Society & Culture The BigFooty Guide to getting the woman of Your Desire (Part 7)

[Zach Package]

Come on Packarj, you can't tease us like that.

Ok so first of all, she got my name right, so tuesday was a blip on the radar i guess.

So basically I got to my lecture late, and she happened to be getting there at the same time, and on the door we see a note that says 'Pete is sick, lecture cancelled', so basically it's just us two because everyone else has already buggered off.

Then somehow (and i'm still not quite sure how this happened) we ended up having lunch together for about an hour, and she can actually hold a conversation as well, which is awesome.

Got a facebook add, doing recon as we speak.

 

[cAsEy_18]

Am preempting an awkward flirting story here - actually much more suited to "Bigfooty Guide to Getting Woman of your dreams - Version 78" but I'll see if there are any stories here, success or failure, for examples to (or not) follow.

How do people go about having a go at someone from work? (I'm 20, she's 18 for the record). We get along as well as anyone does at work, but work is about the limit of our talks. I don't really count facebook talking. And given we're casual workers who work 2-3 times a week, I might see her once a fortnight, maybe twice.

She's a bit of an exception in that she doesn't like the overly confident, swagger type guys, which many girls her age do. She's a rare one that prefers "the nice guy".
Basically I've gotta try and hint to her that I'm interested, without being too aggressive. I'm gonna have a crack for sure, just that you have to be a bit careful with it I guess, in that I'll still be working with her afterwards either way.

Stories/advice.

 

[Doss]

Am preempting an awkward flirting story here - actually much more suited to "Bigfooty Guide to Getting Woman of your dreams - Version 78" but I'll see if there are any stories here, success or failure, for examples to (or not) follow.

How do people go about having a go at someone from work? (I'm 20, she's 18 for the record). We get along as well as anyone does at work, but work is about the limit of our talks. I don't really count facebook talking. And given we're casual workers who work 2-3 times a week, I might see her once a fortnight, maybe twice.

She's a bit of an exception in that she doesn't like the overly confident, swagger type guys, which many girls her age do. She's a rare one that prefers "the nice guy".
Basically I've gotta try and hint to her that I'm interested, without being too aggressive. I'm gonna have a crack for sure, just that you have to be a bit careful with it I guess, in that I'll still be working with her afterwards either way.

Stories/advice.

Main advice would be to steer the conversation away from work as much as possible if you do catch up outside of there. I know that sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised how easily it could happen, because ultimately it is the reason you know each other.

Why do I say this? Because you need to get her to think of you of someone more than just a coworker, if that makes sense.

Just suggest something casual- a lunch/coffee, or even a quiet drink on a Sunday afternoon or something.

I was interested in a coworker once, four years ago in fact. I was hamstrung by still being somewhat gun shy after an unexpected break up six months earlier, but in the end, the main thing which stopped any possibility of something happening was that she just didn't see me that way. We weren't compatible enough. But I also reckon I made the mistake of talking about work to her too much when we did do things outside of work.

Blessing in disguise anyway- she's one of my best friends now, and is also very good friends with 'S' now.

 

[The Passenger]

Main advice would be to steer the conversation away from work as much as possible if you do catch up outside of there. I know that sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised how easily it could happen, because ultimately it is the reason you know each other.

yeah it's way easy to slip the conversation back to "so what about old johnny. he's a bit of nutter hey?"

alcohol is usually good to keep conversation flowing just gotta avoid the dangerous mistake of getting too sloshed.

 

[Silent Alarm]

How do people go about having a go at someone from work? (I'm 20, she's 18 for the record). We get along as well as anyone does at work, but work is about the limit of our talks. I don't really count facebook talking. And given we're casual workers who work 2-3 times a week, I might see her once a fortnight, maybe twice.

Probably not that hard.

The worst thing is thinking of them with a romantic or sexual intention.

Then you overanalyse everything, think too much, miss opportunities.. you develop total pussy-itus and lose any ounce of cool. Well I do. Because I'm inept. Unless I'm drunk. Or before the crush starts.

 

[cAsEy_18]

Main advice would be to steer the conversation away from work as much as possible if you do catch up outside of there. I know that sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised how easily it could happen, because ultimately it is the reason you know each other.

Why do I say this? Because you need to get her to think of you of someone more than just a coworker, if that makes sense.

Just suggest something casual- a lunch/coffee, or even a quiet drink on a Sunday afternoon or something.

I was interested in a coworker once, four years ago in fact. I was hamstrung by still being somewhat gun shy after an unexpected break up six months earlier, but in the end, the main thing which stopped any possibility of something happening was that she just didn't see me that way. We weren't compatible enough. But I also reckon I made the mistake of talking about work to her too much when we did do things outside of work.

Blessing in disguise anyway- she's one of my best friends now, and is also very good friends with 'S' now.

Fortunately there, we rarely talk about work. In fact, hardly ever. It's just more that the main, real only time we talk, is AT work. It's the step of organising to meet up/do stuff outside work.

Whilst we get along well, and are happy when we walk in and realise we're on together, it's early stages. I bought her a bottle of vodka for her birthday about a month ago - she enjoyed that, and said something like "We'll have to find a time to drink this together." Unfortunately, we've worked together maybe once since, and it was that busy we didn't get to talk a whole lot. And I'm in the position that it was that long ago, she could/may have moved on from it. It's just a slow-ish process, so I'm feeling I've gotta give her a clearer signal next time we're on together, imply/hint a bit more..

 

[Doss]

Fortunately there, we rarely talk about work. In fact, hardly ever. It's just more that the main, real only time we talk, is AT work. It's the step of organising to meet up/do stuff outside work.

Whilst we get along well, and are happy when we walk in and realise we're on together, it's early stages. I bought her a bottle of vodka for her birthday about a month ago - she enjoyed that, and said something like "We'll have to find a time to drink this together." Unfortunately, we've worked together maybe once since, and it was that busy we didn't get to talk a whole lot. And I'm in the position that it was that long ago, she could/may have moved on from it. It's just a slow-ish process, so I'm feeling I've gotta give her a clearer signal next time we're on together, imply/hint a bit more..

The vodka you gave her is akin to a foot in the door, my man.

Do you have her number?

Casey18: "Hey xxx, managed to sample that fine vodka yet? I wouldn't mind having a try myself, when are you free?"

Although as someone said elsewhere, sharing a bottle of spirit is a good way of getting quite toasted, which is not necessarily what you want at this point. A more relaxed setting is ideal, which is why I suggested lunch/coffee or just a couple quiet drinks.

The vodka option is something that can be used later on if something starts to eventuate..

 

[Cruyff14]

Am preempting an awkward flirting story here - actually much more suited to "Bigfooty Guide to Getting Woman of your dreams - Version 78" but I'll see if there are any stories here, success or failure, for examples to (or not) follow.

How do people go about having a go at someone from work? (I'm 20, she's 18 for the record). We get along as well as anyone does at work, but work is about the limit of our talks. I don't really count facebook talking. And given we're casual workers who work 2-3 times a week, I might see her once a fortnight, maybe twice.

She's a bit of an exception in that she doesn't like the overly confident, swagger type guys, which many girls her age do. She's a rare one that prefers "the nice guy".
Basically I've gotta try and hint to her that I'm interested, without being too aggressive. I'm gonna have a crack for sure, just that you have to be a bit careful with it I guess, in that I'll still be working with her afterwards either way.

Stories/advice.

Don't shit where you eat.

 

[Stratton_Gun]

Don't shit where you eat.

and he's dropping plunkies all over the dessert cart

 

[Cruyff14]

and he's dropping plunkies all over the dessert cart

haha

 

[Stratton_Gun]

I can't tell if that "haha" was sincere or not Cruyff14. It is actually a quote from Two and Half Men

 

[Cruyff14]

Was.

 

[cAsEy_18]

The vodka you gave her is akin to a foot in the door, my man.

Do you have her number?

Casey18: "Hey xxx, managed to sample that fine vodka yet? I wouldn't mind having a try myself, when are you free?"

Although as someone said elsewhere, sharing a bottle of spirit is a good way of getting quite toasted, which is not necessarily what you want at this point. A more relaxed setting is ideal, which is why I suggested lunch/coffee or just a couple quiet drinks.

The vodka option is something that can be used later on if something starts to eventuate..

I don't have her number, but I could very easily get it next time I see her, that wouldn't be an issue. And I think I need to, because that's the main problem at the moment, I might only see her/talk to her once every couple weeks, so I make small progress each time, and then it's almost wasted.

One of the last times I talked to her though, I've been trying to get her to watch Community for a while (I'm a fair fan), so I said one night we should watch the first few episodes together, maybe a couple drinks, and her reply was "Haha sounds good"

Two things:
a) We're both really busy at the moment, the combination of work and uni doesn't leave a lot of free time, and even when either of us do it's unlikely they match up. The middle few weeks of uni with assignments etc.. are usually pretty busy. Which left us saying "We'll find a time"...which is a bit open-ended, and that was a week ago.

b) And this will sound a bit stupid given how I've painted the picture thus far...but I'm almost 100% sure she doesn't know I'm into her. Our workplace is very friendly, everyone gets along - great place to work obviously, but I think it means she's just seeing this as 2 people who get along, hanging out...like friends.

I feel I've gotta make it more obvious to her, yet you've basically got to do that when it's just the 2 of you hanging out, and we can't find a time anytime soon. And the longer you wait - yeah, overthinking it probably, but the lack of getting to see her regularly makes it that bit harder.

 

[neroblack]

I don't have her number, but I could very easily get it next time I see her, that wouldn't be an issue. And I think I need to, because that's the main problem at the moment, I might only see her/talk to her once every couple weeks, so I make small progress each time, and then it's almost wasted.

One of the last times I talked to her though, I've been trying to get her to watch Community for a while (I'm a fair fan), so I said one night we should watch the first few episodes together, maybe a couple drinks, and her reply was "Haha sounds good"

Two things:
a) We're both really busy at the moment, the combination of work and uni doesn't leave a lot of free time, and even when either of us do it's unlikely they match up. The middle few weeks of uni with assignments etc.. are usually pretty busy. Which left us saying "We'll find a time"...which is a bit open-ended, and that was a week ago.

b) And this will sound a bit stupid given how I've painted the picture thus far...but I'm almost 100% sure she doesn't know I'm into her. Our workplace is very friendly, everyone gets along - great place to work obviously, but I think it means she's just seeing this as 2 people who get along, hanging out...like friends.

I feel I've gotta make it more obvious to her, yet you've basically got to do that when it's just the 2 of you hanging out, and we can't find a time anytime soon. And the longer you wait - yeah, overthinking it probably, but the lack of getting to see her regularly makes it that bit harder.

I've had a brainwave..

 

[The_Answer3]

I don't have her number, but I could very easily get it next time I see her, that wouldn't be an issue. And I think I need to, because that's the main problem at the moment, I might only see her/talk to her once every couple weeks, so I make small progress each time, and then it's almost wasted.

One of the last times I talked to her though, I've been trying to get her to watch Community for a while (I'm a fair fan), so I said one night we should watch the first few episodes together, maybe a couple drinks, and her reply was "Haha sounds good"

Two things:
a) We're both really busy at the moment, the combination of work and uni doesn't leave a lot of free time, and even when either of us do it's unlikely they match up. The middle few weeks of uni with assignments etc.. are usually pretty busy. Which left us saying "We'll find a time"...which is a bit open-ended, and that was a week ago.

b) And this will sound a bit stupid given how I've painted the picture thus far...but I'm almost 100% sure she doesn't know I'm into her. Our workplace is very friendly, everyone gets along - great place to work obviously, but I think it means she's just seeing this as 2 people who get along, hanging out...like friends.

I feel I've gotta make it more obvious to her, yet you've basically got to do that when it's just the 2 of you hanging out, and we can't find a time anytime soon. And the longer you wait - yeah, overthinking it probably, but the lack of getting to see her regularly makes it that bit harder.

"geez we both seem stressed out by al the uni and work, we should catch up for a drink to relax"

or

"wana see my pen0r, will take your mind off all your work"

They're both good options.

 

[kfc1]

go to work with no pants on*

* only appropriate on casual friday of course

 

[Dagless]

I don't have her number, but I could very easily get it next time I see her, that wouldn't be an issue. And I think I need to, because that's the main problem at the moment, I might only see her/talk to her once every couple weeks, so I make small progress each time, and then it's almost wasted.

One of the last times I talked to her though, I've been trying to get her to watch Community for a while (I'm a fair fan), so I said one night we should watch the first few episodes together, maybe a couple drinks, and her reply was "Haha sounds good"

Two things:
a) We're both really busy at the moment, the combination of work and uni doesn't leave a lot of free time, and even when either of us do it's unlikely they match up. The middle few weeks of uni with assignments etc.. are usually pretty busy. Which left us saying "We'll find a time"...which is a bit open-ended, and that was a week ago.

b) And this will sound a bit stupid given how I've painted the picture thus far...but I'm almost 100% sure she doesn't know I'm into her. Our workplace is very friendly, everyone gets along - great place to work obviously, but I think it means she's just seeing this as 2 people who get along, hanging out...like friends.

I feel I've gotta make it more obvious to her, yet you've basically got to do that when it's just the 2 of you hanging out, and we can't find a time anytime soon. And the longer you wait - yeah, overthinking it probably, but the lack of getting to see her regularly makes it that bit harder.

 

[Doss]

They're not a fan of the subtle approach around here, cAsEy_18.

 

[cAsEy_18]

They're not a fan of the subtle approach around here, cAsEy_18.

Haha no, I've noticed that.

The weird thing is the last maybe 2-3 girls I've had a go for, have been the wrong sort of girl, and I've been fairly subtle, cautious. They've all come out and said be confident, aggressive, obvious.
I've finally learned how to do that, and this girl is almost the opposite haha.

 

[Doss]

Haha no, I've noticed that.

The weird thing is the last maybe 2-3 girls I've had a go for, have been the wrong sort of girl, and I've been fairly subtle, cautious. They've all come out and said be confident, aggressive, obvious.
I've finally learned how to do that, and this girl is almost the opposite haha.

Horses for courses, mate.

Reading women and trying to work out the 'right' approach to a particular individual is one of life's great puzzles, and sometimes, just plain frustrating.

 

[Jimmy1992]

"geez we both seem stressed out by al the uni and work, we should catch up for a drink to relax"

or

"wana see my pen0r, will take your mind off all your work"

They're both good options.

I always find myself pissing myself whenever you post.

Haha no, I've noticed that.

The weird thing is the last maybe 2-3 girls I've had a go for, have been the wrong sort of girl, and I've been fairly subtle, cautious. They've all come out and said be confident, aggressive, obvious.
I've finally learned how to do that, and this girl is almost the opposite haha.

I'm naturally the nice guy, but, I can play the arrogant doucehbag. It is all about, as was just said, playing the game the they want it. Obviously, if you're looking for a long term type relationship, playing any games, and being who you are not is not a good strategy. As the old adage goes 'If she doesn't like you for you, she's not worth it.' But, if you are naturally a nice guy, then use that.
My story is pretty similar. This is my ex girlfriend who was, in the end, a... We won't go into that. But, the story.

I had the opposite situation to you, in that she was older than me, and had been at my workplace for a couple of years when I started there. Anyway, we got introduced on my first shift, and when I worked my next one, I tried to talk to her. Not because I wanted anything at that point, but, because I didn't really know anyone. Anyway, we spoke a bit, added her on facebook, and she went over to Japan a few weeks after I just started. I kept in contact with her while she was over there. And, we arranged to watch some TV and what not when she got back. Long story short, we ended up going out for over a year after that. Following that she destroyed me, and I now, can be a major douche.
I think, just talk to her whenever you get the chance, and just show an interest in her, listen to her etc. But, don't be someone your not just to try and get with her. That's a recipe for disaster.

 

[cAsEy_18]

I always find myself pissing myself whenever you post.



I'm naturally the nice guy, but, I can play the arrogant doucehbag. It is all about, as was just said, playing the game the they want it. Obviously, if you're looking for a long term type relationship, playing any games, and being who you are not is not a good strategy. As the old adage goes 'If she doesn't like you for you, she's not worth it.' But, if you are naturally a nice guy, then use that.
My story is pretty similar. This is my ex girlfriend who was, in the end, a... We won't go into that. But, the story.

I had the opposite situation to you, in that she was older than me, and had been at my workplace for a couple of years when I started there. Anyway, we got introduced on my first shift, and when I worked my next one, I tried to talk to her. Not because I wanted anything at that point, but, because I didn't really know anyone. Anyway, we spoke a bit, added her on facebook, and she went over to Japan a few weeks after I just started. I kept in contact with her while she was over there. And, we arranged to watch some TV and what not when she got back. Long story short, we ended up going out for over a year after that. Following that she destroyed me, and I now, can be a major douche.
I think, just talk to her whenever you get the chance, and just show an interest in her, listen to her etc. But, don't be someone your not just to try and get with her. That's a recipe for disaster.

Cheers mate, good/interesting story.

Yeah, my natural thing is definitely the "nice guy". It just so happens that all my girl "friends" just aren't that dating/relationship type, and so have spent about the last year or so trying to help me turn into this other type of guy.
Now I've basically just gotta ignore that, because this girl's different, she likes the "nice" guy approach, that's more her thing. Which is good, it basically means I just have to be myself.

It can get you to do a lot of things that saying "If she doesnt like you for you, it's not worth it" haha, that's usually the thing that pushes me over the edge to making a move. Always better than the "what-if", I hate the what-if.

 

[ioppolo]

Well I didn't really wanna go for advice on an internet forum but meh.

There's this chick I work with. A couple days a week we are rostered in generally the same area, so I like to take advantage of this by spending as much time with her as possible and using whatever excuse to see her. We get along extremely well and we have ALOT in common. She has a boyfriend but I still flirt with her anyway. Recently she was telling me how her and the boyfriend had been fighting a bit lately. We followed that up with one of those 'deep and meaningful' conversations.

After this though I noticed that she talks and acts differently (as in more comfortably) around me compared to other guys at work. I don't know whether it's flirting or not since I don't quite know her that well yet. She has given me a lift home a couple times but I'm worried I'm coming on too strong or making it too obvious that I like her. I'm extremely sure I won't really get anywhere with her but I haven't had feelings this strong for a girl since my early high school years. I'm sort of stuck as to what to do.

FWIW she's two years older then me.

So anyway, she apparently broke up with her boyfriend while I was in Bali last week. While I did feel sorry for her, on the inside I was more like...



Should be a cakewalk from here.

 

[Ricketts]

Well I didn't really wanna go for advice on an internet forum but meh.

There's this chick I work with. A couple days a week we are rostered in generally the same area, so I like to take advantage of this by spending as much time with her as possible and using whatever excuse to see her. We get along extremely well and we have ALOT in common. She has a boyfriend but I still flirt with her anyway. Recently she was telling me how her and the boyfriend had been fighting a bit lately. We followed that up with one of those 'deep and meaningful' conversations.

After this though I noticed that she talks and acts differently (as in more comfortably) around me compared to other guys at work. I don't know whether it's flirting or not since I don't quite know her that well yet. She has given me a lift home a couple times but I'm worried I'm coming on too strong or making it too obvious that I like her. I'm extremely sure I won't really get anywhere with her but I haven't had feelings this strong for a girl since my early high school years. I'm sort of stuck as to what to do.

FWIW she's two years older then me.

So anyway, she apparently broke up with her boyfriend while I was in Bali last week. While I did feel sorry for her, on the inside I was more like...



Should be a cakewalk from here.

Sounds more like you're in the friend zone.

 

[Doss]

Anyone on rebound (male or female) should be treated with a fair degree of caution.

I'm not saying you shouldn't go there, just don't be surprised if she's a bit topsy turvy at times.