Roast 2014 Comical commentary thread

[TNTre]

A new season (albeit one round in) and a clean commentary season awaits us. What gems of gold can we look forward to this year?

To kick things off, courtesy of Bruce "The Goose" Mcavaney, is describing how Heppell had nowhere to go after he'd been tackled by Burgoyne.

Or, if that's not to your taste, perhaps hearing about how "Springy" Jack Gunston is.

Have at it!

 

[Philch]

I like that our ageing commentators and especially those on Seven are becoming increasingly more stupid in their pursuit of the sublime, TNTyre. Oi.

 

[TNTre]

I thought "Uncle Pauly" was the old fat guy from Rocky.

 

[Frank Grimes]

Listening to the commentary I had to laugh when they started to question Hawthorns lack of hunger for going back to back when it looked like Essendon was going to win, ignoring that the Hawks had so many key players out tonight.

Than the Hawks lifted in the last 5 minutes and turned the game around for a brave victory.

 

[Hodge is God]

My favourite was "and he jabs it over the top to Watson."

Onya Bruce

 

[Agent Smith]

I see Mark Stevens is doing everything he can to get Lewis up on a charge of staging. Apparently, that was one of the three big things he took away from the match. What an absolute low-life flog, following in the footsteps of 'Hutchie' and Barrett trying their darndest to make the headlines rather than just report them. Wish I could line them all up in front of a firing squad...

 

[Hawker55]

The wanking over Paul Chapman tonight was ridiculous. I swear there's an order to Bruce's love for players - if Cyril plays and Chappy doesn't he's just as bad.

 

[Ned Ryerson]

3-4 minutes to go, less than a kick in it:

Bruce: 'Next goal is important, wouldn't you say?' - master of the stating the obvious, wouldn't you say?

 

[Off The Couch]

3-4 minutes to go, less than a kick in it:

Bruce: 'Next goal is important, wouldn't you say?' - master of the stating the obvious, wouldn't you say?

My favourite "next goal wins wouldn't you think"

 

[Baz_hawk]

Commentary was pretty lame for Roughy's goal, thought it was worthy of a little excitement

 

[Bosk]

I'm genuinely surprised these days if Bruce can go a single game without slipping in a homoerotic comment of some sort.

I'm extremely skeptical about that marriage of his... if you know what I mean.

 

[Fevola99]

At least Bruce and friends know how to pronounce Breust and Cheney's names

 

[Argy]

I chuckled when Heppel did some nice work and then taken over the boundary. Bruce said "He's got a football brain that kid - could play for Hawthorn."

 

[madhawksfan]

The bias has started early.

I see Mark Stevens is doing everything he can to get Lewis up on a charge of staging. Apparently, that was one of the three big things he took away from the match. What an absolute low-life flog, following in the footsteps of 'Hutchie' and Barrett trying their darndest to make the headlines rather than just report them. Wish I could line them all up in front of a firing squad...

I wonder if Mark Stevens would still be standing if he copped a whack to the guts when he wasn't expecting it.

 

[TNTre]

If I had a dollar every time I heard "gee the next goal is important, isn't it?" I'd be a rich man. Bruce was asking that in the second quarter!

 

[brew]

From the finals last year Gerard Healy is 1-4 with the Hawks

Keep up the good work Gerard!

 

[Ned Ryerson]

The Uncle Paulie thing was odd. I always call Hale 'Papa Hale' though because he looks like a 50 year old running around with all the kids.

 

[Max Force]

My favourite was "and he jabs it into the top of Watson."

Onya Bruce

or was it my hearing?

 

[Del33640]

The Glasser with 5 mins to go: "Essendon will win this".
The Glasser post match: "Hawthorn were always going to win this".

I guess the fact that we're listening to him at all suggests the whole AFL fraternity has a fairly short attention span.

 

[Del33640]

"The Goose" Mcavaney, is describing how Heppell had nowhere to go after he'd been tackled by Burgoyne

I loved that, the guy gets barrelled over the line and Bruce turns it into a brilliant decision of some sort – replete with Mcavaney roar. Does anyone not believe that he's a first class ass monkey?

 

[Siri]

Tim Watson was sooooo hard at 3/4 time, & understandably so. I suppose premature efc celebration cums with age. Time for some nasal spray Timmy!

 

[PNess]

From the finals last year Gerard Healy is 1-4 with the Hawks

Keep up the good work Gerard!

Some people just never learn. He probably tipped against Black Caviar 25 times.

 

[Hodgepodge]

Crazy Vossy on the SEN this morning saying that Watson's leadership during the drug crisis makes him the best captain. How about the fact that he agreed to take the drugs? That's not great leadership.

 

[HomerJayS]

VFL commentary on ABC. this afternoon:

Commentator A: "Good crowd at Etihad last night"

Commentator B: "if you like Essendon supporters"

 

[TNTre]

I loved that, the guy gets barrelled over the line and Bruce turns it into a brilliant decision of some sort – replete with Mcavaney roar. Does anyone not believe that he's a first class ass monkey?

Maybe I'm being a bit harsh though, because according to Bruce "Heppell has a footballing brain. Gee he could play for Hawthorn!"

Does anyone think that Bruce was actually sacked years ago but just kept turning up?