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No, I meant that I consider 49 to be on the verge of being too young. I'm late 50s and my preferred range is 53-61. Trauma and baggage goes with the territory.

Re a dog, part of my problem is that I lived alone with my dog for five years and caring for her was a convenient excuse to shut myself away from society and ignore my own emotional and other needs. Now that she's gone I'm struck by the realisation of how much I've missed, and how much human companionship means.
 
Over The Post said:
No, I meant that I consider 49 to be on the verge of being too young. I'm late 50s and my preferred range is 53-61. Trauma and baggage goes with the territory.

Re a dog, part of my problem is that I lived alone with my dog for five years and caring for her was a convenient excuse to shut myself away from society and ignore my own emotional and other needs. Now that she's gone I'm struck by the realisation of how much I've missed, and how much human companionship means.
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I would suggest churches at that age. You may still be a bit young for widows but there may be other singles in attendance.
 
utility said:
I would suggest churches at that age. You may still be a bit young for widows but there may be other singles in attendance.
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Hillsong look like a lively bunch


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I’m single and have mental health issues, mainly depression and anxiety from my traumatic childhood. Which I have been in therapy for and am attempting to better myself.

All but given up on the dating sites, what a let down. Either way too young or too old or you are just not interested. The ones that message you that you ARE actually interested in don’t bother to message you back .
The guys that I’ve been interested in in real life ie 4 different ones couldn’t have given a crap about me.


Ill never give up on my dream but I have completely given up hope of ever finding anyone.
 
Perth gal said:
Ill never give up on my dream but I have completely given up hope of ever finding anyone.
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It's a long tunnel you're trudging through. There is someone out there, you just haven't met him yet. And you'll probably be as shocked and surprised as anyone when you do. You'll be OK. What's the shampoo ad say? It won't happen overnight, but it will happen?
 
utility said:
I would suggest churches at that age. You may still be a bit young for widows but there may be other singles in attendance.
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I would suggest it sounds as though you're right on the borderline of either taking the piss or trolling - neither of which are welcome.

Just sayin'.
 
Over The Post said:
I would suggest it sounds as though you're right on the borderline of either taking the piss or trolling - neither of which are welcome.

Just sayin'.
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Not taking the piss. I attended a meditation day a few years ago at a local church. Almost all women in attendance but most 60+. Nice ladies that would have welcomed male attention. Personally would prefer a church-goer over a Dan Murphy's-goer.
 
Perth gal said:
I’m single and have mental health issues, mainly depression and anxiety from my traumatic childhood. Which I have been in therapy for and am attempting to better myself.
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Focus on working on yourself. Consider hypnotherapy and working on your body. Mind/body connection plays a big part in healing trauma, improving health (diet/exercise/rest) will most likely provide a better hormone balance. Time, effort and support do make a difference. A family member married in his 50s to a woman in her 50s so later marriage is possible. They're still together ten years later and going strong.

I'm as blunt as a shovel - being in a relationship with someone suffering mental illness is hell and not something one should wilfully consider. It's not a red flag, it's a black flag.
 
Tinder is a rip off of Grindr, a similar app for gay guys. However, Grindr serves a purpose in letting gay guys know who nearby is gay. There's no need for this for straight people as everything assumes you're straight until told otherwise.
 
Over The Post said:
Sorry, but you're a bit young and I've seen lots of your posts... ;)

My experience is that unless you've lived a charmed life, by the time you're in your 50s you are likely to have suffered serious setbacks / calamities just in the normal course of living, and these can have long term effects. Also you're unlikely to be single unless you've been through the mill of separation / divorce, which brings its own set of problems.

It's more a case of being open and accepting that nobody is going to be perfect, least of all yourself. I consider myself quite hard done by over the last few years but jesus some of these women have been through hell, and it shows. And part of the problem is that not only do I have to be presentable enough to get a date, I then have to overcome the walls and barriers and obstacles that they have put up as a natural defence / reaction to the bullshit treatment they have suffered from arseholes before I came along.
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utility said:
Not taking the piss. I attended a meditation day a few years ago at a local church. Almost all women in attendance but most 60+. Nice ladies that would have welcomed male attention. Personally would prefer a church-goer over a Dan Murphy's-goer.
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I suffer from anxiety from time to time. I've also had bad lower back pain for a long time (or did). A mate took up yoga and told me to give it a go. Well from a physical point of view its improved my lower back no end. I used to get numbness and at worst a stabbing pain in my left thigh almost constantly. After 6 months of yoga nothing. And the mindfulness side of it is brilliant.

And then there are the females that do yoga. OMG show me a better arse than a girl that has been doing yoga for a few years.
 

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utility said:
I'm as blunt as a shovel - being in a relationship with someone suffering mental illness is hell and not something one should wilfully consider. It's not a red flag, it's a black flag.
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You are, of course, speaking for yourself and yourself alone.

There are far more people who can see past that and become a supportive partner to someone dealing with those issues.

Condemning people to loneliness until all their problems are cured isn't being blunt, it's being a dick.

In my opinion, of course.
 
DickieKnee said:
I suffer from anxiety from time to time. I've also had bad lower back pain for a long time (or did). A mate took up yoga and told me to give it a go. Well from a physical point of view its improved my lower back no end. I used to get numbness and at worst a stabbing pain in my left thigh almost constantly. After 6 months of yoga nothing. And the mindfulness side of it is brilliant.

And then there are the females that do yoga. OMG show me a better arse than a girl that has been doing yoga for a few years.
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Do a bit of yoga and can confirm, everyone there is fit as hell. If I had the courage to start conversations there it potentially could be amazing, as women out numbers guys about 10-1. Doesn't really feel appropriate though, everyone is just there to do their work-out and there isn't much chat.
 
DickieKnee said:
I am attracted to the female form.
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Things I learned today: over 35 = "mature". :oops:

I know nothing of dating in your 50s or 60s (yet to venture into a Shitbreak phase), but there are different pressures/dynamics with different ages.

I would not have thought too many people 50+ are looking for their first shot at love, marriage, family etc. but it would be way more common for people to have been married and divorced and/or have school age or older kids. The pressure of meeting someone and settling down quickly enough to have kids isn't there (although a small minority do have kids very late in life). If you are dating in your 20s and come across girls who are blasé about already having been married and/or having young kids it can be pretty confronting. A close friend of mine (overseas) is a widow at 37 with two kids under 4 and while dating isn't currently on the cards I can't even imagine what getting back into it in that circumstance would be.
 
utility said:
Focus on working on yourself. Consider hypnotherapy and working on your body. Mind/body connection plays a big part in healing trauma, improving health (diet/exercise/rest) will most likely provide a better hormone balance. Time, effort and support do make a difference. A family member married in his 50s to a woman in her 50s so later marriage is possible. They're still together ten years later and going strong.

I'm as blunt as a shovel - being in a relationship with someone suffering mental illness is hell and not something one should wilfully consider. It's not a red flag, it's a black flag.
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Thanks for that. I already am acutely aware that someone with a mental illness is not particularly attractive.
 
utility said:
Focus on working on yourself. Consider hypnotherapy and working on your body. Mind/body connection plays a big part in healing trauma, improving health (diet/exercise/rest) will most likely provide a better hormone balance. Time, effort and support do make a difference. A family member married in his 50s to a woman in her 50s so later marriage is possible. They're still together ten years later and going strong.

I'm as blunt as a shovel - being in a relationship with someone suffering mental illness is hell and not something one should wilfully consider. It's not a red flag, it's a black flag.
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What a dumb and ignorant post. I’m leaving it here because it‘s such a stupid post and it needs to be called out for that.
But don’t type shit like this again, your advice and completely wrong opinion is not needed.
Perth gal said:
Thanks for that. I already am acutely aware that someone with a mental illness is not particularly attractive.
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Don’t worry about it, it’s not worth letting that bother you. Many people who have some sort of mental illness, anxiety or trauma are wonderful people who just need some care and understanding in tough times :) Don’t give up and pm me for a chat anytime 👍🏻
 
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Wosh said:
What a dumb and ignorant post. I’m leaving it here because it such a stupid post and it needs to be called out for that.
But don’t type sh*t like this again, your advice and completely wrong opinion is not needed.

Don’t worry about it, it’s not worth letting that bother you. Many people who have some sort of mental illness, anxiety or trauma are wonderful people who just need some care and understanding in tough times :) Don’t give up and pm me for a chat anytime 👍🏻
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Thanks 🙏. ❤️
 
Be warned ^ this is a thread for light hearted discussion, not bashing people who admit they are lonely or have issues…or giving awful advice.
**** that.
 
Wosh said:
What a dumb and ignorant post. I’m leaving it here because it such a stupid post and it needs to be called out for that.
But don’t type sh*t like this again, your advice and completely wrong opinion is not needed.

Don’t worry about it, it’s not worth letting that bother you. Many people who have some sort of mental illness, anxiety or trauma are wonderful people who just need some care and understanding in tough times :) Don’t give up and pm me for a chat anytime 👍🏻
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Oh my god I didn’t even see the last part 😳

I hope you are okay Perth gal, pms are always open.
 
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