PhenomenalV1
The Deletion Artist
- Jan 3, 2017
- 11,834
- 24,301
- AFL Club
- Carlton
- Other Teams
- Dragons FFC, Matt Hardy
Dear The Filth Wizard and/or Ant Bear (and Cloud_ too if you want to incorporate some of my ideas before you step down).
It has come to my attention that the SFA needs some more gimmicks to liven up the competition a little. We've had State of Origin make a comeback, seen themed rounds every now and again, but I keep wondering...why don't we go ALL IN and borrow some wrestling tropes and gimmicks to use as part of the league's structure?
When you think about it, the SFA owes a lot of its presentation to wrestling, with it's heels, faces, storylines, and Vince Russo-esque shocking turns, why not embrace the heritage?
I know that there may be some BACKLASH to some of the ideas that I'm about to propose, but hear me out.
Let's start with an idea for a fixture overhaul...
IDEA 1: BASE THE FIXTURE AROUND ONGOING FEUDS
Since the SFA is driven by ongoing beefs between posters and/or clubs, it only seems fitting to re-arrange the season structure around the aforementioned conflict.
My proposal is that while we keep the same 16-17 week time frame for the home and away season, we structure the rounds in a similar way to a wrestling pay-per-view, with matches based around ongoing quarrels and venomous media pieces claiming that your team is the best, with the match of the round main eventing (so to speak).
There's been a lot of talk around the league that there's too much TLC and not enough fighting, so this structure would encourage conflict.
One notable factor is that if the feuds continue beyond the round, the two teams in question can play each other again the week after, possibly with a match stipulation (see below), with the potential to keep going even further.
Fight forever! (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap) Fight forever! (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap) Fight forever! (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap) Fight forever! (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap)
The one drawback to this idea is that no-one would want to play the Bombers more than one week in a row...
IDEA 2: GIMMICK MATCHES
As I mentioned earlier, any feud continuation may need a match stipulation, or "gimmick match", as we in the Pissing-Off-Jim Cornette community call it.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Phenom, how the hell would gimmick matches work in a qooty context?".
To which I say, take a look at this list of proposals:
NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCHES: No free kicks are awarded, and you're allowed to bring weapons onto the field.
EXTREME RULES MATCHES: Much the same as above, but the matches are played in Philadelphia.
TABLES, LADDERS, AND CHAIRS MATCHES: The goalposts are suspended 20 feet above the oval, and players must use tables, ladders, and chairs to kick goals. No free kicks either.
GOALS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCHES: Same as No Disqualification matches, except there's no out of bounds, no ball ups after goals, and goals can be kicked between anything resembling a set of two poles, e.g. lamp posts, trees, power poles, and even goal posts at other qooty grounds.
HELL IN A CELL MATCHES: Same as No Disqualification matches, but with a giant cage with a roof surrounding the qooty field.
Everyone would try and throw the Bombers off the cell!
And those are just a fraction of what could be possible!
IDEA 3: USING THE PREMIERSHIP AS THE CHAMPIONSHIP BELT
This one's pretty self explanatory; the reigning premiership team must treat the premiership like a championship, putting it on the line in all of their matches during the season.
You have to work as a team to win the premiership
Should they lose the premiership, then the club that beat then are declared the new reigning premiers, you get the gist.
IDEA 4: RADICAL FINALS OVERHAUL
This might be controversial, but I propose that the current finals system be scrapped and replaced with the following system, which I have dubbed "The Road to the Grand Final":
WEEK ONE: The eleven teams who aren't the premiers compete in a Royal Rumble match.
The match would work like this: each team starts with 90 points, and they are eliminated if they get 90 points scored against them. The wooden spooners and the 11th placed team would enter first, and at each quarter time break (yes, I do know that would mean that there'd be 10 quarters in this match), another team enters. Eventually, the last team remaining would win, and progress to the Grand Final.
Imagine this, but with 220 wrestlers
The one main drawback is that logistically, the match would be bit of a nightmare to put together, as it would require a massive playing field with 11 sets of goals, but I feel that the entertainment factor would be worth it.
WEEK TWO: The ten teams that failed to win the Royal Rumble Match will be seeded from 1-10, and play a match against their opposite seed. The winners of these matches progress to week three.
WEEK THREE: The premiers defend their title against the winners from week two in an Elimination Chamber match, which is a hybrid of a Hell in a Cell match and the Royal Rumble (see the descriptions of those matches for more details). The winners of this match are declared the premiers and go on to the Grand Final.
WEEK FOUR: The Grand Final, a standard qooty match held between the Royal Rumble winners, and the reigning premiers. Pretty simple concept to grasp, I think.
Imagine this, but with less people booing Roman Reigns
I believe that the future admin should take these concepts on board, as I firmly believe that these ideas would enrich, benefit, and ultimately make the Sweet Football Association the world's premier fictional sporting competition.
As John Oliver said in his piece about how WWE screws over their wrestlers: "Wrestling is better than the things you like".
It has come to my attention that the SFA needs some more gimmicks to liven up the competition a little. We've had State of Origin make a comeback, seen themed rounds every now and again, but I keep wondering...why don't we go ALL IN and borrow some wrestling tropes and gimmicks to use as part of the league's structure?
When you think about it, the SFA owes a lot of its presentation to wrestling, with it's heels, faces, storylines, and Vince Russo-esque shocking turns, why not embrace the heritage?
I know that there may be some BACKLASH to some of the ideas that I'm about to propose, but hear me out.
Let's start with an idea for a fixture overhaul...
IDEA 1: BASE THE FIXTURE AROUND ONGOING FEUDS
Since the SFA is driven by ongoing beefs between posters and/or clubs, it only seems fitting to re-arrange the season structure around the aforementioned conflict.
My proposal is that while we keep the same 16-17 week time frame for the home and away season, we structure the rounds in a similar way to a wrestling pay-per-view, with matches based around ongoing quarrels and venomous media pieces claiming that your team is the best, with the match of the round main eventing (so to speak).
There's been a lot of talk around the league that there's too much TLC and not enough fighting, so this structure would encourage conflict.
One notable factor is that if the feuds continue beyond the round, the two teams in question can play each other again the week after, possibly with a match stipulation (see below), with the potential to keep going even further.
Fight forever! (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap) Fight forever! (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap) Fight forever! (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap) Fight forever! (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap)
The one drawback to this idea is that no-one would want to play the Bombers more than one week in a row...
IDEA 2: GIMMICK MATCHES
As I mentioned earlier, any feud continuation may need a match stipulation, or "gimmick match", as we in the Pissing-Off-Jim Cornette community call it.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Phenom, how the hell would gimmick matches work in a qooty context?".
To which I say, take a look at this list of proposals:
NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCHES: No free kicks are awarded, and you're allowed to bring weapons onto the field.
EXTREME RULES MATCHES: Much the same as above, but the matches are played in Philadelphia.
TABLES, LADDERS, AND CHAIRS MATCHES: The goalposts are suspended 20 feet above the oval, and players must use tables, ladders, and chairs to kick goals. No free kicks either.
GOALS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCHES: Same as No Disqualification matches, except there's no out of bounds, no ball ups after goals, and goals can be kicked between anything resembling a set of two poles, e.g. lamp posts, trees, power poles, and even goal posts at other qooty grounds.
HELL IN A CELL MATCHES: Same as No Disqualification matches, but with a giant cage with a roof surrounding the qooty field.
Everyone would try and throw the Bombers off the cell!
And those are just a fraction of what could be possible!
IDEA 3: USING THE PREMIERSHIP AS THE CHAMPIONSHIP BELT
This one's pretty self explanatory; the reigning premiership team must treat the premiership like a championship, putting it on the line in all of their matches during the season.
You have to work as a team to win the premiership
Should they lose the premiership, then the club that beat then are declared the new reigning premiers, you get the gist.
IDEA 4: RADICAL FINALS OVERHAUL
This might be controversial, but I propose that the current finals system be scrapped and replaced with the following system, which I have dubbed "The Road to the Grand Final":
WEEK ONE: The eleven teams who aren't the premiers compete in a Royal Rumble match.
The match would work like this: each team starts with 90 points, and they are eliminated if they get 90 points scored against them. The wooden spooners and the 11th placed team would enter first, and at each quarter time break (yes, I do know that would mean that there'd be 10 quarters in this match), another team enters. Eventually, the last team remaining would win, and progress to the Grand Final.
Imagine this, but with 220 wrestlers
The one main drawback is that logistically, the match would be bit of a nightmare to put together, as it would require a massive playing field with 11 sets of goals, but I feel that the entertainment factor would be worth it.
WEEK TWO: The ten teams that failed to win the Royal Rumble Match will be seeded from 1-10, and play a match against their opposite seed. The winners of these matches progress to week three.
WEEK THREE: The premiers defend their title against the winners from week two in an Elimination Chamber match, which is a hybrid of a Hell in a Cell match and the Royal Rumble (see the descriptions of those matches for more details). The winners of this match are declared the premiers and go on to the Grand Final.
WEEK FOUR: The Grand Final, a standard qooty match held between the Royal Rumble winners, and the reigning premiers. Pretty simple concept to grasp, I think.
Imagine this, but with less people booing Roman Reigns
I believe that the future admin should take these concepts on board, as I firmly believe that these ideas would enrich, benefit, and ultimately make the Sweet Football Association the world's premier fictional sporting competition.
As John Oliver said in his piece about how WWE screws over their wrestlers: "Wrestling is better than the things you like".
