Roast The Melbourne Board NAPALM thread (hosted by Topkent)

[Topkent]

Blowtorch this week is giving up easy goals by not having a sweeper at the back of a pack. Pretty much what you learn at schoolboy level. Always have someone staying down goal side of the pack to ensure they don't get an easy stroll into goal. I stopped counting at 5 of these (or similar) goals yesterday. We lost by 9 goals. Cut some of those out and it is a much closer game, then who knows what happens.

We are usually pretty good in our defensive 50, which is why we haven't seen ridiculous 100 point floggings every second week because everyone knows the ball is going to spend more than it's fair share of time there. Can't afford to gift teams goals like this (because we know we will gift them in other, more novel ways).

Small, but usual blow torch - kicking (of course) across goal when you are a less than perfect kick. I would rather you hoof it 50m up field and out on the full, than kicking it across goals, to be intercepted and have a deflating goal kicked on you. If in ANY doubt, which you should be considering you are a less than perfect kick, looooong as you can to the boundary. Again, pretty much schoolboy level stuff here.

Mini blow torch - in contrast to the small but usual blow torch, not having confidence to hit the first, easy target. You are an AFL footballer. You could kick the ball 30m 10/10 times at one point in your life or you wouldn't be an AFL footballer. Hit the easy target and keep the ball moving. Don't hesitate, wait 15 seconds for all and sundry to be manned up, then kick it there anyway. This defeats the purpose of teammates running to space for you and pi$$es everyone off, most importantly MSDS sufferers in the crowd. Kindly stop being so crap.

Great torch.. The amount of easy goals the hawks had by just strolling to the goal line was unreal
They would have kick 10 goals under minimal pressure from within 30 mtrs because we wouldnt stand goal side of our opponents

 

[RandB]

Thread title updated.

There's just way too many of 'em for just a blow torch.

Let's play Wagner!

 

[Topkent]

Thread title updated.

There's just way too many of 'em for just a blow torch.

Let's play Wagner!

Yeah this is Nuclear bomb style proportion now, and Jack Watts is standing in the middle of Hiroshima

 

[Bluelegs]

Yeah this is Nuclear bomb style proportion now, and Jack Watts is standing in the middle of Hiroshima

Dawes was much worse today.

 

[rhaz]

 

[Topkent]

Dawes was much worse today.

It's not about who is better or worse
It's about jack watts

 

[Biffinator]

Jack Watt's attempt to tackle in the last quarter has been condemned by the Mayor of Hiroshima who knows something about Ground Zeroes . . . . .

 

[RandB]

Jack Watt's attempt to tackle in the last quarter has been condemned by the Mayor of Hiroshima who knows something about Ground Zeroes . . . . .

Ironically I too yelled out "what the heck was that" every time Watts went near the footy.

 

[Benwah83]

 

[Benwah83]

I like to think this thread has just spawned a sister thread on an Indian cricket forum somewhere.

 

[Topkent]

Paul HIROOOOSHIMA

What the heck mate

Seriously, the Giants were down to 1 on the bench in the second half.. 1!!!!
This is a list that the majority have only done a few preseasons
The second half if we truly wanted to win should have been played at break neck speed, it should have been play on at all costs almost as if marking didnt exist .. we should have run the ball from one of the ground to the other almost as if to win by attrition

But no, we stuck fat with out ******* defensive style almost as if to punish the players for their performance in the first half by making them live through it
At any stage were we just going to try and win the game for the supporters? No instead we had to watch a pack of ******* overpaid actors prance around the field like a reserves team after a big night

We are going to need a miracle over the offseason to bring this team up out of the trenches, how we could throw the towel in like that says so so much more about the mental state of these pathetic campaigners than any amount of talent could, it was like a training run for GWS at times

 

[CTHORANGE]

Maybe the players thought it was Members Depreciation week?

 

[wowlace]

Maybe the players thought it was Members Depreciation week?

That's every week so......... makes sense.

 

[Supermercado]

Seriously, the Giants were down to 1 on the bench in the second half.. 1!!!!
This is a list that the majority have only done a few preseasons
The second half if we truly wanted to win should have been played at break neck speed, it should have been play on at all costs almost as if marking didnt exist .. we should have run the ball from one of the ground to the other almost as if to win by attrition

And given the state the opposition were supposed to be in we should probably have used our interchange cap instead of falling 20 short. Roos deserves the blowtorch, I'm not expecting miracles but feel free to put your hand up in a press conference and take one for the team at some point instead of blaming everyone else who has been involved 2009-2014 while getting paid millions.

 

[Major Colvin]

Maybe the players thought it was Members Depreciation week?

Haha. It is now.

 

[RandB]

The end of year promos are currently on the club website.

Couldn't help but think of our pending delistings when I saw this...

 

[Topkent]

Melbournes 2015 membership campaign

 

[Spirit of 26]

Or there's this........

 

[Bluelegs]

The end of year promos are currently on the club website.

Couldn't help but think of our pending delistings when I saw this...

View attachment 77504

"For every Melbourne player delisted we knock off five percent of the price!"

 

[Topkent]

GLEN BARTLETT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Andy_Mac]

GLEN BARTLETT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I miss something?? What did he get up to?.

 

[Demon 16]

Did I miss something?? What did he get up to?.

Rumours that he doesn't want to commit to Peter Jackson because he thinks he is a chance to get Brian Cook.

There is a thread on it - have a lsten to the 3AW link for the full picture.

Storm in a tea cup most likely.

 

[Andy_Mac]

Rumours that he doesn't want to commit to Peter Jackson because he thinks he is a chance to get Brian Cook.

Just caught up with the news. Living in Torquay I know a member of the immediate Cook family. I'll try and dig some dirt.

 

[Benwah83]

The napalm thread is resurrected even before the NAB Cup starts. Oh dear.

 

[Crimson Azure]

The napalm thread is resurrected even before the NAB Cup starts. Oh dear.

Would that make it a face-na-palm?