Oppo Camp Essendon V Hawthorn banter thread (Round 18)

[DapperDon]

Gumbleton is better than Hurley IMO.

It's like having Carey and Jono Brown playing together

 

[Furn]

It's apt because drafting him just 5 picks before Zaharakis is probably the biggest clanger in AFL history.

Clangerarakis? He makes a clanger every 6 disposals. Shoey 1 in 40. Elite disposal and holds down the leagues best forwards, all at the age of 21.

 

[Ben the Gooner]

I love stats, they can tell you anything. I think we are safe if he keeps his 2 goal average up that he has had since 2010. I love how people scrag on the Cobbler and forget the way the Hawks defence works. I think Gumby has had back luck with injury and has the ability to really hurt an opponent, but it won't be this week.

Yeah, 2 goal average, that's fine, but you need to look at why he's been restricted by his opponents.

To play on 6'8" Gumbleton, I would say you need both of these attributes:

[ ] Taller than 6'4"
[ ] Not completely shit at football

You have no tall defenders who fit into both categories. So I'd say he'll perform better against your spud brigade than Port or Geelong's far superior defences.

 

[brendan84]

I think Hurley is a Zastava Kora ( aka Yugo ) and Gumbleton is a Lada.

And Buddy is now a passenger on the bus.

 

[Necromancer Beth]

Clangerarakis? He makes a clanger every 6 disposals. Shoey 1 in 40. Elite disposal and holds down the leagues best forwards, all at the age of 21.

Burn.

 

[Necromancer Beth]

And Buddy is now a passenger on the bus.

And yet your club would jump at the trade offer of Hurley & Gumbleton for the games best player

 

[Ben the Gooner]

Clangerarakis? He makes a clanger every 6 disposals. Shoey 1 in 40. Elite disposal and holds down the leagues best forwards, all at the age of 21.

Clangers are almost as arbitrarily defined as your power rankings, Roby.

You only need to watch Clangermakers play (without the piss and poo coloured lenses) to realise how fitting the nickname is.

 

[Ben the Gooner]

And yet your club would jump at the trade offer of Hurley & Gumbleton for the games best player

You're right. We would look at swapping those two for Scott Pendlebury or Gary Ablett.

Oh, you meant Buddy? Hahahahahaha. To be the league's best player, you need a modicum of consistency.

 

[brendan84]

And yet your club would jump at the trade offer of Hurley & Gumbleton for the games best player

I doubt we would trade Hurley and Gumby for Gary Ablett.

 

[Necromancer Beth]

Yeah, 2 goal average, that's fine, but you need to look at why he's been restricted by his opponents.

To play on 6'8" Gumbleton, I would say you need both of these attributes:

[ ] Taller than 6'4"
[ ] Not completely shit at football

You have no tall defenders who fit into both categories. So I'd say he'll perform better against your spud brigade than Port or Geelong's far superior defences.

Funnily enough, you don't a defender that ticks both those boxes

 

[MinerBoy]

Yeah, 2 goal average, that's fine, but you need to look at why he's been restricted by his opponents.

To play on 6'8" Gumbleton, I would say you need both of these attributes:

[ ] Taller than 6'4"
[ ] Not completely shit at football

You have no tall defenders who fit into both categories. So I'd say he'll perform better against your spud brigade than Port or Geelong's far superior defences.

Thank feck this is the banter thread.

 

[DapperDon]

And yet your club would jump at the trade offer of Hurley & Gumbleton for the games best player

Now that Porky Hodge has let his lazy preparation slip through to the rest of the group (just superb leadership) I wouldn't want to go near Franklin's troublesome hammies.

 

[MinerBoy]

You're right. We would look at swapping those two for Scott Pendlebury or Gary Ablett.

Oh, you meant Buddy?......, you need a modicum of consistency.

Thank feck this is the banter thread.

Lol.

 

[MrFujiMoto]

Yeah, 2 goal average, that's fine, but you need to look at why he's been restricted by his opponents.

To play on 6'8" Gumbleton, I would say you need both of these attributes:

[ ] Taller than 6'4"
[ ] Not completely shit at football

You have no tall defenders who fit into both categories. So I'd say he'll perform better against your spud brigade that Port or Geelong's far superior defences.

I genuinely hope you are highly involved with the Essendon match day committee. I love the talk of the Hawks useless midget backline. We are the second best defensive unit in the league and have come up against far superior opponents than Gumby. We came away with a 56 point win against a forward line that contains the tall Tippett and Walker and just smashed the other tall forward line of the league by 47 points. As out of form as Cloke is, he is still much more dangerous and better than Gumby.

 

[Ben the Gooner]

Funnily enough, you don't a defender that ticks both those boxes

We do actually. We picked him up with the pick you so kindly gave us while chasing Shaun "I make Luke Hodge look in good nick" Burgoyne. We also have another one, who has more premierships than anyone on your list.

 

[Ben the Gooner]

I genuinely hope you are highly involved with the Essendon match day committee. I love the talk of the Hawks useless midget backline. We are the second best defensive unit in the league and have come up against far superior opponents than Gumby. We came away with a 56 point win against a forward line that contains the tall Tippett and Walker and just smashed the other tall forward line of the league by 47 points. As out of form as Cloke is, he is still much more dangerous and better than Gumby.

I suppose you think North has one of the best forwardlines in the comp given their points for column?

Grow up. Your pisspoor backline is being sheltered by a decent midfield and a cushy draw.

 

[Necromancer Beth]

We do actually. We picked him up with the pick you so kindly gave us while chasing Shaun "I make Luke Hodge look in good nick" Burgoyne. We also have another one, who has more premierships than anyone on your list.

But neither can play on a direct opponent can they. I mean, Fletcher hasn't had to be exposed to a one on one contest in about 12 years. Might explain the reason he has played for 20 years and had only two All Australian quality seasons. Dustin Fletcher makes Bryce Gibbs look like a contested ball animal.

 

[pazza]

I want Friday to be the inverse Line In The Sand game. With us winning.

 

[MrFujiMoto]

Actually come to think of it, Gumbleton would annihilate Schoenmakers. That's a mismatch.

This game just got a whole lot easier; beat the Hawks plodding midfield and we'll win by 7 or 8 goals.

Ask any of our last 6 or so opponents how plodding we are with our ball movement. We will see what occurs Friday night.

 

[Ben the Gooner]

But neither can play on a direct opponent can they. I mean, Fletcher hasn't had to be exposed to a one on one contest in about 12 years. Might explain the reason he has played for 20 years and had only two All Australian quality seasons. Dustin Fletcher makes Bryce Gibbs look like a contested ball animal.

Fletch was monstering Dunstall and Brereton without any of the protection defenders get now from structures and zones even before Clangermakers went to his first Auskick session and learnt how to butcher the footy.

Now he's playing a role so important that your ape-looking dwarf of a coach tags him every time we play.

And if we're talking AA, we're calling Harry O'Brien a star, so it's not a path we want to go down.

 

[Ben the Gooner]

Ask any of our last 6 or so opponents how plodding we are with our ball movement. We will see what occurs Friday night.

Who? The mighty Giants, Dogs, Blues, Lions and Power? How impressive. One decent win against a team with half its players missing and half of those left out of form and suddenly you've been crushing the best left right and centre.

You've been gifted a cushy draw, and now things are tightening up you'll be exposed. Maybe not by the injury riddled Pies or Dons, but your time is coming fast. If you scrape into the 4 by virtue of your piss easy draw, I'm predicting straight sets.

 

[Pweter]

But neither can play on a direct opponent can they. I mean, Fletcher hasn't had to be exposed to a one on one contest in about 12 years. Might explain the reason he has played for 20 years and had only two All Australian quality seasons. Dustin Fletcher makes Bryce Gibbs look like a contested ball animal.

I don't think I've ever seen such a low blow, not even on a banter thread. It's like comparing Leigh Matthews to Ahmed Saad, except worse.

You're a cruel cruel man/woman/being.

 

[Brown n Gold]

Always amuses me how people call him Fumbleton. Marking is Gumbleton's strongest area, has a very good set of dukes.

Typical Internet warrior stuff.

Yes but Scott Breakdownton is a little awkward to pronounce

 

[Jade]

Yes but Scott Breakdownton is a little awkward to pronounce

It's a valid point, no doubt.

 

[Brown n Gold]

Who? The mighty Giants, Dogs, Blues, Lions and Power? How impressive. One decent win against a team with half its players missing and half of those left out of form and suddenly you've been crushing the best left right and centre.

You've been gifted a cushy draw, and now things are tightening up you'll be exposed. Maybe not by the injury riddled Pies or Dons, but your time is coming fast. If you scrape into the 4 by virtue of your piss easy draw, I'm predicting straight sets.

It's been easy lately on the back of playing...

Collingwood, Geelong, West Coast, Adelaide, Sydney & St Kilda in our first 7-8 weeks. At the end of the years we have played

Pies twice
Geelong twice
Sydney twice
WCE twice
Port twice

Who have the bombers played twice?