Toast The World According to Gimp - am I a ******* great or what re.

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Miscellaneous

Why don't clubs recruit the old fashion way.. when i got picked for Heidelberg.. there were 50 players from around the state who tried out over a week.. they picked 3 of us. I was 16 at the time and only lasted 3 yrs at the club because i opted for booze nightclubs and women.. in hindsight it was a good decision cause i would have only been on $500-600 a week. I went to uni and partied my a.. off rocking the podiums at Metro and Chevron.. i played for Northcote on a $150 pay packet but i had the luxury of turning up to games off my nut cause i was a super talent. So no i don't regret the last 20 years of my bachelor lifestyle..

That level of professionalism is what's required for any young player to succeed i reckon. Yeah mate. That's it mate.



Be awesome if I was sponsored by Centrelink today re.

Wake up.. straight on the couch.. not shower.. watch the ashes until 6.. scratch my ass.. order Domino's pizza.. fill up my ashtray with Rollo cigs that smell like dog turd.. then watch the draft.

Bliss re!


10000 posts comprising of 8000 anti Buckley posts.. and 2000 vlakia ones.

Probably the most accurate of all my posts.

Thanks to everyone for putting up with my antics.. love the club.. and don't take life too seriously re..

I ******* luv yas man.



Standard day/night of the finals.

Try on clothes combos for a good hr or 2.. aim is not to double up on clothes I've worn to the ground in previous games. Actually purchased a new pair of Gino Rossi's for this week.. will post later.

Prawns for brecky to start the day..

Throw on some motivational tracks throughout the course of the day at home and in my car on the way to the G.. some of my favs..

Irene Cara: Fame
Chaka Khan: Ain't Nobody
Billy Ocean: Loverboy
Paul Lekakis: Boom boom boom
Stevie Wonder: Part time lover

s**t like that.

Overall pretty relaxed on the day.

Celebrate a good win.. question a bad loss.. went about it the right way win/lose I'm proud.

In a nutshell right there re.


Here's wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous new yr re..

Can't wait for the new developments to take effect re.. the ch31 cfc channel badhorse and I well have up and running by early March or some s**t like that re.. for further info pm badhorse.

Enjoy your baked beaned.. avoiding sinking your workman boots into cow pat.. launch into a slab and 'brag about it to your mates' type of Christmas whilst I'm entertaining my bourgeois guests with exotic cocktails and gourmet food and s**t like that re.

May you're cards be live and your pots be monsters.

You're all f greats re.. f bastions re.

Really quite humbled as well to receive the 'The poster of the year' award. Thanks to all my subordinates who voted for me.

With lots of love

DJ Gimpos



You know those mini chocolate cream rolls you get in a family size pack of 12 at Woolworths.. I had like 6 of em in the space of a minute or 2.. and the missus goes.. you f ate half the pack you idiot.. I go mate.. if you size em up.. its bloody like eating a small slice of cake mate.. f unbelievable the s**t we argue about these days.. ridiculous re.. I've had it


Don't do foo foo dust.. not even jazz cabbsge.. spliffs.. or whatever the f they call that s**t.

Scotch whisky bitta gin.. and I'm happy. Haven't had a beer for a long time. Can't stand it to be honest.



Anyone wanna carpool it to Moe in their Hyundai I30 or some s**t like that for our pre season game?

The f if you think I'm gonna take my Maserati dodging cow s**t on the road. F that s**t re.


Sos is great re..

If he was renovating his home.. see something he likes.. can't afford it and thinks there's cheaper alternatives out there.. so spends the entire day shopping for a toilet that's $50 less.. goes around bargaining and picking up 2nd and 3rd rate s**t.. finishes the reno.. kicks back.. looks around.. and is no where near satisfied enough with the outcome.. but tries to convince others that he is..

I can see past the IKEA kaboodle kitchen $2 shop art work and floating floor boards re SOS.. in a rush re?

You're a f great re.



I'm surprised how much I've matured since last yr and that re..

Unfbelievable re.


Is it wrong to go with your mate Spiro to 5 different Bunnings stores and get him to buy a can of paint at each store and have him say.. 'what's that re.. you got the color wrong you gifto'.. so they have to put it in the mistint section.. and then you come along 5 minutes later and buy it at a 20% discount? Saving yourself $100s in paint.

What is the world coming to re. Unfbelievable man.



Morning to all my fans and air conditioners and s**t like that..

The Gimp is putting a prize up for grabs re.

Whoever guesses the right margin gets 3 free lessons on how to dance the Paso Doble from yours truly re..

Appreciate it if you didn't flood my inbox with your predictions. Last time that happened with everyone asking me questions.. 'how do you always get it right.. how do you always get it right' and that re.. bogfooty lost a day through maintenance and that re. Just post it on here re.

No need to live vicariously through the Gimp for the lucky winner..

Good luck everyone.. may your cards be live.. and your pots be monsters.


God this is liberating being serious for a change and that re.. looking forward to being serious again in 10 rounds time.. unfbelievable man..


Guys.. no need to flood my inbox and that re asking 'why you're getting all serious' and 'you want the old Gimp back' and that re.

Just wanted to apologize to all for my lapse and that re.. due to popular demand.. the old Gimp will be back and all that jazz.


I reckon I could come up with a best bigfooty 22 cfc side re.. the results would be guaranteed 110% success. Would welcome anyone to take on my side. Folk are more inclined to choose their friends. The click re.. me.. couldn't give a f who you are.. I wanna win. I'm already one step ahead of ya.. and a mighty big one if you're gonna do that re..

Some surprise inclusions and exclusions in my side.

Now please.. don't flood my inbox again with comments like.. 'Gimp have I made it.. Gimp have I made it'.. and that re.

Ade re.



(2019 GF) Since the loss.. kinda lost my mojo a bit..
feeling flat and s**t like that and that re.. the meaning behind my posts are pretty much faultless as per usual.. yet the long winded waffle nature of em leaves a lot to be desired.. I know that.. kinda embarrassing.. almost Ottoman like I must admit. I apologize for that.

Only a GWS win will see the Gimp back to his best.

I will be launching into the Richmond board should they loss.. makes sense.. considering the Bringoutthegimp act will no longer be.. going out in a blaze of glory re.

Agh re Noid re.. agh re Noid re..


The thought of Richmond winning and the Cotch talking s**t about the universe.. man.. I would f do anything for a GWS win.. except go down f Brunswick st and eat an organic gluten-free flourless vegan carob cake with all those dirty hippy liberals.. that's a line I simply will not cross.

I have absolutely had it man.. that's it for me man. I'm f done.



Here re.. it's f like.. 'oh pass me the Thins Craig.. oh can you reach in and grab the Nes Shaz.'

You go to f Toumba in Thesaloniki and you can't see 2 inches in front of your face from the 50 flairs lit.. you go home and it takes you 3-4 days to recover from flair smoke inhalation.. your ears are ringing.. you've lost your voice.. you can't sleep even though you're exhausted.. you're legs are stiff from all the lactic acid.

I'm not suggesting we go full on PAOK re.. but how on earth are we ever going to promote the game of AFL overseas when the crowd acts so vanilla re. It's f like we've got the foo fighters on stage going nuts.. then you turn to the crowd and you're thinking wtf is this.. Carol's by Candelight watching f Dennis Walter with that baratone malakia voice of his perform.. sway right and f left.. oh this is so f cool.. what a lovely time I'm having tonight.

Agh stooo.. go spend the millions in grass roots footy..


Big day for the Gimp today re..

Off to training.. then the draft as a special guest. And in between all of that.. the equivalent of a slab re. Rounding off the night with my 100th and something Tinder date for the yr.

Wish me luck.



Go to Netflix.. press on on Spartacus.. thinking f man.. can't wait to watch this series.. get the doritos ready and that re.. a Greek dip and that re.. press play.. take a bite of the cracker.. then I pause for like half a minute as the cracker kinda like just falls on my chin and on my shirt and onto my designer rug.. then I'm like.. f this s**t.. what the f I'd this s**t.. a midday movie with dickhead actors and actresses.. and a malakia budget.. it's a great story Spartacus.. but piss it off if you haven't got the budget to do it justice you noobs.

I've f had it man..


Just finished off my interview with Hyne for the assistant recruiting job.. thought I did really well.. he asked me one question I had him stunned.. he goes.. 'what type of player would you like to draft to the club?'.. I go 'That's easy re Deka.. one that nutmegs Pendlebury during training.. but nods his head and makes way for him in the passage way at the Westpac Center or whatever it's called these days re'.

I think I've got the job re.



For all those who pm'd me.. asking me 'did you get the job re.. did you get the job re?' Unfortunately no re.

The interview lasted barely 5 minutes.. Deka asked me 2 questions. The second one was 'how would you describe yourself in words?'. I go 'a warriors mentality with a poet's mind re'. Then he goes 'ok thanks for coming'.

Unfbelievable re.. thought I had it in the bag re. Rare occasion where my intuition was halia re.

Oh well.. i tried for all us bigfooty folk.. at least you guys know how brilliant I am.

I f luv youz man.

You guys are greats re.


I was that good at soccer.. made the Australian University side.. I mean when you're up against Tassie Uni.. with these blokes wearing Gilligan hats and lopping around in funny lanky style running patterns.. and you can't slot a hat trick past em.. then you should give it up.. all they did was try and start me.. butcher me and s**t like that.. and I was like.. do that again and you'll cop a half crescent roundhouse Lebanese kick to the fatsa.. they were like.. haaaaaa.. and I was like.. yeah no worries re.


I'm starting to lose it re..

Went to Woolies this morning.. and I thought I knew this bloke in the toiletery aisle.. I go.. heyyyyyyyy Bazza ya bloody goose how ya been? Some might confuse your face with your ass but there's no need to wipe it.. hahahahaha.. he was just looking at me stunned for a good 10 seconds.. then he said.. do I ******* know you man.. and I'm like... oh shiy fuccck sorry man.. mistakened you for someone else.. so embarrased.. *.


I hate politics.. couldn't give a f about it.. why.. cause I'm not gonna live half my life worrying about what's right or wrong.. what's fair and equitable.. when whoever is in power gives me 50/50 anyhow.. so why bother with it.. I just accept it for what it is.. I worry about myself my family my friends my neighbors and just go out and enjoy life..

But when it comes to this.. seriously.. grow some kanuhas mate..



Oh God.. politics re.. can't escape it.

I work in a fast paced environment full of dhs and that re.. thought this site would be a great way to just be myself for a bit.. balance it all out and that re sort of a thing..

I come back from holidaying in the Maldives and St Kits in the Caribbean.. and I get nothing.. like 'how were your holidays' 'how were your holidays' and that re '.. nothing reee.

I've also put in an expression of interest to reconstruct the St Kilda Pier for $54 mil.. if I asked for all to wish me well.. I'd probably get like 1 like.. such is life I suppose.

Just gotta learn to live with the fact that the grass is not really any greener on the other side.. would have been nice if it was and that re..


Another thing that's pissing me off.. when you've got a greek/spanish/french/aussie accent the en voice search is en useless man.. I have to type the en s*t in man. How many *** remotes I've launched through the en wall out of en frustration.. en forget about it mate. It's always try saying this.. try saying that.. this search does not exist.. and im like.. yeah really.. try this you en malaka.. and the remote goes *** flying the *en ahristo.

*.

I've *en had it man. * this s**t.



Isn't it the *en worst re when you go to the footy and that with your mate or whoever re and that.. and you sit down.. you've got like a bag of *en thins chips in your bag and that re.. and you really wanna launch into em.. but you know only having the whole bag would satisfy ya.. so you don't wanna offer any and that re.. and you're sitting there with whoever and that re and you're like hoping and wishing for them to * off to the toilet and that re.. so that you can launch into em.. scoff em down and that re before they get back to their seat.. so you're sitting there 5 mins go by.. and they still haven't gone and that re.. and you're like.. oh yeah the weather's good today.. but what you really wanna say is.. * off man.. and then 10 20 mins half and hr goes by and they still have left to go to the toilet.. and you're like *en fuming inside and that re.. it's like.. fuccckkkkkk offffffff willll yaaaaaa for *s sake mate.. *en hell this *en guy mate.. but like on the outside you appear like calm and composed and that re.. and you're like how tall is Cox re.. you wouldn't know he was that tall If you haven't seen him live.. and like we've got some good blokes coming through and that re.. and who's your fav and that.

It's one of the most annoying things I reckon man. It does my fuuuucken head in mate.


(Melbourne v Dogs GF) I've got a few Dee's mates and that re sort of a thing.. there's a fair few here in Mt Martha.. I get along with them really well and that re.. Bernadette and Florence.. my neighbours.. are still very close friends of mine.. both Melbourne supporters and that re.. and although I enjoy the finer things in life.. travelling.. skiing trips.. lobsters and caviar.. truffles and Tuscan foccacias.. and Morton Bay bugs and that re.. connoisseuring fine wines.. dining it at the Flower Drum and the Vue De Monde.. my home away from home when I'm not cooking my award winning dishes.. fashion.. I'm still your male version of Jenny from the blocks mate sort of a thing.. I have never forgotten where I've come from.. got the Collingwood flag flying high here in Mt Martha.. and I'm just about to chuck a few souvs on the barbie.. forget about it mate. The sweet and fresh fragrance of bbq'd Collingwood souvs wafting all over the mountain neutralising the odours of cheese platters.. got no issue with good quality cheese and that re.. I love that s**t mate.. but not today..

Go the Dogs mate.. that's it mate!

Thank the Gods to have been born a Libra re.. a warrior's mentality.. with a poet's *en mind mate. That's it mate. *en forget about it mate.



Why not be a vegan in front your Spanish gf and that re.. and then go.. honey.. I'm just off to the supermarket for some kale.. quickly wiz by the drive through at Maca's.. get yourself a couple of juicy qrt pounders.. scoff em down as your driving to the supermarket.. buy the kale.. and go home.. you're only losing time in the drive though.. if there's like a delay in the drive through.. wouldn't be all that long.. you can just say to the gf that the supermarket was packed and that re.. so she won't suspect a thing.. and you can walk off with a cheeky grin on your face.. thinking * those qrt pounders were *en sick man.. easy Campese re.

The Sam L Jackson technique re.. 'my gf is a vegetarian.. which pretty much makes me a vegetarian.. but I do love the taste of a good burger and that re'.


Was having dinner with Rosie and her mates.. they were all from East Brunswick and that re.. these people I swear man.. you go and eat in Oakleigh and that re.. and it's chill man.. check out everyone's latest Lonsdale and Adidas gear and that re.. talk about normal s**t like clubbing and lowered to * cars and s**t like that.. and if we got lucky on the weekend and that re.. standard s**t man.. then there's Rosie and her mates.. all vegan and that re.. wearing op shop clothes and that re.. so I'm sitting there looking mint and that re.. and they're all checking out my Gino Rossi's.. and I just know what they're thinking.. like this guy's an arsehole and that re for wearing cow hide and using hairspray and that re.. and like greasing me off for ordering a steak and that re.. and I'm looking at em and that re.. thinking ok how do I make things more comfortable between us and that re.. perhaps talk about my experiences and that re.. * didn't I * things up even more and that re.. I go.. like whenever I go macas and that re.. I take a nerf gun with me to shoot like those foam thingimagigys at seaguls when they get close to me gemi and that cause they not only s**t me.. don't want em to * up the paint job and that re.. and they just paused and looked at me.. and then it was like world war 3 re.. they were like.. foam is not biodegradable.. and that's animal cruelty.. and not good for environmental sustainability.. and I couldn't be ****ed responding re.. I go.. *ennnnn chill out mate.. my mate Spiro does that s**t.. I kid you not and that re.. but If told that story to anyone in Oakleigh and that re.. they'd be like.. * re you come up with the best s**t man.. imma try it and that re.. *en sick idea and that re.. s**t like that man. They don't get all Brunswick St on me man.

Anyway.. long story made short and that re.



You'd never guess what happened to me today re.. there was this group that was sightseeing in Mt Martha today re.. and they asked me to take a group photo of em and that.. and I go.. no worries re no probs and that re.. so I grabbed one of their phones and asked everybody to say.. cheeeeese.. and there was one person in the group that said.. actually I'm a vegan and that re.. can you please say something else.. so I said ok no worries and that re.. so I said.. ok.. say tofuuuuu.. and one of em said to me tofu is not good for you as any hospital will tell you and that.. nevrrnind what vegans think it's bad for your testerone levels.. so I go.. okkkaaayyyy then.. how bout you all smile.. and there was one in the group that said.. oh if one more dickhead asks me to smile.. I go.. *en chillaaaaax re.. I'm not a dickhead I'm just taking a photo of yas and that re.. then there was another person that said what is there to smile about anyway and that.. so I said pffffffff.. ummmm how boooouttt you just put a word in your heads and I'll take the photo.. and one of em said.. that doesn't sound very inclusive now does it.. then I said.. Jesuuuuus.. then there was someone in the group that said.. what has religion got anything to do with it and that.. and there was another one that said.. well I'm an atheist and I'm now offended.. and then there was a comment.. well it's not aaalll about people and religion.. anyone think about the animals.. then I was like loookkkkk re.. what about a peace sign re.. then there was a comment about.. what about cultural appropriation re.. and I just paused for like 5 seconds or whatever re.. took a selfie.. handed it back.. and said.. am I a great or what re.. and they were like.. haaaa.. and I was like.. no wooooorries re.. turned my back.. walked off.. and never looked back..

Is it the same chain aps the one in Smith St. Coffee and a spanakopita is one of the great brekkies.

Yeah it's *en good man.. next time you're in Melbourne.. I'll take you there and that re. Just say you're my uncle from Greece or something like that and don't talk too much.. just kinda look around like you're a fish out of water.


That there is my dog.. obviously black & white had to.. Emilio Rebenga. Some can't pronounce his surname so I kept the Emilio. I remember taking him to his first vet visit.. the doc asked me what's his name.. I go Emilio Rebenga.. he goes haaa? I go Emilio Rebenga re.. he goes.. ohhhh okaaayyy.. he thought it was weird.. then I said.. hes got octopus coming out of his f ears re.. then he goes.. are you allright re.. then I go.. are you allright re.. anyways re.. great name.. Emilio fashionable name when I'm walking the bugger round the tan and s**t re makes me look Spanish and s**t re.. and great name when I get pissed off with him re.. Rebengaaaaa.

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(Gimp’s dog, Emilio) I rarely let him inside the house.

He's priceless and so are my red gum floorboards and Italian leather couches.

Built him a 4 by 4 sq mtr kennel fully equipped with heating and cooling.

He enjoys his independence and so do I.



Spare a thought for the Gimp today re.. gotta shower 4 times.. work.. footy.. Tinder.. then finally settling down with my Fwb in Mount Martha.. just when you think you've got it hard.. my days full on from the time I wake up up until the time I fall asleep at 4 in the a.m tonmorow.

Hope that puts life in perspective a bit sort of a thing and that re.


I'm in the process of writing a track about my experiences watching footy during covid.

I'm having my standard glass and a half of grapa
It's made by my grandpa
Then I'll launch into a slab for the game
Getting tipsy is my aim
Where's my water bottle
I think I went too full throttle
Oh no I need to go for a stroll
Where's the porcelain toilet bowl

How good is that re?



Watching swans with their lil flappers.. is the same sort of feeling I get out of watching Collingwood play a good brand of football.. surfing in Gunnamatta.. sitting on a beach towel and staring out into the *en yonda.. wearing a good pair of quality boots.. a DJ reading a crowd and playing good s**t.. a good quality Manhattan.. Rusty nail.. pina coloda.. a well prepared meal.. landscaped gardens.. launching a pill 300 metres straight down the guts at the Dunes.. sitting in a rock pool at the hot springs at 6 in the evening watching the sun set whilst sipping on a chards.. smiling and having fun with it.. all the same s**t to me.. it's a feel good thingimagigy.. it's beauty.. it's everywhere.


Going in for my Moderna this week or the following.. 2nd dose 28 days later.. booked in for a trim at Serge's on the 26th Oct.. might stick with the man bun this time 'round.. just trim it a bit here and there and that re.. make it look wild yet neat and business gentlemanly like.. ample time to purchase a coupla suits.. get em tailored and all that sort of stuff and that re.. impeccable timing for the Spring Racing Carnival and the clubs and bars and that re considering picnics are not really.. my thang.. enough time to turn the 6 pack into an 8 pack.

Overall results of today.. feels like I've peaked for the GF re and walked away with the Norm Smith mate.. flaming lamborghini'd it to the fininishing line.. So pretty happy. Makes me wanna make an offer of 280 mil for Packer's luxurious super yacht mate. Forget about it mate.



Anyone watch mafs last night.. james the prestige car company owner told Jo the hairdresser from Frankston that she means nothing to him.. jo lost it re. James is a bit of a vegetable.. he shouldn't have said that.. but he's smart enough to know that anyone from Frankston turns out to be like a stage 5 clinger after a week of dating or whatever re.. the frankston region is strictly NSA..


I just want the Fly to be himself.. if he wants to beat his chest at times.. talk s**t the truth.. whatever.. go for it. Be clever about it.

This whole 'we don't want to be a chest beating culture club'. it's all bs.

Natural natural natural.

What looks better and wins in the end when you're dancing the Zorba re.. counting your steps.. 1 2 3 4.. kick.. 1 2 3 4.. kick? Or just going with the flow.. letting it rip.. feeling in it re?



These stories are hilarious. If you play it smart enough you can do very well for yourself. I know.. I have.

Got my folks bunnings vouches for Easter.. cause I couldn't decide what I wanted.

I always buy my parents gifts I'll take ownership of in the future.. bought my folks a quality blowvac for the lawn.. they loved it.. it now belongs to me.
 
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The Covid Cooking Competition

Is there anything I haven't won on here re.. cooking comps.. poster of the yr awards..

Am I a *en great or what re.



We've had 1/4 prawn with I dunno sunrice.. green pepper gemista.. frozen schnitz.. kalamata olives straight out of a jar.. road kill pav.. glued rice..

I'm not sure most of you are taking this cooking competition all that serious.

Might have to abandon it.. out of respect for myself.


What makes me a good cook.. I just think I'm incredibly precise.. I don't cut corners.. I don't get lazy.. I departmentalize everything.. I don't get flustered.. and if for whatever reason I don't get it right.. I might eat some of it.. but I never give any of it to guests. It basically has to be close to perfect.. or it's not good enough.. I really struggle cooking half assed jobs.. if I opened a taverna.. I would probably go broke.


(Sunblest bread controversy) You know what greatness is.. I tell you what greatness it.. recognizing that bread is in the background.. keep it simple.. like painting your walls white.. then you create magic with your decor and furniture and s**t like that.. the more you over complicate your bread with an over abundance of vlakia style minerals and herbs kai malakies .. the more you limit yourself as far as your creativity goes.. youve basically painted all your walls these obscure colors.. what the f good is that for.. seafood meat platter followed by a bite of something that resembles that rock creature out of the neverending story.. no thanks. People are missing out on lifes very essence.

These Rock of Gibraltar style loafs are only ever good on their own.. the f I'd combine em with anything else. Bit of butter perhaps.


I really don't understand what all this bread is good for.. Sunblest is more flexible.
You can toast it.. you can make a sandwich with it.. I'm looking at GCs bread.. and what's it good for? Can't toast it.. turns to fiberglass.. you can't make a sandwich with it cause it's too concentrated and filling.. the only thing it's good for.. break off a piece here and there with a bit of feta.

I've eaten in some of the best restaraunts all over the world.. the last thing I wanna do is go nuts on bread.. then look at platter of beautiful meat and seafood.. seriously.. how many of us hold off on eating bread at a taverna.. bread is bullshit re.



I think I have done a stunning job judging the competition..

Champion Gimp.. Juggernaut

2-4th Wow factor.

5th Soups raw naturally gifted/talented knocking on the door of the top 2-4.

6-9th good cooks.. lack enterprise.. tools.. quality materials.

10-14th well.. forget about it re.

Just got a PM from the Jah.. he cooked that in Feb. With these cyclonic winds and Flat Stanley like calf muscles.. impossible not to kiss the concrete on his way back in..

As such I've got to continue to remain impartial and I've got no choice but to drop him down to 4th spot in the rankings with 1 strike.


Cooked a steak with bearnaise sauce tonight. A beautiful tarragon flavoured French sauce made from clarified butter vinegar shallots egg yolks herbs and s**t like that.. my speciality dish.. had one of my fwb's in Paris teach me how to cook it.. so please.. don't even attempt at giving it a burl.. only reserved for European Aristocracy re.. not going to post it as such.


Ti les re.. I was knocking off Akis Petretzikis's recipes one after the other re.. from pastitsio.. to baklava.. to loukoumades.. to kataifi.. like I was ******* shelling peas re. The only competitor to show some form of enterprise was ss.. with his delicate looking sweets.. but couldn't place him 2nd.. cause it was purely just sweets.. others marinated some meat and threw it onto a barbie.. standard stuff.. you've got to really nail it if you're cooking simple foods that require min prep work ala jah and jbs work for eg.. but it's not what champions are made off. You need that element of surprise.. ingenuity.. originality and all that sort of s**t.


Jumper presentations for the Lavazza Double Dollop Thickened cream pulverized bushels Turkish coffee Cup

Gimp 2
Ss 10
Jah 4
Good ol 22
Jb 7
Soups 13
Mg 38
Gh 5
SirL 37
Gc 1
Tgg 33
Jb 9
Vp 44
Jmac 18
M5 47
Sr 40
Neilk 31


Couple of the competitors have incurred strikes for bringing this great all emconpasing competition of 'ours' into disrepute.. the jah and vp.. and ss and GoodOl are on the verge of a strike as well under section 2 subsection a of the Gimp constitution and s**t like that.. if folk aren't careful.. 3 strikes and a subsequent 1 yr suspension is on the cards.


Magpie_Marty pm'd me and that re.. posted a photo of KFC in an earlier post... he now wants in for next season's cooking competition. Presented him with the number 32 guernsey.. and is ranked 10th.. cause I know he can do a lot better than that.

Congratulations M_M.

May your cards be live.. and your pots be monsters



Rankings as at 12 Sep 2020

Lavazza Calder Park Turtsko Pulverised Coffee Dilmah Black Tea Broady Dishlickers Cup.

Proudly sponsored by Embassy taxis. Psarakos Market. Fully restored lowered to the * Gemi Appreciation Association.

Penalties strikes and suspensions inc.. pending penalties may result in a change in rankings.

Rankings as at 12 Sep 2020.

1. Gimp
2. Ss - penalty pending (assistance from family member - beef dish)
3. Good ol
4. Jah - 1 strike (bringing the comp into disrepute - uploading photo of steaks from Feb 2020)
5. Soups
6. MG
7. Jb
8. Jb
9. SirL
10. Vp - 1 strike (bringing the comp into disrepute - verbally abusing judge), penalty pending (assistance from hubby - rice dish)
11. M_M
12. GC
13. Tgg
14. Jmac
15. M5
16. Neilk
17. Sr
18.

TD has until 5pm eastern standard time 12 Sep 2020 to accept/reject offer to join the competition.


Forced?

C'mon re.. I've always thought of you as a good cook.. but you're not 10 material as yet.. cutting a tomato.. lettuce.. opening up a jar of kalamata olives.. marinating a piece of chicken and frying it.. that's fine.. did an ok job.. but other competitors have started from scratch.. and there was that famous rice you cooked with hubby..

You're lucky to still be in the competition given you cheated.. so a 14th spot is not a bad starting point to push for a top 10 spot for next seasons Lavazza Cup.. with a bit of luck.. we might see you push for a top 6 spot by 2023……………………………….



Relegated 4 spots from 10th to 14th.. collusion with hubby on gluggy rice dish.


You guys inspired me to head on down to 400 Gradi last night and that re.. the fettucine al fungi and arrabiata was delightful. The combination of red onions hot salami and olives on the arrabiata.. winning combination.. that s**t inspired my award winning Lavazza Turkish Coffee Cup pizzas and that re..

The 2010 Sticks Bortrytis went down well with the fungi and arrabiata. A beautiful Riesling from the Yarra Valley.

Finished off the night with tortino al cioccolato. One of my fav desserts.

Can't help but give the joint another 9/10. They have never dropped their standards in all the years I've been going. So can't recommend it highly enough and that re.



Am I a great or what re..


My Pavs feelings are still hurt Gimp

C'mon re.. when it's blatantly obvious.. watta ya want me to say re.. you didn't flick header it on to the plate.. or go over a few speed humps after you picked up from Wollies for $12. I say it how it is. Still managed to make my top 4. Thought you did a great job.

You threw your hat into the ring.. youz all did and that re..

Some dickhead from Turkey s**t himself though. Not naming any names and that re. Missing in action.



My cooking was like 11/10 and that re.. but thought.. f man.. no one's perfect.. so I thought I'd throw in a coupla slices of the canstar award winning Tip Top slices of bread and pizza bases and s**t like that to appear less intimidating.. I did it for you guys.. it was a deliberate selfless act.. which pretty makes me perfect.

At the end of the day and that re.. 2018 bf poster of the yr.. 2019.. was way ahead in the voting as well.. then I did the Sunblest re.. didn't wanna come across as perfect.. so I plucked Jen out of obscurity and told her to open up her own training thread.. all for the board mate.. took off like wildfire.. basically handed her my 2019 bf poster of the yr award.. selfless act on my behalf.. 2020.. well I've got it in the bag again.. add the bf cooking medal.. a great re..

Humble enough to have 0 medals beside my name.. in the drawer re.. it's never been about parading em around like a hot shot.. I seek no disturbance with the Gods.

A true great re.

Ade.


Thought it was an Herculean effort on my behalf to take home the inaugural Lavazza Turkish Coffee Cup with the likes of the quality of ss good ol MG 007 TGG Soups M_M The Good H and the SirL all performing really well. I had to perform when it mattered most.. and I did.. I had no choice but to judge my cooking as the best in season 1 re.

I haven't produced the goods in the while on here re.. become complacent.. you can even say that I'm still suffering from a Lavazza Turkish Coffee Cup hangover somewhat and that re.. so I'm giving myself the 8th ranked spot.. I was almost going to relegate myself to Div 1.. a 300-1 chance just like the Greeks in the Euro's 2004 re.. it's going to take every ounce of my very being to go back to back.. so we'll see how we go in season 2.


The record shows.. Argentina World Cup Champions 1986.. the hand of God is football folklore.

If you think i rigged the results.. I've already taken home the cup.. and you can beat your head silly against the brick wall over the hand of God for the rest of your life. I got you in more ways than one.

For the record.. the ladder was a fair reflection of the food that was on show.. everyone did a great job.. and I'm looking forward to seeing what everyone comes up with in 2021.

I will be the judge of ladder positions again.. so can't wait. It's going to be hard to back it up again with another trophy but we'll see how we go. Fingers crossed I'll do ok.


It's pretty spot on and that re.

Youd have to say those in the top 4 will be thereabouts again next season.. 5-7 with a decent pre season might surprise a few.. 8-13 well it's not about ladder position for them next season.. 2 or 3 decent pre seasons under their belts bit of r&d and reality checks and s**t like that and you might just see em challenge for that coveted 3-4 spot.

For an inaugural season.. thought everyone performed wonderfully well based on their abilities.

Yeah I won the trophy.. but cooking was the real winner in the end.

Bring on season 2021.



Look.. I ran the comp.. and I placed myself in 1st spot.. what was there.. 12 entrants.. some thought I was bias.. prejudice.. others thought that they deserved to jump a spot or 2.. but we all agreed in the end that the ladder was a fair reflection of what was overall.. a great season.. some need to improve.. others like yours truly.. like water off a ducks back re.


2021 Cooking Competition info

Premier League:

Gimp Jah ss jb tgg soup sor

Division 1:

Gc vp sr neilk m5 iMac

Rules:

There's one vacant spot up for grabs in division 1. Gimp to chose from a list of nominees. Those wishing to drop out of the competition can do so. If you can't handle the heat.. then get out of the kitchen and that re. You can drop out of the premier league.. but positions will not be gifted to division 1 competitors. A 3rd provisional league may be added depending on numbers.. min of 4 competitors. Those who drop out of division 1 will be replaced by provisional league participants.

Remember guys to do well.. take note of why I won the championship. Intracy and complexity of design.. taste.. attention to detail.. variety.. flamboyance.. all that sort of s**t.

There will be 3 judges.. one for each division.. I will be in charge of the premier league.. you can nominate who you want in charge of the other 2. Discussed with a few via PM that this will serve to eliminate any unjust bias and s**t like that that might enter the competition. A competition which we hope we can keep pure just like our season 1. There will be promotion and relegation system set in place as well. So we've all got something to cook for.. those in the lower divisions have the opportunity to taste victory albeit not at the elite level.

Good luck guys.

Looking forward to another great season. Pick up the momentum and make it even greater.

Enjoy the rest of your day.

Gimp
 
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Membership

De Goey's a gem.

If we lose him.. membership will be on its way to Werribee.



Even just a glimp of Blair on the CFC website makes me reach into my Dolce and Gabbana wallet for my membership.. seeing him on our extended bench has resulted in it being microwaved. I've had it!


If Magden is named as an emergency to the emergencies.. I will Milwaukee grind my membership.

I have f had it man.. that's it for me.



There's only one MM re.. and now there's only one MMM.. you know who that is re..

Magden Membership Microwave.

If he gets picked.. you know what's going on max microwave power re..

I have f had it man.. that's it for me man.


I'm starting to see more value in a tattered and torn 10 yr old uno card than my membership if we continue playing the Madge.


The cynic in me says.. if the Madge gets selected today.. the microwave is gonna get a good ol fashioned work out. I've had it man.


Magden.. for crying out loud.. my membership is now sitting on top of the microwave.. if he comes on.. it's going in.. I can't any more.


My membership is officially on it's way to Werribee sewerage farm via the mcg toilets


(De Goey injury) * thought it was a broken ankle.. threw my membership off the west gate bridge.. now I've gotta call for yet another replacement for *s sake.. even when I call the membership hotline.. and just say hi.. they know who I am before I ask for it re.. they're like.. heyyyyyyyy how you been mate another one no problem.

 
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Sage advice and handy tips

A man needs a bit of madness or he dare not cut the ropes and be free - TheGimp

Ok re.. I'll give you the best advice you'll ever receive in your life.

Life is like a football season.. injuries.. bad luck.. good luck.. small wins.. big wins.. getting panced.. pansing someone.. being in front by a s**t load and losing your s**t and winning or losing by a small margin.. making good decisions.. making bad decisions.. the list continues..

That's life re.. if you understand this.. make your decision.. and move on to the next.. and quit worrying about what could have been.. rejoice in the good and bad.

I f love you man.. you're a f great re.



It's like life re.. you're holding the best starting hand in poker.. pocket As.. the worlds your oyster re? You've still only got a 75% chance of winning with the best hand.. it's not that great a %.. so when you lose with it.. no need to get upset re..

Not easy.

Just enjoy every day.. roll with the punches re.


How is it that life is like a box of chocolates.. you never know what you're gonna get and that re..

Do we not open up the box with our eyes open and go straight for the nut whirls and avoid the dark chocolate and orange and caramel flavoured ones instead opting to hand them ones over to our folks sort of a thing.. and say s**t to em like.. they're *en sick.. I'd have em and that re.. but I'm not selfish.. I want you to have em.. and that re?



Look everyone.. you watch.. the voice.. xfactor.. mkr.. and s**t like that on tv.. if you're fame/riches and s**t.. won't happen for ya re.. it's gotta be done out of love and s**t.. if you do it out of love.. the rest of the s**t will fall into place. De Goey loves the club loves his football.. and will be rewarded monetarily and s**t if he keeps going about his business and not worrying about it too much re.

You gotta listen to what's his face.. Guy Sebastian re.. I model my life of his philosophies and s**t. When I go to Mykonos leave my inhibitions behind and that re.. swirl my g bangers on the podiums and that.. and have the time of my life.. don't wanna come back saying f I shoulda done this and that and s**t.. I come home with a smile on my face and that re.


The Gimpos's daily wisdom nugget proudly sponsored by the lavazza black percolated half caffeinated decaffeinated caf caf Turkish tea cup in conjunction with Hazz Kebabs and Kenwood surround sound subwoofer systems and lowered to the * fully restored chap lap gemis and fully sick productions..

'If you've had success with one style of after work Corp or clubbing style of ******* shirt or whatever.. it's best to have a spare in your collection. It's always difficult waking up the next day at 3 in the pm hungover and s**t like that with gin and scotch and lipstick all over your collar and the rest of your shirt and stuff like that.. and then have to wash the damn thing stumbling around and s**t when you can't be ****ed but you know ya have to. cause it bought you success the night before.. and it makes you a sure thang for another night at the clubs the following night.. and stuff like that.. if ya know what I'm saying sort of a thing mate'.

Subscribe to the Gimpos's daily wisdom nugget channel for some great advice on how to achieve success and fullmiment in your daily lives.

May your cards be live.. and your pots be monsters.

xxoo



The Gimp's daily wisdom nugget proudly sponsored by Psarakos Market Northcote Plaza and Alpine surround subwoofer sound systems.

Guys.. when blow drying your hair and styling it and s**t like that. It's imperative you have hairspray and gel and s**t like that within arm's reach. Why? If you have to walk a distance or reach into the draw to get the hairspray or gel.. by the time you get back in front of the mirror.. all the work you put in to blow drying your hair will go to waste.. cause it's moved a bit and that re..

Blow dry your hair.. get it where you want it to be.. looking mint.. don't move.. reach out for the hairspray at arms reach.. and start spraying. And hey presto.. you've got the hair style you wanted.. without ******* it up cause you moved and that re.

The Gimps daily wisdom nuggets.. making life easier.


Tinder can make you feel like a rockstar.. but it's not the greatest thing spending time with people you have no real connection with. The more you date.. the more you become disensitized from the process. The butterflies diminish over time.. date after date..

Find someone you love Dave.. that's a lot more exciting and fun.



I'm thinking of capitalizing on my popularity on bf and going mainstream on YouTube and that re.. giving advice on fashion.. hair and makeup.. fragrances.. fitness.. and just life in general and that re.. the gorillas I make from sponsors I will pump back into bf.


(Gimp’s advice on how to follow the draft and pick up at the same time)

Go to a Greek cake/coffee shop where blokes in Lonsdale and Adidas gear and pointy sideburns stare at you for hours.

Now you're set re..

If you're a lil overwhelmed by it all.. you'll just fit in by ending every sentence with 'you know what I mean'.. guaranteed they'll ask you what part of Greece you're from if you do that.. just come up with some s**t after that and you're part of the parea re.

go to an op shop and you'll find an old silk shirt some Greek bloke had in his closet for 30 yrs that his wife was complaining about getting rid of it for 20 yrs until he finally decided to agree to it.

Go to a Greek cafe wearing it.. and use Guido terminology. Watch the draft and pick up.

Good luck re.

Happy to help out anytime.

But will there be a Foxtel screen showing the draft? And will I be able to follow it with all the stares, conversation and 30 year old women fawning over me?

No..just pretend your messaging constantly on your phone when in fact your watching the draft updates on it.. it'll give everyone in the cafe the impression you're popular.. then the choice is yours.. when you're not watching the draft.. sip on your Greek coffee like a manga.. if you don't smoke.. go buy a pack.. just have it sitting there.. or light one up.. swirl the smoke in your mouth.. then blow rings.

Guaranteed you'll watch the draft and get lucky.

Glad to help.



It's that time of the season where we've gotta start thinking about styling for the finals.. wanna be ready for next Saturday and that re.. a good idea to book in to your local hairdresser for a bit of a trim and that re.. I booked a trim and beard manicure with Serge tommorow. Important to get it down by Friday I'd say.. perfect timing to allow the cut to settle by next week and that re..

I know how hard it can be on the day to chose a nice pair of stylish boots or shoes particular one's you're mates haven't seem ya wear and that re.. so best to polish 3 to 4 pairs of em and that re. So you're not running around on the day thinking oh f.. what boots to wear re.. what boots to wear.. wouldn't recommend sneakers.. but if you're gonna wear em.. make sure that rubber bit in between the body of the shoe and the sole is clean for crying out loud..

Parfums and EDT's and s**t like that.. you know the drill.. head off to the city a lil earlier and make a v-line for the fragrance departments at Myer or David Jones.. ask to sample Creed Aventus or Bleu de chanel.. just play it smart.. grab the bottle.. and ask the salesperson what they think of it and that re.. whilst they're yapping away.. squirt like a you know what re.. and give the impression you're actually interested in what they've got to say by saying s**t like 'oh yeah.. is that right.. yeah so yeah.. aggghhh ok really. Oh really no s**t re.' s**t like that.. get a good 8 to 10 squirts on your apparel.. and off you go re.. smell like a f God re.

Happy to help.

Any questions?


Found another great use for bigfooty.

The other day I arrived early at a cafe for a Tinder date.. like 1 hr or some s**t like that.. so I logged onto bigfooty to give everyone the impression I was popular by texting and s**t.. was able to pick up before my Tinder date arrived BC I looked personable with a great smile and that re..

Would recommend it to anyone who goes out on there own and is looking to pick up.



For those of you heading to the G tonight. Cold night means cold feet and s**t like that.. The Gimp recommends these. They're f excellent re.. I wear em when I'm doing renos and s**t outside as well. Think they were $1.70 or some s**t like that from Bunnings. When s**t is $1.70.. I don't look at the price.. I just get it re.

Give em a crack.. guaranteed you'll be back for more.

Another handy tip from the Gimp.. at an affordable price.

1678584924804.png

Activity time with the Gimp.. get yourselves some nails.. hammer em into an old pair of sneakers.. and you've got yourself a lawn aerator and a free reflexology session as well re.. how ******* good is that re..

Easy to make.. fun and enjoyable to use.

Important only to wear the one aerator sneaker on one foot.. and a good pair on the other foot. Don't be a dickhead and wear the 2 aerators at once.. you might end up flat on your ass and that re.. if you've got an all purpose lawn fertilizer.. add that s**t on immediately after you've aerated your lawn.

We've had decent downpour lately.. so ger your asses out there.. and give it a crack re.. build up the thighs re.

Normally I'm relaxing at the Mornington Peninsula Hot Springs at this time of yr.. engaging in reflexology and s**t like that.. and I've got my $800 lawn aerator out for lawn maintenance and s**t.. but figured this is more mass appealing.

More handy tips brought to you from the Gimp yet again. * I should get a ******* sponsor to jump on board re.. am I a ******* great or what re.

Enjoy..

1678585025670.png


Now that it's the wet season re.. it's time to waterproof your boots and shoes and s**t.. no need to spend any cash if you've got
wd-40 re.. spray that s**t on a cloth and wipe your boots and shoes with em and that re.. you'll thank me for it re. Works wonders.

Glad to help.


For those of you who wanna question why I don't remember the name of Collingwood's home ground re.. the answer is simple.. it's cool to go out and see some familiar faces and remember their names and s**t but act like 'oohhhhh yeah.. I kinda remember you re.. or 'ahhhhhh I'm not sure we've met re'. It's fashionable to do that s**t re.. there's another one of my many wisdom nuggets for yas re.

You guys are greats re.



Organize an overseas trip for 6 gorillas.. get 6 gorillas worth of dental work done for half of a gorilla.

All expenses paid trip to an exotic location and dental work.. or get in a dental chair and buy milk and bread on your way home.

I had all my front teeth capped for bugger all overseas.


Great way of saving $6-7 per bag of manure for your lawn and kipo is to go to Bunnings and ask if it's ok if they can discount the s**t that has damaged plastic for the price of a $1 or $2 re.

Managed to to pick up 14 bags of the s**t with a retail price of around $126 for $28 re. I promise.. I did not damage the bags myself re. I swear re.

I'm a f great re.



I'm gonna go and chill out re.

Enjoy the rest of your night.

Have a coupla pieces of fruit for a youthful more radiant look for the game tommorow. And f sticking cucumbers around your eyes.. you squeeze that s**t on em before you go to sleep. So you don't look like you haven't slept. And if you can.. lay on your back whilst sleeping.. helps with circulation and s**t re..

This routine I've used every Thurs or Fri night if I'm going out the next night clubbing and s**t re to good effect re.. you can be liberal with the cucumber juice.. carry a cucumber in your pocket or whatever and dab some on your eyes when needed..

Ade Gia for now.

******* go Piiiiieeeees!


Teach you an easy trick.. grab a peeler.. and peel some zucchini into thin slices.. fry em like you're cooking chips.. then when you can see em brown and crisp up a lil.. take the buggers out and add some salt..

It's the simplest meal.. but f.. I do it at least a coupla times a week.. can't get enough of it at the moment.
 
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Am I a great re

People often ask me how the f do you get players right all the time.. I have an incredible instinct to read a player within a matter of seconds re.. it's a gift.. a 6th sense or some s**t like that. Maynard to stay in defence. Frost being a cheat.. sticking fat behind De Goey Sidebottom Scharenberg over the yrs. Appleby.. etc etc. Can almost read their thoughts out there.

It's been an absolute pleasure of mine assisting folk on here in understanding the game a lot more.

That's my gift to you.

You guys are greats re.



Has there ever been anyone in the history of recruitment and s**t like that that has been accurately able to gauge where a players career is heading over the course of 10 yrs.. just by simply looking at em play for 5 minutes with hand on chin.. no notes mate. The runs are on the board mate.

I can't teach you how to pick a winner.. it's a combination of being worldly and s**t like that.. travelling to all 5 continents.. knowing my fragrances.. the value of a good hairdresser.. the fact that shoes maketh the man and that re.. and a twinkle in the eye mate.. that's it mate.

Get me on board re Hyne ffs re.


Better not close $2 shops man.. occasionsly I like to help out local business and s**t like that.. give em a few bob and that re.. been doing it for yrs now.

Wasnt going to tell yas and that re.. I think I came up with a theory that actually works in practice.. a theory that has baffled the greatest minds for centuries and that re...

One day I go in buy some screwdrivers Phillips heads and ******* s*t like that.. go home start using em.. i go fuccckkkkk man.. these things ****** twist and bend and s**t like that man.. alchemy is in my biceps mate. Newton's got nuffin on me man.

Should I maybe do sumfin about it? Could make millions out of it or whatever man? Maybe go on shark tank or sumfin like that and that re. Maybe set up a stage with a mannequin of isaac Newton's fatsa and I'll come out with a tank top and launch apples at the campaigner and that re.. and then bend a piece of steel and that re.. and say to Steve Baxter.. mate.. its all in these perfectly toned and tanned bicep muscles mateeeee.. i still need to put on a few kgs and that re cause I've got tools and that made in Finland and Germany that I think I need a few more sessions at gym for me to bend and that re..

I reckon I'd have him stunned with a look like.. where have you been all my life and that mate.. I'll conclude the presentation by saying something like *en.. who needs brains in their cranium..when you've got em in your *en biiiiiccceeeepppsssss maaaaate.



My beauty is my curse and that re. I've learnt to live with it. Nothing I can do about it re.. I try and act like a braindead dickhead to counter act it.. f I always get.. 'hmmm I don't think you're that dumb for some reason'. It's the combo of Greek charm.. striking good looks.. demeanor and a high level of intelligence and fashion sense and s**t like that gets them every time.

Oh well.. thems the breaks mate.


I love it all re.. when I'm in beast mode in front of the mirror at the gym.. 72 kilos of monster f determination and s**t.. when I'm blow drying my hair and applying moisturizing cream in front of my bathroom mirror.. when I'm doing electric boogaloo in front of my mirror in the bedroom and that re..

See.. there's plenty of facets to my personality. I'm definitely not one dimensional and s**t like that. Pretty much makes me a well rounded good bloke and that re.

Sorry gotta go.. off for a late lunch at the flower drum.. then dinner at the vue de monde.. followed by meeting my Tinder date for a coffee at a cafe.

Ade gia for now.. chat later.



Is it ok if i delete any posts i have written that i failed to get a like.. so i can give everyone the impression im the most popular poster on bigfooty?


I just have the knack of getting it right.. hairstyles.. fashion and s**t re. A good eye for what works and what doesn't work.

Transferable skills re.. the ability to pick up who's a good player and who's not. Over the yrs I've hit the mark more than most on here.. player talent.. where they belong on the pitch and s**t re..

So when I say to you.. go and get a haircut and I want it this way.. then go and do it.. then come back to me and say.. 'thanks re you've changed my life'. That's what it's about re.

I luv youz man.



Is there any way of 'liking' your own posts re?


It's nice to receive the poster of the month of March and April.. first time someone's has won it in consecutive mths.. but that's not what I'm about.

It's nice to receive apologies from mods.. bigfooty royalty and debutant posters who thought Scharenberg was on the periphery of our best 22.

Although I've had to deal with my inbox flooding with apologies.. actually quite humbled by it all.


Q&A.. feel free to fill in.

Kill a bitta time before our next game re.

Nickname: Hollywood. Stud. Greek God
Funniest BF Poster: Myself
Most Inspiring Movie: Alladin
Favourite Artist/Actor/Actress/Character: Ali G.. Guido Hatzis
Your passions outside AFL: Fashion. Subwoofers. G bangers.
Life Motto: Thank the Gods to have been born Greek
Your best traits: Hair and perfectly sculptured toned and tanned calf muscles.
Favourite holiday spot: Santorini. Meteora. Tahiti
Favourite food: Pastitsio. Kefalograviera cheese.
Best advice you've received: You're a star
Hidden talents: Bouzouki. Chess. Manila
Do you have any pets: 2 Canerinia


After 4 mths worth of negotiations.. pleased to announce an agreement by admin to pay the Gimp $650 matchday payments. Initially demanded a gorilla per matchday but reasonably happy with the outcome and you guys mean more to me than material things and s**t like that re.

The Gimp will be on board once again this yr for special matchday comments.

You guys are greats re.



Love me or hate me.. I am a f Oracle re.

It's a pity I only post 5% footy.. but when I do.. f I'm one of the greats re.

I should learn to be a lil more unselfish and let people in.. One of the most brilliant minds.. in bigfooty re.

When has the Gimp ever got it wrong re..

Ade re..

Time for a Tinder ladida or 2 to celebrate re..


Am I a great or what re.. most were expecting a big loss.. the Gimp walks in and says.. 'We'll win this' and 'expect somewhat of a 4 qrt performance'.. and 'expect Aish to be influential in the guts and on the wings'.. and 'our forward line is great just needs to spark up'.

Who wants me as their mentor re?

Happy to sit with someone during a game of footy at $120 an hr re.

Whirpool footy re.. throw some spanners in there.. it's impossible to coach agst.. and the players love it.. it's as simple as that.


Look.. I'd love the opportunity to coach Collingwood.. what happens if they didn't make me an offer and another club did? Would you guys be ok with that? Will I still be viewed as a great?


I've put in a request for a sainthood re.. 'The patron saint of the gym kickboxing and half turn Lebanese heal kicks'.

Started writing a prayer for Saint Gimp re

Our Gimpy who arth at the gym
Massive be thy biceps
Give us this day our daily steroids


And you guys finish of the rest re..
 
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I'm half way through fragrances right now. So funny. You've done amazing job pulling this together TGG. I reckon it woulda made Gimp all emotional and that re.. A *ing great or what re..
 
Collingwood Football Club

Story behind why I’m a Pies Supporter

My grandfather migrated from Greece in 1952 and settled here in Clifton Hill in 1952. A neighbour of his invited him to a game at Victoria Park. And he was immediately hooked. When I was a kid he used to take me to the games to watch the reserves and seniors. One thing I’ll never forget was the smell of the dirt surrounding Victoria Park and the sunburn I’d get from spending 5 hours out there in the outer. The atmosphere was like a brotherhood. The comments. People fighting over sherins flying out the back of the ground. The luke warm pies. The old score board.

My greatest memory was travelling by train home feeling like I was flying and that would remain with me for the rest of the day. It was somewhat of a spiritual experience. Win/loss there’s something magical about being a Collingwood supporter.



The core of Collingwood hasn't changed re.. we were born out of working class and that re.. my grandparents arrived in Australia and settled in Collingwood and Clifton Hill.. walked hrs to get to and from work.. my parents grew up there.. so I understand all of that.. players.. what.. back then were zoned to the club or whatever.. that's basically how the club was born and that re.. not a f historian but yeah.. but I'm f thereabouts I reckon and that re..

Now what has happened over the yrs is that folk who lived in Collingwood had sons and daughters and their daughters and sons had sons and daughters and their daughters had sons and daughters.. a s**t load moved out of Collingwood seeking a better life.. conditions.. education.. prosperity.. all that sort of s**t. So we spread not only all over Vic but all over Oz and abroad and that re..

In the case of me.. I've lived a good part of my life overseas.. I'm educated.. worked hard.. all that sort of s**t.. now why is it so wrong to bring back influences from overseas.. partying on the blocks in Ibiza and f Mykonos in my g bangers and s**t like that.. the French Riviera and Monaco.. Rome and f Tuscany.. the f list goes on and on and on.. the cuisines and fashion and s**t.. NY and f Paris.. I understand my roots lie in Collingwood.. you only need to look deep into my eyes to understand all of that.. I will never ever forget what my family has done for me in Collingwood.. but my roots lie back in Europe as well re.. so why can't I bring back those influences back to Collingwood.. make it romantic and full of color.. and f sexy.. and loud.. with a bit of that sexy samba beat.. and make the aisles dance the Paso Doble mate.. all of the good s**t I have been fortunate enough to experience in my life.. and all that re.. why not bring it back to Collingwood..

It's both a celebration of who we are at the core.. with added pastitsio.. Emilio with his cute Collingwood vest strutting his stuff.. and feragamos and rossis.. and colorful designer socks.. and Jimmy Barnes and Mitropanos.. and brut33 and la nuit de l'homme.. all the good s**t that makes us what we are today.

Collingwood to me is standing at the top of the hill in Mt Martha pulling f Arnold poses.. and having everyone yell out.. I'm Shirley Valentine and that re.. wearing a pair of colorful socks and sipping on Manhattans at a bar.. cooking and eating fine cuisine.. it's f Timberlake bringing f sexy back mate.. but never forgetting the hard work it took to get us re.. and that's all f Collingwood right there..

Collongwood is the whole f world mate.. shinning shimmering and f splendid re..


Just applied for Luke's job.

If I don't get it I'll sit in Whittlesea's one and only coffee shop and listen to lil old ladies talk s**t about how the joint has become commercialized when in fact there's absolutely sweet bugger all to do.. I'll sit there.. give them the impression I'm not listening.. when all I wanna do is plough my head through a brick wall.

I have f had it up to my eyeballs with this s**t man.. that's it for me man.



When I applied for Luke's job had to answer 'What does Collingwood mean to you?'

I simply replied with just listen to Lionel Ritchie's track.. 'You are the sun you are the rain'. Enough said mate.


Had to answer another question.. 'How does the Collingwood FC rank in your life re?'

1. Family
2. Collingwood FC
3. Tinder
4. My Mercedes which was once mass appealing I turned into a carnival car by lowering it.. adding glowing silver rims and a $10,000 system with subwoofers that go off re.. a 1 mtr high spoiler.. replacing perfect parts for fluro ones like diffs and s**t re.. so now it only appeals to the Broady region..
5. Friends

I reckon I'm in re.


(Prelim 2018 Coll v Rich)
I am seriously struggling to post.. just wanna play.. more of a nice teary emotional feeling right now.. thinking of my grandparents and how they worked so ******* hard. My grandmother would walk from Wellington st alll the way to Clifton Hill.. drop my mum off in Fitzroy.. then walk all the way back to Victoria Parade for work.

Every fist pump tonight is for you.

Every Adams hard hit.. every De Goey big time play.. every Stephenson freak goal.. that's for you man.

That's the spirit of Collingwood right there.

Gone but not forgotten.

That's why I love this club with all my heart.

Now let's go after em.

Go Pies!
Haha …I’m Shirley Valentine…lol
 
i played for Northcote on a $150 pay packet but i had the luxury of turning up to games off my nut cause i was a super talent.

Lol ..this great

Like reading Hunter S Thompson lol
If you are familiar with the guy's posts, you will know that everything he says is to be questioned. I am sure that not many particularly care whether the facts as stated are true or not. Comparing his writing to that of Hunter S Thompson is not too much of a stretch.
 
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If you are familiar with the guy's posts, you will know that everything he says is to be questioned. I am sure that not many particularly care whether the facts as stated are true or not. Comparing his writing to that of Hunter S Thompson is not too much of a stretch.
Actually knowing Gimp since 2004 in person, I can attest a lot of what he says is true and happened. I should know I was there to witness it. He also intentionally left a LOT of detail out that would likely melt down this forum. He was at his entertaining best after a few scotch and colas. He was the Wally in a world of NPC's. He was truly an old soul and a great friend. Miss him dearly.
 
Actually knowing Gimp since 2004 in person, I can attest a lot of what he says is true and happened. I should know I was there to witness it. He also intentionally left a LOT of detail out that would likely melt down this forum. He was at his entertaining best after a few scotch and colas. He was the Wally in a world of NPC's. He was truly an old soul and a great friend. Miss him dearly.
You are indeed blessed to have known him personally.

Gimp claimed to drink in moderation (?). He also freely admits to enjoying scotch and coke and is not particularly keen on beer. He boasts about his drinking prowess, but I think in his earlier posts, prior to Mt Martha and South Yarra reference etc, he tends to let slip in more personal details than when he largely identifies as the larger than life Gimp character.

I can imagine that he would be greatly missed. He is irreplaceable. There can only be one Gimp. My deepest sympathy to you. :disrelieved:
 

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I'm half way through fragrances right now. So funny. You've done amazing job pulling this together TGG. I reckon it woulda made Gimp all emotional and that re.. A *ing great or what re..
I think his posts benefit from grouping them together. There were some that fell into two or more categories and the hard decision was deciding where they best belonged. I probably went for the overkill but I didn't want to do a half arsed job.
 
Thanks so much TGG for doing this. His turn of phrase always took me back to Brunswick in the 80's and Broady in the 60's.
He was and forever shall be a legend of these boards

Re
I could not walk down Brunswick St now without viewing it and its inhabitants through Gimp's eyes. He revealed a side of Melbourne to me that I had never experienced. Personally I don't think the Hunter S Thompson gonzo style comparison a poster made was out of place. I even saw elements of Mark Twain in his descriptive style at times.

Also enjoyed his analysis of Buckley's game plan, to the point where I could see the player's bus parked in the backline and the players spewing forth, kicking and moving only sideways and ignoring anything forward. His comment that Madge's best spot would be full forward because the ball would never make it that far was amusing.

I am doing a reread now and am removing the odd post repeated and done a bit of formatting, but mainly just revelled again in the language, images and dismissal of political correctness, the flow and love of life as experienced and portrayed by the Gimp.
 
I could not walk down Brunswick St now without viewing it and its inhabitants through Gimp's eyes. He revealed a side of Melbourne to me that I had never experienced. Personally I don't think the Hunter S Thompson gonzo style comparison a poster made was out of place. I even saw elements of Mark Twain in his descriptive style at times.

Also enjoyed his analysis of Buckley's game plan, to the point where I could see the player's bus parked in the backline and the players spewing forth, kicking and moving only sideways and ignoring anything forward. His comment that Madge's best spot would be full forward because the ball would never make it that far was amusing.

I am doing a reread now and am removing the odd post repeated and done a bit of formatting, but mainly just revelled again in the language, images and dismissal of political correctness, the flow and love of life as experienced and portrayed by the Gimp.


I know its too early but really...this stuff could be a book. Just wish the folk down at the footy club would realise it as the Goldmine it is. The world according to the Gimp. "Bound for G-bangers".....or simply "Re.."
 
I know its too early but really...this stuff could be a book. Just wish the folk down at the footy club would realise it as the Goldmine it is. The world according to the Gimp. "Bound for G-bangers".....or simply "Re.."
It could easily be a book. If Gimp had written a novel, I reckon it would have been a great re. I imagine the Gimp's posts are probably bigfooty copyright? I am not up on these things.
 
Would make more sense to be on the Collingwood board wouldn't it
For reasons of his own, Gimp had not posted on the Pie's board in over a year, confining himself to the main board. It was agreed rightly or wrongly by those close to him that he would prefer that the thread be posted on the main board.
 
Would make more sense to be on the Collingwood board wouldn't it
We’ve got a couple of threads for him on our board.
There a plenty of folk who interacted with him on here so TGG thought he’d share the love.
 

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