Opinion What marketing gimmicks should we implement next year?

[Marley10]

When the team plays at home, let the players douse their bodies in Essendon coloured oil (except hand) to give us a real home ground advantage. Also, attach Essendon coloured velcro to the ball and player's hands in the forward line to really give us an edge. It would make teams fear Essendon away.

Or we can always prepare Essendon coloured smoke to be released in the forward 50 of the opposition.

The key is in the Essendon colours.

 

[CourtzMajora]

This thread needs more Vince McMahon.

 

[DapperJong]

This thread needs more Vince McMahon.

I'M SORRY YA SON OF A BITCH

 

[Harlequin]

This thread needs more Vince McMahon.

He could make guest appearances when we play in Adelaide

 

[Lance Uppercut]

To be fair I was on the train and didn't realise the stupidity of the post and Beerfish's excellent owns.

um, whoosh

 

[ManWithNoName]

um, whoosh

I don't know what's going on or what my name is

 

[CourtzMajora]

I'M SORRY YA SON OF A BITCH

YOU'RE FIRED!

 

[Beerfish]

One of those fast bucks machines outside Etihad which blows around a bunch of cash. Slip on a Ryder guernsey and grab as much cash as you can.

 

[Blazeit]

Can we get like, those guitars that are like, double guitars? You know?

 

[Beerfish]

Can we get like, those guitars that are like, double guitars? You know?

Why stop there?

 

[SydneyBomber]

Why stop there?

**** that, if we're going to do something, lets do it right for once.

Doh, my phone flaking out (help mods?!)

#jokebackfireandwholooksstupidnowthen

 

[CourtzMajora]

Can we get like, those guitars that are like, double guitars? You know?

The EFC staff is complaining about the mice in the kitchen. I want to hire a new staff.

 

[DapperDon]

Must make sure we get amps that go to 11. I'm sick of this club cheaping out when it comes to volume.

 

[eth-dog]

Must make sure we get amps that go to 11. I'm sick of this club cheaping out when it comes to volume.

Going to 11 IS cheaping out. 15 for max effect

 

[Blazeit]

Why stop there?

 

[DonsRule]

F35 low fly over after each goal

 

[Mr Mojo Risin]

Oh.......well in that case, it seems all I want from the team is a game plan. They can take their remote control aeroplanes, air raid sirens, blimps, batmobiles and wobbly guys with waving arms and shove them right up their arseholes for all I care.
Less gimmick. Less bullshit. Less cash extraction. More quality football.

I reckon we keep that gimmick for home games in Bangkok.

 

[Ned_Flanders]

Half time jelly wrestling between Caro and Robbo

 

[Harlequin]

Half time jelly wrestling between Caro and Robbo

Think of the children

 

[Mr Mojo Risin]

Think of the children

At least he didn't say Caro and Phatprick.

 

[Old Campaigner]

F35 low fly over after each goal

Those things don't fly so good so maybe save them for away games

 

[DonsRule]

Half time jelly wrestling between Caro and Robbo

Entertainment at the Dreamtime game Essendon Vs Richmond?

 

[Rack Watts]

How about a series of interviews by BT, with Kyle Hardingham's Dad?

 

[Mootsy]

Penny hardaway to play full forward

 

[2one2]

A few marketing ideas:

1. Make prosthetic replicas of the dead severed heads of seven opposition players and their coach and mount them on the goalposts for home games. It can be a fan-voted thing to decide which players

2. Introduce a small controlled fire somewhere on the ground

3. Hack down a few trees and print off 10,000 little cardboard signs with slogans like "Have a Crack" "We are Essendon"
etc. we could petition Etihad to slash little mail slots beside all the seats so that when you're done with your signy you can easily dispose of it and forget about where it goes. But careful, don't drop your keys!

4. Do the poznan

5. Change the players race facade so that it looks like they're running out of James Hird's mouth

6. Dress up Paul Little like a young skater and have the players kiss the top of his head at the start of the match like Homer did with Hans Moleman

7. Commemorate the great Dustin Fletcher by chanting when someone is lining up from outside 50:

Do a Fletch
Have a shot
Come on give it all you've got

8. Have Greg Champion write some more Essendon- themed novelty songs