Worst afl player you've seen (and why)

[Silent Alarm]

Worst I've ever seen play an AFL game was an Irish kid playing for Essendon a few years back. Now fair cop to the kid, he's trying to learn a new game and it's not his fault he was selected, but that game was as bad as I've seen. Should have been back in the VFL reserves learning what the hell to do.

Worst I've seen play multiple games would have been Kane Mitchell at Port. Again, well done to him for having an AFL career, and I think by the end he did okay as a tagger or something? But I saw him play two weeks in a row in I think his first year, where clangers from him in the dying minutes were the reason Port lost close games.

Here are two follies of modern drafting and trading - things that should have been squashed for good a few years ago but somehow still linger. Who is the best Irishman in the comp? Tuohy? If he weren't Irish no one would give a shit because he's rubbish.

Kane Mitchell meanwhile probably isn't the worst player ever but he was nothing more than an effort over... anything player.

I watched him in the WAFL Grand Final for Claremont about five years ago, and he was being talked up as some great player and was going to be drafted... he was shocking... he could chase all day but he followed the football and had no idea how the game is played - he wouldn't predict runs or bounces, he didn't know how to lead... he would get so many touches because he was insanely fit but they were almost worthless - how many of his kicks went to space (and not the good sort) or went 40 metres high and barely 15 long?

He was a short arse who had woeful skills, who didn't know how to man up or watch opposition players, he didn't know where to run, and he simply had no ****ing idea. He just worked on the things he could (running and weights - he was ludicrously big for anyone, let alone a short arse rover).

I genuinely believe the only reason he got talked up was because he was lucky enough to be at a good Claremont side and because he wore bright boots and a ponytail... umpires are dickheads and when it's a state league they're just going to award votes to someone who got a lot of the ball and the one person they notice because of a weird trait (boots, hair, height, whatever else). This shit happens in amateur leagues but don't be fooled - it happens higher up too.

I mean look at Majak Daw... he is rubbish - all the athleticism in the world and he can't time a jump or break a pack or have a clue. Developers got excited because he's not from Australia and he's tall and massively built and can jump high... he's a novelty that was never ever going to pull it off. But in the rare chance he did, who looks the genius? Some scout in Werribee who overlooked someone short and average looking but who knew how to play footy.


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[JVseven]

Did you not see him in the Bombers pies game a few weeks ago? Was one of the most influential players on the ground

Clearly not.

 

[Bulldog Joe]

Nah, I'll stick to Peter Street. Bloody useless!

Street had a very good 2006 season and played a terrific game in the elimination final against Collingwood.

 

[Damon_3388]

Did you not see him in the Bombers pies game a few weeks ago? Was one of the most influential players on the ground

Still only 20 years old too, so far from the finished product.

 

[Rack Watts]

Cale Hooker

Oh that said player not campaigner. My bad.

What? He'd have to be one of the nicest players I've ever met. Ultra charitable. You're just mad because some kid talked shit to him and couldn't back it up against him.

 

[Rack Watts]

Steve Morris, one of the more useless players I've seen in a while.

Raph Clarke made no sense to me as a player, one of those Ross Lyon selections that stopped him from winning premierships.

Henry Slattery deserves a mention. His most memorable moment was being KO'd by Fev's knee.

That North Melbourne first gamer who got zero disposals, when was the last time a player played a full game and had that happen?

 

[Aeglos]

That North Melbourne first gamer who got zero disposals, when was the last time a player played a full game and had that happen?

Surprisingly hard to find a list.
Can remember Kade Simpson playing a full game and getting donuts close to a decade ago

*edit*
Had zero disposals in his first 3(!) AFL games, albeit with limited game time it seems.
Then in 2005 he had one kick from 53% game time
http://afltables.com/afl/stats/players/K/Kade_Simpson.html

 

[freddy mercury]

Cale Hooker

Oh that said player not campaigner. My bad.

Only a little salty.

 

[Boomerfan99]

What? He'd have to be one of the nicest players I've ever met. Ultra charitable. You're just mad because some kid talked shit to him and couldn't back it up against him.

Would love to see two dollar hooker pick on micky martin or spud firrito. Would have left the ground with his man bun in his hand and his teeth in a cup.

 

[schmuttt]

Clearly not.

He was in the Bombers best 3

 

[JG22]

Jackson Ferguson got towered up by Aaron Black in his one and only game

 

[TheQuietTurtle]

Street had a very good 2006 season and played a terrific game in the elimination final against Collingwood.

Didn't do much else mate

 

[Ari]

Kepler Bradley at Essendon. Was laughable. Ended up pulling a career together at Freo, but at Essendon was the whipping boy of the club.

 

[captain cotch 9]

Wasnt this guy supposed to take over from Lloyd?
hahaha what a spud

 

[1954]

Looks to me like some posters are more interested in sticking the knife into opposition spuds, while ignoring their own club's ordinary players - who would have thought?

I'll stick with my club, and my spud is Nathan Lonie, who was the softest player I have ever seen, and by the length of the Flemington straight.
How he played 100 AFL games ( combined total with the Hawks and Port ) simply defied belief, if there wasn't a fence around the oval he would have been out in the car park!

Clarko pulled off the con of the millennium when he smoked that one past Choco.

 

[RedmanWasHere]

Clarko pulled off the con of the millennium when he smoked that one past Choco.

To be fair, Nathan Lonie only played under Clarko for a season so it wasn't like Clarko had a big body of work to deal with.

I was surprised to see he played 8 seasons so even one season at Port was a season too long.

I don't know what Schwabby saw in him.

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

Who is the best Irishman in the comp? Tuohy? If he weren't Irish no one would give a shit because he's rubbish.

Tuohy is a very worthwhile player.
Hanley has put together great football, if not very recently (injuries).
McKenna is a 21 year old who has locked down a back pocket position in a team shooting for top 8 that relies on accomplished kicked in to the middle of the ground.

What I think you are trying to claim seems pretty baseless.

 

[mike123]

Didn't Nathan Louie at least have some pace and a long kick?


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[Cudi_420]

Damien Gasper.

 

[che88]

Looks to me like some posters are more interested in sticking the knife into opposition spuds, while ignoring their own club's ordinary players - who would have thought?

I'll stick with my club, and my spud is Nathan Lonie, who was the softest player I have ever seen, and by the length of the Flemington straight.
How he played 100 AFL games ( combined total with the Hawks and Port ) simply defied belief, if there wasn't a fence around the oval he would have been out in the car park!

Clarko pulled off the con of the millennium when he smoked that one past Choco.

You want soft and shit try Aaron fiora or Danny Meyer (port or Richmond version) John Howard, Tom roach, Jarrod Oakley Nicholas, ok I'm stopping now before I bore everyone with a never ending reply, honeybun!! Oh my God I can't stop!!!!!!!

 

[che88]

You want soft and shit try Aaron fiora or Danny Meyer (port or Richmond version) John Howard, Tom roach, Jarrod Oakley Nicholas, ok I'm stopping now before I bore everyone with a never ending reply, honeybun!! Oh my God I can't stop!!!!!!!

Simon eastaugh, Ty esler Robert scaffer

 

[Damon_3388]

Looks to me like some posters are more interested in sticking the knife into opposition spuds, while ignoring their own club's ordinary players - who would have thought?

I'll stick with my club, and my spud is Nathan Lonie, who was the softest player I have ever seen, and by the length of the Flemington straight.
How he played 100 AFL games ( combined total with the Hawks and Port ) simply defied belief, if there wasn't a fence around the oval he would have been out in the car park!

Clarko pulled off the con of the millennium when he smoked that one past Choco.

That he played 100 games is genuinely news to me. I knew he played for both Hawthorn and Port, but off the top of my head I would have said that he was on AFL lists for maybe 4-5 years, and played maybe 30-40 games. I guess that's evidence of how forgettable his career actually was.

 

[1954]

To be fair, Nathan Lonie only played under Clarko for a season so it wasn't like Clarko had a big body of work to deal with.

I was surprised to see he played 8 seasons so even one season at Port was a season too long.

I don't know what Schwabby saw in him.

I wasn't aware that Lonie only played under Clarko for one year, but I do recall what I believe was his last game under him, and it may have even been against your mob at Etihad.

NL was chasing a loose ball on the wing, but when an opponent came at him from his right hand side he visibly eased out of the contest, I have never seen anything as obvious in a lot of years of watching the game.

He was taken from the field almost immediately, and I am fairly certain never represented the hawkers at AFL level again, even though there were still about 5 rounds to go in that particular season.

As an aside to the above I had a client who is a martial arts expert, and had played VFL and SANFL senior footy, so he knew a bit about the game.
He was hired by Port to in his words `toughen a couple of blokes up!'
One of those blokes was NL, who apparently attended one lesson and never came back.

 

[1954]

That he played 100 games is genuinely news to me. I knew he played for both Hawthorn and Port, but off the top of my head I would have said that he was on AFL lists for maybe 4-5 years, and played maybe 30-40 games. I guess that's evidence of how forgettable his career actually was.

It was something like high 50's for the Hawks and low 40's for Port, he may have even finished his AFL career on exactly 100 games.

 

[Acinath]

That North Melbourne first gamer who got zero disposals, when was the last time a player played a full game and had that happen?

Jonathan Brown was incredibly close to this.