Society & Culture The BigFooty Guide to getting the woman of Your Desire (Part 7)

[Jimmy1992]

ioppolo sounds like you are getting very close to the friendzone

d & m's are a double edged sword

Exactly what I was thinking as I was reading it.
Not that being in the friendzone is the worst thing ever. In contrast to common opinion, you can make your way out. And, in this case, if she gets to know you better, she might like it.
However, there is a difference between being in the friendzone and being so far entrenched that you may as well chop your penis off. Whatever you do ioppolo don't wait on her hand and foot, even if her boyfriend is a complete douchebag. Be friends with her, but maintain some distance at the same time.

Personally I would just tell her I am not particularly comfortable with talking to girls I find attractive about their relationship problems. It's hard to remain impartial when you have a vested interest.

She knows where you stand, you remain a good guy, and you don't have to listen to her complaining. Win-win-win.

That is just me though. I am sure other people have more subtle solutions.

If I was in the same situation, I don't know if I would necessarily let her know how I felt. It can cause her to pull back. It is a pretty confronting type situation.
However, trying to maintain distance from her relationship issues is a great idea. You don't want to get into it with a vested interest. You could a) make mistakes in your interactions with her. E.g. Convincing her to break up with him in any way, even if it is subtle. You don't want to be that guy. Or, b) you could get continually frustrated everytime she brings it up and how she may and try and make things work with him.
Be her friend, and spend time with her, but maintain distance from her relationship issues.

 

[ioppolo]

I'll clarify that she has only ever complained about her boyfriend only the once. Another work colleague who asked what she was saying and I told him, he then said "a shoulder to cry on is a d**k to ride on". This has given a completely different view on it - I see it as if the fights continue and they actually break up, I'll be the first in line while she's on the rebound (this could go either way though). I've dropped hints that I think she's attractive but I don't know if she's taken the hint, but like I said, I don't wanna make it obvious incase she has taken them already. I would tell her straight out but I'm not sure how she'd react to that. I'm biding my time waiting for the right moment to say it in a way without making it sound like I have a big crush on her.

 

[Caesar]

I don't know why guys are so afraid to let girls know when they find them attractive. It's not like it's some big secret.

It's only bad if you tell them in a way that makes you sound creepy or desperate.

 

[Werewolf]

I don't know why guys are so afraid to let girls know when they find them attractive. It's not like it's some big secret.

It's only bad if you tell them in a way that makes you sound creepy or desperate.

Do girls always know when a guy is interested or are some capable of being oblivious like us?

 

[Thistle]

Why waste your time waiting for them to break up? Go find a better, single chick.

 

[rideclutch]

That is just me though. I am sure other people have more subtle solutions.

Eh, if you can be direct, be direct IMO.

It's a pretty clear message that you're not interested in being a doormat.

 

[ioppolo]

I don't know why guys are so afraid to let girls know when they find them attractive. It's not like it's some big secret.

It's only bad if you tell them in a way that makes you sound creepy or desperate.

Women have a weird way of dealing with things.

If a chick told me I was attractive there's no way it could jeopardise the friendship, whereas it can lead to that when a bloke casually tells a chick that he's known for a while.

 

[Caesar]

What friendship? You're talking to this girl because you want to sleep with her.

If she stops talking to you because your interest in her isn't purely platonic... well you haven't exactly lost anything.

Even if she does, you might find she gets friendly again when she's single.

 

[The Passenger]

I don't know why guys are so afraid to let girls know when they find them attractive. It's not like it's some big secret.

It's only bad if you tell them in a way that makes you sound creepy or desperate.

so don't go this angle right?

 

[Vecto]

Hey everyone,

I know this is usually a thread for men, but need some help.

So the story goes, that me and my recently ex boyfriend went out for about 5 years, and everything was fine. All of a sudden, a couple of months ago, he starts acting really weird towards me and I start feeling like something is going on.

Then, out of nowhere, he confronts me about an email that me and a coworker which was apparently flirting! Something about him saying happy valentines day and me just responding saying you too. Seriously, it was hardly anything. And me, my boyfriend and the coworker go out for drinks together all the time so its not like he is strange guy.

I suggested we take a trip away together to sort things out, but he didn't want to.

Then last night he broke up with me, and demanded to see all my texts to this other guy. He looked through and saw these texts and assumed that I had been cheating on him, when I would never do that in a million years. He was yelling about how his mates online told him this is the best thing to do, and he kept talking about a catsmaninamerica, whoever that is.

So i texted him today saying, "I even said in my messages to him that I don't like him, isn't that enough?" but he isn't replying.

Please help, what do I do?

 

[Cruyff14]

Fail. And not at all funny.

 

[Jimmy1992]

Stupid attempt at humour.

 

[Affidavit]

Oh dear.

 

[RU486]

Imagine how long it took writing all that!

 

[treefingers]

Hey everyone,

I know this is usually a thread for men, but need some help.

So the story goes, that me and my recently ex boyfriend went out for about 5 years, and everything was fine. All of a sudden, a couple of months ago, he starts acting really weird towards me and I start feeling like something is going on.

Then, out of nowhere, he confronts me about an email that me and a coworker which was apparently flirting! Something about him saying happy valentines day and me just responding saying you too. Seriously, it was hardly anything. And me, my boyfriend and the coworker go out for drinks together all the time so its not like he is strange guy.

I suggested we take a trip away together to sort things out, but he didn't want to.

Then last night he broke up with me, and demanded to see all my texts to this other guy. He looked through and saw these texts and assumed that I had been cheating on him, when I would never do that in a million years. He was yelling about how his mates online told him this is the best thing to do, and he kept talking about a catsmaninamerica, whoever that is.

So i texted him today saying, "I even said in my messages to him that I don't like him, isn't that enough?" but he isn't replying.

Please help, what do I do?

 

[Stratton_Gun]

Haha gold!!!

 

[DrVanNostrand]

Soooooooooo receiving emails from a chick at 1am on a Saturday night is a good sign, yes?

 

[Cruyff14]

Soooooooooo receiving emails from a chick at 1am on a Saturday night is a good sign, yes?

Emails? Where is she, Canada?

 

[DrVanNostrand]

Emails? Where is she, Canada?

Oh Canada, the fanciful land of BigFooty legend. No, the American chick I met in Melbourne has since moved on to Bali. Two hour time difference, received 3am here. Plenty of emoticons. She doesn't like BS&ESB which is a problem.

 

[Cruyff14]

Oh Canada, the fanciful land of BigFooty legend. No, the American chick I met in Melbourne has since moved on to Bali. Two hour time difference, received 3am here. Plenty of emoticons. She doesn't like BS&ESB which is a problem.

Well, she's not worth the time then.

 

[Dagless]

Soooooooooo receiving emails from a chick at 1am on a Saturday night is a good sign, yes?

Assuming she MOVED to Bali, she's playing with you because she knows there aren't any consequences, even if it is in the throes of drunken...ness...

 

[DrVanNostrand]

Well, she's not worth the time then.

My thoughts exactly. Bitch saw them for free on the Magic tour and didn't like it. Unworkable situation.

Assuming she MOVED to Bali, she's playing with you because she knows there aren't any consequences, even if it is in the throes of drunken...ness...

Bless GD and it's frankness.

 

[Cruyff14]

My thoughts exactly. Bitch saw them for free on the Magic tour and didn't like it. Unworkable situation.



Bless GD and it's frankness.

Oh dear, unworkable indeed.

 

[Zach Package]

I have good news, which means i'm in the wrong thread...carry on

 

[Doss]

I have good news, which means i'm in the wrong thread...carry on

Come on Packarj, you can't tease us like that.