Dad jokes - add yours

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The Jesus

What Could Go Wrong?
Oct 22, 2014
18,299
31,366
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
Leeds United, East Side Hawks
A man was stopped by the police around 2 am. The officer asked him where he was going at that time of night...
The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late"
The officer, " Oh really........ and Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The Man, "That would be my wife"
 

krakouers85

Premium Platinum
Sep 13, 2011
3,293
7,745
Independent Republic of Perth
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
Claremont
A man was stopped by the police around 2 am. The officer asked him where he was going at that time of night...
The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late"
The officer, " Oh really........ and Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The Man, "That would be my wife"
A man has been going around stealing wheels off police cars, police have been working tirelessly to catch him

A hole has been dug outside the local police station, police are looking into it
 

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gokangas

Premium Platinum
Jan 16, 2004
33,023
18,173
Melbourne
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
Storm - Victory
A man has been going around stealing wheels off police cars, police have been working tirelessly to catch him

A hole has been dug outside the local police station, police are looking into it
I hear someone broke into Collingwood Police Station and stole all their toilets. At the moment Police have nothing to go on.
 

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big_e

Premium Platinum
Apr 28, 2008
6,674
19,233
The Championship
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
Wycombe Wanderers
People said that my dyslexia would affect my poetry.

Not sure what they were thinking. I have a lovely jug, vase and plate to prove them wrong.
That reminds me of the agnostic, insomniac dyslexic. He would lie awake all night, wondering if there really was a dog.
 

Bertie22

Debutant
Apr 22, 2018
103
629
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Q: Why did the computer need a jacket?

A: Because it kept freezing.


Q: Why did the elephants at the circus go on strike?

A: They were tired of working for peanuts.


Q: How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?

A: By its bark.


Q: What time do ducks wake up in the morning?

A: At the quack of dawn.

This is the end of my catalogue...until I find the one from last century!!!
 

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