Roast The Unofficial Marijuana Discussion (...Depression Thread? What?)

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CLUBMEDhurst said:
Prove it
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That's the thing, does he need to? God exists for some and not for others. It's a belief and whilst most are not radicalized in this belief they are entitled to their personal beliefs. so who are we to say he does or doesn't exist.
 

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NT.Thunder said:
That's the thing, does he need to? God exists for some and not for others. It's a belief and whilst most are not radicalized in this belief they are entitled to their personal beliefs. so who are we to say he does or doesn't exist.
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Although I was brought up Catholic my belief in God is no longer linked to religion. You find God.
 
NT.Thunder said:
That's the thing, does he need to? God exists for some and not for others. It's a belief and whilst most are not radicalized in this belief they are entitled to their personal beliefs. so who are we to say he does or doesn't exist.
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That Sums it up very well:thumbsu:
 
TradeDraft said:
That is Confusing. Neither side can Prove it
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NT.Thunder said:
That's the thing, does he need to? God exists for some and not for others. It's a belief and whilst most are not radicalized in this belief they are entitled to their personal beliefs. so who are we to say he does or doesn't exist.
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Was responding to the certainty of quoted post

sirlothie said:
Die and find out... :p
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Well if I'm wrong, I've lived a good life and therefore would be welcomed wholeheartedly at the pearly gates
 
sirlothie said:
Take a step back and admire his marvellous creations.
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Dosen’t Cells make these Creations and how they started no one knows. Some People say it’s god and some others say no
 
NT.Thunder said:
I don't understand it, I'm taking more interest in it that's for sure and I can understand why people believe. Whether it's right or wrong I don't know but if it improves who you are and how you treat others it surely can't be a bad thing. Sometimes people just need something to believe in and who knows, I don't think you would be punished for your sins, I thought the whole idea was for forgiveness and to improve you as a person and maybe this, as hard as it sounds, makes you stronger as person acknowledging shortfalls and making improvements to yours and others lives.

No body deserves to live with depression or mental illness. But recognising it and making that step towards recovering is the first step towards regaining your life back and being happy with yourself for who you are and not who you were.
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Cheers for the reply.

You're right. Religion can be a good thing. It gives people faith. Hope. Although the method is a bit wayward, it does instill good actions.

I am envious of those who are religious. Because nothing is scarier when all hope is lost, and I learnt how envious I was of those who had faith that everything would be okay. It's powerful, and irrelevant whether real or not. I just don't think I'm capable of that.

But I am a good person. It's in my nature. I can confidently say that. I don't think that will ever change, irrespective of whether I believe in God or karma or whatever (although this has been a motivation for doing good in the past before).

And yeah, maybe I will become a stronger person. That's the reason or excuse I've been using for the past 4 years.

Just wondering when the tables will turn.
 

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A scary thing about depression is that...

I'm an optimist when I'm fine. I'm a dreamer. I like to have high expectations and I like to fantasise about what I want. It makes me happy. It's who I am.

But as they say, the higher you go, the harder you fall. And I definitely feel that.

I've toyed with the idea of becoming more... realistic? Cynical?

But that scares me. It might be a good defence mechanism against depression, but I feel like if that were to happen... then the real me is gone. I'm scared of the idea that that is something I'll need to resort to.

It's even gotten to the point where... if I ever imagine something I want, my natural instinctual reaction is to have a mix of realistic disappointment and fear as I "know" it'll never occur, like some sort of curse.
 
Tempest said:
My life really sucks at the moment, I have just turned 20 a few months ago and it feels like I'm going nowhere.

I work in a low skilled job and live at home with my 13 year old brother and abusive mother and it feels like all she wants is my money.
My father passed away when I was 8 after having no real connection with me.

I left school at the end of Year 11 to pursue a career in IT. I've completed my Certificate II in Computer Assembly and was halfway through an Advanced Diploma in Computer Engineering when my life really hit a turning point, I was struggling to do to the work assigned to me during my course because my mum forced me to get a job and to pay my way.

Working 2 days a week was just not enough for me to sustain my life at home, I also wanted all the luxuries of being able to eat whatever I wanted and to buy whatever I wanted as well, As it feels to me like If I am working then I should at least see some benefit from it, so I started working 3 days ; but because of this work it felt like a real struggle for me to do 3 days of work and manage my TAFE course as well, as the teachers were not particularly helpful. If I missed a day of class due to work commitments then it was "Too bad, Use google to answer your questions, you didn't come to my class so I cannot help you"
I ended up not going back to TAFE at the start of this year, with the course unfinished, and I've been working 4 days a week ever since.

My job is extremely repetitive and tedious, It's not something that I want to do for the rest of my life, and If I end up doing so then I have become a failure as a human being.
If I had to say something that I did like about it then it would be the casual environment and decent people involved (Aside from one person who I will get into later)

I often regularly have fights with my mother, she has anger management issues and anxiety, and my brother might have some form of autism based on the way he acts.

I look very much like my father who has given my mother a lot of grief in the past, he was a drug user and abused my mother many times before he passed away.
Me and my mother have never seen eye-to-eye with each other since I was in High school as that was a very troubling time for me, I was hanging out with the wrong crowd, skipping school and not doing homework.
We would always argue when I wasn't doing my homework, and it would escalate to the point where she would come upstairs, bang my door down and start to abuse me physically.

Obviously every time she did this she would threaten that if I did any thing back to her then she would call the police.
I don't like conflict, so I'd always dealt with it by running away, at one point she kicked me out of the house after midnight and If it wasn't for my girlfriend at the time I would have slept on the driveway.

I've tried to right my wrongs by attending this course and completely cutting contact with the bad people I hung out with in high school, but unfortunately that has left me with not a single friend.
All the people that I thought were decent in High School have either left me or I've left them.

These days my brother constantly tries to get me in trouble, if I as much as talk to him these days then there is an issue. It feels like my mum always takes his side of the story 100% of the time because he is the younger sibling, I've been reduced to the point where I cannot talk to him any more.
I am very much like my father and this pains my mother to see as she just want's to unleash all her hate out on me.

I've recently had a falling out with my supervisor at work, She believes that my attitude towards her is wrong, as she is the leader she believes I am in no position to question what she makes me do.
I've had a few incidents where I've spoken back to her, simply because I don't agree with her methods of doing things, and it's ended up in full blown arguments where the boss has had to get involved.

I've not spoken to my mother at all in the last 2 weeks even though we have been living in the same household.
The last time I spoke to her I had explained to her that I was in an argument with my supervisor at work and she told me "It's your fault, you can't get along with anyone, just look at yourself in the mirror you piece of s**t"
I know it's not true, as I can get along with everyone at work bar my supervisor just fine.
However after that I ended up getting very drunk that night at my uncle's place, and called her telling her that I hated her guts. She told me that she has removed me from her will and doesn't want anything to do with me.
I had to beg to her that it's obvious I can't move out of home as I don't have a cent to my name.

Financially things are very hard to me, I get paid fortnightly and I'm blowing all of my money within the first 3 days of getting paid. I pay my mother the $200 she needs for me to stay at home (even though she hasn't done s**t for me the last two weeks), I also pay for my phone plan $50, Petrol $100, and also paying off my $18,000 car. About $14,000 is already paid off, because I had a trust fund set up when my father died, but unfortunately a lot of my money was taken out by my mother before I turned 18 because I didn't realize it was legal for her to be doing that, and I have no idea where this money went. (Most likely to pay off my mothers house which apparently isn't mine any more)

With the rest of the money I get I have been gambling it away as I hate my current lifestyle and just want to get away. I'm trying to do whatever I can to get rich quick, and deep in my mind I know it's a losers game but I can't stop because I just think "Who the hell cares anyway? Surely not me"
Horse racing, Blackjack, Tattslotto, Pokies, AFL betting, you name it. It's taking my money away.

If I need any money during the rest of the fortnight, I am often getting handouts from my fathers family just to compensate for my problems.

Last Friday I thought it was the final straw at my workplace as I had yet another incident with my supervisor, she told me that "If this was my company you'd have been gone a long time ago, so you better watch your back as I've been telling the boss every time you get on my nerves and you're on a fine line here"

It made me feel physically sick as I'd known I'd done nothing wrong, she's just had it in for me for a long time now.

Friday night felt like I had almost hit rock bottom, No education, nobody to rely on, and it felt like pretty sure I was going to lose my job.
If I lose my job I lose everything, I won't be able to pay for my car, I won't be able to live at home, etc.

I was driving home from work and thinking Okay if this is it then I want to go now, I don't want to hit rock bottom. I quickly accelerated to 120km/h on the freeway and closed my eyes hoping that i'd hit something. After 5 seconds I thought that it was useless, I'm too scared to attempt to take my life. So I drove home and didn't sleep at all that night.

I got to work on Monday and was basically told that the line was drawn there, Both me and my supervisor were in the wrong apparently.
We both received a warning, but she had a further written warning taken against her as it's not the first time she's been involved in an incident at work, I've heard as many as 5 people have made complaints about her.

Anyway there's no breathing room for me at this job any more, and for the last week I've been feeling sick, I have not been able to sleep for longer than 3 hours a night, And I have no appetite, I have a heart condition which will probably mean I need surgery at age 50+ and may provide complications in the future, but I have not been able to stay awake at work so I've been drinking about 4 red bulls a day not caring about how this may affect me.

I've never been a smoker and absolutely despise it, but I've been contemplating having my first cigarette as I just don't give a damn what happens to me any more.
I'd be absolutely stuffed on alcohol right about now, But I don't have the money to afford it as I have about 5 dollars in my wallet which has to last me until Monday.

I'm simply over everything, It feels like my life does not have a purpose, Why do I go to work to get abused? Why do I come home to get abused?
If I had it my way I'd be happy just being left alone all my life.

I probably need to see a doctor about this before everything gets worse, But I've seen many doctors before to 'help' me when my father passed away and it did nothing for me, they just blurt out the same crap that never really works.

---

If anyone can provide any useful information to me then I'd greatly appreciate it.
It was just good to get this off my chest.
Sorry to bother you all with my issues.
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TheFreshBanana said:
Cheers for the reply.

You're right. Religion can be a good thing. It gives people faith. Hope. Although the method is a bit wayward, it does instill good actions.

I am envious of those who are religious. Because nothing is scarier when all hope is lost, and I learnt how envious I was of those who had faith that everything would be okay. It's powerful, and irrelevant whether real or not. I just don't think I'm capable of that.

But I am a good person. It's in my nature. I can confidently say that. I don't think that will ever change, irrespective of whether I believe in God or karma or whatever (although this has been a motivation for doing good in the past before).

And yeah, maybe I will become a stronger person. That's the reason or excuse I've been using for the past 4 years.

Just wondering when the tables will turn.
Click to expand...
My view is quite different.
I think there's a huge difference in being religious and having faith, and they don't necessarily go together.
Generally speaking being religious is giving all your personal power away to somebody's interpretation of scriptures. The Church telling you what you can and can't do. Telling you you'll go to hell. That God is vengeful. It's all based on fear, and suppression.
Having faith in yourself, loving yourself, following your heart (or passion) and trusting your own 'spirit' is completely different. That's where the power and strength lies.
If you have confidence and belief in yourself then start with small steps. It's not necessarily going to be easy and straightforward but when you start doing something you're passionate about doorways start opening.
If something's not working change it.
The important thing is to learn to trust your own intuition. We rarely know where we're going, or how things will unfold, but that's the journey of life.

Start with something small and build on it.
And believe in yourself.
 
Magpie Girl said:
My view is quite different.
I think there's a huge difference in being religious and having faith, and they don't necessarily go together.
Generally speaking being religious is giving all your personal power away to somebody's interpretation of scriptures. The Church telling you what you can and can't do. Telling you you'll go to hell. That God is vengeful. It's all based on fear, and suppression.
Having faith in yourself, loving yourself, following your heart (or passion) and trusting your own 'spirit' is completely different. That's where the power and strength lies.
If you have confidence and belief in yourself then start with small steps. It's not necessarily going to be easy and straightforward but when you start doing something you're passionate about doorways start opening.
If something's not working change it.
The important thing is to learn to trust your own intuition. We rarely know where we're going, or how things will unfold, but that's the journey of life.

Start with something small and build on it.
And believe in yourself.
Click to expand...

I think there's a huge difference in being religious and having faith, and they don't necessarily go together.

This is an underrated statement. Religion is one of the worst things to come out of Christianity.**
(*Christianity as I define as following Jesus Christ, as our Lord and Saviour, and belief in the Trinity, Father, Son & Holy Spirit.)

Religion was created by men, thus is actually flawed, and therefore can actually hurt people, when Jesus' message was to do the opposite.


I have a personal faith, in that I believe in the above. I attend a Baptist Church weekly, and bible study group on a weeknight. I love to share my faith, but will never force it upon anyone else. God created us to have our own free will, and it is up to us to choose how to live our lives. Personally I know how much better my life is when I am reading the Bible, and praying and generally being "Close to God". We live in a fallen world, so then I get complacent and "drift away" till something happens in my life to remind me to get back on track.
 
Well I am happy for people to be Religious but I hate it when they Force it on People who are not Religious or don’t go to Church and read the Bible.

No Knock on You muzzy2 just saying in General. I know a Minister and he is a great bloke as when he is not in Church he does not shove it down you Throat
 
speedytiger said:
I need to soak in the positive messages in this thread myself, just lost my job yesterday and my head is spinning
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That's really bad news speedy. I'm sorry to hear it.

Take care, and we're all thinking of you.
 
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