Opinion What marketing gimmicks should we implement next year?

[Beerfish]

A few marketing ideas:

1. Make prosthetic replicas of the dead severed heads of seven opposition players and their coach and mount them on the goalposts for home games. It can be a fan-voted thing to decide which players

2. Introduce a small controlled fire somewhere on the ground

3. Hack down a few trees and print off 10,000 little cardboard signs with slogans like "Have a Crack" "We are Essendon"
etc. we could petition Etihad to slash little mail slots beside all the seats so that when you're done with your signy you can easily dispose of it and forget about where it goes. But careful, don't drop your keys!

4. Do the poznan

5. Change the players race facade so that it looks like they're running out of James Hird's mouth

6. Dress up Paul Little like a young skater and have the players kiss the top of his head at the start of the match like Homer did with Hans Moleman

7. Commemorate the great Dustin Fletcher by chanting when someone is lining up from outside 50:

Do a Fletch
Have a shot
Come on give it all you've got

8. Have Greg Champion write some more Essendon- themed novelty songs

1 and 5 are particularly disturbing.

6 is hilarious.

 

[Big Fresh]

5. Change the players race facade so that it looks like they're running out of James Hird's mouth

This one's a winner.

 

[thaibomber]

geelong has that cat growl after every goal..... maybe we could have a voiceover of heardy saying " wow man, that's some good sh*t"

 

[ant555]

I hate gimmicks and wanky marketing stuff but i know i am in the minority. If i want something i buy it, if i want to go to something i go, no adds
or gimmicks make we want something or appeal to me. The world is over run by corporate pr crap made up by people who want to justify their BS job and followed by millions of sheep !!

A bit like our latest mission statement where the club has outlined what it wants to do. Hope they did not waste too much time on it because it is real captain bloody obvious stuff.

I suppose i run to a different beat, a bit like the line from one of The Offspring's songs " I'm not a trendy arseh*le do what i want do what i feel like, I'm not a trendy arseh*le don't give a **** if its good enough for you ! "

 

[ant555]

I do like the air raid siren but please FFS instruct them how to sound it properly so it is not just going off like someone strangling a chicken....

Wind for a bit, then stop winding and let it slow down, then wind again. It is not that bloody hard !

 

[Mootsy]

What about the sax man?
After every goal!
Lol

 

[TheFrenchCut]

- Marty Gleeson to be force-fed an entire cow pre-game. If he manages to finish the cow, all members who say the code "cyborg" at the Bombershop get a free "I remember Cupido" bumpersticker
- Jason Winderlich to talk the crowd through the many kinds of timber
- Each time Cooney munts one on the full, a fan is dunked into a tub of WADA-compliant* H20.

*Citation needed.

 

[blitzer]

How about we try to broker a deal with major cinemas to show replays of Essendon's premierships (as many as can be captured in the appropriate format) in a marathon movie session on the big screen (perhaps a weekend session so over 2 days). I think that would be pretty cool and would really remind everyone of the great history the EFC has.

 

[yodellinhank]

A post game whipping boy whipping conducted in the members bar?

 

[El Hirdo]

Quality thread

 

[CBombers17]

live sms voting for the crowd on which player gets dropped next week.

The name appears at the end of the game on the big screens like the video review in cricket.

 

[Fear Boner]

Winning more than 6 games for the year ?

 

[Bombermania]

I hate gimmicks and wanky marketing stuff but i know i am in the minority. If i want something i buy it, if i want to go to something i go, no adds
or gimmicks make we want something or appeal to me. The world is over run by corporate pr crap made up by people who want to justify their BS job and followed by millions of sheep !!

A bit like our latest mission statement where the club has outlined what it wants to do. Hope they did not waste too much time on it because it is real captain bloody obvious stuff.

I suppose i run to a different beat, a bit like the line from one of The Offspring's songs " I'm not a trendy arseh*le do what i want do what i feel like, I'm not a trendy arseh*le don't give a **** if its good enough for you ! "

I've lost count of the number of times that I have replied to the club's surveys with words like, you don't need to try so hard, just win premierships or beat scum, eddiewood and the mayblooms.

 

[Doss]

I vote that the club freights a shisha pipe to every member.

Every.Single.Member.

 

[LB#16]

geelong has that cat growl after every goal..... maybe we could have a voiceover of heardy saying " wow man, that's some good sh*t"

Or personalised for every player. Everytime Laverde kicks a goal "looks like a mighty fine haircut you got there son".

 

[efcboy]

I went to a lakers match a few years back - they had a deal if lakers won you got a free taco. They'd flash up the ad and crowd would sing "we want tacos" etc. was a pretty good gimmick. Lakers won a tacos for all was a winner.

Given our Mexican history we could do something similar - maybe even make it nachos and have a nacho man.

Nacho nacho man I wanna be a nacho man.

 

[CBombers17]

L

I vote that the club freights a shisha pipe to every member.

Every.Single.Member.

Pet pipes!!!

 

[Harlequin]

I vote that the club freights a shisha pipe to every member.

Every.Single.Member.

#standbyshishapipes

 

[LB#16]

I went to a lakers match a few years back - they had a deal if lakers won you got a free taco. They'd flash up the ad and crowd would sing "we want tacos" etc. was a pretty good gimmick. Lakers won a tacos for all was a winner.

Given our Mexican history we could do something similar - maybe even make it nachos and have a nacho man.

Nacho nacho man I wanna be a nacho man.

Brisbane Lions have a similar deal with Macca's. If they win a quarter, you get a free quarter pounder the day after.

 

[doug85]

This was a favorite marketing gimmick of mine.

I'm not ashamed to say i ****ing love that song.

 

[CBombers17]

Brisbane Lions have a similar deal with Macca's. If they win a quarter, you get a free quarter pounder the day after.

If we are up at half time, half priced beers @ $6 each!!

 

[Donakebab]

Invest in a blimp
A big red and black blimp roaming around the MCG like it's 1999. Not just used for game day, could drop leaflets around town with updates about our club history, injury list, upcoming events, membership applications, our community work, opinion pieces on certain sports journos etc.

I fully endorse the club being rebranded the Essendon Zeppelins!

 

[Max Headroom]

Free vaccinations at the ground. We have make sure any potential future players are used to needles from a young age and also normalise the process so that the fans don't howl for blood if the shit hits the fan again in future.

Edit: Too soon?

 

[Summer Nights]

Free wifi at the ground. It would log you in and bring up the membership page.

 

[ScrappyCoCo]

after each goal...a giant big boy floats over etihad with hirdy in it with his little finger in his mouth like dr evil