way I use my walk.. I'm a human's human.. no time to talk.. I will conform to become a so called *en non *en conformist mate. Or however else you wanna say that *en s**t.. but you get my *en drift.

I can't do this s**t no more man.. * this *en s**t.

If we lose this s**t man.. imma get a sleave tat of Jaxson Barham on one arm and Callum Brown on the other.. running in full flight.. like headless chooks.

I'm done man.. that's the final straw. I can't anymore.. I'm sorry.

If we lose this s**t tommorow.. imma purchase a fluro AFL umpire's shirt and a whistle and walk around blowing my whistle at folk at Aldi Woolworth's and Coles and that.. pfewwww pfewwww 1.5 metres.. pfewwww pfewwww 1.5 metres.. until I get my head kicked in..

I have absolutely.. without a shadow of a doubt.. had it man.. I can't do this s**t no more. I'm done man.

If we *en lose this *en s**t man.. imma use guilt free vegan hair gel.. and launch my head through a brick wall..

I've absolutely had it. I'm done man.

If we win this.. I'm looking forward to a non denominational.. gender neutral.. non discriminatory.. eco friendly.. gluten free.. vegan and socially responsible post match celebration.. re

If we lose this *en s**t man.. I *en swear.. imma put my life on hold.. and attempt to revise the top 100 songs of all time.. knowing full well.. all it takes is one vroma from Brunswick st to complain about a track being not fully inclusive of s**t and *en s**t like that.. so I'm back to *en square 1 again mate.

I've *en had it man.. I'm done.

If we f lose this man.. I f swear man.. I'll buy a fresh pack of winnie blue 40s.. go down Brunswick st.. pull out every cig and scrunch the the f out of em.. throw em in the air and that re.. let the wind and rain get a hold of em.. and quote the wolf blass ad to all those dart pick pocketing Brunswick st mouhles and ahristes.. 'chaise boldly.. for you sir or madam.. are a f idiot'.

I've f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we lose this *en s**t man.. imma microwave my remaining 5 replacement memberships..

I've absooooluuutely had it.. done like a dog's dinner man.. finito lamouzika. I can't anymore.

If the Dogs lose this s**t man.. imma get a qrt watermelon from Aldi.. plonk it on the top of my cranium.. and walk around saying s**t like.. 'take me.. to your.. leader'.. in a robot like state and that re..

I have absolutely had it.. I'm done man.

If the Bulldogs lose this *en s**t man.. Imma do a Dr Alban Sing Hallelujah with his full on sick dance moves dressed in *en licra in the middle of an aisle at *en Aldi's mate.. party people c'mon sing with me c'mon c'mon c'mon..

I've absolutely had it man.. I'm done. I can't anymore. If the Bulldogs lose this *en s**t man.. Imma do a Dr Alban Sing Hallelujah with his full on sick dance moves dressed in *en licra in the middle of an aisle at *en Aldi's mate.. party people c'mon sing with me c'mon c'mon c'mon..

I've absolutely had it man.. I'm done. I can't anymore

If we lose this.. I will put in a request to lick the beads of beer running down Robbos state of the art manicured vlakia re.. get shitfaced on that.. light a dart.. and smoke it from the lit end like he's done re..

I have f had it.. that's it for me.

If we lose this.. I swear man.. I will cease being the coolest bloke on BF and answer questions like this s**t..

How was your day? Good
What are you eating for dinner? Oh yeah
Who you tipping next round? Yeah
How was clubbing? Good
Do you own pets? Yeah
Who's your fav player? Oh yeah

I have f had it.. that's it for me

If we lose this man.. I swear I'm gonna be like the ottoman and say.. 'I only listen to acdc the zep and occasionally mix it up with Sinatra and a bit of Hendrix.' Giving everyone the impression im a hot shot tough guy and that re.. But then PM someone 'as he did me' have a convo about playlists and s**t like that.. and how he has Carly Jepson's 'Call me maybe' Wilson Phillips The Corrs and s**t like that on it and that re.. and to please not tell anyone on BF about it.

I have f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we lose this re.. I will get together with me mates at Medallions or Melissa in my Lonsdale gear for a frape or a cap or whatever re.. and ask em who they voted for in the election.. then I'll go 'you're an idiot re.. how can you not vote for the sex party re.. and you come with me to Kivotos and that with me re.. you're a nerd re'. Followed by loud laughter and that re..

I've f had it man.. that's it for me.

If we lose this man I swear.. imma buy a crotch stained pair of used denim at the OP shop.. and wear that s**t around without giving thought as to who the f wore em and where the f stain came from re.. and just strut my stuff and tell my mates.. you see these jeans re.. 5 bucks re.. 5 bucks re.. where do you find s**t like this for 5 bucks re..

I've f had it man.. that's it for me.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

If .................. …

If Magden plays.. I f swear man.. I will accept the offer to replace Jasper as our next mod.

I have f had it man.. that's it for me.

If Crocker is selected tonight.. if that keftada is picked.. I f swear man.. next time I go for a kick with me mates at the local imma lead by jumping over the boundary fence followed by jumping over someone's back fence with me mates going.. 'what the f are you doing re?' I'll just respond by saying 'I'm doing a Crocker re.. when the f have you ever seen the kreas lead up the f guts re'.

I have f had it.. that's it for me man.

If we appoint Voss as coach.. I *en swear man.. imma wear Harris Scarfe Bronson wear.. for the rest of my life mate.. hey.. look at me everyone.. look at me everyone.. I'm Charles *en Bronson mate.. I'm Charles *en Bronson.. I'm cool.. like erghhhhh.. like ergghhhh.

I've absolutely had it man. I've absolutely had it. I'm done man. I can't.

If we get Voss.. imma spend every post covid normal weekend when it's 35 deg heat.. not heading down to the beach to strut my stuff with a soccer pill and to pick up and that re.. imma spend it watching Allan Border highlights on repeat all day with the cooling off.

If Krueger isn't on our books by Fri 5pm.. eastern standard time.. imma get a sleeve tat of the Madge in full flight turning over the pill mate.. forget about it mate.

If Crocker plays I'm visiting that idiot from the hello hello ad for f lavenders re.. cause apparently that's all it takes to roll folk for overpriced plants.. wearing a pink tutu re.. marketing guru re.. I'll flick my fluro g banger at him he's that good.

F going to Thomo market where you can get lavenders for $3 re..

I have f had it re.. that's it for me.

If Charles Darwin is considered one of the most influential people of all time.. why didn't he ever manicure his eyebrows and beard? Like at least just a lil bit and that re.. you don't have to look like fully mint and that re.. but seriously.. c'mon man.

If Appleby gets picked tonight.. imma walk down Brunswick St and spray everyone with Glen20. I'm done with this s**t man.

If the Madge gets named at CHB.. Imma grow a Charles Darwin beard and eyebrow.
I'm done man. I've aaaabsolutely had it. Can't anymore I'm sorry.

If Quaynor doesn't play round 1 I swear man.. I will grow my lawn/weeds 1 meter high front and back and just walk past it day in day out and not notice it like half the population does in Melbourne.. nevermind it takes 5-10 minutes to mow the damn thing re..

I have had it up to my friggen eyeballs with this s**t man.. that's it for me man!

If we don't name a coach by Wednesday.. when Serge my stylist and hairdresser opens for business again in the new covid normal.. imma request an Anthony Albanese 'do'.. he'll probably lose it at me and say wtf is wrong with you and that re sort of a thing.. and I'll just say.. just *en do it re.. I don't give a * anymore.

I've absolutely had it man.. I'm done.

If we don't sign Hill by the end of the working day.. Imma head down to Brunswick St.. sit at a Cafe wearing a potato sack.. order a guilt free skinny vegan style latte.. ask motorists to roll down their windows.. and then ask em what coffee they had this morning.. if any of em say they had it with a dash of milk or whatever and that re sort of a thing.. Imma place em on citizens arrest mate..

I have absolutely had it man.. I can't anymore I'm sorry.. I'm done.

If the Madge get picked tonight.. imma chap lap it.. in my gemi with the subbies working overtime to the tunes of col joy.. dennis walter.. slim dusty.. and the Lazarus of the music world.. the great Johnny Farnham..

I'm *en done man.. I can't

If Crocker plays.. the window at my corp box better be headbut and boot proof.. otherwise I'm gonna f lose it re.

I swear re.. one more injury.. just one more injury.. and I will be front row seats at Johnny Farnham's 19th comeback tour. And to add insult to injury I will purchase a Johnny Farnham t and wear that s**t to the vue de monde and other exclusive bars clubs and restaraunts.

I have f had it up to my eyeballs with this s**t man.. that's it for me.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Offloaded a gorilla

Just offloaded a gorilla on big Mason Cox to snag the first sausage roll at 51.

Wish me luck.

Had a gorilla on Reid for the first sausage roll.. touched on the line..

Had a gorilla on a 39.5+ point win re.. we win by 39.

Can someone pick me up from Kivotos 6 tommorow morning re.. I've f had it.

Genius of the Gimp nonetheless re.

Love it!

Just offloaded a gorilla on the madge to run with the pill and create something that looks half decent for once.. at $51.

Wish me luck.

Just offloaded a gorilla on Stephenson to snag 3 sausage rolls at 151.

Wish me luck.

Just collected 51 gorillas on big Max Lynch to accumulate 7+ possessions and I still haven't broken even on the gorillas I offloaded on big Mason Cox to snag the first sausage roll at 51 over the yrs and that re.

Unbelievable.

Just offloaded 20 gorillas on Poulter being omitted for next week's match at 1.04.

Wish me luck

Just offloaded a gorilla on C Brown and JT to snag 5 sausage rolls between em at 1001.

If I snag this.. that's over a million re.. I'll shout youz all a Madge badge. Don't thank me re.. it's nothing re.. it's nothing re.. all good.

Wish me luck.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Park the bus - Buckley's game plan

Buckley reminds me of my uncle.. knows the name of every bolt.. plaster board.. paint.. talks it up like he's the guru of it all.. but you look at his renos.. they look like s**t..

Dunno why we're bagging Sidebottom.. like every other player out there.. Bucks loves a game plan that makes every one of our players look like deers caught in headlights.

No enterprise. No identity.

Got em all marching the same bloody way..

What does it actually mean when the coach has or has lost the players..

A coach.. regardless of whether hes a tactical genius or not.. a man management guru.. or whatever.. can also become somewhat of a cult leader as well.. brainwashing his players into having control. Take for example.. Joe Exotic. Absolute dickhead right? Spend enough time with the bloke.. he'll have you believe he's the messiah.

Buckley is a fraud of a coach.. he's pretty much got his players as soon as they enter the Holden Center.. regardless of his prowess as a coach.. mesmerize you with his reptilian shapeshifting eyes and Harvard mouth.. and with Eddie beating his chest with this side by side greatest club in the land Hollywood style act.. the awe the aura of the club and the jumper.. Well any player is hook line and sinker.

Get back to winning premierships.. pre 1960s.. post 1960s.. we have fallen in love with our champions more so than winning premierships.

Structures and role playing and s**t.. great right.. what we lack under a Buckley.. is intuition. Just someone to grab the bull by the horns in big moments. Some one brave enough to break from the phalanx when s**t ain't going right and say 'f this'.. I'm going for it.. seizing the moment.

Eg.. things are going to s**t in a game of football.. Moore/Crisp talking to his compadres down back.. saying s**t like.. 'we're in a spot of bother here.. I'm going in lads'.. so the bloke runs into the guts.. or makes a 100 meter run down the wing into the forward 50 for the opportunity to snag a sausage roll.

We went about our business for 3 qrts under stricked instructions to play a certain style and stick to it.

Understand where the game is at.. that's not your choice Buckley.. players discretion mate..

We should have won this game.. we are so bloody regimented under Buckley though. Just so predictable.

There comes a moment in a game where you just can't chest down the pill from a cross.. having it land at your feet.. and just lay it off to your team mate.. mate.. you've gotta go for the bicycle kick re Bucks.. 3 qrts of the same predictable s**t mate.. fancy having a player of Moore's ilk just sitting back and watching it all unfold.. chaffing at the bit to change the course of the game.. but under strict instructions to stay poot re.

People often ask me via PM and that re.. but if we get a new coach doesn't guarantee success.. my response to that is.. we've got to continue trying to do the right and honest thing.. if it doesn't work out in the initial stages.. it will work out long term.. just bloody do the right things.. very simple formula re.. this is not about winning a premiership tomorrow.. or the yr after.. or the yr after that.. it's about sustained success over a s*t long period of time.. 5 yrs.. 10 yrs.. 20 yrs.. 50 yrs.. to get there we must be prepared to embarrass ourselves even further in the first coupla yrs or whatever.. we might be viewed as being a bit of a laughing stock and that re.. but deep down.. these bastards in the media and so on and so forth will know in their heart of hearts.. that we are on the ****** move.. and when we ******* land.. they'll be no other clubs out there that will be able to match us.

Eliminate as much politics from the club as possible.. keep it under control.. and just approach every thing we do from now on end with honesty and integrity.

Buckley on matchday.. is not great.

If I was in charge of employing a new senior coach.. one of the first questions I'd ask would be.. do you have crazy or wild streak in you?.. No.. No? I'll ask the question again.. now be honest.. it's ok.. No.. No?

Ok.. nice meeting you..

Get yourself a drink at the bar on your way out.. it's on us.

There is no plan A or plan B mate..

You can't just simply walk into any bar and use the same pick up lines mate.. you've gotta get a gauge of the joint.. demographics.. age group.. that type of s**t re.. the hell I'd use the same pick up lines say at the Groove Bar on a Saturday night mate.. and at Collins Quarter in an after work top end crowd and that re.

You're going with the flow of the game mate.. you can't just click your fingers and go from plan A to plan B.. that's where Buckley seems to get it all wrong.. you might actually change it up in 1 qrt from plan A to plan B to plan C all the way to whatever re f 10 times in the 1 qrt.. and so on and so forth mate. That's it mate.

You've just gotta go with the motion in the ocean mate.. the sands in the hour glass.. that type of s**t mate.

The Drac's a great re.. would make it a lot easier to offload De Goey if he was our coach.. park the bus and have the Goo playing in the back pocket looking for a dinky lil sideways 15 metre vlakia to the Madge.. the Goo looks like s**t.. everyone complains.. he's not fulfilling his pooootential.. and ladida.. kai ala pramata.. aaaaand off to Norf you go.. forget about it mate..

Allowing their personalities to shine.. where to place them to get the best out of them.. you wouldn't see Maynard playing in a forward pocket.. you wouldn't see Stephenson Thomas WHE expected to play defensive boring football now would you.. they're ******* dangerous players when we're on the attack. When we're moving the ball slowly and sideways.. that's instructions coming from the box.. renders players useless. What balance best suits us. Fine tuning.. that sort of s**t. Let it all evolve naturally. And go with it. When you dance re.. fill it all the way to your fingertips re..

It's not only that.. you're position at the club isn't scrutinized as much. Reminds me of the time I worked at the Reject Shop at Northland as a storeman and that re when my sister was managing the joint. There was a rack full of a s**t load of tshirts and that re.. and a customer asked me if there was a medium size in one of these dickhead prints.. I go go you're not serious are ya.. not only does it look like s**t.. but *en find it yourself you lazy so and so.. and there were times during late night Christmas shopping where it was like 11 at night or whatever and I would clear out one of the shelves and go for a nap with customers still in the store.. but I got away with a s**t load of warnings.. I'd work well some days when I was in the mood and that re.. and get my temp contract extension and that re.. reminds me of Buckley getting offers for extensions and that re having a garb season but being offered a contract and that re for playing well in jlts.. same s**t.. different smell and that re sort of a thing.

It's like he's taken all the lads to a Dennis Walter Carols by Candelight concert.. ok.. lads.. move left and right on my call.. get out your lighters on my call.. a lot of the lads just wanna let lose to Bon Jovi mate. Get on a podium and go nuts to Kesha DJ Bobo or whatever.. sort of a thing and that re.

That desire to just want to play the game and go out there and have some fun.

Re, Ima stich 7-0 on your bathrobe re. That's the scoreline in Rome v Greece in wars. Thats a Seven and a zip re. 7 to nil.

I think he's gone too hard on sports science and data has Bucks.. man management skills have taken a back seat to it re.. like if I was Bucks right.. I'd have my office overlooking the car park and training grounds.. arrive at training early.. and if I'm in my office.. I can sit and observe what mood the players were in when they arrived at training.. or who's out there having a kick.. working those extra hrs to get their skills up to scratch or whatever.. this fine attention to detail is what's needed. But he's more fixated on the sports science and data of the game..

I mean when you hear Pendlebury come out and say.. well he is now spending more time in the gym to get to know the lads and that re.. you gotta worry a bit about that re.. yeah you have your demarcation line between being a coach and engaging in a bit of banter and getting to know the lads a lot more.. but it kind of suggests to me that he's never valued man management high enough.

I can't tell you how many times I've gone for a cappuccino at the G and that re.. returned back to my corp box.. only to find that we're still trying to transition the pill out of defence.. in the same play and that re.. moving it left and right and then left and right and then left and right again.. awful.

Some of my besties on here are the walt the ot and the *en Niiiiiiid maaaaan.. does that mean I have to employ them as my assistants.. * no.. business is business.. if I think someone I don't necessarily get along with on here can do a better job than the walt the ot or the nid.. then I'll go with with them.. it's not about the 4 of us.. it's the 1 million that support this club.. they are the ones that matter the most. They are the one that run the show.. not 4 blokes waxing lyrical about spending end of season trips together on the blocks in Mykonos man.

Scoring is overrated

Apparently.. moving the ball sideways isn't.. gives you time to go and get yourself a *en latte re.. and they're still trying to moveuvre the pill left and right in the same play.. until the Great Jonathon Noble turns it over kicking sideways yet again.. even the opposition is filing their nails waiting for us to move it forward so they can get a hold of it and move it forward because they've had 5 minutes to set up nicely..

Ti les re..

Talking about Alexander here re..

That tactical monoveue of how to beat Buckley's park the bus strategy I pulled it right out of the Alexander the Great tactical rule book re.. if you're gonna score heavily against a Buckley park the bus side.. create a diversion on one side.. then look to distribute the pill to the other side.. have a look at Geelong's first coupla sausage rolls.. Geelong were running with 4 on one side of the 50 m arc.. Buckley's bus moved towards em.. and that created easy opportunities to distribute the pill over to the other side for an easy sausage roll.. Alexander used this technique to a treat.. he would use his cavalry to create a diversion on one side.. then attack on the other. Same s**t and that re.

Was going to post about how Alexander.. the greatest Greek of them all.. never lost a fight.. but got carried away.. and thought I'd make it about me.. and how much of a great I am.

Am I a great re?

Fancy being a player.. instructed to look for a sure thing 15 metres to the side of ya.. but your gut is telling you to chose another option.. when you use your gut.. you're effectively using your brains.. you're not being an idiot.. it's all probability man.. eg.. the speed and direction of the wind.. how I'll trajectile the pill.. the positioning of your team mate and opposition player.. placing the pill on your boot.. your skills.. your direct opponents skills.. etc etc.. then you make a decision..

Fancy all that being taken away from you cause some bloke in the box is forcing you to kick it sideways..

How will you ever grow as a side if everyone is wired to think the same way. Where's the x factor. Where's the unpredictability. The aura.

The entire football world is criticising our game plan.. parking the bus and moving it like slugs sideways and backwards looking for 100% assurities.. apparently the opposition is responsible for our dog's breakfast of a game plan.. apparently it's all too difficult to take a punt and launch the pill forward to a one on one.. how dare we do that.. football sacrilege.

Takes time for new blokes to familiarise themselves with the 'You don't want to be a forward.. because we like to park the bus in our backline and move it sideways and backwards' Buckley game plan we've perfected over the yrs.. got that s**t down pat re.

Give the lads a chance to either trip over each other in the back 50.. or starve to death in the front 50.

You're a great re

Buckley parks the bus.. our players run forward on the counter.. the pill is launched into our 50.. our players are still in forward motion.. then have to turn around.. only to find the pill is within half a centimeter of their scons.. ok let's reach out for it like spuds.. it might *en stick by some *en miracle chance.

If Buckley had access to move the ball sideways all the way to Punt Rd.. he'd be rapped I reckon re.

Dunno what game people are watching..

You're running out of the back half.. or say through the guts.. your team mates are pre-empting you launching the pill to a one on one in our forward 50.. so they're gemi-ing it up the pitch.. to get involved in the action.. then you've got smaller/medium types anticipating a launch of the pill into our forward 50 to add to the play. Great way to play the game.. players are always on their toes.. even if you distribute the pill to someone under immense pressure.. they'll be someone there to support you on the overlap.. so in effect.. you're catching your opponents off guard.. even though they've got a hold of ya.. and I'm just starting here.. can go on and on about the benefits of moving the pill this way..

Under Buckley.. players with or without the pill.. their brains are wired to look sideways and backwards.. rather than looking forward.. looking for an option that's free.. but doesn't necessarily get you anywhere.. it's as risk averse footy as you can get. Holding on to the pill.. stagnant.. boring.. horrible.. flat footed rubbish football.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

On Covid and lockdowns

Anyways..

A belated good morning to everyone..

Have a wonderful new covid normal day.

This disease is like *en Johnny Farnham comeback tours.. just when you think you've got the s**t under control.. it rears it's ugly head again re.

Initially I though the virus was like Sam Groth.. like a hoax.. like all bullshit and that re.. like a bit of a fraud.. then as the months went on and that re.. like my brain was telling me that this s**t is more like Nick Kyrgios.. just when you think you've got it under control.. it just goes on you again..

Anyway.. that's how I look at it and that re.. this s*t is ****** real man.. I'm telling ya. So yeah

Kinda hits home and *en s**t like that when you get out of your car walk through a car park shopping center with everyone wearing a mask and that re.. it feels like your trying to weave your way around an evil spirit or some s**t like that.. how does one do that when you feel like it's all around you.. it really is s**t.. certainly not the work of Apollo mate.

We're cancelling social events.. yet we've got 300 folk lining up for toilet paper.. dry humping each other.. supermarkets are breading grounds for the virus.

There's 2 types of people re.. some poor bugger knocks on your door asking for a toilet roll.. one will slam the door on his fatsa.. the other one will hand him a toilet roll.. Why? it's a trigger in the brain that really has nothing to do with self preservation.

What happens say if you've gone out for a 1 hr jog/walk or some s**t like that.. and you've got a medical certificate (sprained ankle or whatever) from your uncle who's a good doc and that re.. and you got pulled over by the cops cause they've noticed you've been exercising outdoors for more than 1 hr.. can you produce the certificate and explain to em.. you only intended on going out for an hrs walk but your ankle was playing up.. a lot more than what you expected it to.. so it's taken you over 3 hrs to get home or some s**t like that re and get away with it and that re?

Just called the coronavirus hotline.. spoke to Lucy.. had to ask and s**t.. I go.. like.. I'm in a serious open relationship with Bernadette and Florence and that re.. is it ok of I see em and that re.. she goes oh really.. I go.. yeah man.. then she goes I've never been asked that before.. I then go.. c'mon man.. do I sound like a commoner and that re.. she then paused for a bit on the phone.. and said.. look let me look that up.. i then go.. look up f stud mate.. then she just hung up on me.

Wtf is wrong with people these days. No one does their ******* jobs mate. Coronavirus hotline my f ass mate.

The other day there was a smartass who was lining up behind me at the supermarket.. like coffing on me and s*t like that.. so i turned around and the malaka was like en like half a mtr or some s*t like that behind me and that with his masked pulled down.. looking like he wanted to like start me.. like get a **** rise out of me or whatever and that..

l just stared at the malaka for like a good like 5 to like 10 to like 15 seconds or whatever.. like no bullshit man.. then I turned around again.. paid for my groceries.. and walked off.. never looked back.

That there is like the epitomy of like cool mate.

Am I a great or what man.

The first thing I'm gonna do after all these restrictions are lifted.. is go to a Deborah Conway gig.. don't wanna throw myself into something full throttle and s**t like that gotta take into account the social isolation shock factor re.. I wanna gradually build up that excitement back in my life again by starting at the very bottom.

Mowing my lawn 3 times a day.. hitting the home gym hard.. perfecting my cooking skills.. free djing for neighbors.. online yoga I've never tried that s**t but might do an hr session of it every morning.. self reflection and development and malakies like that f zen re.. etc etc..

You've got to have a plan in place.. don't become a couch patato re.. come out of this the other end stronger than ever.

Went on a 5k nature run around Mt Martha re.. seems as though most are adhering to the rules and that re.. barely anyone on the beach.. felt quite serine to be honest.. at one with nature and s**t.. didn't think I'd enjoy it as much as I did.. in amongst the flora and fauna and that re.. peaceful time to reflect on how much of a legend I am and that re.. a f star mate.

Like what the.. right.. get this..

So I go to the shop to buy 5 blow up dolls.. and the assistant goes.. no stockpiling thanks.. I'm like.. are you for f real re.. that's how I roll mate.. then I head off to buy 5 slabs at Woolworth's.. and same s**t.. 'you selfish so and so'.. and I'm like.. 'f off re.. im not a 2 pot screamer.. I avg 5 slabs a week mate'..

This is bullshit mate.

Can anyone make sense of what the expression 'new covid normal' is? What a 'covid normal Christmas' is?

It's either covid or normal.

If someone can come up with a good enough answer I'll upload my rendition of the Collingwood theme song using my bouzouki.

Ok guys..

Getting ready for the 7.30pm virtual bar crawl.. showering.. getting in some good clothes.. and getting the cocktails ready..

Good to get some normality back in my life.

Wish me luck.

Each to their own..

But there's no use in complaining about everything.. it's a pandemic.. everyone has been affected by it.. watching the news this morning listening to someone complain about being in isolation after coming off a cruise ship.. complaining about dietary requirements.. not being able to go out for a dart.. not having a nurse come visit her everyday.. etc etc etc.. it's a 'pandemic'. It's expected.. being on the phone for 2 hrs trying to organize your foxtel account.. lining up from 4.30 am at Centrelink.. not being able to purchase masks and gloves.. or the groceries you're used to.. well that's all a part of it.. if it changes for the better in the short to medium term.. great.. if it doesn't.. well so be it.. learn to adjust and live with it for a while. This is not a lengeanairs outbreak in some office somewhere that we're able to pinpoint.. if assistance is required it would be for a few.. not 25,000,000.

Best way to deal with it: sit down.. and chill out.. we've been dealt a s**t hand.. the world has been shocked to it's core.. and someone wants 5 star service asking for dietary requirements? Is that how it works? What.. in a country of 25,000,000 where everyone is affected by it.. with all resources stretched to the max.

Seriously..

It's a bit of a conundrum this life re.. take away food medicines toiletries.. what happens we end up fighting over the last roll of toilet paper or nick one from a filthy macas cubicle re.. if bangers and mash or macaroni microwaved baked beans was the only s**t available we'd fight over that s**t again.. one pack of panamax available in the store.. we'd leap over aisles to get a hold of the pill re.. we become primal out of fear.

Then when everything is available in abundance.. we'd walk past restaurant after restaurant before we decide where to sit our asses down.. were not happy with the texture of toilet paper.. we only buy panamax when we run out re..

Now that everything is available in abundance.. what do we do again.. we over indulge in it re.. we become extravagant re.. then we lose the plot yet again..

Moral of the story.. know thyself.. and everything in moderation.. strike a nice balance.. and you'll live a good life.

Am I a great or what re?

Unfbelievable mate.

I was a good boy this morning.. Florence my neighbor knocked on my door asking if I could fix her washing machine.. I said Florence and the machine will have to wait a while.. then I slowly closed the door on her with this 50 shades of sexy look in my eyes.

I think I'm growing as a human being man. Really maturing and that re.

I called the coronavirus hotline today.. Edwina answers.. the phone.. I go.. how are you man.. she goes.. fine thanks yourself.. I go.. good re.. then I explained to her my situation with my serious open relationship gfs.. Samantha my other neighbour.. and choosing a Tinder date as my nomination to come over and that re.. then there was this long pause.. then she goes.. go away you drongo.. I then go.. who you calling drongo re.. wheres your section this.. subsection that of your new covid normal rule for studs mate.. then she just bloody hung up on me.. *en hell mate.. standard *en question.. must have been a $20 casual mate.. * does anyone do their jobs these days.. or is that the new *em covid *en normal mate.

Unfbelievable.

The world's gone to s**t re.

I'm off to my wine cellar.. fine selection of Red Hill wine to chose from..

Enjoy the rest of your 'new covid normal' day.

If I want to head out at 10 at night.. 3 in the morning for a 1.25 l bottle of v8 apple sweet potato and yellow carrot juice so I can skull the s**t.. cause I don't do 250ml serve vlakies.. then what the hell does that have anything to do with you..

Should I be asking you to head out a bit more.. cause you're a homebody. No. That's your business. It's called.. minding ones own business.

And another thing.. how many actually head out at night regardless of a curfew.. particularly during the week.. and particularly when nothing is actually open. Even if there was no curfew you’d still have the police waiting on every street corner for a half an hr waiting for a car to go by.

My mate Spiro's lowered to the * mustang with the sick rims and subwoofers that Dan can hear from a good distance away.. has broken down.. and he doesn't wanna drive his mums olive colored vw polo cause he's embarrassed.. and he needs to get to the chemist asap for new covid normal essentials like scented candles and massage oils and *en s**t like that.

What's the new covid normal.. call an uber.. or walk an hr to and from.. is walking to the pharmacy considered exercise?

The prick asked me.. and I couldn't give him a new covid normal answer and ******* s**t like that re. He *en lost it at me man.. he goes.. mates after re.. mates after.. * man.

Now we've got the police pleading with everyone to rat on their neighbor's. Has nothing to do with making their jobs easier of course re. That will do wonderful things for moral no doubt. Fancy being ratted on by your neighbor then trying to figure out who the * did it for the yrs after that.

I'm expecting the Drac to announce if you suspect a neighbor is not complying with covid rules.. and you don't rat on em.. you yourself will get fined. Well.. anyone in close proximity and that re.

Vote 1.. The Drac.. The savior!

Just yesterday re.. was going for a run and that re.. stop at the lights.. then some dickhead with like a long sleave light lemon colored polo top.. a *en Anthony Albanese hairdo.. his missus must have cut.. was standing next to me at the lights jogging on the spot like a sick campaigner.. looks over at me no doubt thinking.. who the * is this dickhead with his Stallone Rambo hairdo and growth and that re.. so I just stood there staring back at him.. then he goes.. if you don't mind can you move back a lil so that I can press the button to change the lights and that re.. I was like.. yeah no worries Albo.. so I move back.. the campaigner rolls down his sleave.. presses the button with his sleave over his hand and that re.. still jogging on the spot.. and I'm just looking at him and that re.. lights change.. and off he goes.. still looking like he was jogging on the spot like a dickhead.. and I was like thinking.. agh * off will ya..

That's what life has become like down here re.. dickheads reluctant to sit on park benches.. touch trees.. traffic lights.. for fear of contracting the covid re. Touch this reeeee.

*en malakies mate.

Forget about it re.

Why can't we play golf.. is it because the distance from the club house to the furthest green would be on avg say 3 to 3 1/2 ks.. which means that the distance from your residence to the furthest hole on the course would be beyond 5ks and that re?

Very very interesting.. I reckon that's it re. New covid normal golf is really a very grey area. Unless you're lucky enough to live on a golf course.

Just had a chat with one of my Tinder matches.. she reckons she had far too many drinks last night and she was still hungover.. I go.. have a hydralyte re.. she goes.. ok that might help.. then she asked me..what did you get up to today.. I go.. I spent my day trying to find my new covid normal.. then she just unmatched me. I was like haaaaaaaa??

Unbelievable. My God.

Might get my nephew a toy range rover motor vehicle for his new covid normal birthday around about new covid normal Christmas.. and do the right thing.. pre warn him not to drive it when party goers are around because you might ram into em.. and even when they're not around.. not to drive it.. cause the neighbors cat might jump the fence in front of the vehicle.. and you may injure it. Basically just leave it in the box.. and return it for a refund.

The new Drac covid normal birthday gift.

Cause I'm continuing to strive towards finding more of that new covid normal in my life so that I can lock it in.. when I went to 7/11.. I thanked the sales assistant for making good slurpees re.. and she was like.. ha? And I was like.. what man.

What about emailing 2nd yr uni students asking em if they wanna volunteer their time/pay min to administer jabs re.. good idea? Not saying it's happening.. but say they did do it.. cost cut.. more money for roads.. building obscure pathways that lead to nowhere.. planting trees etc.
health comes first.

Spent 2 hrs manicuring my beard this morning..

For what re?
For what re?

To impress my next door neighbours Wol and Edna..

Can't go to the clubs.. can't do s**t mate.

It hasn't been easy re.. set your maximum distance on Tinder to 5ks.. bars and clubs shut.. might be a while before they get back to some form of new covid normal.. it's ****ed re.. you do it and tell me how it feels.. you do it re.. you do it re.

We all put our faith in the.. all knowing.. all seeing.. all knowledgeable beyond our comprehension.. Jerome and the prof sutto bambi eyes sutton. 2 of the greats re.

And then what.. can't go out and pick up re.. the only good thing to come out of this lockdown is that.. wearing a mask.. forgot how good my breath smells re.. like *en pot pouri mate..

We finally got there everyone.. we've pushed and prodded and screeched and scratched and pulled and tugged and twisted and turned and pushed and prodded.. but we got finally got there.. gl to everyone.. as we move from the new covid normal.. into a partial or whatever you call it and that re.. post covid normal.

Getting all emotional just thinking about it.

We did it!

Yaaaaaa *en beaaaaaautyyyyyy!

What's the good of this lockdown re.. the gemi is sitting in the garage.. can't put it to good use.. showing it off down lygon and bouverie and chape and that re.. get up in the morning for a 1 hr gym session.. *en beast mode and everything man.. but who am I doing it for.. who am I doing it for re.. Marika? Marika? Can't go to the clubs anyhow re.. so what's the *en point re.. what am I supposed to make love to the *en system re.. *en hell re.

Even Club Tropicana can feel like you're in lockdown.. if you just sit there in your hotel room and stare at walls and en s*t like that.. go to Woolworth's.. go buy yourselves the s*t you need to make a good quality pina colada.. the sun is **** shining.. get out on your porch or your balcony.. and *en enjoy it.. you're own personal Club Tropicana.

So when are we expected to come out of lockdown? 26th Oct? Not sure if we're allowed to invite guests over after the 26th and that re.. so just a quick question.. I've lived a good polyamorous lifestyle for the last 10 yrs of my pre covid normal life.. just prior to the new covid normal.. I had 8 fwb's.. now I've nominated one of them as my intimate partner.. so it's the 7th today.. is it ok to break up with my current fwb tonight.. let's say.. and nominate one of my other fwb's as my intimate partner.. break up with them again in a coupla.. and nominate a 3rd fwb as my intimate partner.. basically trying to fit all 8 of em in.. leading up to the 26th or not and that re? Probably be left with no fwbs as result.. but I can get back on the Tinder bandwagon again I suppose in the new/post covid normal.

Hopefully we get a lot of sun before the 26th and that re.. get a bit of a tan and that re.. and let it settle for a bit and that re.. so I'm looking mint for the bars and that re.. might time my run for the 30th though.. Fri. It depends on the vibe really.. being locked up for as long as we have been.. folk froffing to go out and that even though it's just a Tues. I'll be at full effic man.. full of juice.. and ready for use mate.. that's it mate.. forget about it mate.

Just a friendly reminder.. if you're watching the footy today.. yes.. the sun is out.. Spring is in the air.. it doesn't mean you can all get together with your mates.. and 'get on da beeeeers'.. it's not appropriate.. it's not essential.. it's.. not.. needed.

Just a friendly reminder to everyone.. if there's an announcement of a new coach within the next coupla.. and ya wanna celebrate or sulk with a drink or 2 or whatever and that re.. you can't have all your mates over.. so that you can 'get on da beeeeers'.. it's not appropriate.. it's not essential.. it's.. not.. needed.

(Carl v Coll) Big game today everyone.. just a friendly reminder.. that you won't be able to go to the pub to watch the game.. because the pubs are shut.. that doesn't mean you can have all your mates to home.. and.. 'get on da beeeeers'.. that's not appropriate.. it's not essential.. it's not needed.. and all it will do.. is spread the virus.

Go Pies!

(From ‘whatever re’) What are we in our 19th mth now?

This thread was about being able to find ways to continue to live a good life.. being able to think.. and enjoy.. and love.. setting yourself up for 2022. That's what it's always been about.

Even though the weather's rough out there.. and it's important to take the vaccine to get us through it.. There's still a lot of enjoyment in say.. learning how to cook.. learning Rick Astley 'on the spot' dance moves.. building things.. keeping fit.. helping each other out.. whatever re.. there's a lot of quality things we can still do. The ultimate goal is to come out on the other side learning from it and being a better person for the experience.. come summer.. sun on your back.. sand between your toes.. swimming in the ocean and feeling good about it all. Strutting your stuff on the beach.. or at a nightclub or whatever.. looking mint.. showing off your new Astley moves.. cooking meals.. and inviting all your friends and family over so that you can all enjoy it together.

I think we all deserve that.

That's what it's about.

TheGreatGrundy · Mar 11, 2023

Vegemite

Just gotta accept the fact that we were never going to get Tom Lynch.. just like Ottoman has to accept the fact that he will never eat Vegemite again.

Just the way it is re.

Ran out of Vegemite and walked over to the local for a new jar.. hard work re.

How's the Vegemite treating ya over there re.. lick the screen and fantasize re

Vegemite has an expiry date of 1 mth.. so enjoy it while it lasts..

Feel free to lick my Vegemite toast pic when you run out of stock re.

If we lose this.. I will starve myself of Vegemite for the rest of my life like the Ottoman. That's it for me re.. I've f had it.

Grab a jar of homemade fig juice you prepared from your kipo.. hold it close to your chest.. close your eyes dance and dream about it being a jar of Vegemite.. bitta Dan Hartman's 'I can dream about you' light music in the background.. Bob's your uncle re.

The best example I can give you of a Richmond supporter re.

I'll use the Ottoman in this if I may..

You can spread dirt or dog turd on a piece of toast.. the Ottoman will be gullible enough to take a bite out of it thinking it's Vegemite.. but then spit it out and chase after ya and s**t re..

Whereas a Richmond supporter.. will take a bite out of it.. know what it is.. but swallow it.. and then try and convince you it was Vegemite.. when we all know it was dog turd re.. foolish pride re.

Hope that makes things a lot easier for everyone to understand when you're dealing with Richmond supporters re.

Glad to help.

If we lose this.. I will fedexpress to the Ottoman a big empty jar of Vegemite that I've washed in the dishwasher 10 times over.. so that when the Ottoman receives it.. he will not only be disappointed by the empty jar.. when he goes to lick it.. he gets that sweet taste of morning fresh mint dishwashing liquid..

That's it for f me man.. I've f had it re!

(2018 poster of the year award) Christ you lot..

I suppose I could send the Ottoman a jar of Vegemite without dishwashing it 10 times.. so he can get some of what ever little is left of it.. on a piece of toast. Runners up prize for ya re.. nice hand me down from the Gimp re.

Thanks everyone for voting for me.. we all live vicariously through the players and the club's actions.. and the excitement on this board has been nothing short of sensational.

We are all greats re!

I love making myself vegemite toast in the morning the day of a game re..

Ohhhh would you look at that.. an empty jar of vegemite I just turfed cause I can't be f scraping the rest of the s**t out.. gold for the ottoman though.

Have a wonderful day OT.

Enjoy your fig spread re.

Hey Gimp still got plenty of 2.5kg Vegemite at my work if you and Otto are getting ready to panic buy.......just don’t smuggle it into Mt Martha re.

Once you're finished with it.. dishwasher it at least 5 times.. slap on a new label.. and send it to the big man.. he'll wanna snif it at least.. so you'll cover all bases. Knowing him.. he'll probably get his head stuck in it re. He deserves it. He is a dickhead.

Vegemite has B1 essential for brain function. So don't need it.

While everyone is reaching for the Sunblest and vegemite.. I've got the frozen pizza bases chocka block full of salami from Hungary.. sauce from Italy.. jalapenos from Spain.. kalamata olives from Greece.. all f imported mate.. a la carte for brecky.. not bad for a random alternative I guess re.

Was thinking.. why don't we all have 8 pieces of toast with vegemite.. in honour of the Ot's birthday.

JuI'm actually pretty serious. When I'm flipping houses and that re.. my mate Spiro always wants to come in and do shitty plaster jobs.. so I've told him.. look re.. were mates.. but * off. I get tradies to come in with a good resume.. indeminity insurance.. s**t like that. I don't want to know about them.. their families.. feed em kebabs at lunch.. and have a 6 pack in the fridge for em to launch into at irregular times during the day.. do your job.. and * off more or less..st got a pm from the Nid.. he started putting his vegemite in the fridge.. and he reckons it tastes better. He thanked me for it.

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Toast The World According to Gimp - am I a ******* great or what re.

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